A Joke By Tom

[Tom_Peace]

Why did the girl fall off her bike?






















Because someone threw a fridge at her,
hahahahahahahahahahah :rolllaugh: :pirate:

[Alex D]

I love it.








...sadly that's pretty much my sense of humour in a nutshell.

[Tom_Peace]

I heard that a long time ago and it is one of the best jokes I have ever heard.

[Tom_Peace]

By the way, look at this pirate :pirate: hahahaha he shouts "ahoy ahoy" every few seconds hahahahaha,

[Burns]

Originally posted by Tom_Peace
Why did the girl fall off her bike?


Because someone threw a fridge at her,
hahahahahahahahahahah :rolllaugh: :pirate:

LOL - you're a crack up!

[Tom_Peace]

bahahahaaha awwww :D

[mongreloctopus]

am i missing something?

[Tom_Peace]

Well that is up to you.

[Gwendolyn]

I=love that joke

[Oneironaut]

Hahahaha!!!!!!!!
OH MAN GOOD ONE!
I mean seriously A Fridge!! Who saw that comin?! I sure as hell didn't!!!

Roflmfaololbwuahameh!!!!!!! :lolxtreme:

:P

[Distant Clone]

It reminds me of a similar joke that makes me laugh pretty hard.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

[mongreloctopus]

how many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?



































































a fish!

[CryoDragoon]

*
PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:46 am * *Post subject:
how many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?


a fish![/b]

oh, of course! :doh:

[Tom_Peace]

What is white and can't climbs trees?
























A washing machine.

[Starlite]

a friend emailed this one to me a few days ago.


A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was
climbing into bed when his
wife complained as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect timing," her husband said." I was just in
the bathroom powdering my
penis with asprin. You can take it orally, or as a
suppository, it's up to
you."

[Tom_Peace]

hmm indeed

[Gwendolyn]

Originally posted by Starlite
a friend emailed this one to me a few days ago.


A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was
climbing into bed when his
wife complained as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect timing," her husband said." I was just in
the bathroom powdering my
penis with asprin. You can take it orally, or as a
suppository, it's up to
you."

LOL

[Dangeruss]

hahaha!

Life is just one big non-sequitor after catfish.

I've told this one before but I love it:
What did the kid in the wheelchair get for christmas? CANCER!

ahahahahahaha!!!

[Starlite]

*spanks russ*

bad russ...bad, bad
;)

[Dangeruss]

oh-la-la!

[kage]

Jesus calls all his Apostles together up in heaven to discuss what they are going to do about the rampant drug use down on Earth. After considering many different possibilites, they decide that the best way to solve the problem is to go down to Earth, buy all the drugs themselves, and bring them back up to heaven. If they buy all the drugs and bring them to heaven, there will be none left for people on Earth to buy, thus solving the drug problem. So, they all go their separate ways and a few days later, the Apostles start showing up at the Pearly Gates.

First is Simon Peter.

Jesus says, "Hi Simon Peter, what'd you bring back?"

"Cocaine from Bolivia."

"Excellent! Come on in."

Then comes John.

"Hi John, what'd you bring back?"

"Opium from Afghanistan."

"Great! Come on in."

"Hi James, what'd you bring back?"

"Marijuana from Colombia."

"Wonderful! Come on in."

It continues like this, until 11 of the 12 have returned. There is one last knock on the Gates . . .

"Hi Judas. What'd you bring back?"

"The FBI!! Everybody against the wall!!"

[Beef Jerky]

OK heres one. 3 tourists get taken hostage by a group of crazy canibal people whilst trekking in the forest. They say you must collect 10 fruit of the asme type and bring them back. they set off to find the fruit. the first one arrives with apples. the cannibal says "shove it up your rectum without showing the tiniest speck of emotion... and we'll let you go... he gets the first one... the second... but on the third he screams out in pain... he gets killed... the second guy returns... with berries... he get then all up until the 9th... when he cracks up laughing. the 2 meet in heaven and the first asks, why did you laugh? you were so close! then the second guy replies "i saw the other guy coming with pineapples"

heres another.


whats brown, starts with n and wears thongs?


























LEMONS!

[Alex D]

What do you call a man in a dress?


































His name.

[Leo Volont]

I don't get it.

[Led]

Originally posted by Leo Volont
I don't get it.
:shock:
Where is the 5-paragraph essay on why you don't get it?

[Dangeruss]

Originally posted by ledzeppelin

:shock: *
Where is the 5-paragraph essay on why you don't get it?

har har har!!

[Leo Volont]

Originally posted by ledzeppelin

:shock: *
Where is the 5-paragraph essay on why you don't get it?

Actually, a classical essay requires only three paragraphs -- a peroration, an explication, and a conclusion -- additional paragraphs do sometimes pile up during the explication phase -- but I ordinarily save such essays for when I understand the thing I am speaking of, and not for when I do not.

[Led]

Originally posted by Leo Volont


Actually, a classical essay requires only three paragraphs -- a peroration, an explication, and a conclusion -- additional paragraphs do sometimes pile up during the explication phase -- but I ordinarily save such essays for when I understand the thing I am speaking of, and not for when I do not.
oh, my bad.
What don't you get?

[Leo Volont]

Originally posted by ledzeppelin

oh, my bad.
What don't you get?

I didn't get "Why did the girl fall off her bike? A guy threw a fridge at her."

Yes, it would seem reasonable that a refrigerator thrown into the path of her bicycle could upset her, but I don't see what would be particularly hilarious about the prospect.

I once read an essay by a frenchman who supposed that there are two basic causes for humor -- ambiguity and reminders of mortality and the animal nature vs. humanity's spiritual pretentions.

Now, there is hardly anything ambiguous about a refrigerator being tossed in the way of a bicyclist. And, yes, although one might worry a bit about the lady's mortality, well, she had only fallen down, and with very little embarrassment to her spirituality.

So, as I said before, I don't get it.

[Tom_Peace]

awwwwwwwwww Leo Volont you are so cute :)

[Leo Volont]

Oh, regarding the Frenchman's definition of humor given above (...I once read an essay by a frenchman who supposed that there are two basic elements for humor -- ambiguity and reminders of mortality and the animal nature vs. humanity's spiritual pretentions. )... in that sense, there is one joke I remember that is almost a perfect textbook example -- the Smart Pill Joke.

One of Little Johnny's friends complained that he was losing priveleges at home because he was not doing well enough in school and wished he were smarter. Well, Little Johnny suggested Smart Pills, and his little friend enthusiastically agreed with the prescription and asked Johnny if he had any Smart Pills on hand. Well, Johnny excused himself and thought for a few moments and went off to Rabbit Cages out in the back and gathered up some small round rabbit turds and put them in a small bottle and labeled the Bottle "Smart Pills". Taking them back to his friend, the friend immediately swallowed down four or five of that at once. Looking puzzled and bewildered, he told Johnny, "Is something wrong with these pills... they taste like shit." And Johnny says, "Well, you're getting smarter already".

The element of ambiguity is contained where the rabbit turds are both Smart Pills and rabbit turds simultaneously. The sense of mortality and frustrated spirituality is presented in the desire of the one young boy to be smarter and wiser, but is frustrated by being fed the most material of materials --- Poop. So, we get a textbook Ha Ha Ha.

[Led]

Well, I find that the real basic source of humor is suprise. The joke about the girl falling off her bike is alot like the classic "why did the chicken cross the road?" joke. It makes you think for some reason for the girl to fall off her bike, but you are thinking too hard. The refrigerator is totaly unexpected.

"Yesterday I told a chicken to coss the road. It said,'what for?'"

[wasup]

:rolllaugh:

Oh god... this thread is great thanks to Leo.


I didn't get "Why did the girl fall off her bike? *A guy threw a fridge at her." *

Yes, it would seem reasonable that a refrigerator thrown into the pathof her bicycle could upset her, but I don't see what would beparticularly hilarious about the prospect.
...
Now, there is hardly anything ambiguous about a refrigerator being tossed in the way of a bicyclist. And, yes, although one might worry a bit about the lady's mortality, well, she had only fallen down, and with very little embarrassment to her spirituality[/b]

[Tom_Peace]

Well Leo you certainly are Mr fancy pants now aren't you? :) I love you too, Leo Volont.

[Ubik]

Found this on the net.... laughed

My First Time Ever

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All Alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.

Her hair is soft
Her legs are fine
I run my fingers
Down her spine
I didn¹t know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hand on her breast.

I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
When slowly
She spread her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All of the sudden
The white stuff came. . .

I finally finished
It¹s all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow.

























































:dancingcow:

[halfasked1]

Why did the dead baby cross the road?















































Because it was stapled to a chicken!
:imslow: