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    Thread: Kissed my crush and didn't like it

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      Kissed my crush and didn't like it

      I dreamt of forcing (albeit not aggresively) a kiss on my unrequited love, but she didn't mind it. The thing I want to understand is why the kiss wasn't deep and good (more like lips crashing - my poor execution) and I said and felt that it's just that. However I got sexually aroused from it in my dream.
      Why didn't I feel the kiss to be more than just skin touching ? Why didnt I get into the kiss passionately.

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      I have a feeling that this happens to LD'ers quite often, Yulei, to the point where passionate, sweet-tasting kisses are a rarity.

      Why? I think it may be for one (or perhaps all) of a few reasons:

      * First, when you make a spontaneous move in a dream, your dreaming mind/unconscious might have trouble immediately providing the details you are expecting . So it throws up the best imagery it can provide, which winds up being minimal, "lips just touching and nothing else" sort of imagery. Sometimes it even throws up the wrong imagery -- I remember once trying that same spontaneous kiss and getting a mouthful of roses. If this is the case, I've found that simply waiting a moment and trying again yields much better results (because your dreaming mind gets a chance to scrape up some proper memories of kissing). This, BTW, is a root problem in dream control in general: we often just aren't patient enough to give our dreaming minds an opportunity to produce the imagery we desire.

      * Next, there is the problem of what a kiss is. When you are lucid (and often when you are not lucid), especially if that lucidity comes very late in your sleep cycle, you tend to be very close to a waking state. So, if you try something like a kiss, your brain is very likely to refer directly to physical receptors in your lips and mouth rather than the imagery provided by your dreaming mind. So, instead of a nice, passionate kiss, you feel, well, pretty much nothing, because in truth your lips aren't contacting anything. Or, worse, your kiss might taste like bad breath, or blanket, because that is what your physical receptors are actually picking up at the moment. If this happens, I usually change the subject, both because things likely won't improve and because realizing that you are in direct contact with your waking-life senses might wake you up completely.

      * Finally, and on a more philosophic note, a passionate kiss has one major requirement that is difficult to replicate in a dream: it requires the participation of two people. If your kiss is lacking the input of someone else (and you haven't allowed your dreaming mind to find a memory of that input), then it will most likely feel pretty hollow. This will likely stay that way if you've never kissed the waking-life version of your particular target before, because your dreaming mind is unable to find a memory of kissing this person. Again, you might just try again, or wait a bit, and your dreaming mind might spool up an appropriately similar memory (assuming you've kissed someone else in your life) -- or not, I suppose, if this passionless kiss is a perhaps as a hint from your dreaming mind to get to work on getting that love to do some requiting in your waking-life!

      These opinions of mine could of course all be wrong, but at least it gives you something to think about.
      DreamVixen likes this.

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