tell me about your awkward moments

[rastasteez]

i know i have many....too many, but they can leave behind good memories

one that happened not to long ago... (the whole thing was awkward)
i was invited over to this kids house that he was house sitting at for the weekend..him and his friend were there and me and my friend went over there and we got there and they were slightly drunk (i didnt know his friend and only knew himi because we talked online and a little bit in school but no more then a "hi").........---theres 4 things that happened that night:
1. we hung around this table thing in the kitchen and talked about random shit...they were drinkin...and talking about stuff and we were kind of out of it b ecause they started their conversation before we got there....
2. they decided to m ake a campfire out back...they sat on one side of it mostly talking to t hemselves while we sat on the otherside jujst sitting there.
3. his friend left, we left then we were talkin to him online and hes like "im bout to go in the hottub if u guys wanted to come back over" so we went over and it was maddd awkward because by then he was a lil more then slightly drunk and we were all sitting in a hot tub together and had nothing to talk about cause we really didnt know eachother. it was deadly silent for about 20 min.
4. we watched a movie-the full monty- this is where he sat in the middle of us...i thought my friend was sitting close to him so i decided to do the same...as it turns out i was the one that was sitting really close to him..she wasnt. i also thought that she was doing something with him..she descirbed it to me as "i thought he was on top of you".........

very awkward night.

[mark]

ha ha yeah those situations can be awkward.

Ok here is one from my past. I was not to popular at school so people used to make fun of me alot.

This one time in Geography we were all waiting to go home and because I sat at the front of the class near the door everyone was crowded round me next to the door. So this one lad decides he will be funny and says to me "Mark why dont you offer to walk H home" (I really fancied this girl and she had already turned me down) she looked at me and so was everyone else...as if this was not embarrassing enough lol it gets worse.

I tried to say I really dont think she wants me to but instead a random jumble of words came out because I was so nervous. Everyone laughed...dam that was awkward ha ha

[tommo]

haha
Oh god.
Well one time I was in class and there was this girl one year above me who was fairly hot and I was fantasising about fucking her.
Then she comes and sits next to me and I go red and she says "You're really cute" and I go even redder haha
Then everyone notices so I go even redder! omg I was so embarrassed then this guy tries to move her hand onto my ass and I was just so unbelievably red it's not funny. Everyone was like "You're redder then a tomato" n shit. omg lol

Um so many I'll post some more later if this thread gets revived.

[Omnis Dei]

Being me is awkward by itself, picking out individual moments is tough.

[What is Real]

Ha, likewise Omnius Deus!

[hungrymanz]

haha
Oh god.
Well one time I was in class and there was this girl one year above me who was fairly hot and I was fantasising about fucking her.
Then she comes and sits next to me and I go red and she says "You're really cute" and I go even redder haha
Then everyone notices so I go even redder! omg I was so embarrassed then this guy tries to move her hand onto my ass and I was just so unbelievably red it's not funny. Everyone was like "You're redder then a tomato" n shit. omg lol

Um so many I'll post some more later if this thread gets revived.

You deserve it, you are nothing more than a horny pleasure-cat. Your kind sickens me - please go run with the dogs, you have nothing to offer civilized society.

MOD NOTE: This is a good example of an insulting troll. He's getting an infraction, and IMO should just get banned. Stop your shit, or else

[Marvo]

You deserve it, you are nothing more than a typical teenage boy. Your kind sickens me - please go run with the dogs, you have nothing to offer civilized society.

Fixed. You can't really expect everyone to be all nice and "Ohh I love her" and not "Ohh I wanna sex her".

Anyway, I've had my fair share of awkward moments. One time in class we were reading an english book, and there was this black woman in one of the pictures. I then said "There's a nigger cleaning the floor". Now, this I certainly wouldn't do today, but back then I didn't know that it was a bad word. The danish equivelant of the word, "neger" is not a bad word, so I assumed it was fine. My teacher didn't get mad though, he just went (in a sarcastic way) "You pigskinned boy!" and everyone was laughing. I can't deny that I was having fun too, but it was also a wee bit awkward.

[tommo]

Alright.... ban anyone?

EDIT: lol thanx for that clarification marv haha

Err, lucky you got outta that one haha I got out of saying that a few times too coz I was friends with niggers, ah I mean dark people. Which is acceptable?

[hungrymanz]

Alright.... ban anyone?

Fight fairly, rogue!

[iank]

My whole life is an awkward moment.;)

[tommo]

a very long moment to be awkward for!

P.S Thanx mod

[Repo!]

Too many to recall!

But one of the most horriffic ones was i was on an elevator and this lady got on. I would have bet everything I had in my life that she was pregnant. I mean, she looked like she was about to pop. So, I asked her..."Whens the baby due!?" and she just stared at me and said..."I'm not pregnent." After that, it seemed like the freakin elevator had stopped to a crawl and felt like the next 5 floors felt like 20 mintues.

Ha, talk about akward.

[Mes Tarrant]

Being stuck somewhere like in an elevator with a Korean student, and he can't speak English, and the only things I can say in Korean is stuff like "did you have lunch?" and "i miss you." :lol: It can get awkward. But, it's cute.

Edit: Oh wait wait, I got one. Waking up in the morning with a guy who you could have sworn was better looking the night before. :? God dammit....

[Venomblood]

Trying to tell the class what placebo was, while pronouncing it: Place Bow (as in bow-tie).

[tommo]

Too many to recall!

But one of the most horriffic ones was i was on an elevator and this lady got on. I would have bet everything I had in my life that she was pregnant. I mean, she looked like she was about to pop. So, I asked her..."Whens the baby due!?" and she just stared at me and said..."I'm not pregnent." After that, it seemed like the freakin elevator had stopped to a crawl and felt like the next 5 floors felt like 20 mintues.

Ha, talk about akward.

LMAO, yeh my rule is to never comment on anybody who looks pregnant.
Some girls actually just say they're not pregnant because they know it will make you awkward lol. You should have said "Are you sure?" :lol:

[theyearthreethousand]

I was about to kiss a girl and I accidentally puked in my mouth a little as i had been drinking heavily. so I was like "hey, I need to go the bathroom, brb" and she was like "aww, he is nervous" and her friends laughed. I replied, "no, I am getting a condom" - i obviously wasn't but it thought it was a hilarious joke. she did not and my friends where not around to laugh with me (i looked).

[Rozzy]

so an ackward moment...

aha! okay so i was with a friend of mine, and we were hangin out. (it's a girl.)
we were listenin to some music and she was sittin real close as i was talkin to her, which i didn't mind. but then out of nowhere, she like leaned over and tried to kiss me!! lol i was like woah! and she said sorry, and was so embarrassed, and it felt ackward for the rest of the time she was there....

[theyearthreethousand]

so an ackward moment...

aha! okay so i was with a friend of mine, and we were hangin out. (it's a girl.)
we were listenin to some music and she was sittin real close as i was talkin to her, which i didn't mind. but then out of nowhere, she like leaned over and tried to kiss me!! lol i was like woah! and she said sorry, and was so embarrassed, and it felt ackward for the rest of the time she was there....

omg... lesbians.

[tommo]

Oh cummon, nothing wrong with a bit of lesbian lovin'! haha

[theyearthreethousand]

Oh cummon, nothing wrong with a bit of lesbian lovin'! haha

i am not objecting homeslice!

[tommo]

haha
sorry lol I was replying to aorozco

[Rozzy]

lol. it was an ackward moment, and it was not lesbian. just i think she was curious as alot of people are... lol

[tommo]

Are you curious?

Do you have a video camera?
lol jk I'll stop now.:lol:

[CoLd BlooDed]

I believe awkwardness only happens if you let it happen. Obviously I've had my awkward moments, but nowadays I know how to avoid them or work my way out of them.

[Rozzy]

Are you curious?

Do you have a video camera?
lol jk I'll stop now.:lol:

uuumm that is another ackward moment....lol

[tommo]

haha.
ah well at least you can ignore it on the internet, not like the reality of those lusc....
Ok sorry

It's weird coz people (at least around my area) say AWKWARD! in a moment that's really not all that awkward, but when it is something really awkward like your situation you just can't say that lol.

I had something else to say that would make this have a purpose but now I forgot.

[CryoDragoon]

Mistaking a girl for a guy... Right here on DV...

[Eric]

hmm... probably when i had to take this little kid to the movies and we ended up sitting next to some old, fat guy who laughed like "hohoho". The kid kept on pointing at him and saying that he was santa.

[tommo]

Mistaking a girl for a guy... Right here on DV...
Lol I think everyone's done that a few times. Well, at least I have. Hey, some girls just sound like guys, and vice versa. :lol:

LMAO Eric, I'm glad you're fifteen. hehe

[Eric]

heheheh

[Kushna Mufeed]

Mistaking a girl for a guy... Right here on DV...
Yeah, that's happened to me.

I thought ObsidianWraith was a guy (you would too) until she said something about me or something I did was "really sweet." If you saw it in context you'd know she meant it in the feminine way of "sweet" and not the "Dude, that's sweet" way. Anywhoot, at that point I said something along the lines of "Are you a chick or a pansy?"

[Orphic]

When the local convenience store was remodeling and their coffee machine was behind the counter. I saw some off-duty police officers go behind the counter and get their coffee, so I thought everyone was welcome back there. Turns out only the police are. The (very handsome) cashier was really sweet about it and I walked out red-faced without my coffee.

Or heck, how about today? When I walked up to a distant acquaintance I don't know too well and talked to him like he was my bestest buddy? He's my best friend's former roomie's former...uhh...bed buddy. Oh well...he wasn't freaked out and I was too busy being cold to care that I was acting like an idiot.

Or...from my first semester. I was wrestling with a male friend who I had no idea had feelings for me (and by wrestling, I mean rolling around on the floor and body-slamming one another in the most platonic way possible). Imagine my surprise when he pinned me and started kissing me. :eek:

[tommo]

What's with girls getting unwanted kisses haha

[-Blakren-]

Well, my Ex-girlfriend is in the same grade as me, and in all my classes, so, every day is just a little but awkward :D

except for the weekend of course!

[tommo]

lol yeh that was the same as me for half this year. Luckily she barely ever came to school lol

[Orphic]

Ooo, I just thought of another one. I was presenting a project with my group members in psychology class, and my best friend walked by the room, saw me, and pushed his butt up against the glass door. It was awkward, but funny - my instructor knows I'm really no-nonsense with her classes and she knows my friend and I knew one another and that he was a moron, so she just laughed.

[lagunagirl]

Too many to recall!

But one of the most horriffic ones was i was on an elevator and this lady got on. I would have bet everything I had in my life that she was pregnant. I mean, she looked like she was about to pop. So, I asked her..."Whens the baby due!?" and she just stared at me and said..."I'm not pregnent." After that, it seemed like the freakin elevator had stopped to a crawl and felt like the next 5 floors felt like 20 mintues.

Ha, talk about akward.

haha brian regan moment
"when's that.... bbb..BABY DUE?!"
"The what?"
"The... pandas, at the zoo!"

[panta-rei]

Oh, I've had bad ones...

One comes to mind when I was hanging out with a girl who I wasn't at all interested in, but she kinda liked me, but we were walking, and when we turned the corner, our hands touched on accident. She thought it was a sign to start holding hands, so all the sudden I felt something trying to find my hand. (Right after our hands bumped, I moved it into my pocket.) That got a little awkward...

[tommo]

LMAO
Swift and subtle escape!

Um, I need to add another one I think.

When I was about.... can't remember I was in Grade 2. I had a crush on my teacher. I saw her at my cousins football game and I decided to show her my skills. I grabbed a stick and tried to jump over this massive mud puddle. Needless to say I landed straight on my back with mud all over me. Very impressive :D

[Howie]

Picturing a lot of these I thought would be funny, but I find myself cringing.


My ex girlfriend and her family are very religious. At each meal they would say a prayer. Usually long winded. The father would often ask the brother in law, the cousins or other members of the family to say grace.
We had been going together for quite awhile at this point when one day we were at a big family gathering. About 15 people or so. Before we were to eat sure as shit he asked me to say grace. I paused.
I don’t think I can pray to a god that I don’t believe in. ~ There was an obvious moment of silence that was awkward.

Shucks, I should have just faked it. OR I could have said a god I don’t believe in yet or something. Shit… I wasn’t expecting.
I turned beet red. :embarrassed:

Or I could have shouted LET”S EAT!!!

[panta-rei]

Here is a good one... It happened today! And when it happened, I was just think... I need to post this.

A friend of mine got accepted to a difficult college to get into. When she told me about it, I say congratualations! And gave her a congratulatory hug... The thing was, we were walking and so the hug didn't go to well, I tripped over something, and she fell down too... On top of me.
It was kinda like this:

http://66.235.120.64/ts?t=16222537197492211171&pid=23056&ppid=5

[tommo]

:doh::lol:

Howie - "Good food, good meat, good god let's eat!" :D

I'm assuming 'ex' is because of that dinner? May as well go out with a bang lol

[panta-rei]

Oh yeah, I forgot to add this to that last one...

I have a major crush on this girl... Just adding to the awkward... I just layed there, stupefied.

[tommo]

Lol. I remember a similar thing with this girl a while ago in high school. Except I was carrying her up the hill. I got to the top and collapsed lol. So I was on the ground but she wasn't. She was standing on top of me and she was wearing a dress.
Lol, it wasn't that embarrassing it was kinda funny but yeah just reminded me of that.

[panta-rei]

Hehe... You perv!

Lemme see... I had one earlier today (thought of one) but cant think of it now... I'll post it later!

Oh! I think I just remembered it!

I was at a party with some friends, and I started talking to a girl... She liked me, so we kept on talking, and got closer to each other, I noticed someone staring at me angrily from across the room, but I assumed it was someone else who liked this girl... We ended up sitting right next to each other when someone put in a movie, we didn't kiss, but we were "snuggled." I notice the guy from before walk over toward us, and I immediately clench my fist just in case. The guy says to the girl, "Hey sweetie, lets go." I found out that the girl was this guy's serious girlfriend... They had been dating for almost 2 years... They didn't leave, and later I ended up sitting in a room with just the guy there... Dead Silence... I just sat, scared to move. I figured he might attack me if I got up... And I couldn't talk to the guy... So we sat for like 30 minutes, just staring into space...

[guerilla]

They didn't leave, and later I ended up sitting in a room with just the guy there... Dead Silence... I just sat, scared to move. I figured he might attack me if I got up... And I couldn't talk to the guy... So we sat for like 30 minutes, just staring into space...


OHHHH MY GODDD thats freaky...must of felt like 30 hours

My recent awkward moment:

I was taking a break from work to the restroom, so i finish up and clean and dry my hands and i just sorta was using the mirror to put some lip balm on and in walks a co-worker, he opened the door really fast and i was really concentrating on my lip balm so i kinda jumped back a little being easily scared like I am lol...

was awkward leaving the restroom after that.

[DarkComrade]

My awkward moments are when im around people

[Everlong]

I always seem to have awkward moments at the worst times, like when I say something stupid or it comes out in the wrong way. Like when I was in Year eight, and I was having a rather subconscious conversation with friends. I wasn't really concentrating on what they were saying, they were talking about dating relationships, and how long they have lasted. I really thought they were talking about friendships and mateships, and I stupidly said that I had been with my best mate since kindergarten, rather than I have known my best mate since kindergarten. Awkward silence for about 20 minutes. Should have listened to the conversation properly :shock:.

Or when I was sitting at a bench and someone who I thought was a guy was walking over me. That was until I looked up. Awkward...

Or the awkward hug I had with a girl that I liked. We were walking while it happened, and our heads bumped together. Ow, she says, then we both laughed. I guess it wasn't that awkward, but maybe for my mate standing next to me, who also liked her.

And yes, I have farted in an elevator before. I walk in, and there is just one person in there, she was pretty hot. I was trying to hold the fart in, and let it out silently, but for some reason it comes out all at once and it felt like it never ended....

[tommo]

Or when I was sitting at a bench and someone who I thought was a guy was walking over me. That was until I looked up. Awkward...

And yes, I have farted in an elevator before. I walk in, and there is just one person in there, she was pretty hot. I was trying to hold the fart in, and let it out silently, but for some reason it comes out all at once and it felt like it never ended....

I don't get that. She walked over you? :uhm:

LOL those farts are so awkward. You're like, YES gonna get away with it.... oh god....

[dajo]

I believe awkwardness only happens if you let it happen. Obviously I've had my awkward moments, but nowadays I know how to avoid them or work my way out of them.

I agree. To me they are more funny than awkward I think :).

I have something from High School. Actual American High School. (I've spent a year there). So, I was very tired and there were still 10 minutes left in the first period, even though we were finished. (Last 10 minutes were announcements, which I didn't feel the need to listen to). So I placed my head on the table and closed my eyes.

Next thing I know I open them and look into a bunch of faces I have never seen before. I fell asleep and the next class actualy entered and were really quiet and waited for me to wake up, sitting around me in a circle. (including the teacher). From what I have gathered, all the girls thought I was really cute, so I wasn't really embaressed about it :). Basically I got up and went to the class I were supposed to be in (I slept for like a good 20 minutes total)

[tommo]

Haha that's awesome.
Yeh I kinda tend to laugh at awkward situations now. Although I laugh at situation where I'm completely fucked as well lol. Like in school getting told off I'd just burst out laughing and get into more shit. The main year level lady or whatever can't remember what she was called always said "Why are you smiling I'm giving you a detention!" lol

[rastasteez]

hahah yeah. awkward moments are my favorite.

[Placebo]

Hows this for awkward, this happened yesterday (in South Africa btw) ...

Gym Wierdo
I'm at the gym, getting changed so I can get out there and pump some iron. Or at least something softer than iron.
This fairly muscular black dude walks in, stark naked (can't recall him actually removing his clothes.. I swear he walked in naked)

So he says hi, and gets all talkative. Asks me if I know about the xenophobic violence in the townships. I say no, I thought that had settled. He tells me that it's happening again etc.

So far nothing freaky.

Then he asks me ... so can I live at your place. "I'll follow you home".
I say no, I've got enough people I'm helping atm (besides I'm probably more broke than he is).
So he tells me that I must think about it. And that he'll follow me home and I can tell him when we get there :P.
(All this time, his shlong is swinging around)

Once again, I say no, and I swear I said no at least 30 times. He didn't stop. Kept saying 'So... what do you say?' etc etc

Try to picture a freaky naked, insistent, strange black dude, that really wants to live with you and won't take no for an answer.
Also consider that I've got a wife, father, kid and some workers living at home.

I ended up retreating to the kiddie's section where my 3 month old daughter was hanging out, and my wife was signing some papers... and stayed there until I felt pretty sure the freakjob had left.

Awkward.

And another one, happened a few years back..
"Yeah, we met"
I'm on my way to visit a friend of mine for a sort of private booze-up. Whenever I go there, he's got some new friend to meet that I've never been introduced to.

Anyway, so driving to his place, and this moron cuts me off. So to make a point, I cut him off soon after. The usual thing happens - angry faces, a little bit of road rage working itself up.

Until I realise that he keeps driving the same direction as me.. so naturally I get a bit worried. Is this guy gonna pull out a hockey stick or something.. who knows.
He parks exactly outside my friends place, and goes inside... I follow him in, and my friend introduces me to his buddy.

His response ... 'yeah, we've kinda met' :P
Very wierd situation.

Turns out he wasn't such a bad guy. Just a maniac driver.

[Ezey]

Then he asks me ... so can I live at your place. "I'll follow you home".

...? That's just creepy. :shock:


Okay, here's mine:

I'm angry at this substitute teacher in my geography class, because she wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. I lean over to the person who I don't know, whose sitting next to me and comment on how jerky this woman is.

Person who I don't know: ...that's my mother.

So, needless to say, he glared at me from the corner of his eye for the rest of the class. :embarrassed:

[tommo]

OMG lol
That's insane. IS it true what they say about black guys? :lol:
I think that phrase has been said about 1000000000000008593476843 times throughout history lol!

Ezey, that's funny lol
Shoulda said "she's damn fine too"

[poog]

I walked downstairs in my underwear.

My brother and his fiance were there.

Oh my...

[Placebo]

Well, it's not like I check out everyone's junk in the gym, but from what I've seen out the corner of my eye ... *some* black guys put me to shame, but this particular dude wasn't particularly impressive in that area.

[theSheep]

My awkward moments are when im around people

Lol well obviously... LOL if I tripped and fell alone it would be SO embarrasing just don't tell myself, okay!?

[Unelias]

Even by a chance I get flamed because of this I'll tell it :P

This happened years ago but still.. I was drinking at the bar and got hooked up with one girl there. Well that was really just a one night stand so nothing odd about that.

Couple weeks later I met another girl, this time sober ^^ Eventually, after couple days and couple cups of coffee we ended up climbing in from her window, because she said she still lived with her family.
At 5 am we are awoken by an other girl who comes to the room, drunk and yelling that she had a blast in the party.

Coincidentally, she was the girl I had had the one night stand with, the big sister of the girl I now had beside me. She gazed at me. I looked at her. She looked at her sister and I facepalmed.

Aaaaaaawkwaaaaaard.

[tommo]

Why would we flame you? that deserves a:banana:

[Unelias]

Why would we flame you? that deserves a:banana:

Well from experience I know that some people do not accept one night stands etc :P

[tommo]

If you don't accept one night stands you don't accept human nature.

Hell, I accept random screws in the middle of the street.

[dajo]

As well as arbitrary orgies on the market place? ;)

[Kiloisalb]

this one wasn't that awkward, but it could have turned out pretty bad. I was in tenth grade by the way.

My friend and I had been invited to have dinner with my one of my friends and his family. I didn't expect them to say prayer at the beginning of the meal, but while my friends dad was saying prayer i was trying not to laugh, so i kept coughing to play it off. It was just that his dad had a really deep voice and was kind of comical. Also when i looked up at my friend that came with me i knew he was thinking the same thing. We actually laughed about it after.

[Jeff777]

I tend to act awkward around women I'm really attracted to. I won't give them the time of day (attention) if I like them. Eventually I do, but not starting out.

[rastasteez]

well i was with this guy, (we are not in a relationship just friends with benefits mostly) he asked me if i was going to winter ball (im obviously not going with him because we dont want people to nkow..) so i was like "yeah" he asked me with who i was going with. So i told him...and then right after i was like "BUT he's gay! ... i mean BISEXUAL!" and he said something along the lines of "oh so you can hook up with him too?" immediately i was like "NO!!!".
ps. we were uhhh under the covers at the time. ahaha oh godd

[dylanshmai]

Wiping my self off in the kitchen in a friends house because I happened to be in the kitchen, and didn't bother thinking of going to the bathroom. and then one of my friends asking me from across the kitchen "hey Dylan, what are you doing over their?!"

..."oh, uhh, just drinking some water."

he looks over to other friend and starts cracking up.

[slayer]

Wiping my self off in the kitchen in a friends house because I happened to be in the kitchen, and didn't bother thinking of going to the bathroom. and then one of my friends asking me from across the kitchen "hey Dylan, what are you doing over their?!"

..."oh, uhh, just drinking some water."

he looks over to other friend and starts cracking up.

I don't get it...

[tommo]

I'm guessing.... cleaning himself off after doing the dirty work. Don't know why he'd do it in the kitchen though, quite disgusting.

[dylanshmai]

I was feeling a bit retarded, and the bathroom didn't cross my mind. I had some shwack.

[Everlong]

I tend to act awkward around women I'm really attracted to. I won't give them the time of day (attention) if I like them. Eventually I do, but not starting out.

Same, its always like 'hi' and then nothing else but awkwardness.:(

[13redfan]

hahaha I've had a few...2 in particular spring to mind.

I'm at the gym, and I see this buddy of mine who I played rugby with a few years back. He's a huge dude, massive and pushes insane weights. So I see him bending over to pick up some dumb-bells, and as he does I flick him on his arse as hard as I can. He yelps in pain, gets up and turns around, and it's not him :lol: haha oops

Another time, I'm at this friend's (Garth) house for his 16th birthday. His grandparents are coming over from the Isle of Man, to celebrate. His grandmother walks in the room, comes up to me and is like "Happy Birthday Garthy!" and comes to give me a hug and a kiss. lol I stepped aside and said "That's Garth over there". :lol: awkward!

[Techno]

Guys bathroom was locked. Went into the girls. Nobody was in there, so I tried to change. I was just in swimming shorts. Some fat lesbian walks in and realizes I'm in there, and she starts shouting and whooping and hollaring. People come around, damn bitch tries to open the stall with me changing. I tell her to fuck off while I finish changing, and I walk out. I get stares from the big crowd that formed. ;___;

[linxx]

hahahahahah this is my favorite ethread EVER!!!!

i sure wish i could think of a good one...

[dylanshmai]

It was a family reunion and about fifteen old people are sitting on lawn chairs outside. My cousin goes to the door facing them all and starts streching and yawning. They all focus their attention to him (I know, wierd), and then I come from behind him and pants him and they see his whole entire package within a half a second.

(his shlong is huge by the way)

[High Hunter]

Hah, first thing that comes to mind..

Some people and I were hanging out one day at my friend's appartment, right before Halloween.. Then my buddy Chris gets a call from somebody saying there is a kick ass party down the street. So they all rush out to go, and tell me come on man, let's go!

I had not showered yet and I had to make a call before I could leave, so I stayed behind and said I'd meet up with them in a bit. They all gave me shit for it but were like call us QUICKLY!

So after like 30 mins, I get in my car and start driving in the general direction and calling them to get exact directions. Them Chris tells me, "oh dude!! there is a futuristic theme to the party! dress up or you wont get in!"... I'm like how did you guys get in then? -"We went to party city and bought costumes"... "Fuck" I thought.

So I head back home, I made a makeshift tinfoil hat thing that looked absolutely ridiculous, and put on a gray trash bag over my body. I figured it would be hilarious that I have such a fucked up costume, but it would get me in and it would be all good. So I get directions and head to the party.......

Well guess what. I knock on the front door and it opens... A guy in normal clothes greets me, with a FUNKY look on his face. In the background, normal clothes people look at me even weirder. Then I hear an extremely loud exploding-kindda laugh from upstairs... and there's Chris, laughing his ass off at me! Asshole! Hahahahahaha

I kept my fucking costume on the whole night and it was awesome actually :D

[Jane-is_the-Name]

Muhaha

Just today my neighbor(Onahappynote) and I were running towards eachother in 13 inches of snow and we both started falling at the same time, and while we were falling she stuffed a swedish fish in my mouth.......

[Face-of-Boe]

Okay, so... for my dad's birthday, my siblings and I bought him one of those climbing-towers for cats because we had just got a new pet cat. Well, as my brother and I were hoisting it out of the back seat of his car and up the driveway, this man going door-to-door walks toward us.

"Have either of you two seen a gray cat recently? My cat, he's gone missing." He held up a flyer for us to see. My brother and I just looked at each other, still holding up the giant cat tower.

My brother answered, "Erm, no we haven't... sorry."

The man looked pointedly at the cat tower but says nothing. We both shifted awkwardly on our feet, until my brother finally broke the silence. "...We'll let you know if we see it."

"Right," said the man in a rush. "Thanks." He walked away.

:shock:

[Carôusoul]

Muhaha

Just today my neighbor(Onahappynote) and I were running towards eachother in 13 inches of snow and we both started falling at the same time, and while we were falling she stuffed a swedish fish in my mouth.......

wat

[drewmandan]

Here's a good one.

I was sleeping over at a friend's house, and I was out in the livingroom on the pull-out. Her roommate has his bedroom right next to where I was sleeping, and he happens to be gay. The following morning, I was awoken by the sound of him and his boyfriend making gay coitus in the bedroom. When he was "finished", he came out and said, "uh, good morning...".

[Grod]

wat
it's a modern euphemism for 'cock'.

[Placebo]

That doesn't make any sense as 'she' stuffed 'it' in 'his' mouth.
You'd have been better off trying that trick with a female part :P

PS: and this is sort of off topic

[dylanshmai]

I once had a friend scrunched up in a small window space, and I had a hard on and got all up in his face with my weapon. He was screaming because he couldn't lodge himself out of the window and I was blocking him.

Thats what you get for taking a bunch of naked pictures of yourself on a recyclable Kodak camera (I got him good a few other times too)

[Marvo]

^ I re-read this 20 times, and I can't make out what the hell happened.

[Grod]

That doesn't make any sense as 'she' stuffed 'it' in 'his' mouth.
You'd have been better off trying that trick with a female part :P

PS: and this is sort of off topic
Placebo to the rescue derp

[Xox]

Happened to me today, this one was possibly the most awkward thing that has ever happened to me. [That I can remember]

So I was sitting in an assembly during school, in the auditorium. We had all sat down, and I turned my head to see if they had closed the doors yet. I moved my head behind with a swift motion, I didn't know one of my teachers (not to mention he's reasonably good looking) was behind me. Like, directly behind, and he was standing. He's freaking tall, so when I turned my head, it ended up brushing against his zipper, and my head was directly in level with it. :shock: It was so fucking awkward and embarrassing. I quickly moved my head in the other direction, out of paranoia, didn't want him thinking I did it on purpose..

[L815]

We had a company come to our college to talk about Co-op opportunities a couple of weeks ago. The guy talked low and everyone was very quiet. My stomach decided to make strange noises, similar to farts, during these quiet moments because I hadn't eaten that morning.

Of course, everyone around me looked at me like I just released a deadly spew of gas :oops:

[Rozzy]

uuummm well this happened recently actually.. lol

so i was at my boy's house and we were you know, just making out, and like it was like kinds hard-core, well anyways, we didn't hear the front door open, and while we were in the middle of a hot make out session, his mother walks in, and i was mortified. she just says, oh sorry am i interupting?lol

the worst part is, she stayed in the rooom to talk to us about recent movies and such.. it was so ackward and unneccesary....

[magical mike]

I was in Wal-Mart, and I had to piss real real bad.
so I went in a bathroom..
It I walked in, and I was like "Why are there girls in the dudes bathroom?"
I dint care. I was looking for a piss stall, and I thought, wow this is weird, so I just went in stall. Then I seen there were alot of stalls. And I looked down at the floor, and some freak was wearing high helled shoes..
So weird..

[Catbus]

This one is hot off the press. Today in U.S. History AP (which is the easiest AP class ever because me teacher is not at all suited to teach an AP class) my teacher was giving people extra credit on their test for attending a shitty basketball game. I thought that it was fucking stupid because attending a game is no reason to get 3 points on a test. I decided to make up some ridiculous excuse as to why I couldn't make it to the game, the dialogue is as follows:

Me: Mr. M, I couldn't make it to the game last night because my sister's leukemia came out of remission and I was at the hospital until 11.

Mr. M: Oh, I'm sorry, what's your sister's name?

*Fuck I can't believe he bought that, what do I do, run with it? No, the repercussions would be to harsh, dammit dammit dammit dammit.*

Me: I was just joking, my sister doesn't have leukemia.

Mr. M: Well you got my heart all torn up for nothin', I guess that really shows where your character lies.

Me: I have no character.

Mr. M: Well that's no reason to joke 'bout something that people are dyin' from.

I stopped talking here. I got some laughs, but all in all I should have thought it through better and not said the first thing that came to my mind.

Later on he told me he knows a 21 year old girl that's dying from leukemia. I almost laughed and said "yeah right," but I figured it would be better to avoid anything other unnecessary comments.

[Oneironaut]

Haha. Yeah...I've had more than my share of awkward moments.

1) Went to wave at this girl that I used to like, back in high school, when I saw her in Burger King with a friend. Little did I realize, one hand is not a good way to hold a tray with burgers and a large shake on it. Mid-wave, my shake slid off of my tray and exploded all over the floor.

2) Caught having sex with my ex on her dad's couch, when he came home early from work one day.

3) Was involved with a married chick for a short while, who was constantly being abused by her husband. One day, as we were emailing each other back and forth, while at work, I got a email from her that said "Stay Away From My Fucking Wife!" Needless to say, it wasn't her.

4) I used to ride the elevator with the same chick and just jump from floor to floor, making out, when we had the chance. Came back to work once and, after any number of hours, I finally had to go to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I saw that her makeup was smeared all over my face. It left me wondering how long it's been there without anybody telling me. Lol.

Those are just a couple off the top of my head. :chuckle:

[tommo]

LMAO CatBus!
Man I can't think of any more.
Own up people, for the laughter of the masses.

[acatalephobic]

Not as awkward as some other replies, but still:

Back when I was smoking pot, I had a bowl packed for my pre-work smoking session. No one was home, so I was bringing it to my car from my room. I walk out my door, and literally run into my mother. I'm holding the packed bowl up in front of me and up near my shoulders, as visible as it could possibly be.

For a minute, we're both stunned. She starts to give me a look, and rather than face the questions, I turn around as if nothing happened and put the bowl back in my room. When I come back out, she asks me what it was. I continue to act as though nothing happened. She mumbles something about "not in her house"...

The whole way to work, while smoking, I'm thankful that she doesn't do anything other than that...mostly because she was guilty of it in college as well, and she knows I'm aware of that...

So awkward.


I'm an awkward person in general, so there's a lot more I'm sure...but this is the first one that comes to mind...

[Carôusoul]

Not as awkward as some other replies, but still:

Back when I was smoking pot, I had a bowl packed for my pre-work smoking session. No one was home, so I was bringing it to my car from my room. I walk out my door, and literally run into my mother. I'm holding the packed bowl up in front of me and up near my shoulders, as visible as it could possibly be.

For a minute, we're both stunned. She starts to give me a look, and rather than face the questions, I turn around as if nothing happened and put the bowl back in my room. When I come back out, she asks me what it was. I continue to act as though nothing happened. She mumbles something about "not in her house"...

The whole way to work, while smoking, I'm thankful that she doesn't do anything other than that...mostly because she was guilty of it in college as well, and she knows I'm aware of that...

So awkward.


I'm an awkward person in general, so there's a lot more I'm sure...but this is the first one that comes to mind...



Ha. This shit happened to me but the other way round.

My mom had the pot.

;_;

[tommo]

Haha nice!
I remember once I was smoking and my sister came in my room (she was about 7 or something lol) and so I didn't want her to see so I kind of leaned sideways and put my hand behind the table and she started talking and I'm like "knock next time!" and she just kept talking and smoke was just drifting up into my face lol

[acatalephobic]

The time my ex's Dad got drunk and spilled to everyone he had some sort of semi-kinky dream about me. Gah. And he was too wasted to realize I was standing behind him. Dbl-gah.

The time I was at a music festival and noticed a very large sadistic-looking man with a bone through his nose being led around on a leash by a 4ft woman. Made more awkward by the fact that she has wearing no top--instead she chose to go with the painted look...?

The time I was on mushrooms and went to Denny's at 3am. My eyes were like saucers and I remember telling the waitress that the wheat in a painting was waving at me, and could she move it someplace else. Oh, her face.

Oh yeah, and lastly the time I found out my ex got a drunken blowjob by my male best friend. They thought it'd be best to both tell me at the same time, which I thought was really a bit unnecessary.



:shakehead2:

[Goldney]

Laughing uncontrollably in church is always awkward.

I was made to go to church with my school one time, and the sermon was being taken by an Austrian bishop who had flown over espescially for this. Well he 'tried' to sing a hymn, and it was just so bad (he sounded exactly like Arnie) that I could barely control myself laughing.

And he was the only one singing, the whole church was quiet except for his singing and my spluttering. Awkward...

[Siиdяed]

2) Caught having sex with my ex on her dad's couch, when he came home early from work one day.

3) Was involved with a married chick for a short while, who was constantly being abused by her husband. One day, as we were emailing each other back and forth, while at work, I got a email from her that said "Stay Away From My Fucking Wife!" Needless to say, it wasn't her.

4) I used to ride the elevator with the same chick and just jump from floor to floor, making out, when we had the chance. Came back to work once and, after any number of hours, I finally had to go to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I saw that her makeup was smeared all over my face. It left me wondering how long it's been there without anybody telling me. Lol.

Those are just a couple off the top of my head. :chuckle:

I want to be like you.

:/

[Carôusoul]

Today I was with some girl making out and her cousin who is fat was staring at my eyes at the same time. It felt wonderful.

[mysterious dreamer]

Friend's father died and we were at his funeral. We were talking and I made a death-related joke. Everyone was snickering, but told me that I'm an idiot for making jokes on a funeral.

[Abra]

Today I was with some girl making out and her cousin who is fat was staring at my eyes at the same time. It felt wonderful.
Reminds me of last weekend, some drunk couple was making out in the lounge at 3 AM. I was programming in my 'jams. Eventually I looked up, and noticed the guy had been staring at me.

Later, I learned that the guy was clinically depressed. No motivation to dance at the party, or to finish high school, although his girlfriend moved on to college. Murmurs of suicide keep them together.

And now I can't remember if I felt awkward or piteous. :/

[CrescentFox]

Mysterious dreamer what was the death joke?

I don't really have any epic story, but basically an awkword moment for me is any time I encounter someone I hate. It's just SO awkword seeing them, especially if you are by your self in an area with NO ONE else but them.

[ThePhobiaViewed]

This happened to my friend not me. In precalculus class last year we had to do board presentations where we were assigned a homework problem and we would go up to the board and write out the problem and all the work and then describe it all to the class. There was a girl in our class who seemed a bit nervous each time she would do one.

So my friend was in study hall chatting with some people and somehow that was the topic so hes talking loud about how that girl was always so nervous and how her voice shakes and how he doesnt understand it because we've known our classmates for years. He thought it was pretty funny until someone pointed out to him that that girl was in the study hall and staring right at him from across the room as he told the story. VERY AWKWARD I don't think its even possible to recover in a situation like that lol.

For the rest of the year everytime she had to give a board presentation me and him would just like at each other and laugh.

[mysterious dreamer]

Mysterious dreamer what was the death joke?

I don't really have any epic story, but basically an awkword moment for me is any time I encounter someone I hate. It's just SO awkword seeing them, especially if you are by your self in an area with NO ONE else but them.

Well my friend makes headstones and he said the price for each letter on the headstone. I thought it's really expensive and I said something like "Then it's good that my name is short".

[Higurashi]

Death-related joke at a funeral...

Wow, that is awkward o.o

[ThePhobiaViewed]

Ok so this just happened to me recently. I was online a few nights ago talking to good friends on AIM and i was bored and just saying some stupid stuff. For whatever reason I tried to set my friend up to pwn him but it kinda backfired. I dont really know why I said any of this but I was just bored and needed some something to say so this is what i said

Me: I looked up my mom's skirt
Me: *Your moms
Me: PWN

I was trying to set him up so after my first message he would be typing something and then by that time i had changed it to his mom instead and he would essentially just have pwned himself. Yeah I was pretty bored.

Well anyway it basically didn't work out at all and he sent what I said to our other good friends who were online. So they've been kinda saying it against me for the past couple days even though it was just some random thing I made up.

So heres the awkward part. I'm in AP physics today and we were taking notes from a powerpoint and our teacher gets to the end of the notes and then he minimized powerpoint and the background is a giant picture of me in these outrageous girly purple sunglasses that was taken one morning when a chorus girl was taking pics of everyone with them on, with the quote, a box saying that I really said the quote, and FAIL written at the bottom.

Needless to say I was pretty embarassed and mortified. Apparantly the period before the class, some of the other AP physics kids were in the room for a study hall and made that up and set it as the background and all thought it was funny and so did the teacher. So basically I'm sitting there getting made fun of and I don't really have a good excuse.

Even worse is that throughout the day a bunch of people in other classes saw it and asked me about it.

Moral of the story: don't say stupid things online to people who can use it against you .... unless you have a good way of getting revenge hehehe...

[A Roxxor]

Last year in my English class we had to watch Romeo and Juliet in class, and this dude sitting three desks in front of me whipped out his penis and started masturbating to the movie about halfway through class :doh:

It was lulzy and awkward at the same time. :?