I'm new here... Hopefully this isn't too mundane to all of you because it's very significant to me! I remembered a lot of detail here but even if you only have ideas on the meaning of a small part of the dream I am interested to hear it.
On the morning of the 27th of September, I had this vivid dream. I was in a public building, with my ex boyfriend, and 4 or 5 other people that seemed to be close friends or relatives. One of the 4 or 5 people could have been my mother, and they were surrounding my ex so that it was hard for me to get too close or see him well.
He was sitting with his head flopped forward and his chin against his chest. I was looking at him directly from his right side and one person's torso obscured the front half of his face/head. I could see the back of his neck clearly and right in the middle was a fleshy, reddish, wounded looking area.
I realized at that moment that his neck was broken and he was a quadriplegic in a wheelchair. I started to feel sympathy for him, then I hesitated (I've promised myself I would not have contact with him) before finally, I slowly reached out to gently stroke his right cheek with the back of my hand. He then started to smile in a way that disturbed me deeply.
The smile said to me that he was feeling a sense of accomplishment. It also said to me that he felt he'd won. I then realized that he had broken his neck on purpose JUST so that he could get me to pay attention to him and sympathize with his situation. His smile was there because he had succeeded at getting JUST the reaction he wanted out of me. He had intentionally damaged himself in the worst possible way just so that he could manipulate me into behaving in a way he wanted me to behave. I was sickened and pulled my hand away quickly. I then woke shortly thereafter. The dream left me feeling sick inside.
I think this dream is important but I'm not sure how it's important. it may be symbolic. it may relate to my ex directly. it may relate to another ex I have been chatting with online recently. The ex in the dream I only broke up with recently (about a month or two ago?). the other ex I'm chatting with now, is one I've not talked to for over 7 years. These two men have *some* significant personality traits in common, and I tend to compare them.
can anyone offer some insight here?
OH and here are a few details I forgot to mention:
-I stroked his right cheek with the back of my left hand.
-the room we were in was an entrance/waiting room of sorts. The door was glass and the majority of the entrance side of the room had windows.
-the lighting came mostly from the windows and door - the light level indicated it was partially cloudy outside.
-the ceiling was about 8-10 feet high.
-the direction I faced to look at my ex also faced the windows.
-we were muuuch closer to the wall on my right.
-if we consider the direction I was facing to look at my ex as 12:00, then the majority of the light source was coming from 10:30-11:00, backlighting my ex in a soft, yet harsh, cool light, and silhouetting the people surrounding him. The angle of the light highlighted his wounded neck.
yea... lots and lots of details... Not looking for a miracle, just hoping to discuss this one.