What do you do to maintain a positive attitude?

[Oneironaught]

Life can be a real challenge sometimes. Sometimes you've got to make yourself happy(er) even though there may be no outside support. What do you do when you're feeling down?

About three or four years ago, I learned a very powerful philosophical tool that I've used ever since. It doesn't always completely change my attitude but it's a good start and really puts the crap-time in perspective.

What is this simple "trick" that I've employed every single day for almost four years? Well, every morning, I take a deep breath and, on the exhale, I say out loud: "Life is wonderful". Sometimes I use "Life is beautiful". If I happen to forget, there's a certain traffic light that I've designated as the barrier between work and home. Whenever I pass that light in the morning I do it.

It's so simple yet, if you're sincere about it and remember just how wonderful and precious life really is then it can make a measurable difference in your attitude. After all, attitude is the real bedfellow of happiness and success. It's the means to every end.

Even when I'm feeling like sh!t, even when I think life sucks, even when I had 7 friends (several close to me) die last year - keeping a positive attitude about life and our place in it is so powerful. Believe it or not, on the way to my friend Reggie's viewing (2 days before Christmas) - then funeral (Christmas Eve) - I took a deep breath and said: "Life is beautiful".

You know what, life really is beautiful. If we could only realize that we can start to live it that way.

How do you keep a positive attitude?

[Howie]

I think that is great that you do not need a tragic event for you to realize that life is great.
One thing I like to remember myself is it is normal to be feeling down from time to time. It is just an emotion that will pass for most of us.
Keeping that in mind makes you feel comforted IMO.

I think you have a great idea. And to keep it sincere as you say is important. Much like a reality check. :cool:

[Oneironaught]

I also meant to point out that lucid dreaming is a useful tool for keeping a positive attitude and boosting self-esteem and confidence.

I think you have a great idea. And to keep it sincere as you say is important. Much like a reality check. :cool:
Sincerity goes a long way in every aspect of life. I always try to be sincere. Well, I joke around and am sarcastic a lot but - when it matters - sincerity is very powerful. Even if people don't like what you have to say, they'll always know where you stand and that they can trust you to do what you know to be right for yourself and others. Your integrity - to yourself and others - is all you have, when it comes down to it.

Sincerity = integrity = character.

[joey11223]

well what i do if im feeling down is compare my problems/life to say a starving child in Africa. I know it sounds cruel but basicly i think about the fact i have food and water and a loving family and no fear. How dumb my little problems are compared to the horride life some people live.

[RooJ]

Powerful post, I think ive used all the techniques mentioned so far at some time or another. I often remind myself how lucky i am.. but at this point in time I find acceptance as howie mentioned to be the most effective. To realise everyone has ups and downs and that its all part of the rollercoaster of life.

[Neruo]

Wow, 7 of your friends died? Darn, that must suck : /

However, you are totally right. Just think positive, and you really feel better/good about life. Just think of the things you Do have, instead of the things you Don't have.

[Oneironaught]

Wow, 7 of your friends died? Darn, that must suck : /
Each died separately and most from different causes. Last year was full of funerals but I got over it.

[pj]

I just choose to be happy, which is pretty much what you chose too. I had to... several years ago, in the midst of unbelievable chaos and worse, my doctor wanted to put me on BP and cholesterol meds. I knew what the problem was - I was angry and sad and in a justified depression. I told the doc that I'd come back in six months for a retest.

What I did was go to war with my "inner voice." I told it to shut up and then enforced it. I started my day with a thank-you prayer, and every time the old tapes would start playing in my head I stopped them and focused on the moment and the good things outside of myself. That was the key - getting my attention outside of my own head.

My BP and blood work consistently check normal now. I am energetic and active and have survived and endured horrors and situations that might have finished me off on top of everything else. And my life IS good - really! I mean FABULOUS good. I was a real idiot to be letting it all pass me by in a self-imposed misery.

I choose to be happy and I am. For real.

[Marvo]

I just remain in control, I never let something make me mad, unless I let myself do it.

Once, a friend of mine was really mad at me, and he tried to beat me up. He was hitting me and dragging me around, but all the time, I just remained relaxed, I had calm breathing, and I just focused on his movements, so that I could avoid any hits, that might hurt.

Remain in focus - Archon

[Burns]

I think about how lucky I am for everything I have in my life. I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat everyday, I have a great hubby and family, and I love my job. I live a very comfortable, happy life. And I am thankful everyday for it - which makes me have a positive outlook.

I like your idea about reminding youself everyday, Oneironaught. A day shouldn't go by that you don't say "Life is Wonderful" :)

[Horizon_Diver]

I remind myself how bad the desert was and realize that no matter how awful things get here, it can't compare to that experience.

[skysaw]

Concerta and lexapro for me. They are working as intended.

[Clairity]

Sounds sappy but I have small spiral notebook that I entitled "BLESSINGS".

Everyday.. at the end of the day.. I think about all the good things that I either felt, did or had happen to me that day and I write them down under that day's date.

It's amazing how many good things happen that we fail to notice or simply take for granted. Writing them down helps me to remember how truly blessed I am.. and should I need a reminder, I need only to flip through the pages (lifts my spirits everytime)!
.

[Oneironaught]

That's pretty cool, Clairity. It really is amazing how many good we we overlook because they may seem small or insignificant. But, when we look at the, we can realize that they are much greater than the sum of their parts. A lot of little good things = a huge lump of greatness.

My fellow DreamViews members never cease to impress me.

[Neruo]

Each died separately and most from different causes. Last year was full of funerals but I got over it.

I thought they must have all died like in a plane-crash or something... I mean, it's pretty rare to lose so much friends, unless you are 90, in one year : /

They would have liked it that you keep positive.

Sounds really cheesy, but probably it's true.

[NeAvO]

What makes me happy?

Ummm...I like to go jogging when its night time, or dark. Makes me clear my mind and although I end up aching. I have a little bit of happiness in me.

I also like to draw some stuff, haven't for a while though. However I have loads of free time now and will most likely get back into it.

[Moonbeam]

One thing I do to avoid regrets is think about all the bad alternatives that might have happened that you don't even know you avoided. Like if something bad happens to slow you down when you are already running late, maybe if you had left on time, you would have gotten in an accident. This can be applied to many things, including bad things like getting fired, etc., but it can be kind of hard to apply to things like people dying. I don't have a good strategy for that, so I just feel bad. Can't avoid it sometimes.

[Armageddon_Heaven]

Getting drunk.
It's pathetic but I'm pathetic so it evens out =P

[Oneironaught]

...it can be kind of hard to apply to things like people dying. I don't have a good strategy for that, so I just feel bad. Can't avoid it sometimes.
I thinks it's "healthy" to feel bad for awhile when some one you know dies. Like you said, it's not avoidable - unless you're cold-hearted - but the idea is to not dwell forever and allow it to ruin your own outlook on life.

On a side note, I had a few friends making jokes, such as "You're killing off all of your friends. Remember that I don't know you or like you!" and stuff. It's silly but kind of funny. They were all wondering who's next :D

[Mes Tarrant]

I have had some really tough times these past couple of years. But I just decided to rise above it and stay positive because I knew that that was the only way I was going to make it. What helps me to stay positive it taking my ipod and going on long walks by myself. Helps to clear my head. It's actually really really great.. I don't know where I'd be without my walks. :D Good exercise, too.

[Lucid Seeker]

I never dwell on the past, i always look to the future, i see good things coming my way. It takes quite lot to put me in a bad mood :)

[Oneironaught]

I never dwell on the past, i always look to the future, i see good things coming my way. It takes quite lot to put me in a bad mood :)
I like your attitude. May I borrow some for awhile?

[Lucid Seeker]

Sure thing! *hands positive attitude to Oneironaught*

[Oneironaught]

Sure thing! *hands positive attitude to Oneironaught*
Thanks, you don't know how helpful that is to me right now.

[Infraredkelp]

I cut 4 of my fingers off, then say, "What if I didn't even have one finger?"
That helps me have a positive attitude knowing that it could be worse :)

[.:Rob:.]

I actually try not to keep a positive attitude. I'm not emo or anything like that, but as I see it if you're constantly striving for the best then you're going to be disappointed regularly. Also, I never had any talents and used to get seriously depressed over the fact that I really couldn't be much worse at absolutely everything I've ever tried to be good at than I already am. So I try to keep a state of mind that says, "F**k it, you'll fail anyway so what's the point trying?". Again, I want to make it clear that I'm NOT emo - just really really really laid back. To the point that I just don't care about anything and never get stressed out.

[Oneironaught]

I actually try not to keep a posotive attitude. I'm not emo or anything like that, but as I see it if you're constantly striving for the best then you're going to be disappointed regularly.
I respectfully disagree with you. The key to happiness is to seek it out. If you are afraid of disappointment then you're in for a dull, lackluster life.

We each must always strive to be the best we can be. Equally important is the purposeful intention to do the best you can for those you care about and/or love. If you can find the extra push to extend that even farther, great. But, first and foremost, you owe it to yourself to be the best you can be: even when you see no apparent benefit in doing so.

If I gave up and quit every time I f*ck up or make a stupid mistake or feel that I let myself or some one else down then - damn... I would have given up more times this very week than I even care to admit. And, trust me, that is no exaggeration at all. I've been on some sort of crazy f*ck-up spree with respect to a certain facet of my life the past couple of weeks. I'm not pleased with my behavior but trying is the only way to succeed at anything, even happiness. You have to learn from your mistakes, re-think your course of action and continue to try.

You see where I "borrowed" some positive attitude from Lucid Seeker above? I really needed that. That was no joke. Sometimes friends are all you have to lean on. I want to give up and be all "f*ck it" myself but, I just can't allow that to happen. It just isn't fair to myself or those who are important to me.

So pick yourself up and have hope for your future.

[.:Rob:.]

You actually kind of just made me re-think my whole outlook on...well, everything. I never really take anything in my life seriously at all. Maybe if I take your advice I can actually make something of myself and be a lot more happy. I don't know if I can exactly make it happen overnight though - the whole laid back I don't give a f**k thing has woven itself into my personality. It's actually how poeple see me - the guy who just doesn't care.

Anyway thanks a lot, Oneironaught - I reckon you're probably onto something.

[MrGrEmLiN]

Well... I pretty much just live from day to day... If you have a bad day, then maybe the next day will better...
I used to be really depressed, then when I stopped being, I never really had an extremelly bad day again...

[Oneironaught]

Anyway thanks a lot, Oneironaught - I reckon you're probably onto something.
You go, buddy. Make me proud :goodjob:

[Lyla]

The thing I do is that I look into my happy box, I've put a bunch of stuff in there that remind of my friends or simply cheer me up. Also a great help was Anne Frank's diary, amazing book; all of us have something to learn from that girl. Me, I always use a "prayer" she mentioned: "Thank you God for all that is good and dear and beautiful.". Whenever I say it, I think of a few things in ecah "category"; a bit silly, but works for me.

But of course, I can't always find the strength to rise again, but I have confidence that I'm going to do it.

Oneironaught and Clarity, I really loved your ideas! This forum rules - full of great people with great ideas. Haven't been around some time and truly missed it...

[Clairity]

This forum rules - full of great people with great ideas. Haven't been around some time and truly missed it...
I'm glad you decided to come back! :D
.