Thread: Am I dying in real life?

Hi all. I know that the thread title seems a little over-dramatic, but I am serious.

A little background first: My mom died when I was 13 and I went to live with my granny. I was blessed for most of my life, good job, nice house, good things, and then I lost my granny and fiancee in a freak car wreck. I lost it. I became so depressed that I could not get out of bed for nearly two years. I lost EVERYTHING during and after that, cars, clothes, EVERYTHING except my home which was being foreclosed but I managed to save. Needless to say, I have not been at my best in any regard thereafter, no friends, no family except a son who is a little out there and abusive. I receive disability and even meals on wheels - that's how bad it is, and lately I have felt very sick in my body but because APS came in and cleaned my house and gutted everything, I have no ID and the state doctors will not see me without and ID. (Not to worry since I think I finally found someone with a copy and am working toward getting it). I can go to the emergency room, but I am just kind of 'stuck' in a rut still. You would not have thought of me as being this type of person before. I was amazing. Nothing that I could not do. Wonder Woman in my own eyes. heheh.

In any case ... to the dreams!

Very recently I lost my 10 year old dog to what the vet says was cancer despite doing everything we could do to save her.

Last week I had a dream about her. (Hope I make sense in this next part). She, and a couple of other of my past dogs (also old and passed on) were waiting outside of my granny's old house (where I would spend summers as a little girl). They were sitting and running around and down the street outside the front of the house. The thing is, that there were keys nailed to the front door, waiting for me. I got the impression my granny left them for me although I did not see her. The dogs though at this point all had run down the curb/street and I could not see them anymore and I was left there with the keys and wondering if I should open the door, which by the way I THINK was black.

A couple of days later, I dreamt about an aquarium. While the water was very clear and very pretty, there was a HUGE mass of uneaten fish food, again, as a really big mass, at the bottom. I woke up thinking there is a mass somewhere in me.

This morning, I dreamt I was on a car trip with my mom and step-father (have not seen him in forever so I do not know if he is alive or not) and who I THINK was my half sister (also lost touch with her irl). We were in a residential neighborhood with cars etc and for some reason we got out of the car. My mom and step-dad began arguing and my mom took my sister's hand and walked away down the street. They were both wearing sky-blue summer shirts/tank tops and white shorts. I'm a tiny bit fuzzy about what happened next, but I wandered around looking for them and came across my step-dad who was also looking for them. He had a brown/chocolate lab with him who I do not know. We saw two men come out of a house in hunting gear and questioned them. They said they knew nothing and had seen nothing then walked to their car. My step-dd though was convinced these men had abducted them and went around the back of the house. I don't know why, but I left him there and continued to search the neighborhood although I grew more convinced that those men actually had taken them. I never found them but did walk near a window that was burning.

If anyone could help me make sense out of this I would appreciate it! I believe in dreams A LOT. Years ago, before the accident and before I became ill, I would always dream of loyal, wonderful dogs, and my life was filled with great people. Then I dreamt my dogs were killed, died or disappeared and I lost people in real life. I also dreamt I fell into or bathed in horribly old, dirty, murky, bad water ... and I got sick in real life. Every time I dreamt of a cat, something bad would happen, etc., so I do believe

Thank you SO much, in advance!