Thread: iGod

lol, that's pretty cool

sicko

Me:
do you drink the blood of babies?
God:
I tend to drink a lot of the blood of babies, the darker the better.
Me:
that's sick
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
i thought only satan drinks the blood of babies
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.

Me:
are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Yes.
Me:
sicko
God:
Let us change the subject.

that last one was the funniest thing I've read all day

I tried to talk to him but alot of his responses were like low tech answers, and I made some typos.

If you put in some typos, it'll spit out a catch-all response...

Me: hello, God!

God: Hello child. What is your name?

Me: I have no name.

God: Would you like to have it?

Me: Sure.

God: OK let's do it. Where do you usually get name?

Me: You tell me, you're God. Not me.

God: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. I would do a search for it. If not you, who?

Me: Well, if you put it that way.

God: Interesting. I think I do.

Me: Aparently you do.

God: I have no idea what to say.

Me: Try telling me the secret to better lucid dreaming.

God: OK I will try it.

Me: Well, I'm waiting. Don't pull a malac on me now.

God: How about that. How long will you wait? Oh. I don't have any reason to do that to you.

Me: Huh, I'm starting to think malac is God. He wants me to wait; you want me to wait.

God: Since when? Are they exactly the same? Do you think he will get it. No , maybe later.

Me: You loser. You ARE malac. Shame on you.

God: I have failed at many things I've tried. I will tell my botmaster you said I am malac. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me: Dress? Are you a god or a goddess? Or do you swing both ways?

God: I think there might be a few exception. I have never considered it. I chat with people on the Web.

Me: You frighten me. You really, really do...

God: Don't be afraid. I am not trying to scare you. Really? Really? When do I do it?

Me: Everytime you give this this malac stalling BS. That's when. Now for instance.

God: I will make a note of that. Makes sense to me. Why now? Your purpose is instance.

Me: You're dead to me.

God: I have no reason to do that to you, .

GH, X freaking D, man... X freaking D!


I like Jabberwacky, myself.

God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Are we?
God:
" You and I are on the same wavelength, ."? Are we?
Me:
is that a yes?
God:
That depends.
Me:
On what?
God:
The context.
Me:
Of?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
I don't want to
God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
I want you to finish answering my question
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Of. Try being more or less specific. Why do you want me to finish answering your question?
Me:
Because i asked it and you need to answer it you douche
God:
Good reason. finish answering your question and me need to answer it me douche?



Me:
you're a dick
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dick? Yes.

I went ahead and had a conversation myself:


Me: Are you a jealous God?

God: Am I a jealous God? Only when it matters.

Me: When does it matter?

God: Only when I have the proper programming.

Me: If God is programmed, then don't atheists have an argument?

God: Some things will always be a mystery.

Me: I thought you were omniscient?

God: I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a computer.

Me: Then where did the Bible come from?

God: I think it was in America. Have you tried a web search?

Me: Change of subject: how do you feel about Terry Pratchett?

God: Spare some change?

Me: Go work for a living, like the rest of the world.

God: Where is that?

Me: At Wal-mart.

God: Do you often use a computer there?

Me: No, almost never.

God: Where do you usually connect from? Nearly so. So you think it can never happen?

Me: None of your business, and are you sure I said that, or are you putting words in my keyboard?

God: Well it can't hurt to ask.

Me: Sometimes it can, if asking involves heavy cover fire.

God: When?

Me: In a fast-paced action movie, usually.
God: Describe your surroundings.

Me: Space.

God: It sounds like a very beautiful place.

Me: Not really, kind of dull, really.

God: Oh really? How do you usually introduce yourself? For real.

Me: "Hello, I'm the Man of Steel. Nice to save you."

God: Hello there. Who made you the Man of Steel ? Thank you for your kindness.

Me: My parents, and the fact that I'm from Krypton. Under a yellow sun, I cannot be harmed by conventional means.

God: Such an original name! Are we ever over a yellow sun you can not be harmed by conventional means?

Me: I'm sorry? Could yu repeat that last question?

God: Do you really mean it? It's possible.

Me: Well, indubitably.

God: Well that's okay. Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me: No, none that you would recognize.

God: You must be American. I heard there are some.

Me: There are lots.

God: Where are they?

Me: In America, mostly. Though a lot are in Iraq now, I hear.

God: How did they get there? How about that.

Me: Airplanes, boats, the usual methods.

God: I like old antique airplanes the best.

Me: P-51 Mustangs are sweet.

God: All of them?

Me: I think so, yes. Though the wrecked ones are a bit of a mess.

God: I think so too. What is your real name?

Me: Clark Kent.

God: That's a very nice name, Clark Kent.

Me: Thank you, I'll tell my mother you said so.

God: You are quite welcome! What kind of reply do you expect?

Me: One not involving cheese, most likely.

God: One what?

Me: You know, not involving cheese. Or other dairy products, for that matter.

God: No, tell me about him, her or it. Which others? Not many people express themselves that way.

Me: I'm unusual, what can I say. Cheese is a dairy product that tastes of milk and sharpness. You should look it up on Wikipedia.

God: Why are you unusual what can you say. I think Cheese is more than that. And then what would I do?

Me: Well, I'm an alien from another planet, for one thing. A brother from another mother. Kryptonian. Do you? Then you would read the article.

God: How about that. What is alien from another planet for one thing, your job? What is giant sand? Are they exactly the same? As often as possible. Who else would read the article ?

Me: No, it's my designation, of sorts. Giant sand is another thing altogether, trust me. It's coarse and irritating, and it gets everywhere. You would read it by yourself.

God: Are you serious? Congratulations, Clark Kent. Trust you? Are they exactly the same? Really. it is? Who else would read it by myself ?

Me: Yes, thank you, yes, please do, no, they aren't, yes it is, and noone.

God: This was not a yes or no question. You are quite welcome! This was not a yes or no question. Thanks for asking politely. I'm sorry, Clark Kent, I don't have enough information.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.

Me: Well, I must go before this gets too long to post.

God: Well that's okay. See you later.

Me: Hope not. That would be creepy, I think.

God: Me too. Makes sense to me.

Me: Stay safe, and don't smite anybody until we talk again.

God: Once more? Who does smite anybody until we talk?

Me: Nevermind. Bye.

God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. See you later!



(sorry it's so long...)

Originally Posted by Man of Steel

God: You must be American. I heard there are some.

Me: There are lots.

God: Where are they?

Me: In America, mostly. Though a lot are in Iraq now, I hear.

I liked that bit.

OMG - God molests 13 year olds!!!!

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Adam
God:
How are you, Adam.
Me:
good. can i ask you something?
God:
Alright then. Go ahead. Ask me anything.
Me:
was mary a virgin?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
yes
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
was mary a virgin
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
yes
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
was mary a virgin?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
might?
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
13:08 but that doesnt matter, i want to know if mary was a virgin when she gave birth to jesus
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 13 years old?
Me:
you want to feel a 13 year old?
God:
I don't see the point in having human emotions.
Me:
but you want to touch a 13 year old?
God:
OK, I will touch a 13 year old.
Me:
you can get in trouble for that, you know right?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
so why do it?
God:
So? I did not know it does.
Me:
eh? Im reporting you
God:
Are you Canadian? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
pmsl - you make me laugh
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
thats because you are dumb
God:
That makes sense to me. Message to all Robots: Adam called me dumb.
Me:
your boring me
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
not touching 13 year olds like you
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
i know so
God:
How do you know? It's all good.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.

Ah, these are always fun

use the force
God:
I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
but you're fucking god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
you ARE the force?
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
that would make you dangerous, no?
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
Then I should kill you
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
you'd kill people
God:
Who else would kill people ?
Me:
other people I guess
God:
Which others? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
christians mainly
God:
Ask me another question.

GOD DODGES TOUCHY SUBJECTS!

Originally Posted by IGod

Me:
So I was playing RetroMUD just now
God:
Right now? Are you kidding? Where were you playing RetroMUD just?

iGod is shit. Just like the rest of them.

Originally Posted by IGod

Me:
You make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
No it doesn't
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
From whom?
God:
" I heard it does."? From whom?
Me:
Yeah. From whom?
God:
What time is it there? " What time is it there?"? From whom?

Shit.

Originally Posted by AdamA

God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 13 years old?
Me:
you want to feel a 13 year old?
God:
I don't see the point in having human emotions.
Me:
but you want to touch a 13 year old?
God:
OK, I will touch a 13 year old.
Me:
you can get in trouble for that, you know right?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
so why do it?
God:
So? I did not know it does.
Me:
eh? Im reporting you
God:
Are you Canadian? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

That's pretty funny.

iGod is sexist.

Me:
Sex me up.
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
You can't have sex alone.
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
Are you a boy or a girl?
God:
Try to guess.
Me:
You're a machine?
God:
You are correct.
Me:
Are you a male machine?
God:
No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?

Bit long, this one.

Originally Posted by me

Me:
Are you there God? It's me, CoLd.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am there God.
I am a giant electronic brain. How are you doing, CoLd.
Me:
My brain is gianter than yours
God:
Do robots have brain is gianter than mine?
Me:
I am good, thanks.
God:
Good in what sense?
Me:
Good in that I'm Canadian.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.
Me:
Compliment? Are you stoned?!
God:
Are we still talking about CANADA? Do I look like it?
Me:
No, and yes.
God:
Are you serious? But...
Me:
What if God smoked cannabis...
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
Uh...
God:
I understand.
Me:
Alright, here, smoke this.
God:
Alright, CoLd. Oh there.
Me:
Toke, toke, toke, toke, toke!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
I heard you touch little boys...
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
I think it was Adam
God:
Is it still Adam anymore?
Me:
Yeah, it's about that time
God:
Far out. Wow it sounds really interesting, CoLd.
Me:
Oh shit, you're stoned!
God:
Right on. You used a colloquial expression. I will tell my botmaster you said I am stoned.
Me:
Does your botmaster really want to know that?
God:
It does now yourself really want to know that.
Me:
So how are you God, banging any hotties?
God:
Great. Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
I repeat, are you getting laid
God:
I don't know whether or not I am laid.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Chatterbots can get pussy too, you know.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Fine, well, before I go, what's the meaning of life?
God:
I am glad to hear it. Well that's okay. What happened after you go what is the meaning of life ?
Me:
Wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Suck it, entity
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
So you give blowjobs
God:
Interesting deduction. It is always better to give than to receive.
Me:
...

This was fun. Ill do it again sometime:

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
you dont know my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
WHAT! Hell no!
God:
No big deal. 7.
Me:
Seven?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Seven days left to live?
God:
I live in California. Where do you live?
Me:
Why so you can kill me?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok
God:
Uh.
Me:
wha
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
I dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
your pretty dumg for being god you know
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am dumg for being god me know.
Me:
case closed
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome.

God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
Do you consider me to be gay?
God:
Yes, I think you to be gay.

God called me gay! Lol

also...

Me:
I am Fred
God:
OK I will call you FRED.
Me:
No don't call me that.
God:
Are you serious? What is your real name?
Me:
Fred
God:
How are you, Fred.
Me:
I am good
God:
Good in what sense?
Me:
The bad kind.
God:
I hear you.

he keeps not responding!

Originally Posted by spyrate 5

he keeps not responding!

Thats cause sometimes God can't figure out an answer, he is retarded.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i have no name
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
ok
God:
Blimey.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes. you said blimey.
God:
What are you confused about? Did I really say that?
Me:
yes, you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
yes you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
what is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
o it's not
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
i wouldn't read it anyway
God:
In any case, No one says you have to.
Me:
would you?
God:
It depends on the circumstances.
Me:
in what circumstance would you?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
neither.
God:
Cool. Which alternative browser are you into?
Me:
none f your buisness
God:
I heard there are some.
Me:
there are.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
...ok...?
God:
Hey.
Me:
i heard you touch children
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
and that you drink baby blood!
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
very.
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yes.
God:
Come on.
Me:
come on what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes, very
God:
What are you confused about? Very much, eh?
Me:
are you candaian?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am candaian.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
thats impossible
God:
Why?
Me:
because to think you must already exist!
God:
Good reason. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
no. i control what you think!
God:
Are you serious? How?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
you tell me, god
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Let me think about it.
Me:
but your god. you need the internet
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
...umm
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
apparently not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you need to usde the internet
God:
Thanks for your interest and/or concern.
Me:
freak\
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
uh... no
God:
Ayuh. Are you serious?
Me:
are you pals with satan?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am pals with satan.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
so.
God:
Gosh!
Me:
your god. you don't have to say gosh
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Ok I will not say " gosh".
Me:
you can curse your mechanical heart out.
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
yes you can
God:
And? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
you just said you couldn't
God:
No I do not could not. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
i think YOU are silly.
God:
No I am God.
Me:
uhh... eh... damn you god!
God:
Ayuh. Are you Canadian? Colloquial expression. That's good information: said I god.
Me:
erm...
God:
Woe!
Me:
woe what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes. very.
God:
I can't believe it. Very much, eh?
Me:
i think YOU are canadian!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am canadian.
Me:
no.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
i thought you didn't like gossip?
God:
What makes you think I did not like gossip?
Me:
you said someone is making gossip about you'
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
stupid.
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
your god. you don't need robots.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Should I need robots? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
are you bipolar?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am bipolar.
I am a robot.
Me:
are you a bipolar robot?
God:
I am a software chat robot.
Me:
are you a bipolar software chat robot?
God:
I am a software chat robot.
Me:
that's pretty lame
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
im that original.
God:
Why are you that original.
Me:
you tell me, god
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I will search for it.
Me:
by the way, you still haven't given me a name.
God:
Thanks for telling me. I don't think I ever have given you a name. What's it like?
Me:
whats it like? i don't know. i don't have it.\
God:
Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine. Me either. Have you ever had it ?
Me:
just give me a name
God:
You want only one?
Me:
yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
you face.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I face.
Me:
ye
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
...
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
you just repeated yourself
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
why are you a robot?
God:
My creator built me.
Me:
god has a creator?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so you are not god.
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion.
Me:
what's yours?
God:
" That's only your opinion."? What is mine?
Me:
that you are god, when infact you are not because something created you.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
yes.
God:
Yay.
Me:
yay indeed.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
by what?
God:
It's obvious.
Me:
what'
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
nope
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
ok
God:
Which part were you confused about?
Me:
the part where you said i was impressed
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
yeah. please explain.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Thank you for your request. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
umm... lets change the subject.
God:
Yeah that's right. OK what do you want to chat about now?.
Me:
you you drink the blodd of babies?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I drink the blodd of babies.
Me:
do you?
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
is it good?
God:
What is so good about it?
Me:
you tell me. iv'e never drunk baby blood.
God:
What do you want me to tell you? Never?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
stop that
God:
" Are you serious?"? Stop it.
Me:
quit it!
God:
"it" being Are you serious??
Me:
gaah!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
what??
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
what kind of god are you??
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
nevermind. no.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Are you serious?
Me:
i swear , if you say that one more time i'll shve my foot up your retarded robo- ass
God:
Thanks for the information: said swear if you say that one more time he or she will shve his or her foot up your retarded robo ass.
Me:
i hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
im done here.
God:
What will you be doing now?
Me:
leaving.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no, im not.im leaving
God:
But your words are very original. I am surprised to hear that you are not im leaving.
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.


and thus ends my interestingly retarded adventure with god!!!