smart or stupid?

[Imachinchilla]

Well, I recently found out that my crush doesn't like me. I've been trying to get over him as quickly as possible. I've been wearing a rubber band on my wrist lately and snapping it at my wrist whenever I think of him. Is this smart or stupid? It seems to be working. It stops the thought instantly and I'm using it less and less. I am starting to feel uncomfortable when I'm not wearing it because it ends the thought so well. Is what I'm doing bad for me?

[docKnubis]

i think you need to listen to the man
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and go see a doctor self mutilation is very bad and can cause death if not treated
here is a site that may help http://my.webmd.com/hw/mental_health/shc63sel.asp






lol i have heard of peaple doing the rubber band to help quit cussing but not for what you use it

[Roller]

Well you would wanna keep the rubber band on for too long, depending on how tight it is... maybe pinching will do the trick too... As long as it doesn't progress to serious self-harm it's ok, but I don't suggest that technique for getting over someone. For not eating chocolate or quitting smoking, maybe, but I don't really think you should use it for getting over someone - if you are that lovesick that you hve to use a rubber band to stop thinking about him, then the chances are that your emotions etc will be really complicated, and you may end up relying on the rubber band, or a form of pain.

But then again, if it really isn't that bad - not everything had to be super-dramatic - I'd say it couldn't be too bad.

[sitboy]

I think that only you know the ansewer, but I think that if it is just a crush, than you can over come it. But just fellow your heart.

[Amethyst Star]

I think the rubber band is okay, but I think it'd be better to replace it with something else. Make a list of things you'd rather think of than your ex-boyfriend. So, whenever a though of him pops into your head you can switch topics and dwell on something else. That should keep you from relying on something physical.

Just my $.02

-Amé

[hysteria]

Well, I recently found out that my crush doesn't like me.[/b]

it's just a crush. which means, you don't even know the guy. it's not like it was your boyfriend of two years or something. if he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you. I had a crush on a guy for about five years, and he never liked me. I didn't beat myself up about it. I found someone else, and we've been together for over two years now. my advice to you: GET OVER IT. the sooner you do, the better off you'll be.

[ZEUS234]

MAYBE THERE IS MORE TO IT THEN YOU THINK IF YOU FEEL YOU NEED A RUBBERBAND
TO FORGET OR CHASTISE YOURSELF,MAYBE YOU SHOULD RELY ONYOUR FEELINGS MORE
THAN YOU SHOULD A RUBBERBAND.
AND THATS ALL I GOT TO SAY ABUOT THAT.

[Truthbearer]

I wish I could help you with getting over crushes and infatuations and shit, but I'm kind of there myself and none of what I have tried myself has worked... :|

[LucidStunna]

Originally posted by Imachinchilla
Well, I recently found out that my crush doesn't like me. I've been trying to get over him as quickly as possible. I've been wearing a rubber band on my wrist lately and snapping it at my wrist whenever I think of him. Is this smart or stupid? It seems to be working. It stops the thought instantly and I'm using it less and less. I am starting to feel uncomfortable when I'm not wearing it because it ends the thought so well. Is what I'm doing bad for me?


http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/cwm/cwm/uhoh2.gif




http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/cwm/cwm/eek7.gif

[Imachinchilla]

I know it probably seems pathetic that I'm having trouble getting over him, but I do know him. We're in almost all the same classes. He's not just some random guy I never see and doesn't know I exist. I don't think the rubber band is too bad either. I think I just got attached to wearing it. (I'm weird like that) I still wear it, but I don't use it. It's not self-mutilation. It does not leave a mark. I don't enjoy the pain and when I did do it it was only when I thought of him. It's loose on my wrist so it's not too tight. As for my emotions being complicated... you couldn't be closer to the truth. Serval years ago I went out with a guy who broke up with me. I was only like ten so I was in denial. Since he never said why, I thought he might still like me and I kept liking him for a few more years. Turns out the a$$hole only went out with me because he didn't want me to feel bad. The whole incident has not had a positive effect on me to say the least. I guess one reason I'm so driven to get over this guy is I'm afraid it will happen again. Stupid I know. If I could be over him in an instant I would, but it doesn't work that way for me.

[sensi]

I say feel what you need to but do not wallow in it. To get over anything you need to let feelings penetrate at some point. Just don't dwell too much. Its ok, you will find one out there that is right for you. As for the rubber band thing maybe its just a negative reminder too every time you look at it you think of him?

Anyway good luck, do something nice for yourself.

Peace Sensi.

[CT]

Originally posted by Imachinchilla
I know it probably seems pathetic that I'm having trouble getting over him, but I do know him. We're in almost all the same classes. He's not just some random guy I never see and doesn't know I exist. I don't think the rubber band is too bad either. I think I just got attached to wearing it. (I'm weird like that) I still wear it, but I don't use it. It's not self-mutilation. It does not leave a mark. I don't enjoy the pain and when I did do it it was only when I thought of him. It's loose on my wrist so it's not too tight. As for my emotions being complicated... you couldn't be closer to the truth. Serval years ago I went out with a guy who broke up with me. I was only like ten so I was in denial. Since he never said why, I thought he might still like me and I kept liking him for a few more years. Turns out the a$$hole only went out with me because he didn't want me to feel bad. The whole incident has not had a positive effect on me to say the least. I guess one reason I'm so driven to get over this guy is I'm afraid it will happen again. Stupid I know. If I could be over him in an instant I would, but it doesn't work that way for me.

"going out" and "only ten"


:huh:

[hysteria]

Originally posted by Imachinchilla
I know it probably seems pathetic that I'm having trouble getting over him, but I do know him. We're in almost all the same classes.

that doesn't mean you know him.

[Turkeh]

Relationships only get worse and more complicated as you get older get over it now and it will help you get over/sort things out in the future. No regrets!

[nightowl]

^^yes..they complicate you're life so much more..sometimes i think its not even worth it untill like after college :|

[hysteria]

Originally posted by nightowl
^^yes..they complicate you're life so much more..sometimes i think its not even worth it untill like after college :|


^YES DEFINATELY.^ I wish more people thought like that, nightowl. when I hear little kids talking about thier "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" it makes me cringe. :l

[Rakkantekimusouka]

Originally posted by Paperdoll EP
^YES DEFINATELY.^ I wish more people thought like that, nightowl. when I hear little kids talking about thier \"boyfriends\" or \"girlfriends\" it makes me cringe. :l

I remember being in the FIFTH GRADE and hearing this girl go on and on about her "boyfriend" -- it seriously creeped me out.

[Amethyst Star]

Chinchilla, really, don't worry about it. Eventually the rubber band will just make you think of him, as you'll associate it with thinking about him. Just find something that will keep your mind occupied. Also, know that you've got friends here :D

But as was said just before me, high school (and younger) "love" doesn't count for anything... unless you're like me and two years of a long-distance relationship hasn't changed anything :P

-Amé

[hysteria]

Originally posted by Rakkantekimusouka+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Rakkantekimusouka)</div><!--QuoteBegin-Paperdoll EP
^YES DEFINATELY.^ I wish more people thought like that, nightowl. when I hear little kids talking about thier \"boyfriends\" or \"girlfriends\" it makes me cringe. :l

I remember being in the FIFTH GRADE and hearing this girl go on and on about her \"boyfriend\" -- it seriously creeped me out.[/b]


LOL my little sister got a boyfriend (she must be in about 5th grade?) and I figured it wouldn't last more than a week, and I bet her that if it lasted a whole month I'd give her 5 dollars, and if it lasted another month I'd give her another 5 dollars. two months, ten dollars. I was very surprised, but I just paid her 5 dollars for the first month a couple days ago. o_o

[Truthbearer]

kids that young dating is just unnatural, imo...

but I think that as time goes on we will see more and more of it...soon kids will be dating when they are 7 or something :?

[Kaniaz]

They already do do it. "Going out" with somebody was around in Year 1 (when you are like, 5 or something).

[Fetish]

HAHA love in high school is so stupid the only reason high school kids are going out is for sex ( that excludes me im mature for my age :D ) i have people telling me to " hit " my girlfriend is just change the conversation to the weather or Donald Trump's hair. but most of my friends have had sex and i don't discredit them for that i just don't want to get into a serious relationship until like after high school and maybe after i get a good job

[hysteria]

Originally posted by Truthbearer
kids that young dating is just unnatural, imo...

but I think that as time goes on we will see more and more of it...soon kids will be dating when they are 7 or something :?

it's not actually dating, (well maybe in some cases) "going out" just means "together".

[Imachinchilla]

ok first of all I'm fourteen not ten, this happened to me when I was ten. Going out means being bf and gf basically. Didn't you guys have crushes when you were ten? I remember people other people who "went out" when they were ten. Your age only affects how you make your decisions because you don't have as much experience, but not much else. I mean you still have the same feelings and stuff. Are you trying to tell me that if I like a guy and he likes me we shouldn't be bf and gf just because we're not old enough? That's crazy. I know high school relationships don't usually last, but so what? Being in a relationship is like walking on air, it's one of the most wonderful things in the world. Shouldn't we get to experience it? The mistake I made when I was younger was not "going out" with him. It was with not accepting the truth. I do know the guy I have a crush on, we're friends. As for getting over the guy I like now I can't just snap my fingers and make my feelings go away. I want to stop liking him that should be obvious, but I know it's going to take time.

[Amethyst Star]

I did have many, many, many crushes when I was younger, especially in 6th grade. As we all know, "love" is a topic that is so difficult to understand, namely because there are so many ways that it is used. In the context of b/fs and g/fs, it is something where the full impact of what it means doesn't happen until later in life. I'm not saying that having one in middle school is necessarily a bad thing, it can just be misunderstood. In middle school there's only so much two people can do (within the boundaries of decency) and, I mean no offense, people of that age don't need to be so focused on having a partner. Go out and enjoy life! (while you still can)

Now, I'm trying to understand this. Do you want to stop having a crush on him? The last post you made almost sounded like you're trying to despise him. Crushes fade with time, believe me! And you know, just don't worry about it. You've got time to spend elsewhere. Once you manage to stop worrying about the issue, you're golden! It doen't mean you won't think of him once in a while, you just won't have the same feelings.

Isn't life wonderful?.... I mean, until you get to college and have to stay up until *checks watch* 1:15am working on a presentation due on a 542 page book that you've only half-way read. Oh well.

-Amé

[Truthbearer]

Originally posted by Paperdoll EP+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Paperdoll EP)</div><!--QuoteBegin-Truthbearer
kids that young dating is just unnatural, imo...

but I think that as time goes on we will see more and more of it...soon kids will be dating when they are 7 or something :?

it's not actually dating, (well maybe in some cases) \"going out\" just means \"together\".[/b]
dating, going out, being together, being boyfriend and girlfriend...they're all the same in my mind. In fact I have a huge tiff with all those idiotic labels. I remember a couple months back that one of my best friends had been dating this girl for like two months or so, but he hadn't formally asked her to go steady or whatever (rough translation from the spanish concept of "estar jalando"), and everyone was as shocked and precocupied as if the cold war was still going on. I asked a friend what the big deal was, and she said that once he asks her he can introduce her to people as his girlfriend. I asked her if they had been going out for so long and so exclusively (and they saw each other like every single day and spoke like 8 times a day on the phone), if he couldn't call her that now and she said something to the likes of "LORD IN HEAVEN NO!!!!! :shock: " and stared at me in disbelief, completely horrified and mortified at what I just said. If she didn't ask her the oh so obvious question "do you want to formally be with me?" then the whole concept of their relationship would burst into flames or whatever...

I now know that is the procedure one must follow in such occasion, and will solemly and firmly refuse to follow it, no matter what the cost is. It's just too retarded for my taste...

[Imachinchilla]

did have many, many, many crushes when I was younger, especially in 6th grade. As we all know, \"love\" is a topic that is so difficult to understand, namely because there are so many ways that it is used. In the context of b/fs and g/fs, it is something where the full impact of what it means doesn't happen until later in life. I'm not saying that having one in middle school is necessarily a bad thing, it can just be misunderstood. In middle school there's only so much two people can do (within the boundaries of decency) and, I mean no offense, people of that age don't need to be so focused on having a partner. Go out and enjoy life! (while you still can)

Now, I'm trying to understand this. Do you want to stop having a crush on him? The last post you made almost sounded like you're trying to despise him. Crushes fade with time, believe me! And you know, just don't worry about it. You've got time to spend elsewhere. Once you manage to stop worrying about the issue, you're golden! It doen't mean you won't think of him once in a while, you just won't have the same feelings.

Isn't life wonderful?.... I mean, until you get to college and have to stay up until *checks watch* 1:15am working on a presentation due on a 542 page book that you've only half-way read. Oh well.

-Amé[/b]

Yeah I understand what your saying. I think the rubber band thing was all in my head. The rubber band didn't stop the thought, I did. It's just a matter of realizing I'm being stupid. Yeah I want to stop having a crush on him. You might have gotten him confused with the other guy I was talking about, the one who hurt me when I was young. THAT guy I despise. I've just been feeling pressured to get over him really fast. Not only does my crush know I like him, but my idiotic friend told him that I'm trying to get over him. There's other reasons too, I really want a bf too, but that's not my soul focus in life. I just need to take it slow, get over him and move on.

[hysteria]

you're 14? well here's something you should probably keep in mind, unless you already know. girls mature WAY faster than guys, so boys at your age are definitely not mature enough for a relationship.
that relationship you were talking about in a previous post, the one you had when you were ten, exactly how old was the guy? if he was any younger than, say...20, then he probably didn't understand what he was doing. you shouldn't hate him.

[Imachinchilla]

He was also ten. I hate him because he was inconsiderate. He lied to me. We had been going out for almost a year and he broke up with me out of the blue. He only said "it's not working out" and when I asked him what he said he just repeated those words. I was so confused. It didn't help we went right back to being friends. I let myself believe he still liked me. I hung on to that for years until I finally asked him for the truth. Turns out he never liked me in the first place. He just lied because he didn't want to deal with me. Then he broke up with me because he was tired of it. Then when I stopped liking me he was talking about me behind my back and calling me a bitch. I guess it's because I wasn't hanging on his every word. I hate him. He was so selfish to let me suffer like that. You have no idea how painful it was. Every day I wondered and I just got more confused. It's been really hard to recover from that. What he put me through was torture. Pure torture. I don't know if you can understand. It alway is hard for people to understand. Most times they only get it if they've partly experienced it themselves.

[hysteria]

what I understand is that he was TEN YEARS OLD, A CHILD. you can't expect someone that young to understand anything about relationships.

[Hate]

You're right, Paperdoll, but the problem is that they were both ten-year-old kids, so you can't expect either of them to understand. What I think is that every that young should stay far away from any relationships untill they're old enough.

[hysteria]

I know, but she's 14 now, so I'm hoping she'll understand now.