Xanous' Dream Journal

#419 - DEILD - 5:25AM

WBTB @ 4AM 2TBS Coffee grounds, 3 TBSP Sugar, 1/4 cup milk

I feel pretty wide awake after drinking the coffee as if the caffeine takes effect right away. I have a hard time sleeping and the goddamned cats keep making noise in the other room. I spend the next hour or so in fitful dreamless sleep until toward the end. I have an upsetting dream where I am overly upset that my wife is keeping me awake and didn't set the alarm.

I wake up and notice that I am in vibrations already. I go ahead and do some phase cycles and when I get to the rolling one, I fall out of bed. I still feel some attachment to my waking body as is some kind of super stretchy tar is clinging to me. I hit the floor and let out a yell of delight. I don't recall the exact order of events during this initial phase, but I basically spend a lot of time enjoying the feeling of being a disembodied spirit floating around the bedroom doing various, random things. Everything is way too dark, but at one point I float to my closet, open the door and scream into hoping for something scary to be in there. Nothings shows up so I close the door and float back up. During most of this I am overly aware of the feeling of the silver cord holding me close to my physical body though I don't bother to visually confirm this — I really don't want to give it too much attention. I eventually make it out the front door in a blind rush, but feel a pull back to my body by means of the cord.

I do another quick DEILD and this time I am able to get up fairly easily. I think of the mirror TOTM and head to the bathroom. The dream starts to clarify and lighten up as I turn to look at my reflection. I look mostly like myself but I have my son's eyes and my hair is much longer. I spend a moment taking a long close look while chuckling to myself then dive right on in the mirror. There is some resistance, but I get in fairly easy. To my disappointment, I have entered the void. It's not that the dream has gone dark because I can hold my hands up and can see them just fine. I rush forward and grope around for something 'physical' in the void. My hands come across a strong feminine jawline. I feel the lips and kiss them as my hand works down to other parts. After a second I can clearly see this woman and she looks strangely familiar yet not familiar. I later realize she is a compilation of all my past lovers. I continue to make out with her/them, but I feel no real sexual stimulation and it all seems so wrong. However, I continue just for the purpose of stabilization. It's not long until something external wakes me up.