Thread: -very- disturbing sexual dreams, need help understanding why I'm getting them

i have only had one really dodgy dream relating to this, but i just tried my hardest to not think about it and therefore it never appeared in my dreams again.
I wouldn't worry why you are getting these dreams as obviously dreams are just random things being thrown out by your brain, it doesn't mean your attracted to these people or are interested in dong any of these things. Hopefully someone here can help more.

One point: having such dreams does not mean that you secretly have such desires in waking life, so no need to worry about sexual attraction to animals or incest, unless you ha e had such desires in waking life having them in dreams does not mean that you actually desire such sex.

Wolves have often been used in fictional stories and fairy tales. There is a lot of symbolism in our culture about wolves and ware wolves, and quite a bit of sexual connotations which do not mean that we as a culture actually are attracted to wolves, but rather wolves are used symbolically. A man with a bad boy reputation may be called a big bad wolf, and if he pretends to be innocent to attract an innocent we say that he is like a wolf in sheep's clothing. On the other hand actual wolves are known for mating for life and having strong pack loyalty, and that is also known in our culture, so you could have dreamed this dream because you were hoping to have sex with someone with strong family values.

The dreams about making out with childhood friend and with cousin may have been meant to shock you. Sometimes I think our subconscious likes sticking it to the conscious. Showing it something meant to provoke a strong negative response. These dreams could have been due to strong taboos: having sex with childhood friend and family member are taboo to you, so your subconscious shows them to you in nightmares basically. I believe that one can have nightmares that are not scary while they happen but only become nightmares once we wake up and remember the dream and feel shocked by it. Those kinds of nightmares are my least favorite because then I also tend to feel guilty over not realizing in the dream that this is inappropriate. The thing to remember is that while you are in a non-lucid dream, the sense of right and wrong is often not aware enough, and we shouldn't feel guilty or blame ourselves because not only are we not in control but logic and morals are not getting applied - out brain is adding 2+2=swan and not realizing that there is anything wrong with flying hippos or killing people.

Sometimes such dreams also may have some symbolic message from subconscious or you can look at them and find a useful insight even if the meaning was not originally there (or maybe was, who knows).

However, some dreams are maybe better forgotten or ignored, and some of yours might fall into that category for you.

Would you benefit from relief of such dreams?

Originally Posted by 101Volts

Would it be beneficial if the dreams stopped altogether?

If he doesn't like them, then of course it would be.. What do you mean?

Originally Posted by Phased

If he doesn't like them, then of course it would be.. What do you mean?

I sometimes start off a reply slowly and I like to determine certain things first so I may write something that is more helpful.

I can't read his mind beyond that which he tells and I'm not assuming he doesn't want to have them, He didn't say. (Though I do gather that he said they're disturbing and wearing. If I'm slow here, Please forgive me.)

Originally Posted by 101Volts

Would you benefit from relief of such dreams?

Well, it would be nice to completely understand these dreams, and of course the first dream with the wolf really made me question quite a few things about myself, primarily the fact that it was homosexual and there of course is the bestiality. (it counts if it's a bipedal creature [lycan in nature] as bestiality, yes?) Knowing that it doesn't mean that I'm subconsciously homosexual or I have a fetish for having sex with wolves really helps me out. As far as "enjoying" the dreams, physical gratification doesn't mean that I liked it in my mind.

Originally Posted by WheezerX

Well, it would be nice to completely understand these dreams, and of course the first dream with the wolf really made me question quite a few things about myself, primarily the fact that it was homosexual and there of course is the bestiality. (it counts if it's a bipedal creature [lycan in nature] as bestiality, yes?) Knowing that it doesn't mean that I'm subconsciously homosexual or I have a fetish for having sex with wolves really helps me out. As far as "enjoying" the dreams, physical gratification doesn't mean that I liked it in my mind.

As said earlier unless you also have such urges while awake, I would not make any assumptions about your sexuality based on dreams alone. Dreams have a lot of possible reasons behind them: some dreams are wish fulfillment while others are there to shock you by breaking your taboos in dreams which doesn't necessarily mean the taboos are not taboos for you but rather the opposite. It is your urges while waking that determine your sexual orientation and preferences, not your dreams which can be thoroughly f'ed up sometimes just because they are crazy dreams and your mind may not be fully there in dreams, so unless your waking mind confirms a dream to be telling you something about yourself, do not assume that the dream is supposed to be taken literally or necessarily even seriously - it may or may not be, it's your waking mind's interpretation and instincts that matter in such a case.

It's difficult for me to interpret your dream. If you feel as if you could be attracted to such things and you feel it's not good to do such, Then you are able to find a way away from it if you search and ask; Just be persistent about finding a way away.

And on another note, When I had an "Urge"; If I ignored it long enough it would go away. It was like having junk food withdrawal but I managed to stop after I had help. (I had to search for "How to not m--------e", Fill in the dashes.)

And yes, I've had similar dreams too, One in which someone who looked like the Smeagol character from LOTR was in a room with windows that was surrounded by what I'll refer to as harlot characters engaging in despicable acts. But, The characters weren't trying to break down the door or break the windows to get at him; The only door handle was red hot, Though. The only way he would've been able to be harmed by the characters would've been if he opened the door and his hand would've been burned in the process.

Our culture is riddled with sexual imagery...From advertisments, movies, music, to expectations placed on us about what it is to be a man, or a woman...These images and such can play themselves out in our dreams. The Twilight series interweaves the ideas of vampires/werewolves and romance/sex together. It's not that far of a stretch to see how they could end up playing themselves out in reference to your own thoughts about sexuality.

Wolves have a very intricate society, the Alpha males and such being the dominant. I don't know why this is coming to my mind, except that it may help in describing the following thoughts about the wolf part of your dream.

As I always preface, images and characters in dreams can be relaying aspects of ourselves for consideration...

Rather than thinking of the wolf as a male half of a homosexual encounter...Think of the wolf as an aspect of yourself. The question then would be, what exactly do you associate with wolves, and a male one at that. At your current age hormones are in high gear right. You are at what many call the sexual peak of a young man. I do not necessarily agree with that assessment, but if the mass consciousness agrees on a subscious level about such things, then we can easily be influenced to hold such things as truth. Sorry, I digress.

Sex is an intimate union between two individuals. In the case of two aspects of self becoming more intimate with one another, I would see this as your more animal/sexual self, seeking to be more fully integrated into your whole being. I don't think you have to worry about it as a symbol of what your desired sexuality is.

Sometimes dreams of sex with friends/family can be speaking to you of a desire to connect on a more personal level with friends/family. It doesn't get more personal than sharing ones bare self.

Because we live in a society that uses sex as a tool to sell products, intice the use of services, etc...yet, still holds to taboos, and even attempts to make us feel guilty for being sexual, our subconscious mind can play hell with us about sexual thoughts/urges/etc.

You are young, and still trying to find a solid footing in your own desires, while dealing with the guilt/trama/taboos associated with sex. It's quite normal that dreams like this will occur. Try not to take them too literally and review what it is you feel comfortable about exploring in your waking life.

Personally, I have noticed that when I have not engaged in sex for an extended period of time, the strong desire to do so can be played out in Dreamtime...

Try not to stress out over these dreams. It's very normal for such dreams to occur. Instead give yourself a firm pat on the back for being brave enough to seek assistance in their meanings..

Dream on...

Sorry for the much late response, I've been busy with work (home and on the job).

What I think of, when I think of a wolf, is a strong creature, something that would be a loyal companion. Wolves also represent, to me, strong family values (packs). They are beautiful creatures and represent a lot of good things to me.

I was mostly caught off guard that it was male, but I don't think I should even mind it that much after thinking about it. I've never been attracted to other males (I was in the military, public showers in boot camp, I don't think there would have been a faster way to find out if I had an interest in men or not lol), but when it comes to animals, I've always felt a closeness. I've formed bonds with many animals over my life that I feel are stronger than quite a few people I know, nothing better to come home to then a companion who is legitimately happy to just see you.

I really appreciate all the information, this has been great to just hear interpretations from people with experience with this stuff.

Just a few additional thoughts about these upsetting dreams:

For example, their being reoccurring ones shows that they are dealing with very important issues which it’s important to resolve in some reasonable way.

If they’ve stopped now after you’ve been thinking over the earlier replies, then you may be on track to keeping them from returning because certain relevant attitudes etc. in your life are now more up front.

In order to help bolster things if they have stopped, or if perhaps they might start again, it may help you to know that because the first dream contained a ruined town with mysterious symbols on some of the walls, and also contained a talking “animal”, these factors indicate that the dream came from a very deep, instinctive layer of your psyche in order to provide help in dealing with some mostly unconscious issue or issues.

As mentioned in earlier replies, the image of animals in dreams is meant to help us to get in touch with the body, the instincts and emotions.

The dream shows the wolves as emerging from a derelict, ruined place and chasing you.

This would tend to show metaphorically that a certain area of your life and experience has been mostly ignored and allowed to “fall into ruins” for some reason.

Also metaphorically, the wolves symbolize your instinctive side which is “angry” with you because of this neglect, and which could therefore tend to “chase” you.

In a practical way, this could appear in various changing emotional and physical symptoms over time such as tending to be anxious for no apparent reason, or being prone to sudden inexplicable outbursts of anger or other emotions, or feeling doubtful overall about your “direction” and self-worth, or in getting ill too often etc. etc.

The dream could also be hinting at a greater danger in that the bi-pedal wolf-like creature takes you further into your unconscious (into the woods) and apparently “violates” you forcibly.

The danger could be that you’d be “forced” in a “perverse way” (since you are heterosexual) into accepting your instinctive side and this could result in various personal disasters.

It’s great that you’ve provided a series of dreams because I think the next two dreams try to show the issue from different angles as a series of dreams usually does if the dreamer hasn’t understood enough about a given problem as yet.

Perhaps there’s an “upping the ante” with each new dream as it were (i.e. have sex with the sister of a good friend, then have sex incestuously with your cousin) in order to help you understand how crucial the issue is that needs to be dealt with.

Maybe the shift from a “homosexual” image to heterosexual situations is trying to get across what could potentially happen if the instincts inside you aren’t faced, accepted and made more “civilized”.

That is, “perverse”, powerful and inappropriate sexual impulses could emerge at very unexpected times from your unconscious (i.e. from the “back yard”, the “basement”), potentially causing all kinds of negative outcomes, perhaps to the point of understandably having you shy away from emotions and intimate relationships even further which could result in a circle of increasing difficulties in this area of your life.

From what you’ve said about your bonding with animals, it looks like you may generally view them as “safer” than people and perhaps hesitate, as we all often do, to enter the sometimes roiling emotions which can surround intimate personal relationships.

If so, you might like to read “Meeting the Shadow”, edited by Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams. It covers the concept of the earthy, emotional side of human nature that we may not be very comfortable with sometimes, and covers how to deal with it in detail. It's easy to read, being composed of many short articles by various authors inside and outside the psychological community.

Anyway, I hope that these additional thoughts about your dreams can be helpful in some way.

Sorry to dig up the old post, I've just re-found the post and read athanor's post, really mind blowing stuff everyone. I've always thought I was just some closet pervert because of those dreams but between all the posts I really understand it now.

I haven't had those dreams in a long time now, I've done a lot of reflecting on it and I think I've settled it in my own mind.

again, thanks for the help!

If you have disturbing dreams, that's your problem. A dream is created by your thoughts, what you think of, happens. Basically in a dream, YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY
Have you been having bad thoughts lately? It's all in your head. A dream is a reflection of your mental processes, so if you have a bad dream that means your thoughts are bad. You can't have a dream about something you don't know about. All dreams are part of your imagination which is a sum of all you experiences, thoughts, emotions. By reading the dream journals of people I can really tell what that person thinks about.

Originally Posted by Zeater

If you have disturbing dreams, that's your problem. A dream is created by your thoughts, what you think of, happens. Basically in a dream, YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY
Have you been having bad thoughts lately? It's all in your head. A dream is a reflection of your mental processes, so if you have a bad dream that means your thoughts are bad. You can't have a dream about something you don't know about. All dreams are part of your imagination which is a sum of all you experiences, thoughts, emotions. By reading the dream journals of people I can really tell what that person thinks about.

You're describing lucid dreaming, you realize that right? I don't have lucid dreams, all of this stuff is happening on a sub-conscious level and the point of these threads is to have people who are experienced and trained with this help others understand their dreams. A blanket "it's your problem" is very unprofessional and comes off as very amateurish if you are experienced with this stuff. I know it's my problem but I don't control what goes on in my dreams, I don't have lucid dreaming.

I appreciate the help and insight from everyone else though.

Bumping up a thread from what was Page 2 when I looked.

Originally Posted by WheezerX

You're describing lucid dreaming, you realize that right? I don't have lucid dreams, all of this stuff is happening on a sub-conscious level and the point of these threads is to have people who are experienced and trained with this help others understand their dreams. A blanket "it's your problem" is very unprofessional and comes off as very amateurish if you are experienced with this stuff. I know it's my problem but I don't control what goes on in my dreams, I don't have lucid dreaming.

I appreciate the help and insight from everyone else though.

Actually you can control what happens when you're dreaming even if you're not lucid-dreaming. I've done it, I was going to do something (keeping it PG here) but then I thought "God said none of that!" and suddenly the whole dream world changed and I went downstairs in my house, Saw my grandma who had physically died and I eventually went outside and looked around the neighborhood. Some houses which I had known in the physical world weren't there while others were and I saw people going around doing business, yet I had a fence around my house which I wonder if I had put there or not. It certainly would stop me from looking out at what's going on if a fence is in the way, and others from looking in or at least that's what I think. What gives?

Another time, my thoughts prevented me from trying to do something lecherous because I thought "Does this girl have the heart of Jesus Christ?" (Undoubtedly I was having other inane dreams prior to that one)

Yet another dream; While writing something down and committing to it I was raised up out of where I was and I woke up.

One more: Prior to dreaming I had committed to not allowing Zombies or Vampires in my life. So what happened next? An Anti-Zombie dream. A bunch of Zombies at a food court said they could eat rice (that's what I remember them saying, food-wise) but "They found flesh to be motivating" and then they started walking toward me and some other people near me. I wasn't fond of the idea but everyone else didn't really get it and I evaded the Zombies. (It's not a good idea to get too close to a Zombie.)

Also, if anything I said in past posts was truly inane and void of sense then disregard it.