Recurring dream: Looking for a Knife

Hi guys,
For two non sequential nights, I've had dreams that involved my searching for a knife. I'm sorry for the vague descriptions, but most of the details escape my memory now from the first night:
The first night - I knew someone was going to come and hurt me as I slept, so I found a sharp knife and as I waited, I gripped the knife by my side. I was in a bed, and I was under the covers. I felt an impending sense of dread knowing that someone would be coming to hurt me. Eventually I had a confrontation with the people looking for me - and my knife was extremely sharp - it sliced effectively and easily and I was able to defend myself. I remember being excited about getting a knife that would defend me.

The second night - I had a similar situation - I was at a school-like institution with a group of people I felt familiar with. Suddenly there arose a situation that I knew I needed to defend myself - so I went about searching for a knife. We were waiting together with each other as the intruders made their way to us. I remember going casually through a drawer of knives, and this time being really disappointed. I was looking for more of a kitchen-cleaver type of knife - the kind I had in my earlier dream - but this time all I could find were really cheaply made, flimsy "knives" that had no real danger to them. this time I felt more anxiety and disappointment that there wasn't the proper things I needed to help me when I needed it. I dont remember confronting anyone in my dream the second time.

Neither dreams were nightmares - just tinged with anxiety and were extremely interesting and exciting (in the case where my knife worked).

Some personal background on me: I am female, 24 I recently started a new job where I am being pushed to my absolute limit; I am in my early 20's but in charge of a lot of people and have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. I'm wondering if my dream might tie in with that. I am in a solid 4 year relationship and recently got engaged, and am extremely happy with my relationship. I dropped out of college early. I tend to doubt myself and have a lower-spectrum self esteem when it comes to my talents and abilities. I work very hard and I am passionate about my profession.

Also, as a side note - I always tend to have dreams in very large spaces. Most of the time if my dreams are in-doors, it is in a very lofty and big room. Part of my second dream took place in a dorm/loft-like area that had very big windows. My dreams tend to be cinematic and have large geographical places or spaces involved in them. Any thoughts about this?

Thanks so much!

My interpretation I am sure is influenced by the facts that I too have lower self-esteem and yet am in a challenging position.

I think the knife may represent self-esteem.

It is a potentially great tool for self-defense. We are a bit weary of it, knowing it could be dangerous. At times what is available to us is inadequate to the task at hand. Sometimes though we are self-confident, and it is amazing how well we can handle those challenges.

With all the challenges going on, at times it feels like one is under attack, and sometimes due to low self esteem we may perceive being under attack even when we are not, and expect an attack to come. In dreams even more than in waking life, expectations are self-fulfilling prophesies, so if you expect an attack, it will come.

The thing with self-esteem is that even if we find the dull knives only, with determination we can sharpen them and can fight a good fight if we just change our self perception and believe in ourselves. At times it is hard to do. But it is necessary.

The satisfaction when we feel empowered, when the knife is sharp, and we can successfully defend ourselves against all that life throws our ways, that feeling is amazing. And the goal is to hold on to that feeling, aim for it, and expect it to happen more often. We can do it!

Often dreams occur as a reaction to something that happened the day before the dream. In both these dreams you need a knife, in one you find a good one, in the other only bad ones. I would guess that the day before the first dream you had an experience at work for instance, with a certain emotional tone; and the day before the second dream, a similar experience but not exactly the same. If one knew what it was that triggered the dreams, one would probably find the key to the meaning of the dreams. If one writes down one's dreams in a journal, it is a good practice to write down things that happened the day before the dream, what went through one's mind, and so forth.