Help with a very personal and confusing dream.

[midnightdreamer]

Hello All, My name is Leah and I am new here, so glad I found this community, a perfect place for me to be I need help figuring out a dream, now this dream I had a while ago but it is causing my Love great discomfort, which I do not wish for him to feel...while I myself figure it was just a dream and can deal with it on that level, he seems to think there is something more that he should be worried about, even though I feel completely opposite. But I would like to hear your opinions on this and I think it will help me understand it more fully and help him to let go of the confusion. Now I had this dream one night that I had drank a bit much with some friends and was quite intoxicated when I went to bed, I don't even truly remember the details of the dream, but what my Love said I said and the actions I was doing. But here are the details...It involved a friend of mine who was dating this way older guy, he was like her 'sugar daddy' he gave her money and bought her stuff....now this man I can not stand, I do not find him attractive on any level and I personally think there was something wrong with him mentally, he seemed to be slightly mentally retarded, seriously he could barely finish his own sentences, but had barely enough mental compasity to run a small vending machine business, he is a very annoying and aggravating individual who I personally cringe when I see. Well my Love tells me that during my sleep I started moving around and when he asked me what was going on he said I told him I was with my friend and this man and we were all having sex, he said I said I was doing it for money and that I was complaining about the way he was having sex with me. He said that I was so into the dream that my body was doing the motions and actions....now I can see how this would be bothering my Love and it doesn't make any sense why I would have this dream....I am not the type who would ever have sex for money or even in my perspective, lower myself to have relations with some one who I find so aggravating. I feel that I am a very spiritual person and I am on a path of self enlightenment, getting rid of this baggage will be most helpful in my journey. I understand my Loves discomfort because I am a very sexual person, even though I remain true to him, he is afraid that this dream is a sign that I am not faithful, even though I reassure him otherwise, I want to help him come to an understanding so he too can drop this extra baggage. I know this is very personal, but I feel I can share this here without any demeaning responses, because I truly do need some outside help on this issue... Thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to your response. In Light and Love, Leah

[NostalgicHoney]

I agree with your intuition, Leah and that it was just a dream. It just sounds like all the things you were thinking about or heard were taken apart and put together the wrong way. That's what I think about the dream part, anyways. It sounds like your Love feels insecure and maybe you'll have to boost his confidence or you could validate how he feels but be firm on your point of view but really I think only you can know for sure what has to be done. Good luck, Leah and I hope you'll find the right solution soon!

[mel_noah]

I have tons of sex dreams! lol lots of people tell me that they have never had an orgasm in their dreams - I have them all the time! I suppose that was how I managed to go a few years without after my split from my son's biological father. lol Perhaps I'm blessed? Maybe blessed in the aspect of the orgasm, HOWEVER the people I have sex with in my dreams!?! *CRINGE* People from TV., people from my life, my family (*GASP!* I am not into incest!!), even people I have never met. Often times these are people (male and female) that I can't even stand or do not find physically attractive. When these dreams happen I have to remember that what I recall as the dream is really only my conscious minds interpretation of something bigger that I cannot possibly fathom = meaning sometimes an image in a dream (such as a particular person, place or thing) is just an random image that my conscious mind pulled to plug into the dream and allow it to make more sense or be more familiar to me. So enjoy the feeling, just ignore the person! And hopefully your love can do the same!! lol But I know it's hard. I am a very sexual person and my darling love is always afraid of losing me even though I am faithful and loyal to him (he is the love of my life!! :-D), once I told him about a sex dream I had in regards to someone on a reality TV show that was extremely unattractive. He was still upset b/c all his sex dreams involve me and only me. I have learned that sometimes he does not need to know every single aspect of my dreams if it is sensitive in nature and may upset him. Good luck to you!

[Lëzen]

[As a personal observation, it's nice to see there are so many women in this forum that are comfortable with and enjoy sex. It contradicts the stereotype that all women are prudes. 'Tis a good thing. ] ...now this man I can not stand, I do not find him attractive on any level and I personally think there was something wrong with him mentally, he seemed to be slightly mentally retarded, seriously he could barely finish his own sentences, but had barely enough mental compasity to run a small vending machine business, he is a very annoying and aggravating individual who I personally cringe when I see. That was hilarious to me because I know someone like that as well...I literally cringe in his presence. The epitome of "creep". Anyway, I can only tell you two things about your experience: a) it was hopefully the alcohol that influenced your mind to dream something so terribly out of the ordinary. There's a thread floating around here somewhere where people talked about the effects of alcohol on their dreams, and there seems to be a general consensus that good ol' alki does indeed produce messed-up dreams. Hopefully that's reassuring. And, b) your love's just being a man. When in a relationship, most of us guys are more tame than we're given credit for...we think of nothing but our sweethearts, even in our dreams (at least this was so for me when I was in a relationship), and so it kinda hurts us to know that you're dreaming about other men when we don't dream of other women. But we're resilient in the face of such things, so we'll get over it...eventually. I'd suggest you tell your love the truth about the guy in your dream; that he was old, creepy, a mental defect, and that the experience was all-round unpleasant. I'm sure he'll get the picture that it was a dream you didn't really want to dream.

[AlexLou]

Maybe blessed in the aspect of the orgasm, HOWEVER the people I have sex with in my dreams!?! *CRINGE* People from TV., people from my life, my family (*GASP!* I am not into incest!!), even people I have never met. Often times these are people (male and female) that I can't even stand or do not find physically attractive. When these dreams happen I have to remember that what I recall as the dream is really only my conscious minds interpretation of something bigger that I cannot possibly fathom = meaning sometimes an image in a dream (such as a particular person, place or thing) is just an random image that my conscious mind pulled to plug into the dream and allow it to make more sense or be more familiar to me. Haha! Good to find someone who understands Very well said. Midnightdreamer, you've probably had many other sexual dreams that you don't remember with other men.