Hi all. I'm new here. I'm not sure where I should post, but I saw this area and thought it would be most appropriate.
First off, my dreams always consist of scary events. Usually they are massive floods, earthquakes, witnessing volcanoes erupt right outside my house with black skies (Which I actually went back to the same dream over 3 times), sitting on a mountain top with a desert field in front of me.. with hundreds of tornadoes miles down from me.. UFO's landing (Don't laugh ;D) Fire surrounding me, fiery meteor showers.. Or, the one where I had taken a nap and had a dream of myself being held back by my brothers, while kicking and screaming in a hospital.. It never made any sense to me. But, my Father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that SAME day I had that dream. I received a phone call hours later with the news. My dreams are never normal. And most of them, will leave me wide awake in my bed, due to fear. Fighting my sleep, because I don't want to go back to that same dream.
All of them either consist of, natural disasters or what I think of them to be.. Armageddon type of dreams. Very vivid. Always, always vivid. They seem to be so real, that I hardly ever know that I'm dreaming.
For the past 3 weeks, I have been getting woken up every single night at 3AM. It's never a precise time. But, always around 3AM. Last night, I woke up in a state of panic. My cousin, who was 14, committed suicide years ago. I was 13, she was 14. I lived right across the street from her. I remember the day, actually. She had called me to ask me to come over and hang out. I was busy listening to music and cleaning my room. I had no idea what was about to happen. Well, not to long after that, my Aunt and Uncle came home from shopping, to find their daughter in the garage, dead. I was so young, that I didn't understand. I didn't believe it and didn't cry until I went to her funeral. There were days that it took me very long to accept it and realize what had happened. I didn't like crying in front of others, so when I was alone, that was when I would mourn her death, after realization and acceptance of her passing. I have had one of two dreams of her.
Years ago, I dreamt that her and I were sitting on the couch at a family gathering, in an old house that she had never been to. Her mother was sitting on her left, I on her right. Having a great time. Then something hit me hard. A weird feeling I can't describe. I then looked at her and said.. "Aren't you dead?" She smiled and I had woken up. Now, I've been told I "Let her go." I'm not really sure if I understand that correctly.
Anyway, last night.. I dreamt of her again, but this time it was more of a nightmare. I was sleeping in my dream, in the same room, same setting, same place. I was woken up to my cousin in my room. Now, what is weird about this, was that she was a child. I could see her dress. It was stripped, but she had no face, but I could see her blonde hair. I panicked, as she was trying to play with me.. (I think that's what she was doing, because she was laughing and running around me) During that time, I was trying to get up, but I couldn't. I was screaming no, over and over again. Screaming bloody murder. My body wouldn't move, I could barely scream. My screams were never loud enough to get the attention of anyone if they were close. I do remember, after a minute or so, I somehow grabbed my son who was sleeping next to me, and ran outside. But, as I'm editing this.. I now remember that before I actually got up to run outside, I managed to get up in my room. She was chasing me in circles, laughing. Then, that's when I ended up outside.. Screaming.. my neighbors saw me and I was asking where my Mother was. Now, this place didn't look like my house. It was very dark and I didn't recognize my surroundings or anyone. So, my neighbors are taking me to my Mother's house. We are running through dirt, I have my son (3 years old) in my arms.. and we finally find my Mother. She is with friends, some family and her fiance. I remember hiding and peaking around the corner. I don't know why. My neighbor whispered in my Mother's ear and that's when everyone starred at me. My Mother walked towards me and I told her what had happened.. (I think). She then said, "Hunny, You don't remember? I just got back from picking you up at the hospital. You had a stroke." Now.. I have NO idea what that's supposed to mean, and that really scared me. I then looked down and saw a hospital bracelet on my left wrist. Somehow.. I ended up BACK in my bed. Same setting I described above, but my cousin was gone. I remember screaming, but still couldn't wake up. After a while, I did wake up. I remembered, that when I woke up.. I was saying something, but it was mumbled and felt as if I couldn't get it out. I looked at the clock.. and well, it's was 3:14AM.
During this entire dream, I felt nothing but panic. I felt as if my body was paralyzed. The screaming felt as if I didn't have a mouth. Meaning, the more I tried to scream, the tighter my mouth was.
My cousin and I were best friends. We were 11 months apart. Did everything together. We were like sisters.
I went back to sleep and never had the same dream. I don't know if I dreamt again, because I can't remember anything after that. Can anyone help me with this? I'm a little lost at the moment and I'm still terrified as to what's going on. All I have, are nightmares. No pleasant dreams. ALWAYS nightmares.