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    Thread: Please help me work this out. This is getting disturbing. (Warning: Graphic)

    1. #1
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      Please help me work this out. This is getting disturbing. (Warning: Graphic)

      About Me: My name is Joe. I moved from Florida to Wisconsin a few weeks ago. I moved in with my cousin and her 2 adult sons. I have never been one to have (or at least remember) dreams but over the course of the last few weeks I have been having increasingly vivid disturbing dreams. I need help understanding this. Usually then I do have a dream or even nightmare, they do not frighten me. I enjoy them. They are thrilling to me. Example, I remember a dream a few years ago being chased by a raptor, I woke up and tried to fall back asleep to see how it ended. Its like a movie to me. But lately, they have been pushing me to the limits of what I a think I am truly capable of (which I will get to here in a bit) but maybe you guys can help me work through whatever this is.

      The first, I don't remember but I know I had to put down my dog at the vet. I am a serious animal lover and especially dogs so that kinda hurt me. I'm glad I really don't remember any more than that.

      The second was more like a nightmare that I would normally have (on the VERY rare case that I had one) where it was kind of thrilling and fun. I only remember some of it, not in great detail.
      I was with a few people (and in all of these dreams I didn't recognize anyone for future reference) having a nerf war. Running around blasting each other with nerf darts, around the pool, inside and up the stairs, occasionally setting down our nerf guns to bash in the head of an incoming zombie, or stab one in the face with a screwdriver. Then we would pick up our nerf guns and continue like it was normal. It felt to me as if there had been a weak zombie outbreak some time ago and that was just something you had to do once in awhile, like a chore. Then just go back to what we were doing like nothing ever happened. Interesting enough.

      The third got a bit more vivid. I was in what seemed like a game of killer hide and seek, Kinda. There were rules, the ones that I remember is that you were not allowed to stab anyone, and you were not allowed to kill anyone, but if you ran into anyone else you had to fight to the brink of death. I had a teammate but it didn't seem like anyone else did. My partner and I, empty handed, ran up a grassy hill and looked behind a pine tree. We saw a padlocked toolbox. The top had been ripped open as if someone had gotten to it first. I realized these tools were left out as weapons for the game. Me and my partner dug around I pulled out an ice pick and a chain clamp (which is like a vice-grip with a bicycle chain) Someone ran up the hill, and found us, I gave him a bit of a warning and he ran off. My partner started fiddling with something when a much larger man than me ran up the hill ready to fight. Me and this man face up 1v1 but when he sees the ice pick he reminded me of the "no stabbing" rule and suggested I just set that down, I agreed and set it on a rock. We squared up again. He was armed with a staple gun and me with the chain clamp. I was using the chain like a whip, getting in a few lucky cuts but the chain came back and hit me in the arms a few times. after getting hit with a few staples, I whipped again and the chain wrapped around his neck and started to strangle him. I wrestled the man to the ground he got me with another staple in the leg that got stuck on the gun and pulled out some meat that was protruding from my leg. Once he was about to pass out I released the chain and helped him up. We shook hands to a good fight and he went on his way. I looked down at my arm and leg, some meat was still sticking about 2 inches out of a quarter sized hole in my calf but the staples that he had hit me with had seemed to close the cuts on my arm that I had accidentally inflicted on myself. I woke up thinking I was going to have to call my cousin and tell her to get a staple kit from work. A couple weeks ago IRL I had accidentally cut my hand and she told me if I ever got staples she could get a kit from work being a CNA. lol

      This is where it gets disturbing. I never want to fall asleep again. I don't remember how it started but me and a man had been chase by 2 other men. They seemed almost like a Russian rebel militia type. Where I remember it seemed like we had already been chased for some time and the man that I was with was injured siting against a tree. The 2 men chasing us had gone back into their building. I wanted to see what the 2 were doing so I went by myself to sneak around the building and peek into the windows. I look in and see them grabbing rifles from a metal cabinet. The taller man of the 2 seen me and started heading for the exit to come after me. I ran. I jumped across a creek, running on the grass between a dirt road and a corn field. Looking back and not seeing him behind me I just kept running knowing he would not give up so easily. The field and road lead to a country house. It was night, I decided to go to the back of the house and try to find a place to hide. I decided to take one more look back down the dirt road and seen the man riding a white horse quite a ways behind but it was clear I didn't have long to hide. I seen a large stack of firewood stacked up along the back of the building, I decided to duck on the other side of it and hope if the man rode back there he would just go past without noticing me. When I ducked down I looked into the dark corn field and a large pitbull lunged out of the darkness and got a good grip on my right hand. This is clearly just the family dog protecting the property but I realize that I have to get this dog off me now or the man will quickly find me but my knife is in my right pocket. I somehow managed to get him loose for a second and get my knife but he's still attacking me. I so badly did not want to hurt this dog. I would have just tried to fight it off if I had more time but the man was sill looking for me. I did the only think I could to protect my own life and stabbed the dog in the neck 6-7 time. it would wince and just keep coming. so i had to run my knife along its throat. Twice. It fell to its back choking on its blood and struggling to try to get breath. I was shaking but I tried to rub its stomach and tell the dog that it would be ok. I told it that I was sorry. I was wishing there was another way but I had to protect myself.

      I'm damn near in tears just writing this. I've never had a dream like this and it scares me. Even if a dog was attacking me I would never kill a dog unless I knew I would be killed if I didn't. I had to face that as if it were reality. I cant do that again. Please help me work this out.

    2. #2
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      Hey Joe. I'm no good in dream interpretation (otherwise wouldn't be asking for advice on this forum :p) but I know that very disturbing dreams can happen when you move away/relocate/travel. Without any other details, it seems that you have felt, or are afraid to feel in the future, that you need to sacrifice something very dear to you, not to survive, but to go further in life. So maybe it feels selfish and awful because it's not for an ultimate reason, like surviving, but for a reason you perceive as selfish and unnecessary, like protecting yourself and/or continuing your path. The fact that you are an animal lover might explain why the "something/someone very dear" took that form. An innocent creature, just doing its job, that conflicted with you for no deeply mean reason, just an unfortunate circomstance. Well, this might be all crap, but that just how it makes me feel -if it can help a bit! Also, what strikes me is how your dream and feelings about your dream are filled with compassion and what seems to be a strong sense of fairness, like you have a strong set of values and ideals and are struggling with how they come in conflict with the reality. It also seems to me that during the dream, you're doing the right thing, even if the right thing means hurting someone else or yourself. Anyway, I hope someone else will offer some better insight! Good luck
      grimaspectz likes this.

    3. #3
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      It sounds like the dying dogs might represent the idea that you needed to "kill off" some animal instinct in yourself - possibly due to the new living arrangements? Moving into another family's house - into their lives - can be a really weird experience and could raise some primal instincts that maybe have never been an issue before. Possibly the instinct you've had to kill off is a protective instinct? (As represented by a family dog just doing its duty to protect the family). Maybe you've felt the need to protect someone from someone else - possibly your cousin from her sons, or maybe the other way around, but felt you had to forego this instinct and just let the chips fall where they may?

      Another possibility: Maybe you 'had it out' at some point with one or more of the sons and later realized that they were just "protecting the family"?, and now you feel terrible for attacking them (represented by killing the pit bull). In which case the protective instinct would be his - and yours as well, protecting yourself from him. At any rate, animals in dreams often do represent 'animal instincts'. Hopefully my suggestions can help you reach a satisfying interpretation.
      Last edited by Darkmatters; 08-22-2017 at 02:04 PM.

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      Quote Originally Posted by mahavel View Post
      Hey Joe. I'm no good in dream interpretation (otherwise wouldn't be asking for advice on this forum :p) but I know that very disturbing dreams can happen when you move away/relocate/travel. Without any other details, it seems that you have felt, or are afraid to feel in the future, that you need to sacrifice something very dear to you, not to survive, but to go further in life. So maybe it feels selfish and awful because it's not for an ultimate reason, like surviving, but for a reason you perceive as selfish and unnecessary, like protecting yourself and/or continuing your path. The fact that you are an animal lover might explain why the "something/someone very dear" took that form. An innocent creature, just doing its job, that conflicted with you for no deeply mean reason, just an unfortunate circomstance. Well, this might be all crap, but that just how it makes me feel -if it can help a bit! Also, what strikes me is how your dream and feelings about your dream are filled with compassion and what seems to be a strong sense of fairness, like you have a strong set of values and ideals and are struggling with how they come in conflict with the reality. It also seems to me that during the dream, you're doing the right thing, even if the right thing means hurting someone else or yourself. Anyway, I hope someone else will offer some better insight! Good luck
      You might be a little better at this than you give yourself credit for. I was in Florida for 17 years and decided to move back after becoming addicted to drugs. I went through a home detox. After I got clean I decided to move away from my mom, dad, sister, my friends, and everything I have known as an adult in order to make sure I didn't fall back into those same patters. It was a hard decision but I had to make it in order to protect my own well-being.

      Quote Originally Posted by Darkmatters View Post
      It sounds like the dying dogs might represent the idea that you needed to "kill off" some animal instinct in yourself - possibly due to the new living arrangements? Moving into another family's house - into their lives - can be a really weird experience and could raise some primal instincts that maybe have never been an issue before. Possibly the instinct you've had to kill off is a protective instinct? (As represented by a family dog just doing its duty to protect the family). Maybe you've felt the need to protect someone from someone else - possibly your cousin from her sons, or maybe the other way around, but felt you had to forego this instinct and just let the chips fall where they may?

      Another possibility: Maybe you 'had it out' at some point with one or more of the sons and later realized that they were just "protecting the family"?, and now you feel terrible for attacking them (represented by killing the pit bull). In which case the protective instinct would be his - and yours as well, protecting yourself from him. At any rate, animals in dreams often do represent 'animal instincts'. Hopefully my suggestions can help you reach a satisfying interpretation.
      So maybe darkmatters the instinct that I was having to kill off was the one to stay close to my family and move in with cousins across the country in the interest in self preservation?

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      I agree with the interpretation that you have had to sacrifice something or someone for your own self-preservation. Seems fitting with what you said about moving away from your family. You said you would have to fight off the zombies now and then just as if it was a matter of routine - could that be related to your addiction? Part of you just considers it a part of your existence which just has to be managed when in reality it is like the dealing with the living dead. All that blood and gore and violence is loosely representing the horror you were living, the attempt to escape it all, the uphill struggle. Perhaps you had a parner in crime so to speak that you used to do drugs with? But it sounds like you were bad for each other. Although you now are in a safe place it seems you are feeling like you are not safe yet, that you might get caught up in your old way of life again. Ok sorry if I am reading too much into this, but I do think when a dream leaves an emotional impact on us it is because of an important situation in our life that needs some kind of resolution.
      Last edited by cece23; 08-29-2017 at 01:05 PM.

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      Quote Originally Posted by grimaspectz View Post
      You might be a little better at this than you give yourself credit for. I was in Florida for 17 years and decided to move back after becoming addicted to drugs. I went through a home detox. After I got clean I decided to move away from my mom, dad, sister, my friends, and everything I have known as an adult in order to make sure I didn't fall back into those same patters. It was a hard decision but I had to make it in order to protect my own well-being.
      ?
      I'm sorry you went through such a hard time and had to take a tough decision. It seems to me that your dream reflected indeed what you did in real life: a necessary (and incredibly brave!) act of self-preservation, that however might still cause unresolved feelings of guilt.

      Not knowing the context, I say this with caution, but I think you took a difficult but very good decision (both in dream and life), and that the "issue" doesn't lie in the act itself but in your feelings about it. Why would you feel so guilty to fight for your own well-being/preservation/survival? You shouldn't be expected to sacrifice yourself, or unworthy of your own survival instinct, even if it implies tough choices.
      The impression given by how you phrase things and by the feelings and actions of your alter ego in the dream, is that you carry those feelings because you're just a good person, empathic and sensitive, trying to do the right thing even amidst a blood bath/war field. The feelings prove that you have a heart and values, but don't let them overcome you to the point where you question protecting yourself.

      I sincerely wish you the best in your recovery and new life!
      cece23 likes this.

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      So, after figuring this out, I have not had another violent dream (or any other dream i can remember) until last night.
      I was in a house with someone I don't recognize, we were friendly. The house was a grey, rundown rickety wooden house. He left the house and shortly after a man came in and started attacking me. I got the impression this was his house. He hammered some nails into a short board and started swinging it at me. I ran through the house and found a longer stick and hammered some nails in it so I could fight back. He catches up to me and I was able to hit him a few times. I think I hit him in the arm and in the side of the head but he did not stop his attack so I shoved the nails in his eyes to blind him, ran down a hallway to where it turned and crouched in the corner and waited for him to blindly stumble past. He got very close to me so I ran past him in the opposite direction and tried to grab a hand radio that was on the table to call to my earlier friend for help. Then woke up.

      A couple things stand out to me. All my dreams (I mean just about every one I can ever remember in my life) I am being chased, and I usually have to commit acts of violence to escape.
      And in more recent dreams I seem to have a partner early on in the dream that I can't really remember much about. And they end up leaving away right before the chase begins. Really the only major stress that I've had lately is finding a job since my move has been difficult, but I don't see how that could apply here. And I have been having dreams like this (infrequently) almost all my life. Any thoughts?

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      A couple things stand out to me. All my dreams (I mean just about every one I can ever remember in my life) I am being chased, and I usually have to commit acts of violence to escape.
      And in more recent dreams I seem to have a partner early on in the dream that I can't really remember much about. And they end up leaving away right before the chase begins. Really the only major stress that I've had lately is finding a job since my move has been difficult, but I don't see how that could apply here. And I have been having dreams like this (infrequently) almost all my life. Any thoughts?
      Believe me, I'm having some trouble with violence in my dreams as well so I feel for you. It really makes you not want to sleep.
      I think being chased in a dream is pretty common. Acting violent in order to save yourself, is a basic instinct any way and not necessarily a bad thing if you're fighting off something evil. It's the overall violence of the dream that gets disturbing.

      In reference to the partner leaving before the chase begins, maybe you had an experience in life when someone left you hanging or right when you needed them most.

      And maybe the resurgence in these dreams is definitely tied to moving. You're thinking of home, without being surrounded by that actual environment.
      Last edited by poseidonlost; 09-27-2017 at 08:23 AM. Reason: word nerd
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