I started having weird dreams a few days after my grandfather's death. The crazy thing was, they weren't about my grandfather at all, but about my first crush. She was one of the first few persons I met at school. We weren't really that close but I remember that we were seatmates and we used to have casual conversations. But our acquiantanship (or friendship?) was strained because of my personal struggles during that time. As a child, I was weak, fragile and confused. Because of my insecurities, I deliberately avoided her and ignored her everytime we crossed our paths.

My first dream about her was five days after my grandfather died. I couldn't remember anything but I'm sure it was her. Then, just a few days ago, I had another dream. This time, we were sitting together but there was a feeling of awkwardness between us. After all, it was first time we saw each other again in nearly two decades. Then we held hands, she smiled and I smiled back, and then the awkward feeling vanished. It was so lucid that I felt like I was actually there. I could even smell her and feel the warmth of her hands. We talked for a few minutes, your regular casual conversation. The weird thing was we were very close like we have some kind of a relationship or something. Then we were transported to a van. She was driving and I was sitting beside her. There were passengers in the back row. We were dropping every single one of them to their destinations until I was the only
one left in the van. Then she dropped me to my place but I refused to go out of the van because I didn't want my girlfriend and my family to see me with her. But to my surprise, she went out of the van alone and chatted with them. I didn't like the scene so I attempt to drive the van away. But I was swaying like I didn't know how to drive a vehicle. Then I woke up.

By the way, a few days after I first dreamed about her, I found her on Facebook and added her as a friend. She's already happily married, which saddens me a little. But at the same time, I'm happy and relieved because she's in perfect health and doing good in life.

Please help me because I can't get her off my mind that I keep looking on her facebook page. It's really tearing me up inside I don't know what to do. TIA!