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    Thread: JoannaB's workbook

    1. #176
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      Congrats Joanna!! Very nice!! Hopefully you catch up on the sleep over the weekend.
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    2. #177
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      Annoyed because while I can remember that the website I often frequent nowadays had weird icons instead of the forward and backward arrows for navigating from page to page, and I remember noticing that this was weird, but my overall awareness is too low and I do not know for sure whether this was in a dream last night or whether this is a memory from last evening where the website was actually glitching in which case I have no dream recall and I did not even consider doing a reality check, no matter whether this is a real life or dream memory.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    3. #178
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      Good to see you again Joanna. I hear you...sometimes our awareness just isn't there...especially while sleeping. Our best results seem to come from a multi-pronged approach including day practices, pre-bed intentions and WBTB. Easier said than done of course.
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    4. #179
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      ^^ If I learned anything this year, it's that yes, both day work and night work are required in this hobby. I'm making a renewed effort in 2015 to embrace WBTB and I *hate* getting up in the middle of the night! But getting excited about the possibility of a LD really helps to get up, and bringing in that extra awareness from your time awake can really help chances for lucidity.
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      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    5. #180
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      My New Year's resolution is to overall become more aware. So far it is not going well yet, but I shall keep working on it.
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      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    6. #181
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      ^^ At least you're aware of how it's going!
      If you haven't read it already, I heartily recommend "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life" by Jon Kabbat-Zinn. Just periodically make "stop! Breathe!" moments throughout the day. Once you start you'll want to do it more and more throughout the day. Linking awareness of the breath to general awareness is awesome because we always are breathing!.
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      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    7. #182
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      I have a vague memory which I think is from the past few days and it is almost certainly a dream fragment though I cannot place it: I remember awol lowing several pills at once and not choking and being proud of myself for it. In reality I tend to choke on pills and would not attempt to awol low multiple at once since a single one is enough of a challenge and more at once is not a good thing to even attempt. I cannot figure out though when I dreamed this if I did. Which is annoying because I am I. The dream competition and thus one would think that I am paying attention to dreams, so where does this memory fit? Or is it just a stray thought a fantasy rather than a dream memory, and if so my fantasies need improvements.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    8. #183
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      Does sound like a dream fragment. I wonder if *FryingMan* (ping) the Recall King might have some ideas on digging out the exact source from your memory bank. Perhaps something along the lines of "what was I thinking, doing or experiencing before this memory popped into my head?"
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    9. #184
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      Quote Originally Posted by fogelbise View Post
      Does sound like a dream fragment. I wonder if *FryingMan* (ping) the Recall King might have some ideas on digging out the exact source from your memory bank. Perhaps something along the lines of "what was I thinking, doing or experiencing before this memory popped into my head?"
      I don't know if I can add anything here. We have memories of our experiences. Dream and waking experiences seem more or less identical in retrospect, it's just that the memories of dreaming experiences are more fragile in that we must take effort to "rescue them" from the night and bring them in to "long term storage."

      Sometimes I have to really think whether a memory is from a dream or from waking, and sometimes it's not clear. Usually the thing that helps to clarify this is remembering the context, which is what fogelbise already mentioned.
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      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    10. #185
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      I cannot help but think that having the brief lucid tonight is a hopeful sign that this season's depression' send is finally in sight. it was strange though: My dream recall has been virtually non-existent, I have not been practicing lucid dream methodologies. I had a huge headache yesterday evening and this morning some headache, today we have a major snow storm. This past week most days I was depressed. I would have thought this would be the least likely night for a lucid. And yet there it was. It was brief and I woke up almost right away and could not remember how to stabilize. But any lucid is amazing at this point.
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      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    11. #186
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      Nice! Yes, I would take it as a turning point and continue in this positive direction. Congratulations on the LD!
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    12. #187
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      Congrats JoannaB! Kick depression's ass!
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      “Trust the vibes you get, energy doesn’t lie.”
      ― Genereux Philip

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    13. #188
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      The night before I had a dream that was kind of a reverse lucid dream. I knew that my current state of consciousness was not what it usually is in "waking" life, but in this dream I believed that I was actually more awake than in waking reality, sort of like in the Matrix movie. I was on a small platform, and all around me was a precipice, I was high up, terrified, and thought that any more than a tiny movement could result in me plunging to my death. So I barely moved, and "drifted back to sleep." The thing is that I had a strong sense that I had experienced this before. This could be a recurring nightmare that I do not recall. I have a bit of a phobia of heights. When I was a young adult I overcame a phobia of large dogs in a lucid dream, and I am thinking if this really were a recurring nightmare, it would be a perfect opportunity to get lucid, if only I could realize that it is not more real than reality ... Unless of course it is more real, and we do live in a matrix.
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      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    14. #189
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      I was just looking at the cat on the top level of our cat tree, and I just realized that the nightmare of mine that I describe in the post above, it's as if I dreamed about sleeping on the top of a cat tree. Shudder. And the cat like that.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    15. #190
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      It's been a while. My dream recall is almost non-existent, but judging by the fact that my depression is pretty bad right now, I expect I am missing out on recalling some nightmares. Something's got to change. Perhaps lucid dreaming is once again part of the answer. Got another copy of EWOLD since I could not find the other two copies of this book anywhere in my house. Started rereading it today. In other news I've got the flu, which has kept me in bed for the past 2-3 days. Depression and flu, not a great combination. But got to start again somewhere, and this is my new starting point.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    16. #191
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      It's great to see you back here JoannaB! I am sorry to hear about your challenges. I came across PsyBlog some time back and they have so many articles and research almost daily on various aspects of the mind...but I would say they focus a lot on depression, as well as the aging brain. I recommend checking it out. I hope to see you posting progress in dream recall...and lucid dreaming...but perhaps work on recall first?

    17. #192
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      Thank you for the welcome, fogelbise. Good to see you again. I will definitely try to work on dream recall, although I also want to try to work on achieving lucidity - it always took me quite a lot of effort to achieve it, so might as well start the effort now.

      My dream recall as I say almost non-existent: a couple of weeks ago I recalled a dream in which I had a sink in my dream home office, left the water running, and left the room. When I returned the flood was too much to just mop up. I cried for help, but nobody came, and I did not know what to do, so I woke up.

      A more recent dream fragment: I joined an ultra leftist political organization, and apparently I could shape shift to stay in disguise when going to meetings, so my dream face contorted into a different shape. That's all I remember.

      Interestingly sometime in 2017 I had a memory during waking life which I am pretty sure was a dream memory and an opportunity lost to become lucid in a dream. I remember thinking "hmm, it's weird that I can operate my iPhone in these gloves, never knew that worked." After recalling this memory and realizing what it probably meant, I went home and tried operating my phone in those gloves, and sure enough it did not work, so dream memory most likely.

      Edit: It occurs to me that just because lucid dreaming has always taken me a lot of effort to achieve does not mean that has to be the case again and setting up my expectation that way is counterproductive. The one thing that has changed meanwhile is that I have learned to exercise every single day and have been doing this for over a year, so one could argue I am not the same person I used to be, and thus my dream success expectations should be a blank slate. With exercise I have had great success starting easy and progressing steadily over time, with more stress on consistency than on intensity. Now that I have the flu I am taking it easier of course, for example this morning just worked out for 15 minutes, but that's 15 minutes more than I would have done two years ago.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-10-2017 at 12:33 AM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
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    18. #193
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      How is this for dream recall after I set my mind to it? First night two dreams recalled:

      Dream 1: I was pouring myself a drink. It looked like an alcoholic drink but was not: on the rocks, sparkling water, and then some currant juice. I was in a space that looked a bit like a bank with bank tellers windows. A man who seemed a manager type said to me that after I was done making myself a drink I should seek out some assistance. I assumed I needed to pay for the drink, and I rather thought this was not my first one, and so I had to pay for two drinks. Maybe the "tellers" were supposed to fix me the drink and the fact that some drink ingredients were available for self serve was an oversight? So after I poured the drink I approached the tellers. There appeared to be three male tellers right next to each other that were available. I asked which one of them could help me, and two of them responded affirmatively, so I kind of addressed both of them saying I assumed I had to pay for the drinks. I think that was all.

      Dream 2: We were visiting our friend the childcare provider. She suggested whether we would like to foster these kids: there was a girl that was really cute and constantly tried to nurse at my breasts, and then there was a baby and another toddler boy. They were siblings. My husband at some point was suggesting that I should make up my mind quickly because the little girl clearly wanted me, and she was so cute, would not want this opportunity to be lost. Meanwhile I felt overwhelmed. The constant attempts at breast feeding while cute were invasive. The girl seemed too old for this though I was assured she was only one year old but she looked big for her age. Also three additional kids in addition to our own two! Then there was the woman who seemed constantly critical and ever watchful, and I was not sure whether she was with Child Protective Services or a relative there to ensure nothing bad happened to the kids. I kind of suspected the woman was part of the package deal and came with the kids. Also it would not be adoption just child fostering. Their biological parents were migrant workers and there was the risk that someday they would move and take their children with them, after we had grown attached to them.

      That second dream especially was something else, overwhelmed and pressured in a bad way. Yikes! But I guess I was expecting my dreams right now to be pretty bad which is why I want to work with them to try to turn that around.

      Edit: It occurs to me that there is a bit of progress, unlike in my flooded office dream where I cried for help and nobody came, at least in the drinks dream when I need assistance there is plenty available though my first instinct is to self serve / self medicate, but I do not drink alcohol which is good and also I do seek assistance ultimately.

      Edit2: While I do not feel pressured to adopt kids, I do feel pressured to adopt causes what with all the outrage we and our friends are feeling due to the political situation, and the thing is I cannot handle those causes emotionally right now, so I deleted the Facebook app off of my phone for now, and while I still get all those emails asking me to donate money to this and sign a petition to oppose that, but for now I will need to learn to ignore them and not get riled up over it.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-10-2017 at 03:35 PM.
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      You may say I'm a dreamer.
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    19. #194
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      Congratulations on the nice recall!

      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      Edit: It occurs to me that just because lucid dreaming has always taken me a lot of effort to achieve does not mean that has to be the case again and setting up my expectation that way is counterproductive.
      I absolutely believe this! Even though you are not a beginner/newbie, the first link in my signature speaks to this and I think it is valuable to anyone, beginner or not.

      The one thing that has changed meanwhile is that I have learned to exercise every single day and have been doing this for over a year, so one could argue I am not the same person I used to be, and thus my dream success expectations should be a blank slate. With exercise I have had great success starting easy and progressing steadily over time, with more stress on consistency than on intensity. Now that I have the flu I am taking it easier of course, for example this morning just worked out for 15 minutes, but that's 15 minutes more than I would have done two years ago.
      Very nice! Are you saying you may want to follow a similar formula for lucid dreaming of starting easy and progressing over time while putting the focus on consistency rather than intensity?..if so I think that sounds like a great formula.
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    20. #195
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      Until about 3 am I had no dream recall last night but then went back to bed and remember two dream fragments. One was a dream in which My mother was visiting (which she is not now) and I was sad to find out she would not be joining us for a vacation at the lake. In the second dream fragment I was visiting my old job which I left months ago, and I actually expected that it still may haunt my dreams, however I expected to be reliving the bad parts version of that job in my dreams, instead this was more of a nostalgic visit. Sad and nostalgic, yup my mood swings definitely continue. Definitely something to watch out for as dream sign, mood swings, although there are plenty of those in waking life nowadays as well.

      Edit: how interesting that I can go from remembering only three dreams / dream fragments in the past two months to remembering two per night by just willing myself to do so. Dream recall is amazing how one can turn it up at will.

      Edit2: it occurs to me that while I was sad a bit in one of these dreams and emotional in both, but neither of them was a bad dream which was already an improvement. And then I had a really good day today, in so many ways so much better than any day for the past week. So there is hope and improvement. :-)
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-12-2017 at 02:27 AM.
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    21. #196
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      Well, after the initial good recall I then had one night of no recall, and then tonight one of those weird movie like dreams which I don't know why I had it and I was not a character in it, and I felt uninspired to write details about it so I probably wrote even less than I remembered at the time. Anyway here is what I chose to write upon waking this morning:

      Car mechanics, a disable woman was a master mechanic, presentation, also need protection from bad guys?, evaluating value of a business

      And that was after a WBTB because without that I would not have remembered nada.

      But in better news, I am feeling better, recovering from depression and from flu. Still not fully recovered but back to work today and being fairly productive.

      Edit: Come to think of it the disabled woman being a master mechanic could be about being capable despite disability or in my case disputes depression.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-13-2017 at 09:23 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
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    22. #197
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      Sounds like positive developments overall.

      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      Edit: Come to think of it the disabled woman being a master mechanic could be about being capable despite disability or in my case disputes depression.
      This makes sense to me and I think finding the positive messages in your dreams can help with progress. For interpreting some dreams, the mechanism may be tapping into your inner wisdom rather than the actual content of the dream.
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    23. #198
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      Quote Originally Posted by fogelbise View Post
      For interpreting some dreams, the mechanism may be tapping into your inner wisdom rather than the actual content of the dream.
      Agreed. While I am quite into dream interpretation, but for me it does not matter whether it is original intent whether that is what my mind had in mind when I had the dream, or whether it is meaning that I create now after the fact by analyzing the dream, as long as I get some value out of the interpretation, gain an insight about my mind, who cares when the meaning actually started, well I don't anyway. I sometimes like to dream interpret weird occurances in waking life as well, because sometimes looking at things in a novel way can lead to interesting insights that might elude my usual way of thinking. Making sense out of nonsense is a valid technique in my mind, even if it started out as nonsense. Although with dreams I do suspect that often they are not nonsense to begin with, but even when they are, they do not have to remain nonsense.
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    24. #199
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      I like your thinking and I like your idea of interpreting weird occurrences IWL. That seems like a great way to reflect on WL experiences more and become more mindful.

    25. #200
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      I had a bad day depression wise for most of the day yesterday, and I think my dreams reflect that, especially the overwhelmed birthday party one but also wanting simpler work. On the bright side I remembered three dreams or fragments.

      1. Birthday party

      Felt overwhelmed. Organizing younger son's birthday party. One of the parents accused me of not intervening when some kids took too many goodies so there was not enough left for everyone. While I knew she was right, but I did not have the energy to intervene.

      2. Interns division of labor

      Was working on project not current job. I think my old boss Dr B was the boss. We hired interns to do simple stuff. One could not handle it and left. Then there were not enough interns to get all of it done. Plus I also wanted to do some simple stuff, so I did. One of the interns was talented enough to help with the more complex research, and she really enjoyed it.

      3. Monster killed

      The was a monster or prehistoric or alien animal. It was huge. My younger son was staying overnight at the White House, and animal was killed. I got to see the carcass though it was top secret.

      Edit: Hmm, a monster killed in the White House, that sounds like a political statement. And there I have been so careful to not pay attention to politics in waking life to not let it affect my mood.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-15-2017 at 12:12 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

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