Read about your zodiac sign!

[Clairity]

Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictions (or so they say) ;):

ARIES - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser.. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud.

TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth.

GEMINI - Irresistible Nice.
Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

CANCER - The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

VIRGO - The One that Waits Dominant in relationships.
Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.

PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always lets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.

FYI.. I'm a Taurus (tho I'm not "Trampy" in any way)! :D

[Goldney]

This kind of thinking annoys me to no end. It's such a stereotype "All Aries are outgoing, lovable and spontaeneous". Where do they come up with this information, as far as I'm considered they made it up. Being born in a certain month cannot dictate your personality.

For sake of argument I checked mine; I disagree with it. I wouldn't class myself as "Aggressive" nor am I "Extremely outgoing". Also the way they pander to people ending in complimentary ideas that make people want to believe it's true.

I'm not having a rant at you Clairity, more the new-age scene where if you believe that something is possible it is; regardless of scientific fact or proof.

[wasup]

I don't get it... they are pretty much all the same descriptions? I mean, "great kisser" is in like, all of them.

[Clairity]

This, like most zodiak/horoscopes, is NOT to be taken seriously!

I posted it because I thought it was funny!

Please guys don't get all twisted into knots over it!

[Michael]

I don't get it... they are pretty much all the same descriptions? I mean, "great kisser" is in like, all of them.

That's how it is rigged so everyone can relate to it of course... those asains back in the day were sneaky bastards, and still are lol.



But the way Leo is described, fits me better than any of the other ones... So mine is true. Besides the liking long relationships thing (hit it ans quit it), and the LOUD one. How could I be laid back and loud? That's what it says... wtf...

[Lord Toaster]

Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictions (or so they say) ;):

Meh, I don't think they're that true...
oh and who's "they"?


VIRGO - The One that Waits Dominant in relationships.
Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.


The words highlighted in red are wrong about me... I'm easy going and don't need to get the last word, and I'm also quite quiet.

The Green words are just vague statements that you can't really know about yourself, and that could apply to anyone.

Do people really believe this stuff?

[Xox]

Heh Ive seen this on myspace before.. I read them for the hell of it. ha

[Clairity]

Meh, I don't think they're that true...
oh and who's "they"?

"They" are the unknown people who are always quoted in stuff like this!

Do people really believe this stuff?

I would hope not!

PEOPLE PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT REAL.. IT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU IN REAL LIFE.. NO NEED TO PANIC! :D

[Lord Toaster]

"They" are the unknown people who are always quoted in stuff like this!

Lol, just reminded me of this Gary Larson cartoon where this woman walks into this little dark room and finds this man surrounded by telephones labeled "they". She says: "So YOU'RE the they as in "they say"..."

Lol!

[Goldney]

This reminds me: some guy at school was asked if he was aryan (as in blonde hair and blue eyes) and he replied,

"No, I'm Pisces".

[Idec Sdawkminn]

I'm Capricorn.

My best friend told me that in high school, there was a guest speaker and he made everyone write down their zodiac sign and give them to him. He then gave everyone a piece of paper and asked them to read their descriptions and to rate what percent accuracy they felt it was to them. Most people rated the accuracy around 80%. He then proceeded to tell the class that all the papers were the same.

Also:

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Your Horoscope For Today

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of the is absolutely true.

Where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I's lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today

[Adam]

I believe I am a true Libran! I have all the traits of a Libran too.

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying.Okay I don't know about lame, but I like to think the rest is true, I don't know though, would have to ask others if they think this is a true reflection of me. I like to think it is very close though :)

[Adam]

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Almost true, however I got the promotion :D

[Umbrasquall]

Awesome, I'm MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

[Replicon]

I like reading horoscopes and keeping the labels hidden. I relate to maybe 60-70% of the stuff, since it's either a feel-good compliment or extremely generic. I think horoscopes are great, cause you can make money off of *watches wording* careless individuals.

[dodobird]

Now I don't believe in Astrology, but explain this to me:

Dodo and Beethoven
=============

Born on the same date.
Have the same chinese zodiak too ( wood tiger )
Both are musicians
Both have the exact same hearing condition ( otosclerosis )

Now, what are the odds for that?

EDIT: I just decided to calculate it myself, and it's about 219,000,000 to 1
crazy isn't it?

[Replicon]

Now I don't believe in Astrology, but explain this to me:

Dodo and Beethoven
=============

Born on the same date.
Have the same chinese zodiak too ( wood tiger )
Both are musicians
Both have the exact same hearing condition ( otosclerosis )

Now, what are the odds for that?

EDIT: I just decided to calculate it myself, and it's about 219,000,000 to 1
crazy isn't it?

What about all the other thousands upon thousands of people born on the same day, who did NOT happen to become musicians with hearing problems? The odds of two people in a room having the same birthday are deceptively high :).

[CoLd BlooDed]

CANCER - The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

Oh my god! That describes me perfectly! Everything about it is completely true... wow, that's freaky. If only--

Wait, oops, I'm a virgo, not a cancer.

VIRGO - The One that Waits Dominant in relationships.
Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.

Oh my god! That describes me perfectly!

[Clairity]

LMFAO!! CoLd BlooDed, you're too funny!! :D

[dodobird]

What about all the other thousands upon thousands of people born on the same day, who did NOT happen to become musicians with hearing problems? The odds of two people in a room having the same birthday are deceptively high :).

Thats a good point, but if I got a 219,000,000 to 1 oddity, why don't I win the lottery!?

[Idec Sdawkminn]

What you need, my friend, is an improbability drive. Actually, no, I need that. Give it back.

[dodobird]

What you need, my friend, is an improbability drive. Actually, no, I need that. Give it back.

To late. !puff!

[Adam]

CANCER - The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.


They all sound so similar lol