The jest sellers list

[Oneironaught]

Alright , this is a game where you make up comical book names and authors. I'll give a few examples to start things off. See how creative you can get.

* Resolving property disputes - by: Sharon Fields

* Coping with grief and loss - by: Paul Bearer

* Famous Forgeries - by: Trace Sketcher & Art Buff

* My Father's Footsteps - by: I. M. A. Jr.

and the obvious

* Finding your true love - by: Mrs. Wright

Your turn. Make me laugh :D

[CoLd BlooDed]

Oooh, I like this one. Great idea, Gh.

Marijuana: Love it or Leave it - by Isaac Ite

10 Steps to Fool God - Evan Forbid

Top Ten Things Not to Walk Over - Eric Itybridge

Buying Vehicles for Dummies - Elysse Skruzyou

That's all I got right now. :D

[Oneironaught]

* All but the Son of Peter - by: Skip Peterson

[Amethyst Star]

Careful about some of those titles. If they're already copyrighted, I'll have to take you to court, c/o my law firm: Dewy, Cheatim, and Howe.

My African Safari - by Elle E. Font

[Man of Steel]

Lucid Dreaming For Dummies - by Freddy Kreuger

A Vegetarian Diet for All Generations - by Q. Cumber



And... I'm not exactly on top of my game tonight.

[Oneironaught]

Vasectomy for Dummies - by: Dick Payne

Helping others - by: Karen Moore

Adventures in Bargain Hunting - by: Penny Keeper

[Ynot]

World's Best Jokebook - Paul T. Otherone

[Super Duck]

15 Of My Best
... As Long As You Add Me To Members That Make You Laugh (http://www.dreamviews.com/community/showthread.php?t=41890)) :lol:

Anal Sex For Dummies - by: Ben Dover
Sexual Intercourse For Dummies - by: Phil Mcrackin
The Turned-On Man - by: Eric Shon
I Love Other Women - by: Les Bean
Two Men In A Haunted House - by: Hugo First
Sexual Organs - by: P. Nus and V. Gina
The Turned-On Man 2 - by: Iva Hardon
Climbing Everest Alone - by: Willy Maykit and Betty Wont
Condom In My Pocket - by: Justin Case
Almost Missed the Bus - by: Justin Time
Allegiance To The King - by: Neil Downe
Doctor, Doctor! - by: Ann Thrax
How To Get Rich - by: Robin Banks
Mess On The Bed Sheets - by: Mister Completely
Who Shot JFK? - by: I. Dunno

Lemme know if you don't "get" some of them

[Oneironaught]

Very nice, Duck. I love the Mister Completely one :D

* Who Says You Can't Have Great sex with a Small Penis? - by: Tad Johnson

* 10 Gassy Foods to Avoid - by: Wendy Britches & Colon Powell

* The Bull Sees Red - by: Mattie Door

* Not again - by: Ben There

* Litigation in the 21st Century - by: Sue Mee

* Keep it Under Wraps - by: Anonymous

[•Neko•]

You Need This Book - by: U. R. Bookless

Basic Mathematics - by: Tuuantu Makefore

How To Live With An Annoying Name - by: Jiminy Cricket

Super Duck, your ones are great. :D

[CoLd BlooDed]

Bahaha, Mister Completely. That's awesome. Let my try my hand at it again.

Avalanche Rescue Tales - Luke Harder

Cannibals Book On Children - Ed Hible

You Stink - Rica Shit

English For Dummies - Tank Yoo

[Super Duck]

You ready for some more, peeps? Here's another 13!

Artificial Clothing - by: Polly Ester
Tearing Your Pants - by: Eileen Dover
Downpour! - by: Wayne Dwops
Errors and Accidents - by: Miss Takes and Miss Haps
I Can! - by: Nohyu Kant
Glass Bikini - by: Seymore Skynn
Chairs on the Lawn - by: Patty O'Furniture
Serving Drinks for Dummies - by: Bart Ender
House Construction for Dummies- by: Bill-Jerone Holme
Leo Volont - by: Aunt Agonizing
Hive In The Garage! - by: B. Problem
Home-made Honey - by: B. Keeping
I'm an Atheist - by: Noel Noheaven

Plenty more where that came from. I used to do these with my best mate for hours.

[Oneironaught]

* Advances in modern physics - by: Adam Smasher

* The Secret to a Slimmer You - by: Les Craven

* The Effects of Sleep Deprivation - by: Maye B. & Will B. Tuckard

* Undecided - by: Les Moore

* A Guy I Know - by: Noah Mann

* Pastries and Desserts Made Easy - by: E. Claire

* The Art of Remote Viewing - by: Clara Voyent

* Out of the Closet - by: Neal & Bob Morehead

* Feeling Frisky - by: Pat Down

* Making the Change - by: Christina

You may have to think about that last one.

[Amethyst Star]

Leo Volont - by: Aunt Agonizing

You get a :hug: for that one!

[Super Duck]

Thanks
Have one on me:
:hug:

[Super Duck]

Getting Off - by: Scott Free

[Oneironaught]

* A Shred of Decency - by: Rip Torn

* Quenching that Thirst - by: Walter Fountain

* Afraid of the Sun - by: Gladys Knight

* The Cold, Hard Truth - by: Frank Lee

* Prostitution - by: Neela Lott

* Volunteering in the Community - by: Linda Hand

The following books now available at the Dreamviews book store:

* How I Became Administrator - by: C. Kerr

* Creamation 101 - by: asher & Burns

[Man of Shred]

101 ways to Wok your dog - Tai Mai Shu

[Oneironaught]

* Do as I say - by: Simon Sez

* Logging and Woodsmanship - by: Tim Burr

* Bound and Gagged - by: Dom N. Atrix

* Peepholes in the Mexican Bath House - by: Señor Taco

* Basic Seismology - by: Rick Ter

* Advanced Yoga - by: Shirley Aiken

* I'll Always be There for You - by: Helen Highwater

[Man of Steel]

Fairy Tales For the Older Generation - Juan Suponatim

The World's Unsolved Mysteries - Puhri Vuhti

How to Get Really, Really Drnuk - Captain Morgan

If Wishes Were Horses - Wri Dingbum

Beverages for All Occasions - D. Wrynkup


And I think that's it for me tonight. Mine are so incredibly bad in comparison to y'alls'. Especially Super Duck's, some of his had me rolling.

[Adam]

OMG I think this gets SB thread of the year award! I am in tears at some of these!!!!

Vasectomy for Dummies - by: Dick Payne



World's Best Jokebook - Paul T. Otherone

Ok here are some of my not so good efforts,

The Russian with 3 balls - by: Whodya Knikabolokov
Time Management - by: Justin Time
The perfect Tan in 30 days - by: Al Bino
Dealing with Heart Burn - by: Al K. Seltzer
Tips to a beautiful garden - by: Rose Bush
DIY Gynaecology - by: Mike Hunt
Cystitis - by: I.P Freely
Who killed JFK - by: Anna Sassin

:D

[derb]

a comprehensive guide of what not to snort up your nose - by Nohl Eftnostril

your guide to a wheelchair - shaun walker

why i hate myself - by john... oh who gives a shit anyways? im gonna go watch tv.

[Ynot]

The Russian with 3 balls - by: Whodya Knikabolokov
reminds me of the Russian prostitute
Onya Bakubitch

[Super Duck]

The perfect Tan in 30 days - by: Al Bino
DIY Gynaecology - by: Mike Hunt

LMFAO


It took me two days to come up with these:
I Win! - by: U. Lose
Robotics for Dummies - by: Anne Droid
Danger! - by: Luke Out
Failed Invisibility - by: I. C. U. Nowe
Fallen Underwear - by: Lucy Lastic
Salt in the Eyes - by: Major. I Payne
Why Bother Wearing Clothes? - by: Private. Parts
Footwear - by: Susan Socks
French Overpopulation - by: Francis Crowded
Home Security - by: Barb Dwyer
Poor Luke - by: Lucas Measles
It Won't Work! - by: Mel Function
How I Won The Marathon - by: Randy Hoelway
Britain - by: Helen Earth
The Titanic - by: Isa Berg
What Is The Meaning of Life? - by: Howard I. Know
The Life and Discoveries of Ben Franklin - by: Alec Tricity
Seeing Things - by: Mage Ination
One Blind Mouse - by: C. Howie Runns
Son, Take Out The Trash - by: Y. Me

[Adam]

hahaha love these!!!!!

LMFAO


It took me two days to come up with these:

Fallen Underwear - by: Lucy Lastic

Footwear - by: Susan Socks
French Overpopulation - by: Francis Crowded

How I Won The Marathon - by: Randy Hoelway
What Is The Meaning of Life? - by: Howard I. Know
The Life and Discoveries of Ben Franklin - by: Alec Tricity
One Blind Mouse - by: C. Howie Runns
Son, Take Out The Trash - by: Y. Me

[Super Duck]

Sue is such a cool name:
Raw Fish - by: Sue Shi
Killing Yourself - by: Sue Icide
Making Easy Money - by: Sue Yorboss*
Soup Is Tasty - by: Sue P. Stastey*
Footwear VOLUME 2 by: Sue Sandsocks*
DV's Best Member - by: Sue Perduck
Smallville - by: Sue Permann
Puzzles And Games - by: Sue Doku
Driving For Dummies - by: Sue Zuki
Blowjobs For Dummies - by: Sue Kmicock*
It Was Gonna Happen - by: Sue Nerorlater

*Just read these through and I don't really think they're very good but I'll post them anyway...
/me clicks Post Quick Reply

[Oneironaught]

* Protecting Your Children - by: Moe Lester

* Expanding Knowledge - by: Stu Pid

* Soil Preparations for Better Gardening - bu: Pete Loam

* The Onset of Adolescence - by: Harry Peter

* The Curse of Racism - by: Emma White & Jim Crow

* 12-Step Programs - by: Al K. Holic

* Fashion and Formal Wear - by: Beau Tye

[Super Duck]

* Protecting Your Children - by: Moe Lester

LOL!

edit: Removing Ovaries For Dummies - by: Mr. Ectamy
edit2: Removing Tetes For Dummies - by: Miss. Ectamy

[Oneironaught]

* How Will it End? - by: Cliff Hanger

* The Root of Selfishness - by: Ivana Lott & Mimi Taker

* You Can Count on Me - by: Al B. There

* Lesser Crimes - by: Miss D. Meaner

* Boosting Self-Confidence - by: Ken Knot

[pj]

Astral Travel for Idiots, by G. Imnota Spaceman
The Comprehensive Guide to DreamViews, by Luci D. Reamer

[Super Duck]

More where that came from:
Alphabet - by: A. B. See
100 Years Old - by: Ann Teek
The 10 Commandments - by: B. Hayve
Clearing Leaves For Dummies- by: Ray King
Sit Down! - by: Stan Dupp
Male Sex Cells - by: Tad Pole
Walking To School - by: Miss. D. Bus
No More Wrinkles - by: Fay Slift
Trunk - by: L. E. Fant
102nd Birthday! - by: Bess Twishes
Blowing Up Skyscrapers - by: Stan Wellback
Locked In The Zoo - by: Lionel Eacha
Meat And Veg - by: Carney Vore and Herbie Vore
Albert Einstein - by: Genie Uss
Godzilla Returns - by: General Disaster and Major Mayhem
The 2 Ton Woman - by: Hugh Mungus
Shit On My Face - by: Hu Flung Dung

[A dreamer168]

U forgot a classic--I Fell Off A Cliff by Ima N. Pain

[Oneironaught]

Shit On My Face - by: Hu Flung Dung
Aww, I was going to do: Crap on the wall - by: Hu Flung Poo

* The Secret to Great Steaks - by: T. Bone & Phil A. Minyon

* The Longest Day - by: Sonny Knight

* Invitation to Anal - by: Willie Turner :D

* Guide to Synthetic Diamonds - by: C.Z. & Marcus Site

* Reliving the Past - by: Anna Ginn

* The Best Book You'll Every Read - by: Page Turner

* Round 'n' Round - by: Moe Turr

* Curing STDs - by: Penny Sillin & NASCAR's Dick Trickle

* Sportswear - by: Jim Shorts

[Super Duck]

Gay - by: Homer Sexual

[NeAvO]

Toilet tricks --- Ivanna Tinkle
Old furnture --- Anne Teaque
The human body --- Hugh Jass and Mike Rotch

[Half/Dreaming]

Dummies Guide To Cross Burning and Noose Making: By Ray Cyst

[Super Duck]

Old furnture --- Anne Teaque
To late NeAvO. I done dat already.
Dummies Guide To Cross Burning and Noose Making: Ray Cyst
ROFL

Some more:
Cystics - by: Fay Brosis
What's He Do For Pocket Money? - by: Moses Lawn
Eating Disorders - by: Anna Rexia
Emergancy Services - by: Everett DeReady
Income - by: Ernie Living
Don't Touch Me! - by: Amada B Reckonwith
Erotic Adventures - by: Oliver Klozoff
The Soviet Union - by: Perry Stroika
Explaining It Better - by: Clara Fiy
What Do You Care? - by: I. Cara Lott
Leotards - by: Jim Nastics
Losing Weight - by: Jim Nasium
My Aching Bones - by: Arthur Itis

[thegnome54]

Some French ones I actually made up for fake letters of recommendations we were supposed to make up for English class - the teacher didn't notice :P

Vegetarianism Today - by: Jaime Lepoulet (J'aime = I like, le poulet = chicken)

Introduction to The Moh's Scale - by: Pierre Demidur (Pierre = rock, Demi dur = somewhat/half hard)

Zombism in Cambodia - by: Aurore Desmorts (Aurore = dawn, des morts = of the dead)

I notice that a lot of these work better in other languages than english, because the names are somehow more believable - no English people have last names like "Icide" or "reckonwith". Granted, I'll bet no one's called 'Lepoulet', but we're not used to French names anyways.

[Oneironaught]

I notice that a lot of these work better in other languages than english, because the names are somehow more believable - no English people have last names like "Icide" or "reckonwith".
I try to keep mine in the realm of somewhat credible names so I don't have to stretch too far for last names. Though there are some weirder last names out there, I'm trying to avoid using ones that sound too made up. But, sometimes I do have to invent names to make it work.

* To Tell You the Truth - by: Frank Lee

* Waiting for the Call - by: Stan Bye

* Hair Do's and Don'ts - by: Bobbie Penn

* Over the Hill - by: Pastor Prime

* Rendered Useless - by: Nolan Void

* Clap in Time - by: Pattie Cake

* The Art of Prestidigitation - by: Howdy Dudat

* Famous Legal Battles - by: A. Tourney

* Sports wear - by: Jim Shorts

* Fun With River Rocks - by: Skip A. Stone

* Reading The Signs - by: Bill Board

* How I Picked up a Man - by: Ilene Dover

* Better Grilling - by: Barbie Q.

And a cookie if you get this one:

* Living without legs - by: Consuelo

[Half/Dreaming]

Oneironaught, I hand this thread to you. :bowdown:

[Super Duck]

I don't
:(

[CoLd BlooDed]

How to Fool Guys Into Thinking You're a Girl - by Amanda

[Super Duck]

Ocean Views - by: Cliff Edge
Rabbit's Up My Arse - by: Warren Bottom
Archeology - by: Doug Upp
Fuel for the Fire - by: Cole Anwood

I'm getting worse, me thinks

[A dreamer168]

Acne by Pim pull

[Amethyst Star]

The Soviet Union - by: Perry Stroika

He he :content:

[thegnome54]

How to Foster Peace in The Middle East - by: George W. Bush

[Oneironaught]

* Confirmed Bachelor - by: Willie Mary

* Your First Love - by: Buster Hyman (yeah, I had to go there)

* How I Handled My Bad Employee - by: Doctor Pay

* Losing Things - by: Miss Place

* The Unseen Future - by: Crystal Ball (I actually knew a Crystal Ball in high school)

* Feline Adventures - by: Tom Katz

* On Each Side - by: Bea Tween

* Kissing Mes - by: Slim Chance

[A dreamer168]

How I got in an accident: by Eileen Dover

[thegnome54]

How I got in an accident: by Eileen Dover

GOLD!!!!! :D:D

[Oneironaught]

How I got in an accident: by Eileen Dover
Yup, I love it so much I already used it:

* How I Picked up a Man - by: Ilene Dover

Granted, I spelled the name wrong.

[thegnome54]

How to Prevent Venereal Disease - by: Les Sharon Seaman
Who Can Stop the Wars? - by: Johnny Ken Easley
How to Get Back at Your Ex - by: Peggy Mona Alder
Purifying Iron - by: Mel Tim Dawn
How to Got Out of Prison - by: Jimmy A. Locke
Future Misfortune on Route 91 - by: R. Carl Role
When it Comes to Jest Sellers - by: Noam Owens

[Super Duck]

Loan Interest - by: Owen Moore
How I Got Out Of The Saharah - by: Rhoda Camel
Ho Ho Ho - by: Mary Christmas
You're Kidding! - by: Shirley U. Jest
Words and Meaning - by: Dick Shunnary
How Witty! - by: Joe Kur
Brass Instruments - by: Tom Bone
I Win! - by: Vic Tree
Crocodile Dundee - by: Ali Gator
Whatchamacallit! - by: Thingum E. Bob
Breaking the Law - by: Kermit A. Krime
The Lion Attacked - by: Claudia Armoff

[A dreamer168]

I STINK by Anita Bath

[A dreamer168]

GOLD!!!!! :D:D

U really think it was funny?

[A dreamer168]

I've got a few others

[A dreamer168]

Solving Crimes by Dee Tek Tive

[A dreamer168]

and False Names by Sue Do Nim (pseudonym)

[A dreamer168]

Perfect English by Jar Jar Binks

[Oneironaught]

Will you please make one post. If you think of something you want to add afterwards, use the edit button. It's there for a reason.

[Super Duck]

Absolutley Nothing! - by: Jack Shit
Large Butt - by: Hugh Jass
Sniffed By Dogs - by: Mike Rotch

[Super Duck]

is that it? the end of this thread?

:(

*sigh*

[A dreamer168]

NO!!!! I won't allow it!!!

someone please post here!!!!!!!!!!!

[Oneironaught]

* Well and Good - by: Jim Dandy

* The Search for Atlantis - by: Noah Ware

* The Sympathetic Nurse - by: Ophelia Payne

* The Climbing Forest - by: Woody Hill

* "Breaker 1-9" - by: Rodger Rodgers

* Without Shins - by: Tony

* Rapid Ascension - by: Skip Astaire

* More Home Remedies - by: Lance Boyle

is that it? the end of this thread?
Oh, I figured people were getting bored with them so I stopped thinking them up.

[Super Duck]

:D

[Oneironaught]

* Return to Status Quo - by: Norm L. C.

* I Could Talk for Hours - by: Chad R. Box

Alright, I'm getting weak. Let me take a little time to think up some better ones.

[Super Duck]

We could quit while we are ahead ...
Let's have a vote for the best one! :D