Thread: Sex: dreams and reality

I used to believe that dreams featuring love and intimacy (not necessarily sex) came to us when we were most yearning for them. But now I'm not sure. If you're asking specifically about sex I would say it's hard to generalise as it has many different meanings to people. For my part they have become non-existent of late and I don't know why.

I think if you think about something enough, or hold it dearly enough, they appear in your dreams. Like for me, I played a certain game for a long time and really got into it. I still dream about it even after I've finished playing it. I still go to school which takes up most of the days which are most of my week, so I dream about my classmates almost all the time.

I think anything that manages to get to the front of your mind and stay there will appear in your dreams. Whether you thought about it a lot or really wanted it or even really hated it, if you concentrate on it, you will dream about it.

Like noobs having good luck when they start. They think about this alot, so they get an ld quite quick.

Well I'm sort of an anthithesis to that description, what I think or do in real life doesn't transfer to my dreams at all. The only thing that ever constantly managed to find a place within my dreams are my 2 closest friends, and occasionally swimming baths. More recently I got the thought about lucid dreams and awareness into my dreams, just a little but it's definitely there.

That said, the answer to the original question. Sex barely appears in my dreams at all. It is a lot if I have 3 really short dreams in 3 successive days but even that happened once so far. Usually I have a dream about sex like once every month, sometimes it takes a lot longer. Just like nearly all other contents of my dreams it also seems to be erratic in occurence, not related to what happened in real life at all.

Unless I as a male refuse to discharge myself regulary. If I allow myself to overcharge the likeliness of sex related dreams rises as well.

I have only had 3 over the course of my life that I can remember. All were more vivid above average dreams, but still not lucid and relatively short.
But what you do in life does affect your dreams. I bet if you asked say a Muslim man what he dreamed about, and odds are somewhere in there would be prayers. They do that alot, compared to say a Catholic man. Now you would be hard pressed to find a Catholic man who dreamed about doing Muslim prayers, or vice versa.
It's what we do that make up our dreams, and it's what we REALLY do that make up most of them.

Originally Posted by Origami

I have only had 3 over the course of my life that I can remember. All were more vivid above average dreams, but still not lucid and relatively short.
But what you do in life does affect your dreams. I bet if you asked say a Muslim man what he dreamed about, and odds are somewhere in there would be prayers. They do that alot, compared to say a Catholic man. Now you would be hard pressed to find a Catholic man who dreamed about doing Muslim prayers, or vice versa.
It's what we do that make up our dreams, and it's what we REALLY do that make up most of them.

I tend to agree, but I have to deny a big part of that at least in my own specific case, I can assure that my dream patterns are far more erratic than they should be even in my own opinion. The biggest part of stuff I do regulary or care about a lot (even when I try to get them into my dreams) didn't even dare to appear in my dreams once, just with the already mentioned exceptions.

Well it's not so much care about, more think about.

If you were obsessed with, say, a certain car, like how you were going to get one and you were saving for it and you bought stuff to clean it and how much it would cost and all this, and it dominated your thoughts, eventually you would dream about it, or at least cars.

But everyone cares for their mothers, but how often does your mum appear in your dreams? Not very often, if like me.
So the difference is the time spent thinking about them, not the type of thought.

Let me correct myself then, I meant care and think along one line actually. Even things I think about several hours in days in months in succession have barely any chance at all of appearing in my dreams. That said while I'm someone who barely can stop himself from thinking, I spend huge amounts of time thinking about things.

Originally Posted by TheSkies

I used to do what I call dream rationalisation, which is what I call the possible link between recent real events and current dream events. For example, I dreamt once that I had received an email (in dream, FA). I was looking forward to this email the previous day, but it didn't arrive. And another: an object I moved off my bed before sleep, appeared in my dreams.

What I am asking is that do your non-lucid sex dreams occur as a result of previous fixation, or simply randomly? Sex can be used as stress relief, so have you noticed an increase in sex dreams with stress, or vice versa? What about if you're getting a lot, or not very much in reality, does that affect it? Waking induced non-lucid sex dreams I won't count, because that is a conscious decision.

Help me rationalise this, as I believe that dreams are a combination of your brain number-crunching the day, and preparing you for the future. Do these dreams serve a purpose, or should we just enjoy them? as I assume we do...

The sex that appears in your dreams is possibly a reflection of life situations that are occurring. Your brain uses the sex as part of it's own personal symbolic dictionary language. The sex either represents your sexual interests (if you are having a lot of sex) or it represents positive life experiences you are having. Sex in general usually appears in dreams around times of enjoyable or positive experience.

To answer your question with any real valuable insight we need to know a bit more about what's happening in your life around the time you had these dreams.