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Clairity
03-07-2008, 08:57 AM
This is priceless!! :laugh:


DRAPERY RODS.


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.


On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.


On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring water .


When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

http://www.discountdecoratorfabricdirect.com/img/wroughtironrod.jpg


She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.


When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.



Then slowly, the house began to smell.


They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.



Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.


Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.


Nothing worked!!!


People stopped coming over to visit.


Repairmen refused to work in the house.


The maid quit.


Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.


A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.


Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.


Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.


The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.


He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.


Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.


She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.


A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.


And to spite the ex-wife.. they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!



I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?


.

Oneironaut
03-07-2008, 09:03 AM
...women. :P




lol

NeAvO
03-07-2008, 09:06 AM
...women. :PIndeed, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Still pretty funny :P

Jeff777
03-07-2008, 09:08 AM
Wow. Hell hath no fury...:?

Edit: Damnit you beat me to that line Neavo!! :cry:

NeAvO
03-07-2008, 09:10 AM
Wow. Hell hath no fury...:?

Edit: Damnit you beat me to that line Neavo!! :cry:Haha I was actually going to say "look up" But when I clicked reply I saw your edit :P

Still too slow man :P

Aquanina
03-07-2008, 09:54 AM
I can't honestly believe that they were unable to find the source of the smell. :P

kichu
03-07-2008, 09:59 AM
I want to believe that they couldn't find the source of the smell. Who would think to look in the curtain rods??

I love it. I'm remembering this one. :P

NeAvO
03-07-2008, 10:01 AM
I can't honestly believe that they were unable to find the source of the smell. :PYou realise this is most likely a made up story for fun? :P

/captain obvious :D

kichu
03-07-2008, 10:03 AM
You realise this is most likely a made up story for fun? :P

/captain obvious :D

Don't ruin the fantasy!!!

Clairity
03-07-2008, 10:08 AM
Don't ruin the fantasy!!!

LOL!! I like to think it could have happened too! :D

Mes Tarrant
03-07-2008, 10:27 AM
HOLY CRAP hahahaha that's brilliant!! :D I am sooooo going to do this to anyone who wrongs me. I love caviar, too, mwaaahahahahahhaha. :evil:

Oneiro
03-07-2008, 10:39 AM
Sorry if I disappoint anyone, but I first heard this story about 30 years ago. Over the subsequent years, I've seen it reappear in various formats - "Shrimp in curtain rods", "prawns in stair rods", "pint of milk under the carpet" etc etc. Now I'm not saying that it has never happened, it probably has.. but it is practically an urban myth by now.

Clairity
03-07-2008, 11:03 AM
Sorry if I disappoint anyone, but I first heard this story about 30 years ago. Over the subsequent years, I've seen it reappear in various formats - "Shrimp in curtain rods", "prawns in stair rods", "pint of milk under the carpet" etc etc. Now I'm not saying that it has never happened, it probably has.. but it is practically an urban myth by now.

Maybe.. but it's still funny! :D

NeAvO
03-07-2008, 11:08 AM
How can you fit a pint of milk under the carpit? :P

Oneiro
03-07-2008, 11:10 AM
How can you fit a pint of milk under the carpet? :P

Lol! You're soooooooo funny Neavo..:)

Oneiro
03-07-2008, 11:12 AM
Which reminds me..

Q: What do male elephants and milk bottles have in common?

A: They both come in pints.

Aquanina
03-07-2008, 12:45 PM
It's not funny to me.

Spartiate
03-07-2008, 02:19 PM
It's not funny to me.

Were you once on the receiving end?

sourcejedi
03-07-2008, 02:42 PM
I thought it was funny... but I'm set up to read threads in reverse order, so I heard captain obvious' point first. If I'd read it as a true story, the awesomeness of the punchline wouldn't make up for the horror of it all.

There's a nice Usenet post that says the definition of science fiction (which is technically difficult to separate from fantasy) is a story that _is best read as science fiction_. By that definition, this is definitely an urban myth :-).

Aquanina
03-07-2008, 03:00 PM
Were you once on the receiving end?

No, I just don't like stories that seem so contrived.