View Full Version : i just heard the most awful story about hillbillies and how i'm related to them
nerve
06-13-2009, 04:10 PM
my grandparents researched our family history and found some kin in tennessee, went to visit them...
they pulled up to a SHACK and out came a hillbilly with a fucking shotgun pointed at them asking you know, what they were doing on his property.
my grandpa says his name, and the guy is like...
"GROOMS??! OH! WELL GIT YER WOMAN AND COME OWN IN FER SOME VITTLES!!!"
that is basically how it went.
and I am freaking out.
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod I am FREAKING OUT
Jeff777
06-13-2009, 04:12 PM
Tell them to look out back and start digging for oil. California...here we come!
Is this a joke? Sorry, I always seem to miss out on those.
If not, rofl rofl rofl.
nerve
06-13-2009, 04:25 PM
no joke. I am completely 100% serious...unfortunately :C
no-Name
06-13-2009, 05:05 PM
rofl rofl rofl.
.
Demon Parasite
06-13-2009, 05:30 PM
Why do you care? It doesn't change your life or anything. It sounds like you're obsessing over nothing.
grasshoppa
06-13-2009, 06:17 PM
Ask them what they think about transexuality.
Tyler
06-13-2009, 06:25 PM
What are vittles?
Food.
nerve
06-13-2009, 08:16 PM
Ask them what they think about transexuality.
uh no because I do not plan or care to see them EVER. but I have a strong feeling that if I did they'd be like "GIT OTTA MY HOUSE YEW QUEER" or something to that effect.
and ok so I just learned that the story was embellished. there actually was no shot gun. though he was leery. and they said "come in and break bread" not "vittles" which is...slightly better but still pretty bad.
and no I do not seriously fucking care why would you think I really cared that much? notice I did not say "I am seriously freaking out", because see, that's the key word you moron :(
So a friendly man was homely and invited your grandparents in for lunch?
What an asshole.
Demon Parasite
06-13-2009, 08:36 PM
uh no because I do not plan or care to see them EVER. but I have a strong feeling that if I did they'd be like "GIT OTTA MY HOUSE YEW QUEER" or something to that effect.
and ok so I just learned that the story was embellished. there actually was no shot gun. though he was leery. and they said "come in and break bread" not "vittles" which is...slightly better but still pretty bad.
and no I do not seriously fucking care why would you think I really cared that much? notice I did not say "I am seriously freaking out", because see, that's the key word you moron :(
Saying "ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod I am FREAKING OUT" sounds kind of serious to me.
As Kiza said, I don't see what's wrong. They were just being nice. Oh wait, you're just thinking this is a bad thing because of their lifestyle. I don't see how you're any better than them if you're judging them based solely on how they talk.
Michael
06-13-2009, 08:43 PM
like an ugly crazy irish hillbilly or a redneck hillbilly?
both suck, i'd rather be a redneck one though.
tnemrot
06-13-2009, 09:39 PM
I'm concerned about you.
Notice I didn't say I'm seriously concerned about you. Because if you seriously don't say seriously before every word it's like you seriously don't say anything at all.
I hate tnemrot with the very deepest depths of hatred!
Don't worry, it's alright, I didn't say seriously, so it doesn't count.
nerve
06-13-2009, 11:06 PM
are you guys really fucking retarded or are you just fucking with me? I'm gonna EXPLAIN the OP for you:
THE JOKE IS, imagine a flamboyant yuppie faggot screaming "ohmygod ohmygod" because he's realized he's related to rednecks. although the story is true, the thread was meant to be humorous...
DO YOU GET IT NOW? I don't care, I was just being overdramatic and silly because- wait was I wrong for thinking that sensless banter was for shits-and-giggles threads?
also the part about putting "seriously" in front of something making it necessarily actually serious was also a joke. christ. you're either not getting it or your playing dumb which is...not funny, sorry. :|
Black_Eagle
06-13-2009, 11:18 PM
Or maybe you're an idiot in not realizing that people can't hear the tone of your voice or read your body language through text alone. I would have believed this thread seeing as semi-serious threads have been posted in SB before.
Mark75
06-13-2009, 11:20 PM
Nah, sounds more like some kid freaking out over not much at all and getting called out for his hypocrisy to me.
Mark75
06-13-2009, 11:47 PM
Well, to be fair, the story he first heard wasn't exactly one that painted them as very civilized folk.
I will concede that, and blame the grandparents for telling a false story.
Nice work, rottingteeth's grandparents.
Invader
06-14-2009, 01:45 AM
are you guys really fucking retarded
the story is true
Off-Topic Discussion > The Lounge > Senseless Banter
Where's my fucking coffee?
nitsuJ
06-14-2009, 01:56 AM
Funny the story changed that the guy had no shotgun, and what he said originally wasn't what he actually said. What's next? You'll tell us the guy actually lives in a million dollar home in Brentwood and has a master's degree from Yale?
It's pretty bad your story gets so twisted from what it was originally when it probably came from your parent's mouth to your ears. Maybe you should stop blasting music in your ears, or whatever you're doing, and actually listen to the story next time so it's not so over exaggerated.
You didn't even see them and you're going bat shit crazy over finding out you're kin to them, you'll probably never see them, so why bust your balls over it? I wouldn't poop my pants if I found out I'm related to some family of cannibals in the back hills of West Virginia, want to know why? Because, I wouldn't plan on seeing them.
You're not planning on seeing your hillbilly relatives, so why make it out to be some bad soap opera?
Tyler
06-14-2009, 08:33 AM
Funny the story changed that the guy had no shotgun, and what he said originally wasn't what he actually said. What's next? You'll tell us the guy actually lives in a million dollar home in Brentwood and has a master's degree from Yale?
It's pretty bad your story gets so twisted from what it was originally when it probably came from your parent's mouth to your ears. Maybe you should stop blasting music in your ears, or whatever you're doing, and actually listen to the story next time so it's not so over exaggerated.
You didn't even see them and you're going bat shit crazy over finding out you're kin to them, you'll probably never see them, so why bust your balls over it? I wouldn't poop my pants if I found out I'm related to some family of cannibals in the back hills of West Virginia, want to know why? Because, I wouldn't plan on seeing them.
You're not planning on seeing your hillbilly relatives, so why make it out to be some bad soap opera?
He was joking. Calm down.
Siиdяed
06-14-2009, 11:48 AM
I DON'T GET IT.
Seriously.
HELP ME GET IT.
nitsuJ
06-14-2009, 01:13 PM
He was joking. Calm down.
Guess I should read that the entire story was fabricated then next time.
Tyler
06-14-2009, 02:06 PM
Yeah.
Woulda helped.
[user-name]
06-14-2009, 04:35 PM
wait... Is your signature part of the joke too?
Tyler
06-14-2009, 05:19 PM
maybe....
Man of Steel
06-14-2009, 05:41 PM
Paperdoll EP, go back to the forsaken hole from whence you came.
Or at least give us nachos, dammit.
Tyler
06-14-2009, 06:14 PM
Paperdoll EP, go back to the forsaken hole from whence you came.
Or at least give us nachos, dammit.
Paperdoll EP?
grasshoppa
06-14-2009, 07:40 PM
are you guys really fucking retarded or are you just fucking with me? I'm gonna EXPLAIN the OP for you:
THE JOKE IS, imagine a flamboyant yuppie faggot screaming "ohmygod ohmygod" because he's realized he's related to rednecks. although the story is true, the thread was meant to be humorous...
DO YOU GET IT NOW? I don't care, I was just being overdramatic and silly because- wait was I wrong for thinking that sensless banter was for shits-and-giggles threads?
also the part about putting "seriously" in front of something making it necessarily actually serious was also a joke. christ. you're either not getting it or your playing dumb which is...not funny, sorry. :|
Wow, Jerry Seinfeld's apprentice!
DarkLucideity
06-15-2009, 07:43 AM
;1110059']wait... Is your signature part of the joke too?
That and all his other posts.
slayer
06-15-2009, 07:43 AM
Paperdoll EP?
Sshhhh.....
Tyler
06-15-2009, 08:08 AM
That and all his other posts.
My posts arent' jokes....lol
Sshhhh.....
Haha I saw some of those old Paperdoll EP threads, but that was before I joined.
Desert Claw
06-15-2009, 09:09 AM
ah lol this thread is hilarious, for some strange reason... :roll:
Tyler
06-15-2009, 09:15 AM
the stalkee has become the stalker?
Desert Claw
06-15-2009, 09:16 AM
the stalkee has become the stalker?
and I quote:
I like you. lets be friends. stalker friends
nerve
06-16-2009, 01:16 PM
Wow, Jerry Seinfeld's apprentice!
how could you say that? I'm seriously hurt.
nerve
06-16-2009, 01:19 PM
Or maybe you're an idiot in not realizing that people can't hear the tone of your voice or read your body language through text alone. I would have believed this thread seeing as semi-serious threads have been posted in SB before.
OKAY...I GUESS I can give you that.
but most jokes aren't funny if they're completely obvious. it's called subtlety. you should get some.
Massacre
06-16-2009, 01:23 PM
like an ugly crazy irish hillbilly or a redneck hillbilly?
both suck, i'd rather be a redneck one though.
Hey!! whats wrong with the irish?!?!
[user-name]
06-16-2009, 06:14 PM
My posts arent' jokes....lol
I actually meant rottingteeth's signature. Is that part of his joke?
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