The Confidence of Sex

[Khronos]

First off, who here has been laid?

Second... If you have or haven't post your pitiful/cocky situation here.

And Lastly... Remember that the more effort you put in to this retarded topic, the more interesting it will get. I garuntee it. For the more detail the more I will be able to give my awesome god-like advice.




(This retarded yet interesting topic has been presented to you by Dream Views)
:rolllaugh:

[DrumCorpsAlum]

Funny story which will probably get me banned.

Her: Let's have sex
Me: Okay, let me go get a condom
Her: We don't need one
Me: Hell yes we do
Her: Why?
Me: I've known you for a week
Her: Please get me pregnant
Me: WHAT?
Her: You are the perfect man, If you get me pregnant, you will be stuck with me forever
Me: Please leave now

So that was it with psycho bitch.

[jacobo]

hmmm, dirty.

i do not have my v-card, but i'm not about to share that night.

[tryagain]

hmm. You should have made the title a little more attractive.

[Negaigoto]

Her: Let's have sex
Me: Okay, let me go get a condom
Her: We don't need one
Me: Hell yes we do
Her: Why?
Me: I've known you for a week
Her: Please get me pregnant
Me: WHAT?
Her: You are the perfect man, If you get me pregnant, you will be stuck with me forever
Me: Please leave now [/b]

*falls over laughing* that's funny as all hell...

[Umbrasquall]

Originally posted by adidas
hmmm, dirty.

i do not have my v-card, but i'm not about to share that night.
Your mom doesn't count. :D

[Truthbearer]

OUCH!!!!!!!!!! That one may have crossed the line man...you don't want to mess with a global mod...much less Adidas???

*awaits grave retailation while eating popcorn*

[InfiniteReality]

a conversation i am havingwith my sex slave NOW

me: so, come here often?

him: come here often? ummmm..a few days a week

me: wanna make hot love baby for the whole world to see?

him: oh yeah baybe.

me: is that it?

him: oh yeah baby. need to get your webcam going..what am i gonna do for socks tomorow?

me: you dont need sock where we are goin

him: your very cute *pulls off socks*

me: uh, so, lets get laid already

him: are you ready for bed?????????????

me: sure baby, anything to get into bed

him: with you?


me *in gangsta accent*: sucks! yo fat ass is dumped for paris hilton!beech *farts*

him:
:eek: :eek:

night all, have fun in yo jammies having wet lucid dreams while im doin the real thing :)

[Seeker]

Sorry guys, I'm married. I don't kiss and tell :D

[loose id]

Still got my V-card. But I have a funny story of when I was totally oblivious to a girl wanting to have sex with me:

Her: Do you have anything to do tomorrow?
Me: Naw. I have to meet with my library group around three, so that's it.
Her: I dont have anything either. It'll be nice to sleep in.
Me: Definitely.
Her: Were you going to walk home?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Are you sure? Its pretty cold out.
Me: Nah, I'll be fine.
Her: You could stay here if you want. My housemate went home.
Me: eh, i'd feel a little weird sleeping in her bed, i don't know her that well.
Her: Well, you could sleep in mine.
Me: Where would you sleep?

(No frickin' joke. I said that.)

Her: Um, well. I could sleep in her room, but it gets awfully cold in there.
Me: I don't wanna create a hassle. Thanks though.
Her: Would you like another whiskey sour?
Me: That's okay, I'm pretty drunk already. I better get going.

I got a few more stories a lot like this one. I've had probably ten to twelve chances to get it on, but I'm "A little slow" when it comes to that sorta thing I guess.

[Khronos]

Smooth.

So I was at this house partie a month ago and I decided to go with a walk with this hot spanish chick and get to know her. We were both piss drunk and proud of it.

Me: Damn, don't take this offensively but those are some really nice breasts... Are they real?
Her: Ofcourse they are! *she hits me*
Me: Your lieing.
Her: No, I'm serious!
Me: Uh-huh...
Her: *silence*
Me: I guess it's not your fault that they're so perfect, but I'm still gonna need some proof.
Her: What?
Me: To prove your not lieing I need to see them.
Her: I'm not going to show my breasts!
Me: Liar...
Her: I know what you're trying to do, it's not going to work.
Me: Yes it is...
Her: No it isn't, I garuntee you.
Me: How much you want to bet?
*And we all know where this leads* :wink:

[Turkeh]

…Yeah so when’s the trial :-P

[Khronos]

it already happened, I was the judge. :D

[Truthbearer]

Originally posted by loose id
Still got my V-card. But I have a funny story of when I was totally oblivious to a girl wanting to have sex with me:

Her: Do you have anything to do tomorrow?
Me: Naw. I have to meet with my library group around three, so that's it.
Her: I dont have anything either. It'll be nice to sleep in.
Me: Definitely.
Her: Were you going to walk home?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Are you sure? Its pretty cold out.
Me: Nah, I'll be fine.
Her: You could stay here if you want. My housemate went home.
Me: eh, i'd feel a little weird sleeping in her bed, i don't know her that well.
Her: Well, you could sleep in mine.
Me: Where would you sleep?

(No frickin' joke. I said that.)

Her: Um, well. I could sleep in her room, but it gets awfully cold in there.
Me: I don't wanna create a hassle. Thanks though.
Her: Would you like another whiskey sour?
Me: That's okay, I'm pretty drunk already. I better get going.

I got a few more stories a lot like this one. I've had probably ten to twelve chances to get it on, but I'm \"A little slow\" when it comes to that sorta thing I guess.
:shock: Shit...I always thought I was completely oblivious....

[Xisdence]

we want more females, we want more females *banging keyboard*

cmon ladies, tell us how to get you quicker and easier :P

[Truthbearer]

If only life was that easy.... :roll:

[Khronos]

It's all about confidence my friend...

Once you got that, then everything falls into place. (Especially the sex)

[Umbrasquall]

But you got slapped. :chuckle:

[jacobo]

Originally posted by Squall+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Squall)</div><!--QuoteBegin-adidas
hmmm, dirty.

i do not have my v-card, but i'm not about to share that night.
Your mom doesn't count. :D[/b]

you're right my mom doesn't count... yours however... :chuckle:

(gah, it feels like i'm in middle school again :| )

[Lowercase Society]

this is how much i am going to tell you guys about that most amazing night of my life.

[rogue_noir]

No, but I've actually asked random girls in public places if they'd like to have sex

[Truthbearer]

and how did that go?

[Lomebririon]

I assume the success rate is rather low.

I need to go to more of the parties and stuff that my Uni holds. There's a lot of fun to be had at those. I've also got a VIP membership to a great nightclub I never use.

Originally posted by Xisdence
we want more females, we want more females *banging keyboard* Hey, here where I live (the Gold Coast), there's a bar at the Jupiters casino where, on some days, all the uni students go and party. On other days, it's supposed to be full of like 30 year old women trying to take home young guys. If you're ever up here, we'll go and see if we can hook you up. :-P

A guy I know got really drunk and got picked up by two fat chicks, they didn't take him home, but his mates took a photo of him sandwiched between the two fat chicks on the dance floor.

[rogue_noir]

Originally posted by Truthbearer
and how did that go?

Most of them just gave me a dirty look briefly and looked away

One just said "no" in a calmn, unemotional tone

One just didn't make any response (as if I wasn't there)

One told me to "get the f*** away" (this was on the street corner at night)

[Je33ica]

Originally posted by rogue_noir+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(rogue_noir)</div><!--QuoteBegin-Truthbearer
and how did that go?

Most of them just gave me a dirty look briefly and looked away

One just said \"no\" in a calmn, unemotional tone

One just didn't make any response (as if I wasn't there)

One told me to \"get the f*** away\" (this was on the street corner at night)[/b]

so what if one of them said yes...??? hehe...

[Truthbearer]

Originally posted by rogue_noir+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(rogue_noir)</div><!--QuoteBegin-Truthbearer
and how did that go?

Most of them just gave me a dirty look briefly and looked away

One just said \"no\" in a calmn, unemotional tone

One just didn't make any response (as if I wasn't there)

One told me to \"get the f*** away\" (this was on the street corner at night)[/b]
:chuckle: ...you've got bigger balls than most people

...I'll have to try that one day, just cause I find stuff like that hilarious. I think I will use both your line or "Will you be my Russian mail order bride?"

That one should also be quite interesting... :lol:

[Khronos]

nah nah... you're doing it all wrong... here's a better way.

You: I don't normally say this, but you have a really really fine ass... can I lick it?
Girl: Excuse me?!
You: I said can I take you to coffee?

With this line you'll be onto success with women in no time. :wink:

[rogue_noir]

Originally posted by Je33ica+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Je33ica)</div>Originally posted by rogue_noir@
<!--QuoteBegin-Truthbearer
and how did that go?

Most of them just gave me a dirty look briefly and looked away

One just said \"no\" in a calmn, unemotional tone

One just didn't make any response (as if I wasn't there)

One told me to \"get the f*** away\" (this was on the street corner at night)

so what if one of them said yes...??? hehe...[/b]

Then we'll hit the bathroom and do it there

[Rakkantekimusouka]

I haven't had vaginal sex yet -- or anal sex, though I don't plan to do that >_<; -- but I did a whole lot of stuff with my now ex-boyfriend, including 69. It was basically just a matter of him asking "You want to do 69?" and me saying, "Oh, sure."

O_o;

[Truthbearer]

So you suggest we go ask people "You want to do 69?" ?

....interesting

[Archetype]

Ever notice how the sex topics are always the longest on this forum?
I've recently accepted the fact that I will die a virgin. This whole "human relations" thing just dosn't seem to be my bag.

True story: I was at some concert with this girl I'd known for a long time and her friend, we were standing outside afterwards and I walked away for a second to throw away a soda can, when I came back I came up to them from behind without them seeing me and I hear this:

Her: Isn't (my name) great?
Her friend: Sure, ok.
Her: No.
At this point she grabs her friends arm suddenly, her voice sounds like shes starting to cry.
Her: You don't understand, I love him.

What did I do? Nothing! Ever! I felt the same way about her too (still do, even though its been years). But we both never said anything and actually ended up fighting all the time. (Noone else knew why, but we did). Now we barely talk, but she still gives me this real sad look anytime we run into each other. Sometimes my life feels like a Greek tragedy.

Whoops, sorry about all the sad-sack self-pity, this is supposed to be a topic about fucking!

[Rakkantekimusouka]

Originally posted by Archetype
I've recently accepted the fact that I will die a virgin. This whole \"human relations\" thing just dosn't seem to be my bag.

Her: You don't understand, I love him.

I felt the same way about her too

Wait...I don't understand -- if she loved you, and you loved her, then what was the problem?

...

Anyway, something I learned in college: there are two kinds of sex; one is the sacred kind that you have with one other person that you love very much, and the other isn't.

:P

[Gezus]

Well, the secret to attraction isn't so difficult to realise, I'm sitll in high school and by now I've observed girls so much I figured out some stuff. The ladder theory is also good for this: www.laddertheory.com (http://www.laddertheory.com).

I've never had sex because I'm 13, I'm not John Holmes either, he got laid at 14 because of his foot long dick. Anyways, here's a funny story about some popular girl at school that I teased alot.

Her: God, I'm so pissed! You! Get out of my way!
Me: Oh my, I'm so scared!
*She slaps me*
Me: I know you couldn't resist slapping me because of my cuteness, I don't mind
*She slaps me again*
Me: Going for seconds?
Her: ah!
*She leaves, trying to look pissed and I then overhear her confessing to her friends that she likes me*

Yup, this is all I can say, the closest I've gotten to sex is fingering a girl, but there isn't much of a story there...

[Rakkantekimusouka]

Thought this (http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php) was appropriate for this thread...

[jacobo]

funny video.

college is really the place for sex without love... at least in my 3-4 months of college experience. :?

[DrumCorpsAlum]

I reference to above, that bunny video rocks. I use the bunny as my buddy icon too. It's the story of my life.

[Khronos]

Originally posted by Rakkantekimusouka+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Rakkantekimusouka)</div><!--QuoteBegin-Archetype
I've recently accepted the fact that I will die a virgin. This whole \"human relations\" thing just dosn't seem to be my bag.

Her: You don't understand, I love him.

I felt the same way about her too

Wait...I don't understand -- if she loved you, and you loved her, then what was the problem?

...

Anyway, something I learned in college: there are two kinds of sex; one is the sacred kind that you have with one other person that you love very much, and the other isn't.

:P[/b]

Maybe he's gay.