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    Thread: JoannaB's workbook

    1. #201
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      Hang in there JB. You are continuing to get some consistent recall. The White House dream does sound very symbolic…interesting!

    2. #202
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      Thanks, fogelbise. I am hanging in there. And yesterday was much better.

      Tonight I again had three dreams:

      (1) The first one I would call a nightmare after the fact. One of those where during the dream I have no problems with it, but upon waking up I got angry with myself. In the dream I was asking for my old job back, not exactly because in a different role, but in same team. This is a job which while there I at times was so close to quitting without having a new job because the people there and the situation were making me feel desperately like I needed to get out of there. Waking me never wants to go back there again. I seem to be dreaming regularly of my old job so definitely a dream sign.

      (2) In the second dream I was a teen again with my father making decisions for me. Again a situation waking me does not want to return to. In the dream I wanted to participate in some sort of lottery to win a new iPhone, and my dad said no, because of privacy concerns.

      So I was in the dream unwise with my dad the voice of wisdom/rationality - depressed thinking putting self down?

      (3) Third dream had to do with phone again, and in hindsight opportunity lost for getting lucid because I was confused that a phone that was supposed to be broken was working just fine. It was my husband's phone (which is not broken in real life just in dream). Anyway, no lucidity just confusion.

      Edit: It's frustrating that even though my progress with dream recall, and my being back to work and productive this week, and clearly recovering from flu and able to do more in fitness again (today used my 14lb dumbbells for leg exercises again), even though all that points to my being a determined and capable woman who is overcoming this, and yet in my dreams I grovel, am incompetent and confused. Hey, subconscious, catch up!
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-16-2017 at 04:41 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    3. #203
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      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      ...I was confused that a phone that was supposed to be broken was working just fine.
      On the bright side, that seems to be a good sign that you noticed that something was off with the phone…that you awareness was at least better than the average person's awareness in a dream.

      Edit: It's frustrating that even though my progress with dream recall, and my being back to work and productive this week, and clearly recovering from flu and able to do more in fitness again (today used my 14lb dumbbells for leg exercises again), even though all that points to my being a determined and capable woman who is overcoming this, and yet in my dreams I grovel, am incompetent and confused. Hey, subconscious, catch up!
      I feel that dream recall and lucid dreaming work best when we stay as positive as possible. I recommend focusing on the positives of the week like being productive, fitness, dream recall (while still putting in the effort towards your dreaming practices). I hear you on that last sentence…there can definitely be some lag in day residue's affect on dreams.
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    4. #204
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      One night of no recall and one night of two dream fragments after wake back to bed.

      One of the fragments was in my current job (yay, current job not old job).

      The other dream fragment seemed to involve an effort at time travel to prevent Trump election, but the attempt at correcting it went wrong, and thus Bill Clinton never became president.

      Oh well, can't change the past, but can change the present, and so far I am changing my present in the right direction. Yesterday was a good day, and today so far has been a very good day too. Beautiful warm weather, very nice.
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      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    5. #205
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      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      The other dream fragment seemed to involve an effort at time travel to prevent Trump election, but the attempt at correcting it went wrong, and thus Bill Clinton never became president.
      Very interesting!

      Oh well, can't change the past, but can change the present, and so far I am changing my present in the right direction. Yesterday was a good day, and today so far has been a very good day too. Beautiful warm weather, very nice.
      Yay! I like to hear about your positive momentum!

    6. #206
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      One night with no recall, and one night driving a car which is suddenly missing both a break and a gas pedal and going fast.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    7. #207
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      Well the theme of driving and not being in control continued in the second dream.

      Dream 1: Work more like old job but not exactly. Supposed to make connectivity in the field but they want to use local data from the port not headquarters data. At first we say that's not possible, then think maybe possible but likely not what they expect.

      Dream 2: I was running late to pick up my older son from some sort of school event concert. Other people wanted me to give them a ride to the concert but I said no. But then when I stepped away from car it was full of people going to the concert. I said that I need to pick up my older son and won't be staying there, going for my younger son then. They said no problem, they just wanted a ride one way to the concert. I felt like I had no choice. And I was not even in the driver's seat, aunt Anne was. There were like 10 people in the van, and I was concerned that we would be pulled over by the police for having more people in car than legal. But we made it there. And I found my older son in the crowd.

      Things are apparently not as expected in my dreams. A bit longer recall this time, so that part is good.

      Edit: Another good thing is that it works out in the end: we do not get pulled over, and I do get to my son.

      At the therapist today we discussed that at times I choose not to be in the driver's seat of life perhaps because for the longest time it was not an option so I got used to escaping and abandoning the driver's seat and decision making to someone else because it was safer that way.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-21-2017 at 11:12 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    8. #208
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      I vaguely recall some sort of dream where my boys were teens and did not look like my boys but in my dream I knew they were, and they were through some sort of religious ceremony combined with puberty gaining some sort of supernatural extrasensory perception powers that I did not have.

      I think this dream at least in part is caused by jealousy: my older son is a regular lucid dreamer and much better than me.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    9. #209
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      I had a still birth (but luckily this was not a dream during which I felt emotional). Strangely enough I slept through it. Woke up and asked to see the baby I had given birth to in my sleep, and was told by my husband that it was born dead. I decided to pump breastmilk and donate it to the hospital.

      My interpretation: Dreaming is the act of violent creation sometimes. New ideas or entire paradigms or schemas are born and die in our dreams. And that's ok. Then when we wake up we have a choice of how to react, and we can continue the act of creation by taking our thought development in a new and interesting direction, donating the byproducts of our mental labors to others for example. We do not have to grieve for those dead thought processes that until recently we expected to nurture and love. Changing one's mind can feel like life and death, but as long as what emerges is helpful, in the end it's all good.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-23-2017 at 01:37 PM.
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      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    10. #210
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      Wow, I'm glad to hear you weren't emotional, that could have been heartbreaking! I really like your interpretation! Any plans for a WBTB, perhaps on the weekend?

    11. #211
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      Quote Originally Posted by fogelbise View Post
      Wow, I'm glad to hear you weren't emotional, that could have been heartbreaking! I really like your interpretation! Any plans for a WBTB, perhaps on the weekend?
      I fairly often when I happen to wake up naturally in the middle of the night do do some form of WBTB. But I will not set an alarm for it because (a) I sleep with my husband and would not want to wake him, and (b) I feel if I am not waking up enough at night perhaps I need the extra sleep more than the WBTB. Lately I have been mostly going to bed earlier because I am still not fully over my respiratory health issues and have actually been feeling a bit worse, so more sleep is right now higher priority. Plus my daytime awareness is not yet good enough so that is something I feel I need to focus on next, increasing awareness.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    12. #212
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      Agreed, when I am not feeling fully healthy I also avoid breaks in sleep. I was still thinking about what you said about your son and trying to offer something that might give you a boost towards being able to some day match (or surpass) his ability possibly. I find that WBTB is a huge boost to awareness, but mine tend to be longish - 30 to 60 minutes and I go to bed earlier to make up for it. Doesn't feel like a hassle on most nights I do WBTB and is many times a nice quiet "me time."
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    13. #213
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      Another old job dream:

      Interviewed at my old job again. Asking how has it changed since I worked there?

      We went out for lunch getting sandwiches from a street vendor deli. I asked vendor to recommend me a sandwich and prepare it with what ever she suggests.

      My interpretation: what's the point in revisiting old issues if nothing has changed? If old style of thinking did not help before, why am I trying same approach again? Must not give control to other in ways that may not work for me: thinking is mine, need to not let others tell me how to think.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-24-2017 at 04:04 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    14. #214
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      Arrow White House D☻wn + Sequels

      Hi folks.

      If I may intervene internally, immediately plus go back in time, to 15/02/17...
      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      I had a bad day depression wise for most of the day yesterday, and I think my dreams reflect that, especially the overwhelmed birthday party one but also wanting simpler work. On the bright side I remembered three dreams or fragments.

      1. Birthday party
      Felt overwhelmed. Organizing younger son's birthday party. One of the parents accused me of not intervening when some kids took too many goodies so there was not enough left for everyone. While I knew she was right, but I did not have the energy to intervene.

      2. Interns division of labor
      Was working on project not current job. I think my old boss Dr B was the boss. We hired interns to do simple stuff. One could not handle it and left. Then there were not enough interns to get all of it done. Plus I also wanted to do some simple stuff, so I did. One of the interns was talented enough to help with the more complex research, and she really enjoyed it.

      3. Monster killed
      There was a monster or prehistoric or alien animal. It was huge. My younger son was staying overnight at the White House, and animal was killed. I got to see the carcass though it was top secret.

      Edit: Hmm, a monster killed in the White House, that sounds like a political statement. And there I have been so careful to not pay attention to politics in waking life to not let it affect my mood.
      Maybe when you decide to simplify things, you can handle the complicated stuff or it becomes simpler itself as your talent is freed.
      Can this be the old boss or what was in charge of you ending?
      As the very old huge alien that may be what started before your history or seems to predate you, perhaps not normally revealed to you or is a secret unless you rise to the top of your control, could be ended by a new strength or action.
      So yes a political statement about your inner politics or government.
      And how the outer politics affects your mood can reflect how the inner does.



      16/2/17
      In the dream I wanted to participate in some sort of lottery to win a new iPhone, and my dad said no, because of privacy concerns.
      You wanted a new iphone, but yours wasn't broken. Maybe just your husband's side (your control?) of it was which confused you.
      Because it's chance and slim to win the lottery and not earned.
      Though you were "a determined and capable woman who is overcoming this, and yet in my dreams I grovel, am incompetent and confused. Hey, subconscious, catch up!"
      It must mean the dream is about another issue, or the inner one. That might concern your privacy concerns your dad (control joined with you the female side symbolized by his unseen wife?) was wise about. This connection or communication might be distant.



      19/02/17
      One of the fragments was in my current job (yay, current job not old job).
      The other dream fragment seemed to involve an effort at time travel to prevent Trump election, but the attempt at correcting it went wrong, and thus Bill Clinton never became president.
      Maybe this was trying to get to the cause of wrong control, such as in the White House and that prehistoric cause.
      But correcting that was hard and the good governing could not win.



      21/02/17
      One night with no recall, and one night driving a car which is suddenly missing both a break and a gas pedal and going fast.
      Hence maybe your motor loses ability to stop and progress, but is fast out of control.


      Dream 1: Work more like old job but not exactly. Supposed to make connectivity in the field but they want to use local data from the port not headquarters data. At first we say that's not possible, then think maybe possible but likely not what they expect.
      Sounds like being more connected out there, in an unexpected way, or a way not used to, not with your normal old control.


      Dream 2: I was running late to pick up my older son from some sort of school event concert. Other people wanted me to give them a ride to the concert but I said no. But then when I stepped away from car it was full of people going to the concert
      Late in picking up this mature control, does that involve doing what others ask or not saying no though you wanted to which might be eventful for you? Can that be the privacy issue? Your dream before of the old job for the team mean being more equal that way too.

      I said that I need to pick up my older son and won't be staying there, going for my younger son then. They said no problem, they just wanted a ride one way to the concert.
      So you might need mature control, won't stay there or won't be two-way without that, and because you didn't have it, you had to go for your younger control to learn.

      I felt like I had no choice. And I was not even in the driver's seat, aunt Anne was.
      Sounds like for others it's one way, their way, making you feel you had no choice or control. How is Aunt Anne's character who was driving? In control?

      There were like 10 people in the van, and I was concerned that we would be pulled over by the police for having more people in car than legal. But we made it there. And I found my older son in the crowd.
      Correction was coming; it was more than should be expected of you. So maybe your control was blending in with the crowd, not standing upright in your individual self which you saw in the end.



      23/02/17
      I vaguely recall some sort of dream where my boys were teens and did not look like my boys but in my dream I knew they were, and they were through some sort of religious ceremony combined with puberty gaining some sort of supernatural extrasensory perception powers that I did not have.
      Teens is double figures - maybe suggesting right relations - as well as grown more and ranging from younger to older control, powers that seem super because you don't have them and need extra perception for.

      My older son is a regular lucid dreamer and much better than me.
      Like awareness and control.



      24/02/17
      I had a still birth (but luckily this was not a dream during which I felt emotional). Strangely enough I slept through it. Woke up and asked to see the baby I had given birth to in my sleep, and was told by my husband that it was born dead. I decided to pump breastmilk and donate it to the hospital.
      You can't give birth to a new stronger you if unaware (maybe you weren't feeling it).
      So nurturing this needed healing; perhaps the emotion side was asleep.


      Okay, I got carried away, lost control and sped ahead and did every following dream almost (not futures ones).
      Hope it wasn't too little, Joanna. Or too late.
      Last edited by Superman1; 02-26-2017 at 04:28 AM. Reason: I don't have to say ☺

    15. #215
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      Friend Superman1, thanks a lot for helping me interpret. I can already tell parts of it hit the truth, but I will need to review the rest when my mind is more awake (just woke up), any way thank you!

      Tonight I had a new dream about poisoned water:

      Tap water was poisoned or anyway not drinkable. Someone sued the company that provides tap water and they paid lots rich away without letting anyone investigate, so they did something wrong but did not want people to find out what. Anyway, the challenge was what to drink. Would cooking or filtering make this water drinkable, or did we need to buy bottled water for the cats as well as for us? Luckily the crisis did not last long. While this was going on though we had a guest - a man I did not recognize - and we wanted to give him something to drink but had to give up.

      Edit: Yes, greater awareness and control is what I do seek. No wonder I turn to dreams. What is interesting is that I am finding out that being in more control can sometimes seem like being in less control. I may choose not to be in the driver's seat, but as long as that is my choice and I am aware, than I am more in control than if I am driving unawares. I seek to be in control of myself again, with the depression finding myself out of control. Understanding is key, awareness, as long as I become more aware and understand myself more, I will be ok.

      Superman1, you ask what Aunt Anne is like. She is amazing, and seems very much in control of herself, I don't think I have ever seen her out of control. A very laid back woman who seems to know how to be herself and gracious to others. Then again I do not know her well enough, this is just my impression based on rare extended family interactions. Maybe if I got to know her better maybe I would be disappointed to find that she is less composed and not as unflappable as she seems.

      Ultimately I want to be composed like that, but I also just want to know myself better.

      Edit 2: My own interpretation of my own dream of last night is that the nurturing part of me is poisoned, the essential part, that's the depression. And I admit the guilt, but do not want to dig too deep into the causes yet. But it is interfering with my being a provider for my family, and interfering with my being a good host to others. But luckily I do not expect the poison to last long, I still have hope that I will get out of this mental state soon. Still sometimes I do not see a solution to the immediate problem, and then I am tempted to give up for now.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-25-2017 at 09:26 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

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      Your interpretation is very good, Joanna, about that black cat, and the rest of it. Or do they call it black dog? Or the black alien. Of depression.
      I think that hits on the truth of what I was trying to see in that White House - a very positive you - and its secret of the alien Control.
      Realizing you are always in control and having honesty you can't go far wrong. Rather than some bio-illogical alien force some may have you believe.


      If you want, here is my interpretation before I read yours., if it's not all too much at once, and is probably mostly the same:

      Tap water comes from beyond the house or you, maybe government or as you said a company. Could that refer to the company of others I wonder having wrong control?
      So what should nourish you was undrinkable. Perhaps you saw so clearly what was wrong, the pay out or reward, the benefit, your value, would be increased instantly.
      Maybe you would not let yourself investigate, or part of you didn't want to, and did not want to find out what poisoned you, whether in you or relation to others.

      So it was now a challenge what to drink, that was pure I imagine.
      Never heard of cooking water, lol. What's it taste like? But yes maybe that means warming this emotion will kill the bugs. Or heating it right up into passion which can drive you.
      Or filtering out what was wrong.
      Yeah it's most important the cats get good water. Humans are second. But it's funny you put the cats first, because cats often appear in dreams and could mean your independent nature or the solitary side, or maybe going your own way rather than others.
      Putting yourself first?
      And does bottled water mean bottling things, or this, or emotion, up?
      I guess the crisis can't last, once addressed or corrected, or you do not want it to last.
      Enter the new man or control or assertiveness you did not recognize you wanted to give life to, but you had to give up. Maybe you wanted to as you suggested later in that specific way.


      Yes that can be very true about admiring someone, such as your aunt - you find out they're not that perfect, haa.
      But that initial impression you get must hold an amount of truth, even a big one, a needed vision if you like, for oneself.
      Last edited by Superman1; 02-26-2017 at 05:29 AM. Reason: Editing, Scoring, Sound
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    17. #217
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      Fogelbise, if you are still reading this, I did a WBTB attempt for about 1 hour as you suggested, but did not have a lucid this time. I suspect insufficient awareness still, need to work on that.

      Still the contents of the dream was very hopeful:

      Was at airport. Vendor gave me filled doughnut free of charge. Got on private plane. My husband was organizing a political meeting there with congressmen and senators. The rules of such meetings required that one politician came who was not invited, and we were relieved that even this one was one who could be trusted, not one to sabotage this meeting.

      My interpretation: Sometimes i get an unexpected good thing. The plane was a private plane so this is not about public politics like Trump but private internal politics. The setting on a plane is hopeful: getting ready to fly, to feel freedom again, perhaps also lucid dreaming which for me is mostly about flying. There is lack of control over all invitees, reflecting that I do not have control over all events/thoughts/emotions/reactions. But despite lack of complete control, it all works out in the end. Even those things I do not control, may turn out well. And we are in control over most of the invitees, just one is a wild card, and even that turns out ok. So overall a very hopeful dream.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    18. #218
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      Well tonight's dream seems rather grimm:

      A young man was talented at making dolls clothing out of wool. Unfortunately the wool he was using was poisonous over the long run. He knew but used it anyway because it was cheap. His parents with whom he was living told him not to use poisoned wool and were worried but he would not listen to them. I told him to stop and it seemed that he would listen to me, just wanted to finish this last outfit and put it on the doll. It was a floppy woolen hat, light blue, floppy but not shapeless. I said with this talent he could find a place as an apprentice in a real clothes manufacturers. Alas it was too late at this moment his artery in his throat burst and he was dead instantly from all the poison he had handled over time.

      Trying to see the positives here: I seem to have recalled a full story, so yay for recall, also fairly detailed, such as detailed hat. In addition, I was cast as the voice of wisdom in this dream, and the other was going to listen to me. The dream is also about creativity and talent and taking risks to pursue it. Yea, I think that's all the positives I can think of at the moment, otherwise it is a rather shocking dream. Oh I guess another positive, I did not actually know the young man, so it's not like it is someone I know in waking life and care about, which would have made it more disturbing. Of course, I noticed the reoccurring theme of poison. Must remember to check whether I am dreaming next time I encounter poison.

      Edit: another possible positive spin, the foolish part that is willing to handle poison to achieve goals is dead, and the wise part survives.

      Edit2: The fact that wool is poisonous makes more sense to me because I have an allergy to wool that comes from sheep, makes me itch. I guess another positive is that now the poison is no longer in water which is harder to avoid - one can avoid wool once one knows one should and one is willing to actually avoid that which one knows is harmful/poison. That actually makes some sense as I have identified "poisoneous" way of thinking, irrational thought patterns that cause me harm, I had kind of known for a while that they are there, but I may be finally willing to change them / to do something about it. Hence this dream.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-27-2017 at 12:30 PM.
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    19. #219
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      I'm still here and see you making a connection to your dreams which can be helpful in more ways than one. It is good to see Superman as well…he helped me interpret a dream a good while back.
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    20. #220
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      Superman1,
      I was rereading your interpretations, and this one in particular hits an important nail on its head,

      "Late in picking up this mature control, does that involve doing what others ask or not saying no though you wanted to which might be eventful for you? Can that be the privacy issue? Your dream before of the old job for the team mean being more equal that way too."

      Yes, that is an important part of my problem, doing what others ask and not saying no.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-28-2017 at 02:14 AM.
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    21. #221
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      Tried WBTB again, and alas failed to fall back to sleep. Trying too hard to pay attention, trying to WILD.

      But before that had some great dream recall: notice how long that first dream is, so much longer recall than before.

      Dream 1:

      There were people and I was part of that group and at first I did not realize it, but the I realized I could shapeshift into any of the others in our group. We were ghosts of sort.

      The shapes were those of victims of a serial killer, and we were here to help stop him. He otherwise might not be stopped because he was always careful not to leave any evidence pointing to him.

      One of the police officers realized that we all matched looks of previous victims, and that when he tried to check our fingerprints he could not find any. So I had to transform in front of the police to show them what we were.

      The scene changed the killer was about to get another couple of victims, or so he thought. Even though I had the shape of one of his victims, he did not recognize me. I reached for the phone to call the police. He grabbed my arm in a strong grip, and pulled a gun on me and the human in the room. But I got out of his strong grip and grabbed his gun arm with my supernatural strength and bent it out of the way.

      The room filled with all his victims, but it was clear the killer did not recognize any of us, did not care enough about those he killed. So we had to show him who we were.

      Dream 2:

      Still shapeshifter theme. A man who can shapeshift temporarily kidnaps a couple of kids. Takes them to town, feeds them ice cream and lets them do whatever they want. Then when police and parents arrive, he shape shifts into a kid. One of the other kids, the boy, is in the know that this is the shapeshifter and supports his cover story that this boy's parents stepped away temporarily and left him here in our company. I am not sure whether I was the shapeshifter in this dream, the boy, both, or neither.

      My partial initial interpretation: Shapeshifting is about personality changes choices. Do I choose to become more concerned with doing the right thing (as in catch the bad guy), or do I have fun. Interestingly need to be kidnapped to have fun, so need to force myself because fun does not come easily to me now. I know I can be whoever I want to be with superpowers, but the question is who do I want to be next. The fact that the killer did not recognize the victims is significant, it's an additional violation. I matter and have the need and right to be recognized. I am not just a ghost but have super powers. I am strong. In the first dream there is also a lot of showing who or what I really am, proving myself, revealing myself.

      Edit: Also noted 9 consecutive nights with dream recall of at least one dream, so my recall is definitely improving.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-28-2017 at 11:21 AM.
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    22. #222
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      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      Tried WBTB again, and alas failed to fall back to sleep. Trying too hard to pay attention, trying to WILD.
      This is a really tricky balance. I think practicing seated meditation during the day helps to understand what sort of mindset is required. It still takes a tweak, since in "normal" meditation one is not supposed to fall asleep. Practice, practice, practice! Trying for WILD is a great way to end up with a DILD, *if* you can fall asleep. Some of my best DILDs have come about as "failed WILDs" where it took me *hours* to fall back asleep.

      Edit: Also noted 9 consecutive nights with dream recall of at least one dream, so my recall is definitely improving.
      Woohoo! Keep the momentum going! Consistency (of effort and intent) is king with growing recall.
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    23. #223
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      Thank you, FryingMan,

      And yes, I can see how meditation could help. Though I tend to struggle with meditation too, usually feeling like I do not do it right lol. Though I know that some would say that there is no wrong way to meditate. And there have been times when I have had a very successful meditation session.

      And yes, I actually had the thought at some point this morning, that I should give up the attempt to WILD and that perhaps than a DILD would succeed. Though by then I was too awake to fall asleep period.

      I shall keep the momentum going indeed! It is nice to see progress.

      Edit: I also realized that though in my dream my instinct is to call for help, call the police, but I do not actually need the help because I am strong and can handle the situation myself. That's quite positive thinking right there.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 02-28-2017 at 12:21 PM.
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    24. #224
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      Quote Originally Posted by JoannaB View Post
      Thank you, FryingMan,

      And yes, I can see how meditation could help. Though I tend to struggle with meditation too, usually feeling like I do not do it right lol. Though I know that some would say that there is no wrong way to meditate. And there have been times when I have had a very successful meditation session.
      Indeed! From "Wherever You Go, There You Are -- Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn (I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is now my #1 recommendation from my lucid dreaming bibliography

      [Meditation] is about stopping and being present, that is all.
      Meditation is the only intentional, systematic human activity which at bottom is about not trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, but simply to realize where you already are.
      People usually don't get this right away. They want to meditate in order to relax, to experience a special state, to become a better person, to reduce some stress or pain, to break out of old habits and patterns, to become free or enlightened. All valid reasons to take up meditation practice, but all equally fraught with problems if you expect those things to happen just because now you are meditating. You'll get caught up in wanting to have a "special experience" or in looking for signs of progress, and if you don't feel something special pretty quickly, you may start to doubt the path you have chosen, or to wonder whether you are "doing it right."
      So just keep bringing you attention back to the present moment. Focusing on the breath is the usual recommendation. When you notice that your attention has wandered, just bring it back gently and without judgement ("OH! I'm SO DISTRACTED today! ARGH!") to your focus point (e.g., breath). Again and again. That's it! Over time, you will find your thoughts and mind settling and quieting down, and beginning to "obey" you more and more, rather than ruling you and driving you. But don't seek out this mastery as a goal, as Kabat-Zinn says, therein lies peril. Just "be."
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    25. #225
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      Can you receall what dream that was roughly, fogelbise?

      This was my take, or give, Joanna

      DREAM 1 - WRONG CHANGE
      Shapeshifting is changing appearance to blend in or not be seen for what you are. Hence ghost and the real you is killed, in a serial way.
      But maybe you are careful not to leave any evidence pointing to this or your true secret identity? So no fingerprints, until you transform.
      The wrong doesn't care about the right you, until you become who you are.


      DREAM 2 - RIGHT CHANGE
      So maybe you saw you can't just do what you want and be temporary to become this, it might not be good for you and takes away your new growing potential.
      The correction that came might show this, ideally to join with the man like an inner marriage and commit so it's permanent, as the kids were boy and girl, rather than the cover story of the shapeshifter.
      So you were not sure what role you had.

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