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    Thread: My mother died in my arms.

    1. #1
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      Unhappy My mother died in my arms.

      I have had a lot of disturbing dreams in the past, but I usually never wake up hyperventilating and crying hysterically like I did just this morning.
      Let me tell you a little bit about my family before I tell you my dream. I, myself have ME/CFS, so I struggle a lot keeping my job and helping everyone all the time, not just at home, but all my friends keep nagging and expecting me to be there for them all the time, and I always have to fix everything for everyone. The only person I'd like to help now, who is ill, is my mom. Her and I are extremely close, when I turned 16 she started leaning and depending on me a lot, needing my help. She has fibromyalgia and works hard every day, both demanding physical tasks and an office job who does nothing but bringing her down.
      Our past hasn't been easy, I have an older brother who has aspergers, and a difficult one. And I suspect (since it's possible its hereditary) that my dad has it too. It has been a lot of aggressive and hard times in our home, but we have solved it all and everything is just perfect.
      My moms sister, my aunt, was a victim in a case of domestic violence for two years when she was together with her former husband. Before the trial (which se won, yay!) she lived with us for 10 months. Everyone loved having her here.
      Her, my mom and I grew very close, and still are (for a joke I call her my 'x-tra mom' or just simply 'step-mom').

      My mom is off 50% sick from work because of stress. The physical part of the work is OK, but she needed a break from the office part of it. She is completely exhausted. I try to help her as much as I can.



      Now, my dream. My father, mom, aunt and I were standing in a field and my dad was hunting and shooting at birds (he doesn't usually go hunting) and then he hit one, but it didn't die yet and he had to shoot it again. While this was happening my mom and I were standing very close to each other.
      Somehow, I don't remember if it was my father who did it, my mom got shot in the back and fell to her knees. My aunt and my dad didn't do anything. My mother tried to stand up, like she didn't realize she was shot, and dying. She got shot again, this time by my father, because she was struggling and in pain. She didn't give up. I managed to lay her down on her back on a bench, and sat down beside her. I looked around and my dad and my aunt had gone away.
      "You need to help me, we have so much to do. We've got to do this, we have to make it". She said, as I comforted her stroking her hair and cheek while crying and then hugging her, I could feel her body just letting go and she was gone.

    2. #2
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      JoannaB's Avatar
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      Ok, first some reassurance: this was a dream, dreams exaggerate, and this does not mean that your mom will die in waking life.

      You are worried because your mom is ill, and so you had a dream about something happening to your mom. In your dream your dad tries to put your mom out of her misery, but what he does just makes it worse. Could it be that in waking life you perceive that at times your dad is trying to help but doing it in a way that you perceive as unhelpful? Also this dream is a dream of something very extreme happening, and you naturally had an extreme reaction to this nightmare, this could be a sign of stress of feeling overwhelmed. Keep in mind that the dream is most likely about you and not actually about your mother, dreams usually tell us more about the dreamer. One trick of dream interpretation is to actually interpret all or any dream characters as representing an aspect of the dreamer. So maybe it is not your mother but the "mothering" part of you that is shot. There is an idiom "I'm shot" or "my nerves are shot" which means I'm burned out so that I can no longer function normally. And I suspect that this may be what your dream is trying to tell you, that you are burned out, that you have too much on your shoulders, that you need a break, need some help, and that you cannot handle doing as much mothering of the rest of your family.

      Does that make sense? If not, feel free to ignore, because of course I can be wrong.

      Edit: of course, there is an issue with my interpretation. It relies on an idiom in English. I do not know whether there is such an idiom in Norwegian. If you were not familiar with the idiom that I mentioned at all, then my interpretation is less likely to be correct.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 09-25-2013 at 03:57 PM.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    3. #3
      Lucid trainee for 1 year RobiZ's Avatar
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      How weird , i had a dream tonight of someone dying (it was kind of murder) too, i don't know who it was , but i knew him(i just know i knew.) Everything happened at school.

      Don't worry though about the dream too much i know the dream feelings are one of the strongest , but don't let them overtake your real life, just wait and it will go away.Also , as JoannaB said , maybe it has , some hidden meaning that your subconsciousness is trying to tell you. But also take them just as notices and little guides, nothing literally. Hope you all best in your life.
      JoannaB likes this.

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