View Full Version : boys rule
jacobo
01-06-2004, 03:47 PM
:movingmrgreen:
Why Men Are Happier Than Women!
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
don't take this to heart ladies. i saw it and got a laugh out of it.
nightowl
01-06-2004, 06:40 PM
wow, you really thought about this, didn't you?
jacobo
01-06-2004, 06:58 PM
no no, i saw it somewhere and i put it onto my computer. i just found it today while cleaning out my files... i dont know where i got it from, but its not my handywork. just amusing
Seeker
01-06-2004, 07:00 PM
Oh my God!!!!
*Visions of death and destruction*
Let the flame war begin!!!!!
*puts on his asbestos fire suit*
jacobo
01-06-2004, 08:48 PM
now now now. i thought it was funny, if any women out there are truly offended by it ill take it down.
A Lost Soul
01-06-2004, 10:30 PM
1. We keep our last name.
This is true, except in a Pagan marriage. =P
2. The garage is all ours.
But once you’re married, by law she will own half. :D
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Aren’t bridesmaids and parents great?
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
Mmm… chocolate.http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/d/drool.gif
5. We can be president.
We have boobs.…
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
So can we. And we have boobs.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
Yeah, but they give us discounts.
8. The world is our urinal.
I can’t argue with that. I’ve been camping. Squatting behind a tree isn’t fun.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Would you put your rosy asscheeks on that filth?
10. Same work, more pay.
Uh-huh. But who can sleep their way to the top? http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/hump.gif
11. Wrinkles add character.
So do boobs.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
I’d like to argue with this, but the majority of women would pay a ridiculous amount for a dress they’ll only wear once, then toss in a closet to become dusty and yellowed. I don't really understand why...
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
So you think…
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Mmm. Belching. That’s sexy. (That’s sarcasm, by the way. Unless you’re Serinanth… he could scare a dragon.)
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
Lucky you…
16. One mood, ALL the time.
Ohhhh, so untrue. So untrue.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Another one I can’t answer for. I’m a bit phone-phobic, but my mother spends hours on the tele talking about absolutely nothing.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
They blow shit up. What else is there to know?
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Because we pack all the stuff you forgot. :-P
20. We can open all our own jars.
So can we. We just like making you do it.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
We get extra credit for having boobs.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
Again, I don’t know why women would alienate a friend for not inviting them to something. :whyme:
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Yeah, but ours get better reactions. :wink:
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
That’s because women need to alter themselves to live up to your Maxim-model fake expectations of what sexy is. :pissed:
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
They sure are.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Besides, there's a fifty-fifty chance of being wrong. Um... duh?
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
Yes, but you often suffer discombobulation of the junk (family jewels/the twins/whatever) and potential swamp ass.
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
We have boobs.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
:fro:
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
No, but for the love of god some of you should!
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
Men have hips? :-P
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
We have boobs.
33. We can \"do\" our nails with a pocket-knife.
We have boobs.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
And I have my freedom of choice—landing strip, hardwood floor, or unruly. :D
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
Walmart kicks ass for that reason. :goodjob2:
Disclaimer: The statements above are meant in jest and in no way reflect the true opinions of Lost Soul. Except for the one about Serinanth... he can belch so loud that the Canadians complain. :D
ShadowNightWing
01-06-2004, 10:41 PM
Talk about an Excellent Come Back A Lost Soul that was Great! Im Loving it I like the original piece done by adidas and the retaliation piece done by A Lost Soul. Im telling you this is true entertainment at it's best here. This is Better than Watching Sports Center!
Serinanth
01-06-2004, 11:12 PM
BWHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA ROFLMA
that was awsome!
mmm boobies...
Lol *wonders how many got the landingstrip/hardwood/unruly comment*
http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/rofl.gif
Lowercase Society
01-07-2004, 03:27 AM
yeah...they have boobs man, and i gotta say i love 'em.
Blessed is she who clearly sees the wood for the trees.
To obtain a ‘bird’s eye’ is to turn a blizzard into a breeze.[/b]
Seeker
01-07-2004, 05:43 AM
Boobs are cool, but there is a good reason men don't have them....
We wouldn't get anything done at all during the day! Too busy playing with them, or admiring them...
Wish I had boobs. Is there such a thing as breast envy?
A Lost Soul
01-07-2004, 05:54 AM
Originally posted by Seeker
Wish I had boobs. Is there such a thing as breast envy?
Yep. I suffer from it.
Seeker
01-07-2004, 06:01 AM
Originally posted by A Lost Soul+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(A Lost Soul)</div><!--QuoteBegin-Seeker
Wish I had boobs. Is there such a thing as breast envy?
Yep. I suffer from it.[/b]
You sound like my wife!!!
She is a very respectable 36A. I have no complaints!!!
A Lost Soul
01-07-2004, 06:51 AM
I want to hug every man on this earth that says "More than a handful is a waste". They do wonders for the self-esteem.
will.i.am
01-07-2004, 08:35 AM
More than a handful is a waste :wink:
A Lost Soul
01-07-2004, 09:12 AM
Originally posted by will.i.am
More than a handful is a waste :wink:
WOOHOO! http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/hug.gif
Seeker
01-07-2004, 10:37 AM
Originally posted by A Lost Soul
I want to hug every man on this earth that says \"More than a handful is a waste\". They do wonders for the self-esteem.
Where's mine? Oh, maybe you are waiting to sneak up on me some night :) :D :) ???
Blake
01-07-2004, 10:49 AM
boobs yeah...peaches are perferct
Kaniaz
01-07-2004, 10:53 AM
RED DWARF EPISODE QUOTE THING!
Episode 8-(something): Krytie TV
Kryten: Welcome to Women's Shower Night Live!
(all the prisoners suddenly cheer)
(pictures of women appear in the shower)
Cat: They really gonna show this? No way, this is a joke right? (face suddenly changes) Oh...momma
Lister: You know what this means don't yeh?
Cat: There is a god?
The talk about boobs just reminded me of it.[/quote]
nightowl
01-07-2004, 12:41 PM
Originally posted by adidas
now now now. i thought it was funny, if any women out there are truly offended by it ill take it down.
Oh, sorry, I thought you made it up. My bad :P
Lost soul, you're comments are clever and hilarious :chuckle:
Lowercase Society
01-07-2004, 01:07 PM
yeah i hate HUGE breasts, the ones where you look for them and you are already lost in them...its so disgusting. :barf:
I’d like to close my eyes and go numb but there’s a cold wind *
Coming from the top of the highest high rise today. *
Its not a breeze cause it blows hard, yes and it wants me to discard the humanity I know, watch the warmth blow away.[/b]
Serinanth
01-10-2004, 06:32 PM
I wouldent say disgusting, well... I have seen some huge melons that were kinda gross I will spare the details...But I have also seen NATURAL!!! big bewbies that were verah nice =) The fake ones are just.. lil too fake for me.
I do prefer midsized myself, I think actually that playboy said somewhere that the perfect boob was somewhere around the B sizes, I would have to agree =)
hysteria
01-10-2004, 06:49 PM
men. :roll:
:lol:
Philosophacles
01-10-2004, 11:14 PM
I hate my sex strive. And "we have boobs" was a completely irrelevent justification to many of the things you were trying to prove wrong. I am not much of a boob guy, more for the personality...and a nice ass.
A Lost Soul
01-11-2004, 12:14 AM
Originally posted by Philosophacles
And \"we have boobs\" was a completely irrelevent justification to many of the things you were trying to prove wrong.
Um... it was meant to be funny.
su-chan
01-11-2004, 01:29 AM
So, Lost Soul, tell us how you really feel about having boobs. ^_~
WerBurN
01-11-2004, 01:36 AM
mmm....booooooobs :D
su-chan
01-11-2004, 01:38 AM
Originally posted by WerBurN
mmm....booooooobs :D
-_-
A Lost Soul
01-11-2004, 01:54 AM
Originally posted by su-chan
So, Lost Soul, tell us how you really feel about having boobs. ^_~
I have boobs? More like mosquito bites... :cry: DAMN YOU GENE POOL! I swear as soon as I strike it rich, I'm buying myself a nice set of hooters.
su-chan
01-11-2004, 01:55 AM
Originally posted by A Lost Soul+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(A Lost Soul)</div><!--QuoteBegin-su-chan
So, Lost Soul, tell us how you really feel about having boobs. ^_~
I have boobs? More like mosquito bites... :cry: DAMN YOU GENE POOL! I swear as soon as I strike it rich, I'm buying myself a nice set of hooters.[/b]
XD I'll trade you. Mine get in the way. :D not that they're a 'nice set of hooters', or even huge, they're just... in the way. :/
A Lost Soul
01-11-2004, 01:58 AM
Originally posted by su-chan+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(su-chan)</div>Originally posted by A Lost Soul@
<!--QuoteBegin-su-chan
So, Lost Soul, tell us how you really feel about having boobs. ^_~
I have boobs? More like mosquito bites... :cry: DAMN YOU GENE POOL! I swear as soon as I strike it rich, I'm buying myself a nice set of hooters.
XD I'll trade you. Mine get in the way. :D not that they're a 'nice set of hooters', or even huge, they're just... in the way. :/[/b]
YES! PLEASE! :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: Pity the Willow, for she was born with a very small rack. *sniffle* *sob* :cry:
su-chan
01-11-2004, 01:59 AM
WOO! Here you go. *hands over teh bewbz*
Lowercase Society
01-11-2004, 08:50 AM
*cough* PAPERDOLL *cough*
what about you? haha :lol:
Philosophacles
01-11-2004, 03:31 PM
I know, i was being seriously funny, its a much hated form of comedy. Damn the boobs and their mind control.
WerBurN
01-13-2004, 08:35 PM
lol Su-chan...im sitting here trying to imagine what you would look like w/o yer boobz...roflmao jus makes me laugh, like omg funny :rolllaugh:
su-chan
01-13-2004, 09:05 PM
Originally posted by WerBurN
lol Su-chan...im sitting here trying to imagine what you would look like w/o yer boobz...roflmao jus makes me laugh, like omg funny :rolllaugh:
... o_O
Should I be disturbed? O.o I mean, it's disturbing enough that you can picture what I look like with them. Bad! You shouldn't be looking at your female friends' chests! :o (even though it's probably scientifically proven that tits have a visual magnetic field that pulls male eyes in, or something.)
jacobo
01-13-2004, 10:12 PM
i have a question for the ladies here... is it normal to have lop-sided boobs? i had a girlfriend a while ago with one that was a little bigger than the other. granted she was 16 and still growing... but is that normal?
ShadowNightWing
01-13-2004, 10:20 PM
Ummmmmmm... :goodjob2: :holyshit: :makeitstop:
jacobo
01-13-2004, 10:29 PM
hey now, don't knock it until you've tried it my friend... she was a nice girl. :wink:
jacobo
01-13-2004, 10:30 PM
Originally posted by adidas
i have a question for the ladies here... is it normal to have lop-sided boobs? i had a girlfriend a while ago with one that was a little bigger than the other. granted she was 16 and still growing... but is that normal?
also, i was 16 at the time so there no child nastyness going on here.
ShadowNightWing
01-13-2004, 10:39 PM
Oh okay I was kinda worried there. For a second I thought you were related to Mike.
su-chan
01-13-2004, 10:43 PM
Originally posted by adidas
i have a question for the ladies here... is it normal to have lop-sided boobs? i had a girlfriend a while ago with one that was a little bigger than the other. granted she was 16 and still growing... but is that normal?
Yes. It's normal. We don't all have perfect 36DD's, after all, and we're all different, etc, etc.
Seeker
01-14-2004, 09:47 AM
Don't forget the ravages of childbirth, nursing can cause them to get lopsides also.
Poor Lost Soul... Last time I heard, you can get a set for around $3K.
But, please, be happy with yourself. OK?
A Lost Soul
01-14-2004, 11:03 AM
:lol: $3k, eh? That's a lot cheaper than the last price I've heard. Is that just for one or both? LOL.
Actually, I've come a long way from the self-loather I used to be. I used to hate myself so badly that I would cut into my skin because I was so disgusted with my own body. That was a long time ago, though. Now I can actually look in a mirror and say "Well, I'm no supermodel, but I'm me and I guess that's not bad." Still, in all seriousness, I wouldn't mind adding at least a cup size to my current bust to balance my proportions a bit better. But I don't know. I'll never be able to afford it and insurance obviously doesn't cover it. So for now, I'll just keep working out and get to know me.
Seeker
01-14-2004, 11:18 AM
Originally posted by A Lost Soul
So for now, I'll just keep working out and get to know me.
I like that! I'm a little on the strange side (by popular measures), but am really happy with who (or what?) I am!
Lowercase Society
01-14-2004, 01:07 PM
36DD's.
thats fuckin nasty...ahhhhhhh, bad mental picture, excuse me while i throw up all over my computer and then electricute myself, and die.
You saw me lost and treading water, I looked pathetic,
I looked as helpless as a stinger without a bee.
[/b]
Philosophacles
01-14-2004, 05:48 PM
you are excused.
WerBurN
01-14-2004, 06:38 PM
small boobs are better than big boobs! so sayeth WerBurN!!!!!!
...on a side note i have a funny story about how i ended up dating someone who was 4 years younger than me...while that deosnt sound like too big a deal it is when shes 13...anywho thats enough about that roflmao
A Lost Soul
03-16-2004, 12:10 PM
I am so bumping this up for the amusement of the noobs who may have missed it before. :D
jacobo
03-16-2004, 12:57 PM
:bigteeth:
ffx-dreamz
03-16-2004, 01:16 PM
I missed it, the last post was before I even joined. :D
Lomebririon
03-17-2004, 04:34 PM
Boobs are teh r0xx0r. ;)
dougdrums
03-17-2004, 04:58 PM
Yes, teh b00bz0rz cookass. Just remember: they are for the flavour, not the whole damn meal.
munkle
03-18-2004, 06:33 PM
You know, I friend of mine the exact same thing about not having boobs. He said if he had them he wouldn't ever go anywhere cause he'd be too busy playing with them...I didn't think I'd ever see someone else say almost the exact same thing.
Bigs boobs are sort of scary sometimes though...You'd fall in and get trapped or something...
ffx-dreamz
03-18-2004, 06:36 PM
lol get trapped. :lol:
vBulletin® v3.6.9, Copyright ©2000-2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.