Game: How Do You Get Out Of The Jam?

[BohmaN]

Ok I'm bored so I'm going to play a game with you DV people :)

This is how it works:

Person one comes up with a jam and asks "what do you do?" and it's up to next person to say how he would have solved the situation. And then the person who answered comes up with another jam and so on.

I hope you understand :)

Ok so I'll start:

You're on your first date with your dream girl at her place. You're on the bathroom and you're having the trots, and when you finally finish you notice that there's no toilet paper left, what do you do? ;>

[Artelis]

tissues? Maybe some paper. Wipe it with your underwear and toss em out the window!

You're catching up with your mom at a resturaunt and a girl you had a one night stand with starts to walk towards you looking rather pissed off. What do you do?!

[TweaK]

I run my ass off. I hide - my mom can wait, I'm scared.

You really like this girl (and you want a serious relationship with her), and you're invited to her place. You have to take a piss, and she told you the toilet upstairs was clogged, but you forgot. You flush and the toilet floods, a lot - and I mean a lot of toilet water + piss is on the floor now. What do you do? :|

[NeAvO]

You grab her pet hamster and use it as a mop.

So you're in a really big school doing a presentation in front of thousands of people and you don't feel very well, infact you feel like you're going to throw up, and you know that if you open your mouth you will most likely do just that. It's your turn to talk. What do you do?

[TweaK]

I wouldn't talk. I'd probably go to the bathroom to induce a nice puking session, then go back when I feel better.

You're caught masturbating, oh sh-- What do you do?

[Artelis]

I wouldn't talk. I'd probably go to the bathroom to induce a nice puking session, then go back when I feel better.

You're caught masturbating, oh sh-- What do you do?
[/b]
splooge all over them.

You find a possibly decent thread going down hill. What do you do?

[BLUELINE976]

Spam it more.

You wake up on a nice warm morning, the sun is shining, and you felt like you had the perfect, uninterrupted night. You roll over to get out of bed and feel a warm, squishy mess in your pants. What do you do?

P.S - Unfortunately, that jam actually happened.

[Marvo]

Go to the bathroom with another pair of underwear, get a bath and then just return to normal rutine.

XXYou open your mouth anyway, and hope that you don't puke. Once youve had your speech, all the preasure will disappear and you'll feel fine again. It's just a matter about getting started.XX


(male jam)
You're sitting in a very crowded bus, and you have to get of the bus. Due to the bus bumbling around, you get a hard-on. People are watching you, since they noticed you pressing the stop-button. If you get up and leave the bus, people will see you and laugh, and you'll most likely stumble into somebody. If you don't get up, you'll have to walk 5kilometers home.
What do you do?

Edit: You ninjaed me >:(

[BLUELINE976]

Answer mine, then Marvo's.

[TweaK]

Go with the flow, help it going down. In fact, I'll give it a little push.*

You walk on the street and suddenly see a gang of "gangstahs" pulling knives and stabbing someone, lying there to die. Afraid to run over there and go "Stop it, yada yada", you wait until they leave. You run up there and shit, it's a family member. You try to call an emergency number but your prepaid account is empty and noone is around. The guy dies. Later in a family meeting, everything is being discussed, and someone comes up with "Hey, weren't you there when it happened, why didn't you stop them?", and all eyes are on you. What do you do?

* Subtle hint, Artelis.

[Pastro]

Tell em what happened, and that because of my actions there wasn't two deaths in the family.


You fail an exam which just pushes your mark down to a fail. Your teacher [opposite sex from answerer] offers to pass you if you pleasure them. What do you do?

[Artelis]

Go with the flow, help it going down. In fact, I'll give it a little push.*

You walk on the street and suddenly see a gang of "gangstahs" pulling knives and stabbing someone, lying there to die. Afraid to run over there and go "Stop it, yada yada", you wait until they leave. You run up there and shit, it's a family member. You try to call an emergency number but your prepaid account is empty and noone is around. The guy dies. Later in a family meeting, everything is being discussed, and someone comes up with "Hey, weren't you there when it happened, why didn't you stop them?", and all eyes are on you. What do you do?

* Subtle hint, Artelis.
[/b]
whip out my mac10 and give them a go round.

You're being slapped around by a wet salmon by the most annoying guy in the world. You're already on strike 2. What do you do?


Tell em what happened, and that because of my actions there wasn't two deaths in the family.
You fail an exam which just pushes your mark down to a fail. Your teacher [opposite sex from answerer] offers to pass you if you pleasure them. What do you do?
[/b]
contract AIDS. Pass. Repeat.

[TweaK]

Next time he tries to slap me, I grab the salmon and stab him in IN THE FAEC.

You fail an exam which just pushes your mark down to a fail. Your teacher [same sex of answerer] offers to pass you if you pleasure them. What do you do?

[BohmaN]

An exam isn't that important that you'd do such a thing, so I'd say "screw you".

Suddenly you realize that the walls are approaching you slowly and you're likely to be mashed like a bug, so you're struck with panic as you know it's likely that you're going to die soon. Inventiveness is a must. What do you do?

[TweaK]

I die with inventiveness because you said that's a must. I could've probably escaped, but you said I had to die with inventiveness. Thanks, asshole.

Same question as my previous exam one.

[Artelis]

contract AIDS. Pass. Repeat.

[Marvo]

Record it and tell the school leader thing, that their teachers are incompitent, and that you want another try.

You fall of an edge, completely naked, and there is 500feet to the ground. The ground is entirely made of solid rock. What do you do?

[Artelis]

Record it and tell the school leader thing, that their teachers are incompitent, and that you want another try.

You fall of a ledge, completely naked, and there are 500feet to the ground. The ground is entirely made of solid rock. What do you do?
[/b]
something grotesque and uncalled for.

*insert pointless situation only to wait for even more pointless reply* what do you do?

[TweaK]

*insert pointless answer that includes some form of being naked*

*insert question I can't be assed to think of* - What do you do?

[BohmaN]

But I didn't say you had to die only that it was very likely and you had to be inventive so you'd find a way to get yourself out of the jam :)

btw this thread is growing with incredible speed what I refered to here was like 5 posts before.

[Marvo]

I shoot the dog with the BFG-9000, fuck the hooker do death and run over the 20 police-men with my car.

You meet Artelis on the street. What do you do?

[Artelis]

*insert pointless answer that includes some form of being naked*

*insert question I can't be assed to think of* - What do you do?
[/b]
STOP HIJACKING THE THREAD!

[TweaK]

NO U

[Artelis]

NO U
[/b]
I'M SICK OF YOUR ANTICS! GO BE A PRETENTIOUS ASS-HOLE SOMEWHERE ELSE.

edit: NO U

[TweaK]

MY ANTICS? YOUR CRAZY BEHAVIOUR IS WHAT'S CAUSING ALL THIS, YOU CUNTSOCK

AND
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e107/nitr/eb1a46a8.gif

[BohmaN]

Marvo, saying hello politely and keep walking.

A swarm of bees is after you what do you do?

[TweaK]

I run, I run, I RUN! WHY WOULD I STAY STILL?

Your thread is hijacked, what do you do?

[Marvo]

Eat them.

You meet Artelis and TWeaK on the street, and they recognise you. They start walking towards you with angry faces. What do you do?
Now, I'll be inovative and make some answers, that you can use.

A) Suggest having a big sex-orgy.

B) Take of all your clothes and throw shit at them.

C) Hide behind a tree, pretending you're having a piss.

[Artelis]

MY ANTICS? YOUR CRAZY BEHAVIOUR IS WHAT'S CAUSING ALL THIS, YOU CUNTSOCK

AND
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e107/nitr/eb1a46a8.gif
[/b]
http://artelis.byethost18.com/images/1174084032021.jpg

[TweaK]

[image]
[/b]
http://shiz.demonation.net/GTFO.jpg

[Artelis]

[image]
[/b]
http://artelis.byethost18.com/images/1174063540276.jpg

[Pastro]

Marvo, a little bit of A and B.

You wake up with a hangover and a horse in your bed. You hear the doorbell and at the door is the stable owner who knows you stole the horse and he wants it back. What do you do?

[TweaK]

[image]
[/b]
http://shiz.demonation.net/topic.jpg

@Pastro
I ask if he joins in on the fun.

[Artelis]

This thread is a
http://artelis.byethost18.com/images/1174071629309.jpg

[TweaK]

This thread is a
[img]
[/b]
http://shiz.demonation.net/gay.jpg
And that's a fact.

[Artelis]

This thread is now a bible fight.
http://artelis.byethost18.com/images/bible.jpg

[TweaK]

Oh shit, due to a lack of bibles I present to you a man with a mustache!
http://shiz.demonation.net/mustache.jpg

[Artelis]

HE SPEAKS!
http://artelis.byethost18.com/images/zip%20zop.jpg

[BohmaN]

wtf happened to my thread :D

Ok: Your mom tells you she was extremely dunk last night and she fucked you while you slept and now she says she's pragnent, what do you do?

[Developer]

wtf happened to my thread :D

Ok: Your mom tells you she was extremely dunk last night and she fucked you while you slept and now she says she's pragnent, what do you do?
[/b]

Oh, shit. I commit suicide.

You're 1 hour late for a date, what's your excuse?

[TweaK]

"Uh, the bridge was open. No? I missed the train? Uhh...". If that doesn't work, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

You're on the internet and suddenly someone asks you a/s/l. What do you do in this infuriating life threatening situation?

[Burns]

You're on the internet and suddenly someone asks you a/s/l. What do you do in this infuriating life threatening situation?[/b]
Give them TweaK's a/s/l. :P

Your neighbor's young daughter's pet rabbit died. They buried it in their backyard. A week later, your dog brings you a very dirty dead rabbit. What do you do?

[Kaniaz]

Bury it a-

http://i17.tinypic.com/33kggnd.jpg

[The Blue Meanie]

Your neighbor's young daughter's pet rabbit died. They buried it in their backyard. A week later, your dog brings you a very dirty dead rabbit. What do you do?[/b]
Try to sell it on Ebay as a mumified indian sacrificial hare.

When your parents are away for the weekend, you sneak into your parents room to watch their bigscreen TV and drink their alcohol, but after opening the dresser to find their alcohol stash, you instead find eleven pairs of edible panties, fluffy handcuffs, and a wide assortment of equally disturbing things. What do you do to hide your embarassment when your parents get home?

[Lucky27]

Snack on the underoos while watching their T.V. Then replace what you took with IOUs.


You're driving in dry country when you throw a cigarette out the window. Minutes later, after checking the rearview mirror you see the pillars of smoke and 20' flames.

edited for spellig misteaks

[Kamikaze]

I would get the fuck outta there!




You went to a party got drunk and managed to get a girl pregnant. What do you do?

[Burns]

You went to a party got drunk and managed to get a girl pregnant. What do you do?[/b]
Go on Maury and insist I'm not the 'baby daddy'!

You just get your driver's license, borrow your dad's new car, and it gets keyed at a friend's out-of-hand party. What do you do?

[NeAvO]

Drive the car in a river and send your dad a "Help I'm being held hostage" letter.

You're going out with some friends and while you're drunk you accidentally take a one way ticket to another country, with no luggage or money. Oh and you wake up with a hang over in the other country. What do you do?

[Pastro]

I get ahold of the Canadian embasy, hopefully they can help. You wake up in a strangers house and your tied up to a chair, what do you do?

[BohmaN]

Shout for help for about 1 h and then when my voice is gone I'd just fall aleep and LD my what outtah there.

You are in the desert chatting with your dream girl you like so much and when you're about to decide when to meat and have ultrasupermega wonderful sex 2k and you're really eager to meet this girl. And then your computer explodes and there's no way of communicating whatsoever nearby and she'll probably think you didn't care about her. What do you do?

[Marvo]

That makes no sense at all.

[krookedking]

You don't do anything, tough luck.
If you're dying in a street and someone comes by and says :"see you later alligator", what do you do (apart from dying) ?

[BohmaN]

scream loudly

You're stuck with 100 old horny grandmothers inside some narrow place, what do you do?

[Developer]

Make the best of it.

You're getting slightly addicted to lucid dreaming, what do you do?

[NeAvO]

Become insomniac.

You're in a car accident and your friend is stuck. You know the car will blow up with in minutes. You know you have a 50/50 chance of saving your friend, or dying. What do you do?

[BohmaN]

it'a a fifty-fifty percent chance what I'd do. If you'd say that it was 51 percent chance of saving my friend and 49 on me dying, I'd go inside and save my friend. And now I'd probably do nothing in complete confusion and thus let my friend die.

You are addicted to everything in the world what do you do?

[Ne-yo]

Edit: Lost my spot

Get a spaceship and give another world a shot.

You wake up to realize that you are now 9 years old again and everything you've experienced in life has all been a dream what do you do?

[Lucky27]

Use the extra knowledge to my advantage. Can you say, "nine-year-old college student?"

You're riding in an airplane. The captain announces that his ship is about to go down. You crash in the middle of the ocean, everyone gets out unscathed. But now you're all disoriented and stranded on your floatie cushions.

[Pastro]

Kill a very hairy man and then use his hair to form a lasso, I then loop[catch] a seagle and attach the hair to my cushion, it brings me to safety.

You wake up in another household and they treat you as a member of their family, when you leave to go see your real family they do not recognize you. What do you do?

[BohmaN]

let them get to know me again !

You're stuck in a chest deep on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. All you have is a knife but if you open the chest you're likely to get crushed due to high pressure or perhaps you'll drown. What do you do?

[FreshBrains]

Uh, kill myself? There's no way out of that one.

After a night of drinking, you wake up hungover in a dark Cuban warehouse. A very, very large Cuban man is naked behind you, grinning. What do you do?

[Kaniaz]

Kill myself?

[Neruo]

Kill myself?
[/b]

Yes.

-

You find a wallet, and it is full of pictures of children in cages and an I.D. that just screams 'pedophile' , and also there is 2000 dollars in it. Call the police? What you do you?

[Goldney]

Take the money, call the police and then leave the wallet in a place where I told them to find it.

... That or kill myself.

You're at a dinner party (a posh one) and you have a little accident and piss yourself. What do you do?

[Kaniaz]

I'm pretty sure the answer is "kill myself".

[Pastro]

You wake up in your bed and go to the bathroom, about to do your buisness you realize your sexual organs were changed[male to female, vice versa]. What do you do?

[BohmaN]

masturbate all day. and if I get too depressed I'd change gender.

Your find out your mom is a webcam girl, what do you do?

[13redfan]

Your find out your mom is a webcam girl, what do you do?
[/b]
Ugh. That's horrible. Record the videos of her shows, and use it as serious blackmail.

You're dancing in a club when you notice a really hot girl. You go over to say hello, when you feel a cool breeze down below, and she says "You have a hole in your pants. I can see your penis." What do you do?

[Lemonsoul]

Say something like "Well it IS a pretty big hole." or "And it can see you!"

Red pill or blue pill?

[arby]

Just a second, i gotta ask my phamasist

Your country starts a war with another country. MAD is almost 100%. What do you do? =P

[Developer]

I go with the flow.

You're horny, what do you do?

[BohmaN]

Masturbate or if I'd have a girl I'd have sex.

You come home one day and find your house burnt down, what do you do?

[Developer]

Masturbate or if I'd have a girl I'd have sex.
[/b]

Wow, I admire your creativity :roll:

[ExoByte]

:hijack:

Step out of the thread... and no one gets hurt.

[bro]

Don't step out of the thread? :shock:


You have an erection that scores a 9.7 on the bonerometer while in a women's workout session you decided to go to. Every female there wears tight sweatpants. You could have sworn the blonde in far left corner just winked at you, and your boner just gets bigger.

What to do?

[BohmaN]

Why is the thread jacked?

bonerometer hahah :D

Hmm... If I feel really confident I'd approach her and ask her if she'd like to have sex with me, and if I'm not I'd discreetly find my way to the bathroom and masturbate my hornyness out of me.

You and a very hot girl you don't know are stuck in an elevator and the oxygen level is getting low. You're likely to die pretty soon, and having sex would just make you die faster. You have no way of communicating whatsoever. You've hit the emergency button but nobody has come yet. What do you do?

[Led]

THE CAN CAN

You are walking back to your car after a night out, you see several suspicious looking large men with various sharp objects approaching you. then you realize, you locked your keys in the car (you frickin retard). What doest thou deu?

[bro]

Masturbate :), and then hit them with your hard penis until they run with fear

[Led]

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

OK since you failed to make a new jam...
You are covered in strawberry Jelly from head to toe and you are in a room wsith many biscuits (for you crazy brits'n such I mean things similar to scones) unfortunaly there is a alligator guarding the biscuits. What doest thou deu?

[bro]

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

OK since you failed to make a new jam...
You are covered in strawberry Jelly from head to toe and you are in a room wsith many biscuits (for you crazy brits'n such I mean things similar to scones) unfortunaly there is a alligator guarding the biscuits. What doest thou deu?
[/b]

Excuse me. I didn't act that way to you, so please restrain your emotions, and act kindly.

[Led]

Excuse me. I didn't act that way to you, so please restrain your emotions, and act kindly. [/b]
I didn't mean it too seriously It's just what I thought when I saw that post. I actualy did find it humourous Btw please get out of the JAM!

[bro]

Live without your jelly and buiscuits and run like hell.

You are in a bathroom at your girlfriends house, who has 7 friends over. The dirty toilet begins to boil over, and spills all over the floor. The girls call you in a sexy voice to sit in between them at the same moment

[Led]

hmmm tough one well she has 7 friends over...
Sit between them if your girlfriend asks about the toilet blame it on one of her ridiculously hot friends.

You wake up to find your ears have been glued together with crazy glue. What doest thou deu?

[NeAvO]

This thread is a pervert's dream come true.

[bro]

Dunk my head in acid, and pull them apart with brute force, with blood-curdling screams.

You are on an airplane with an extrememly hot woman, the plane is going down, and there is 1 parachute. For some reason it is only you and her. She says "If you let me jump with the parachute, i'll grab you on the way down", "and If you trust me I'll let you fu*k me any way you want forever when we get down.


What do you do?

[Burns]

Slap her in the face, push her out of the way, and tell her that I don't swing that way. Then I grab the parachute and jump, lazily smiling and waving at her on my descent.

After refilling your mini propane tank, you realize there is a leak in the valve of the large tank. You can either run back and turn the switch off, endangering your own life, or run away and let it explode and level a block. What do you do? (true story, btw)

[Developer]

This thread is a pervert's dream come true.
[/b]

Lucid dreamer (male)= horny.

That's the picture I get byt this thread.

Tip of the day: Go f*ck somebody

[ExoByte]

Slap her in the face, push her out of the way, and tell her that I don't swing that way. Then I grab the parachute and jump, lazily smiling and waving at her on my descent.

After refilling your mini propane tank, you realize there is a leak in the valve of the large tank. You can either run back and turn the switch off, endangering your own life, or run away and let it explode and level a block. What do you do? (true story, btw)
[/b]


Run back and flip the switch. Why not. I live or I die. Aside from the fact that its morally right, one of 3 things could happen. I die, I live knowing that I just killed countless people, or I live knowing I saved many lives. Plus its just my natural personality, not just the inclination of "good" but the whole risk my life thing.

and I can't think of decent question. Next!

[13redfan]

Which would you rather do, or run up a hill?

[BohmaN]

Which would you rather do, or run up a hill?
[/b]
doesn't make sense

[13redfan]

Which would you rather do, or run up a hill?
[/b]
:laughtillhurts:

It's not supposed to. Anyway. You're in a club and you meet this *hot* girl. You buy her a few drinks, and next thing you know you're in the back seat of your car with her and things are getting steamy. You suddenly think "hey, she looks a bit young" and ask her age. She says she's 15, and that if you don't f*ck her, she's tell her parents that you raped her. What do you do? (this happened to a friend of mine who's 23)

[MSG]

STICK IT IN HER POOPER

A complicated situation arises in which there is a considerable quantity of water in a room, a soaked surge protector on the ground and plugged in, and you unfortunately are stuck in the corner of the room. You can't get out being as the carpet is soaked in water and (most likely is) live. What do you do? (something tells me this thread has turned into "show off your amazing experiences")

[bro]

Bash a hole in the wall with your foot, until someone hears you, or the hole is big enough to get out of, then make some chocolate milk.

There is a demon approaching you from your closet while you are paralyzed in bed, What to do?

[BohmaN]

Wait til SP is over and enter a LD? Not very hard :)

You feel a strong urge of raping someone, what do you do?

[bro]

Rape

You have to go to the bathroom but the nearest is 3 feet away!

What do you do?

[Kaniaz]

Uhh...go three feet to the bathroom.

[bro]

You didn't provide another so here is one:

You find yourself in a sinking ship, it flips over and you are sealed in a room, with your nose and mouth in the inch airspace to the completely smooth ceiling. You are constantly pushing up to continue breathing in the small airspace. There is no way out, and you have to empty your bladder, because you cannot possibly hold it any longer. Inside your bladder is contained axactly the amount of piss to fill the remaining inch to the ceiling.


What do you do?

[Led]

well since there is no way out... it kinda defeats the purpose of the game. I would take the piss.

You are playing basketball in Gym class when you slip and hit your head on the floor. You regain consciousness and realize you are in the opposite gender locker room. you can hear Class ending and people heading to the locker rooms to get changed. What doest thou deu?

[bro]

Slide into a locker and have fun with yourself looking at the other sex, with a perfect vantage point through the door. When someone opens it, tell them "I got nothing to hide" and "Gimme a hand"... you may just have the time of your life :)

I can't think of one, someone help

[BohmaN]

You didn't provide another so here is one:

You find yourself in a sinking ship, it flips over and you are sealed in a room, with your nose and mouth in the inch airspace to the completely smooth ceiling. You are constantly pushing up to continue breathing in the small airspace. There is no way out, and you have to empty your bladder, because you cannot possibly hold it any longer. Inside your bladder is contained axactly the amount of piss to fill the remaining inch to the ceiling.
What do you do?
[/b]
hahahaha great =D

Hmm... You're high on LDS when your mom comes to pick you up from the party, what do you do?

[bro]

hahahaha great =D

Hmm... You're high on LDS when your mom comes to pick you up from the party, what do you do?
[/b]

You say...are you Jesus?

It is the end of the world, all the girls of the world invite you to a giant orgy to get the last out of these few days.

There is chance that if you go to the shelter deep underground, you may survive, yet girls that surive will likely never give you an orgy like this one.

Do you go for the orgy, party it up and die

Or settle for mediocre sex till the end of your days in the barren destroyed world?

[Developer]

I go underground and have lots of lucid sex instead of the one time orgy.

You really want do come up with a creative respond to my post, what do you do?

[Kaniaz]

Respond with sarcastic commentary that adds nothing to the topic except a sense of ill-wishing

[Led]

Kaniaz, why do you respond, but not play?

You find yourself listening to gangsta wrap. Theheadphones are stapled on in a manner that removing them would cause permanent scarring. What doest thou deu?

[BohmaN]

ouch that's a hard one. Turn the volume down!

You have a terrible pain in your ass after a party last night and you decide to go to the doctor who is very sexy and when she's doing x-ray on you she discovers that you have a condom - with some material inside it to make it stiff - stuck up deep in your ass. She decides to pull it out... embarassing... but ALSO there's text on it written in permanent saying: "I'm completely gay but I still love you doctor". What doest thou deu?

[Led]

uhhh... Whats is the problem?

[BohmaN]

It's embarassing.

[Kaniaz]

Kaniaz, why do you respond, but not play? [/b]
Because I'm dead inside.

[Artelis]

Because I'm dead inside.
[/b]
hey God
why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God
i think you owe me a great big apology.[/b]

[Ne-yo]

Because I'm dead inside.
[/b]

:chuckle:

Your doctor says that you have a heart problem and will die within the next 2 months. But your body won’t feel any different and you won’t need to go to a hospital, what do you do?

[Led]

Get a second opinion. If that is the same, go to an island of orange soda worshiping natives and jump a big volcano.

You find yourself in Detroit. What doest thou deu?

[bro]

Get a second opinion. If that is the same, go to an island of orange soda worshiping natives and jump a big volcano.

You find yourself in Detroit. What doest thou deu?[/b]

You get a list of things to do at the nearest hotel, since you know nothing about Detroit, such an obscure city.

You come across a strange looking man, with brown stains on his face, missing a finger, and a strong odor emanates from him resembling cheese. His hair hangs to his knees and he wears a tie die (?) shirt. He offers you a fine white powder you've never seen before. He says it makes him "see sound" and that it "allows the " Hogin Bogins"" to take over his brain, he shoves a handful to snort towards you, and asks you to give god his regards...what do you do?

[Man of Steel]

I say, "Hallo, Foul Ol' Ron. How's Ankh-Morpork these days?"

You are in a beautiful classic '69 Mustang, speeding down the interstate, just about to pass a large semi, when two more large semis with Volvo emblems come out of nowhere to box you in. You look to your left only to see the driver of that truck aiming a pump shotgun at you through his passenger-side window. What do you do?

[Led]

Ejection seat + remote car detonator + hang glider

You die. What do you do?

[Man of Steel]

I wake up, as it turns out I only dreamed that I died.

Al Gore becomes President of the United States. What do you do?

[Led]

Go to taco bell.

Dreamviews shuts down permanently. what do you do?

[FreshBrains]

Go to another message board.

You're sleeping in your house (Pretend you have a house, mmkay) and you hear loud, angry banging on your front door at 2 AM. What do you do?

[MSG]

Is this one of those threads that goes on for 80 pages but nobody gets a laugh out of, ever?

[BohmaN]

I've laughed a few times.

[Led]

I've laughed a few times.[/b]
EXACTLY