Thread: :D Omegle!!! :D

Hilarious Zocks! xD I'll post mine in a bit. Need to get some good material out of these trolls first.

Originally Posted by Xox

www.omegle.com

Post funny omegle's here.

Stranger: from?
You: It's a mellow night
You: And raining rather nastily
Stranger: nice i love the rain
Stranger: where are you from?
You: I don't know, do any of us know where we are from, really?
You: We only setup arbitrary borders to make things simple and neat
Stranger: uh...
You: But chaos will reign, either way
You: On my side, and your side.
Stranger: okay wanna tell me where youre from now
You: What the fuck does it matter
Stranger: damn
Stranger: later
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: would you like to go onwebcam with me, im 17 M UK and turned on
You: Depends, do you enjoy blueberry muffins?
Stranger: yep
You: Do you drink anything with them?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: Hello, this is Arthur Kirkland. I'm looking for some bloody git named Alfred F Jones, have you seen him?
You: No
You: LULZ
Stranger: ?
You: Actually..
You: That's me
You: What do you want?
Stranger: Is it now?
Stranger: I need to have a word with you.
You: Okay, sir.
Stranger: No more fucking revolutions.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You just come off as dumb

Originally Posted by Carôusoul

You just come off as dumb

Your opinion is greatly appreciated. 8D

Originally Posted by Xox

Your opinion is greatly appreciated. 8D

ho ho ho

Aww Carou, you know you like Omegle!

Originally Posted by Jeff777

Aww Carou, you know you like Omegle!

yeah i love omegle

i just don't like xox

I'll post some of the ones I saved from DV chat a few days ago (don't know whose they are though)

---

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HI
You: hi
Stranger: tengo un bufalo en mis pantalones
You: I think I almost understand that and it makes me want to leave.
You have disconnected.

---

Stranger: Do you have MSN address ?
You: I do.
You: iamnotagirl@fakeemail.com
Stranger: I added you lick
Stranger: Can be video?

---

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ~
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl?
You: I also have a penis
You: Just like you.
You: How does that make you feel?
Stranger: pls go home and eat your penis
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

---

You: ?
Stranger: what
Stranger: ?
You: i dont understand the problem

---

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: It stands for Animal Sex Land
Stranger: no age sex location
You: I have none of those, you're right.
You: But I do know how to get you to animal sex land.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

---

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: 你好~你是什麽國家?^^
You: Yes, I do want some vagina.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

---

Stranger: 12 f france
Stranger: are you horny?
You: ya
Stranger: start
Stranger: your msn
You: wat do u mean start
Stranger: a sex
Stranger: chatting
Stranger: ya
Stranger: start
Stranger: i'm very horny
Stranger: start please

---

Stranger: Hello
You: the spiders
You: I can feel them
Stranger: the game
You: crawling
Stranger: can you feel the game
You: i know they will come back soon
You: please help me
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

---

You: you just lost the game
Stranger: what the last guy told me i won

---

Stranger: oi
You: Hallo
Stranger: how are you?
You: dying
Stranger: =(
Stranger: m or f?

This was a long one.

You: OMG
You: IT HURTS
You: AAACCCHHH
You: How are you?
Stranger: what hutrs
You: My penis
Stranger: uhh sometimes mine hutrs too
You: i got a little carried away
You: are you still there?
You: LORD HAVE I BEEN ABANDONED AGAIN????
Stranger: im here
You:
Stranger: youre looking for girl?
Stranger: did u find
Stranger: ?
You: yeah, i been looking for one ever since the sex change
You: the penis is great, i just overdo it
You: you seem preoccupied.
Stranger: no im here
Stranger: fine
Stranger: youre from
You: um was that a question?
You: For christ's sake your grammar is horrible
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: ok
You: how old are you? 7?
Stranger: where are you from?
You: why do you care? you some sort of stalker?
You: Hmm....it's raining.
Stranger: i am just tryin to talk
Stranger: dont you wanna talk
Stranger: ?
You: Yes, but that doesn't mean start pouring out personal details
You: I don't know you.
You: I can't trust you.
You: For all I know you're a cereal killer.
Stranger: youre right but i didnt want your email or sth
You: And that's horrible, because I love cereal.
Stranger: youre funny actually
You: Funny?
You: Like "haha" funny?
Stranger: yeah but little bit weird
You: hahahahaha
You: You haven't seen weird.
You: I can show you weird.
You: Got a webcam?
Stranger: no
You: Wanna view mine?
Stranger: could be
Stranger: naked?
You: Maybe....
-nudge nudge-
Stranger: im not gay
Stranger: put it away
You: I'm not gay either.
You: I wanted to show you this weird birthmark on my chest.
Stranger: so why would i wanna see naked man's photo
You: You pervert.
Stranger: birthmarks are not wierd you jerk
You: Mine is
You: it's shaped like barney's head almost
You: you know, the purple dinosaur from that kid's show?
Stranger: hm mm
You: Wanna see it?
Stranger: ok
You: Bah nevermind, I don't know where my cam is
Stranger: ha ha
Stranger: anyway
Stranger: bbye
You: DONT LEAVE ME
You: I NEED YOU
You: PLEEEEAAASSSEEE
Stranger: u need me?
You: YEES
You: BECAUSE MY PENIS HUUUUUUUURTS
You: SOOO BAD
Stranger: how can i help u?
You: You know, I'm not sure yet.
You: Stick around and I'm sure I can think of something.
Stranger: put some ice on it
You: Ice?
You: will that stop the bleeding?
Stranger: is that bleeding?!
You: Yeah, just a lil
Stranger: where
You: Umm...my penis
Stranger: the hole? or the other part?
You: the hole
You: Am I gonna die?
Stranger: u need to cut it
Stranger: immedietly
You: Cut my penis?
Stranger: cut it now
You: Scizzors or a knife?
Stranger: knife
You: ok i got a pocket knife in my pocket
Stranger: ok
Stranger: do it
Stranger: do it now!
You: should i take the balls too?
Stranger: no
Stranger: you can play them after
You: Your not serious.
You: You're really gonna trick me into cutting my penis.
You: You sick fuck
You: you think this is funny?
You: What am I gonna tell my parents when they walk in and their 12 year old son is in the floor screaming with his penis on the floor?
Stranger: thats their problem
You: No it's MY problem
You: I need that you know.
You: So....where do you live?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You have 20 seconds to impress me or I'll disconnect your sorry ass.
You: 19
Stranger: hello
You: 18
You: 17
You: 16
You: 15
You: 14
You: 13
You: 12
Stranger: i cant stop farting!
You: 11
You: 10
You: 9
You: 8
You: 7
You: 6
You: 5
You: 4
You: 3
Stranger: OH MY GOD
You: 2
You: 1
You: 0

You: hello.
Stranger: Hi, who are you?
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Well, I asked first, but I guess I'll answer first. Marissa. Now, you have to answer. lol jk
You: lol
You: I am Jesus
Stranger: And I'm Angelina Jolie.
You: I am Jesus Fucking Christ in the Fucking Flesh.
Stranger: Wow, this was interesting, I got2go.
You: Jesus commands that you stay.
Stranger: haha aren't you funny, whatever drugs you're on, get OFF.
You: Jesus is horny.
You: Jesus likes to cyber.
You: You?
You: Cyber with Jesus?
Stranger: Please, don't pull this with me, I don't know how dumb you think I am to believe you, but you're pretty dumb to think I would.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: dae
You: Wat
Stranger: wats
You: wat
Stranger: wats
You: ASL
Stranger: asl's
You: are u retard
Stranger: are u retard's
You: I give up
Stranger: i guve up's

-----------------------------------

Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Are you that person I was talking to earlier about photography, psychology and indie music?
You: Oh, it's you!
Stranger: OMG
Stranger: IS IT REALLY?!
Stranger: I FOUND YOU?1
Stranger: FJSAFKSAJFAS.
Stranger: XD
You: YES REALLY
Stranger: OMG
Stranger: I ACCIDENTALLY
You: FJAJSJSJKAJ
Stranger: DISCONNECTEd
Stranger: DSAKFHAFASOMG
Stranger: HI.
You: It's okay. It's okay.
You: Hi. Again.
You: =P
Stranger: Omg.
Stranger: Holy crap.
Stranger: It'S NOT YOU.
Stranger: IS IT?!
You: Not really.
Stranger: XD
You: Lol
Stranger: ...
Stranger: -_-
Stranger: ...
Stranger: o_O
Stranger: Is it?
Stranger: ...
You: no
Stranger: -.-
You: rofl
You: soi soi soi
Stranger: I hate you.
Stranger:
You: <|3
Stranger: Dx
Stranger: I WAS TALKING TO A VERY NEAT PERSON
Stranger: UNTIL I ACCIDENTALLY DISCONNECTED ON
Stranger: AND I WANT TO FIND THEM
Stranger:
You: Stalker
Stranger: I know.
Stranger: XD
You: I will help you. I am connect with government of China. They has an sattelite monitor system.
Stranger: o_o
Stranger: Uhm
Stranger: I'm scared.
Stranger: BYE.

----------------------------

Stranger: remo.. skye.. nick?!?
You: Hello, I'm Bryana, your virtual guide to FusionCash!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

------------------------------

Stranger: hi
You: What's, er, uh, hm, crackin'
You: You don't smoke meth, by any chance, do you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Originally Posted by pojmaster17q

Stranger: oi
You: Hallo
Stranger: how are you?
You: dying
Stranger: =(
Stranger: m or f?

Nothing beats this. LMAO

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I am God.
You: You may ask me three questions.
Stranger: 1. dear god, are you male or female?
You: I am neither, I am spirit animating physical matter.
You: Your second question.
Stranger: 2. dear god, i think you're an egotistical twat. do you agree?
You: I agree that you agree that I am an egotistical twat.
You: Your third question.
Stranger: i don't have a third
Stranger: self destruct!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi! My names Billy! I'm a 10 year old boy that gives blowjobs! Where u from!?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I wonder if 2 dv members will ever meet while trolling Omegle.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: You're going to hell.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: why
You: Because I said so.
You: I asked god and he said yes.
Stranger: who are you
You: The guy who can easily persuade god, that's who.
You: I just thought I'd let you know.
Stranger: really
Stranger: again ask please
Stranger: i dont want to go to hell
You: 'fraid not. This is what I want.
You: I'm sorry.
Stranger: fuck you man

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jeff777 busts a pedophile on Omegle.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: age ?
Stranger: cam ??
You: I'm 16 female
Stranger: ass ?
You: and yes I have cam
You: I jsut got out of shower
Stranger: can i see your ass
You: asl first?
Stranger: 20 m italy
You: NOTICE TO CHATTER: In accordance with the Terms of Service you have accepted to use this chat client, this conversation has been monitored and recorded by the Child Internet Service Protection Agency, as licensed by the Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). You are receiving this notice due to a potential violation of US law. Your IP address has been recorded and sent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who will review the chat log and request all available contact information from your Internet Service Provider, and will pursue criminal investigation if deemed necessary. If you believe this chat session was logged in error, please contact your local FBI office within 24 hours and quote the reference number #2334531-0343.
Stranger: you like italian guy ?
Stranger: ohhh
Stranger: i dont want really see iit!!
Stranger: sorry
You: I work for a child protective services firm based out of california USA. Our job is to catch online sexual predators.
You: You've been caught in the act of soliciting pornographic material from a minor.
Stranger: yes but i am not sexual predator!!
You: The F B I will be alerted to your activity as well as this chat log in addition to your internet service provider.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

ou're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I'm dying...
Stranger: Oh dear...
Stranger: What can I do?
You: I have never thought of a last wish...
Stranger: Your last wish is unlimited wishes.
You: Sweet
Stranger: Or to ride a pegacorn.
You: I want an Xbox!
Stranger: YOU FOOL
Stranger: that's outdated.
You: D:
You: What about a nintendo?
You: Can I have that?
Stranger: Yeah nintendo is better.
You: Sweet!
Stranger: But you're still dying.
You: Oh right...
Stranger: So... sorry kid.
You: Well
You: In my will
You: I will let you have my Nintendo, Stranger.
Stranger: :')
Stranger: You're a hero.
You: But you must do one thing for me before I die...
Stranger: What is it?
You: Find one girl that is willing to put on cat ears and take a picture of her and give it to me...so I can look at it as I die.
Stranger: ok hang on
You: Quickly...
Stranger: hang on
Stranger: http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/457...ayrideears.png
You: Yes I love this
You: I shall die happy now
Stranger: I drew it for you.
Stranger: It's meeeee.
You: It's hot!
You: Makes me wish I wasn't dieing
Stranger: It's a shame, really.
Stranger: But you know what's the real shame?
You: What?
Stranger: I've only but a pony, no unicorn.
You: D:
Stranger: I. KNOOOOOW.
Stranger: awful.
You: WHY!?
You: WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?!
Stranger: They're so expensive
Stranger: And I'm just a small town girl
Stranger: lost in this big world.
You: This is going to turn into a musical...I just know it...
Stranger: OHHHHHHH
Stranger: UNICORNS
Stranger: I WANT YOUR HORNS
Stranger: NOT FOR PORNS
Stranger: but to be my frieeeeend
You: Nice
You: 10/10 for you
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: I went to college for that
Stranger: I majored in short unicorn songs
You: I think I'll major in that too
You: And change my name to Charlie
You: Charlie the Unicorn
Stranger: And I'll be the blue one
You: No wait
You: I want to be the leopluradon
You: rawwrarafhfawrawr
Stranger:
Stranger: That's scary
Stranger: you're scaring me
You: D;
You: Don't be scared D:
You: I'm only dying
You: Come to think of it, this is a long prolonged death...
Stranger: I guess you should get on with it, then.
You: I should
You: But nothing is happening
Stranger: Oh Stranger.. I'll miss you.
Stranger: sniff..
You: I'll miss you too Stranger
You: *lies down and closes eyes*
Stranger: :<
Stranger: .....
Stranger: teehee
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I cried at the end.

He laughed at me >:{

Yeah wtf is going on with the random "stranger, you" in chat?

Jeff777 busts a pedophile on Omegle.

Lol, priceless!

Stranger: Hi
You: Hello.
You: You're the first person in a while to capitalize the first letter of a phrase.
You: I congratulate you for that.
Stranger: thanks
You: And then you don't capitalize the 't' in 'thanks.'
You: You make me sick.
You have disconnected.

---------------------------

You: Hey.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl plz
You: Why?
You: I could say 13-f-CA, but you and I both know I'm not a thirteen year old girl.
You: But I'll humor you.
You: 13-f-CA
You: You?
Stranger: go to hell then what r u doing here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

---------------------------

This one was actually kind of interesting.

Stranger: http://omegle.com/
You: I'll have to go there some time.
Stranger: spring brother is a true man
You: Who is this 'spring brother?'
Stranger: where are you from
You: The east coast.
Stranger: i'm chinese
You: Interesting.
You: So do you live in China?
Stranger: spring brother is a famous man in our country
Stranger: ye
You: Where about?
Stranger: she is a woman
Stranger: but looks like a guy
You: Why is she not 'spring sister' then?
Stranger: just looks like guy
Stranger: almost everyone knows her
You: What does she do to gain such recognition?
Stranger: take part in the competition
Stranger: super woman
You: What kind of competition?
Stranger: her name is li yu chun
You: One of strength?
Stranger: singing
You: Agility?
You: Ah.
Stranger: do you konw her?
You: No, but I would like to someday.
You: Thank you kind stranger.
Stranger: you too
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

---------------------------

You: Hello.
Stranger: wana watch me jerk off
You: I wouldn't mind it.
Stranger: msn?
You: I don't have msn
You: Can you upload it to a porn site, maybe?
Stranger: then how will u watch?
You: We could meet somewhere, though that doesn't entirely sound safe.
Stranger: hold on
You: I will, as will you in a few minutes (Zing!).
Stranger: (He actually posted a link to him/some guy masturbating, kind of creepy in retrospect).
You: Awesome.
You: Thank you.
You have disconnected.