side notes

Last night, I had a dream where I was in the living room of my old house. It was dark and shadowy, the stairway and kitchen entrance fading into pitch black. I wasn't at all put off by this at the time, but in retrospect, it was a rather creepy, horror game type lighting.

As with all of my lucid dreams, I got a random inkling that I was dreaming. I plugged my nose and sure enough I could still breathe and was indeed dreaming.

Alright, time to get down business. I tried to summon someone. I envisioned her appearing; nothing happened. I called her name; nothing. "Oh right," I thought to myself, "I need to focus and be aware." I plugged my nose once more and checked out my hands to reaffirm that I was dreaming; could still breathe, and my fingers were deformed. Then I took time to be aware of myself and my surroundings. Then, I once again attempted to summon my friend. I called out, looking around, envisioning her coming down the stairs. Nothing. No matter how many times I tried, nothing happened.

In fact, nothing whatsoever was happening. It was just me in this pseudo-horror room. Eventually I woke up without accomplishing anything. I don't have lucid dreams often (as I mentioned, I've only ever gotten them randomly, never by induction methods), but this sort of thing has happened with the last few I've had. I've had almost no control these past few lucids, even though I've had little trouble controlling them in the past when I didn't even bother trying to ground myself.

I think it lasted longer than most of my lucids though.

A lot of stuff happened, and I had more than one dream, but I think this is all from the same one.


PART 1: I was living in a home similar to my apartment. My 9yo brother and mom were there, as well as another adult and another kid. I can't remember the whole story, but there was some kind of conflict within the family. The final part involved me putting my brother to bed and saying something comforting. I heard my mom go, "STOP," from her room.


PART 2: I was in my grandma's backyard at night with some other guy. He pointed out a big and bright red star cluster thing and said it was Israel (which is a star cluster according to dream logic, I guess) and that it was normally not visible were we were (a city). I thought to myself, I wonder if I can see the Pleiades from here? Sure enough, there was a smaller blue cluster nearby.

Suddenly, and I shit you not, the "Pleiades" start shifting around until they formed a large rectangular pattern in the sky, which proceeded to zoom away. "Holy shit, holy fuck, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!" I said. I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.

But wait, I thought, I might be dreaming. I pinched my nose and sure enough, I could breathe. I was disappointed, but my attention quickly shifted to the fact that I was now lucid, and I remembered that I needed to keep the dream stable. My vision became narrow. There were two black bars above and below where my vision was, and I could see my glasses in front of my face. I felt like I couldn't fully open my eyes. I figured I may as well summon a girl while I was "there". It took a few attempts, but I finally summoned one.

My vision returned and the dream felt stabilized. I ended up in a house where two people were going at it on the floor. The one on top (not sure if it was a guy) moved out of my way, giving me full access to the girl. However, I had quite a bit of trouble entering her. No matter how much I tried to manually "open" her, my dream logic porn dick would not go in. I did manage to get inside of her once, but it was uncomfortable.

After that, I woke up, but I took me several seconds to fully realize it.

TL;DR Domestic conflict, aliens, and I finally got lucid for more than fifteen fucking seconds.


I just got an idea. If I were to see a UFO or some other paranormal thing in waking life like I did here, I would do a reality check just to make sure I wasn't dreaming (again, like I did here). What happens to you in waking life can affect dream events. So, if I watch a lot of YouTube videos about UFOs and whatnot, I might dream about them more, thus increasing the likelihood of me doing a reality check and becoming lucid.

It seems like it might work. I'll try this tonight. What do you think?

I haven't been on lately. I haven't been able to set aside much time because of school. Now that I'm on spring break, I'm briefly returning from my hiatus.

On to the dream:

The only parts I could remember are me sitting next to the girl I like (this is a different girl, BTW). It was actually on two or three separate occasions in the dream. She was even completely fine with it when I asked her. The seats weren't very big, so we were sorta pressed up against each other, which felt very, very, very nice.

All I remember was that I was watching porn.

From now on, I'll try doing DJs before going back to sleep.

EDIT: I remember I was playing Outlast, except it wasn't Outlast, because I've never played Outlast.

I may have just had my first lucid.

In the dream, I was in a first-person video game. The backstory: I am an old, undead man whose wife is afraid of him and I need to catch her. I could see myself (well, my undead, dream self) in a mirror in a bathroom. The bathroom looked like my grandmother's, but nothing else did. Eventually, something happened and I was in front of the mirror again, but I looked like an Asian man. I said, "Wait, we're Asian now?" and, "Wait, am I dreaming again?" I plugged my nose and could still breathe (though it felt strange), so I knew I was dreaming. I closed my eyes and said, "Clean slate," and the dream world became a blank, white space. I closed my eyes and said my crush's name and she appeared. I immediately started having sex with her, but it felt strange. I felt detached. It didn't feel like I was *ahem* thrusting. In fact, the dream switched to third-person and ended quickly. Unfortunately, I wasn't tired enough to re-enter the dream.

Now, I'm not entirely sure this was a true lucid. I didn't feel truly concious and felt detached, as I said before. Also, the sex part didn't go as I had planned it; I had planned to do a bit of romance and foreplay, as opposed to mindlessly diving into it.

I think I either a.) was dreaming about being lucid or b.) attained lucidity, then lost it. Either way, it's progress!

Not sure if anyone has noticed, but I haven't been on lately. For whatever reason, my Xbox would become seriously slow whenever I came to DV, but it seems fine for now. My dreams haven't very noteworthy as of late, anyway.

Recently, I've become more tired at night (on account of waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning and attending school for 6.5 hours straight). I've noticed that, when I try to sleep in this state, I seem to experience HH. I sort of enter my own thoughts. I actually start seeing and hearing what I'm thinking. I tend drift in and out of this state for a while. I hope I'll be able to take advantage of this in the future.

I was pretty confused last night. When my WILD alarm went off, I could've sworn that I was already awake and that I hadn't slept at all. I shrugged it off and attemted a WILD/FILD, but I failed and ended up dreaming about spiders again. FML. I guess hordes of spiders is a new dream sign, lol.

I start school tomorrow. What does this mean for my lucid dreaming efforts? Now that I have an actual reason to get up in the morning, I'll be able to establish a regular sleeping schedule and better understand my sleeping patterns. This should make the whole process a hell of a lot easier.

I tried listening to this:



It's a binaural version of the video from before. I started to feel weightless and stayed that way for a while. After roughly 18 minutes, I eventually opened my eyes for whatever reason. I was only on the delta stage, so I couldn't dream right away. I'll try again in a few hours when I'm more tired.

I'm trying to use the following lucid induction video:



The video uses isochronic tones. The first part is meant to lull you into a deep sleep withthe isochronic version of delta binaural beats, eventually transitioning into a theta frequency. About 65 min. in, voices start saying, "This is a dream," "Perform a reality check," etc.

My first time around, I think lost conciousness for a moment, then started hearing noises. I remember hearing a dog barking, a door slamming, and footsteps. I performed a reality check, but I was fully concious. I'm unsure whether these sounds were part of the video (unlikely), hallucinations, or real noises. I think the third is most likely because a.) I was only about 12 min. into the video and b.) I live in an apartment complex where most people have dogs.

I've attempted this multiple times tonight. I think the problem is that the video is too short. I can't fall asleep quickly enough. If anyone has links to longer videos (on YouTube) that have worked for you, let me know.

Didn't go to sleep until about 5 a.m. Forgot my dream.

I'm going to bed at a normal time tonight.

I don't know if I slept last night. I've been having trouble with sleep for a while. I've tried drinking milk for the tryptophan, but it doesn't seem to affect me much.

During the schoolyear, I only got 4+ hours of sleep a night. Could it be that my body is so used to running on that that getting proper amounts of sleep is "overwhelming" it?

I also think excitement and enthusiasm play a part.

I was sitting here, bored and drowsy, so I decided to try doing an FILD. I lied down and started slightly flexing my index & middle fingers like you're supposed to. Not long after, I felt sorta weightless. It felt as though I or the bed were spinning in space. I tried a few RCs by trying to breathe through my nose whilst I pinched it shut. I was awake each time, but I'm sure I was on the verge of an LD. I even tried calling out my crush's name to see if she would appear. It all felt very strange.