LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks
Reply With QuoteThis is Harry:
He's not British, but he has experience for dealing with oversized pests.
However, for larger pests, I recommend the following piece developed by an undisclosed government secret weapons development team:
(Also available in Prarie Green and English Coast Camoflauge)
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 25 of 37
- 08-20-2007 01:11 PM #1Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
A Question For English DV Members
We have a problem that needs expert opinion from the British. There is this dragon that has been terrorizing my castle for weeks now. We tried everything from catapults to magic tipped arrows, but nothing works! We hired a squad of warlocks to engage in battle with the dragon, but they were easily consumed by its firey breath, which was the biggest waste of 20 shillings I'v ever seen. The damn thing kills everything, which is good in some cases (the mountain trolls were becoming quite a concern).
The castle's defences are growing extremely streached out becuase our knight batallion was demolished in the first epic battle of Helmslock Shire. The commonfolk are loosing their will to live, and won't even pick up their broadswords. We desperately need help.
I know you lads are familiar with problems such as these, and I understand you are educated in the fine art of deamon slaying. So I ask, is there some special spell we can use to ward off the dragon? Is there a root that is poisionous to the dragon? Perhaps you could send a letter by messenger boy to the nearest elder with my question? Maybe you could send us one of your battle harderned slayers.
We can't last long. We expect a response within 1 month.Last edited by Half/Dreaming; 08-21-2007 at 11:04 AM.
Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 01:30 PM #2Senior Pendejo Achievements:
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Rock n Roll Capital
- Posts
- 2,646
- Likes
- 4
- 08-20-2007 01:33 PM #3Back by Unpopular Demand
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Gender
- Location
- England
- Posts
- 5,090
- Likes
- 6
What's a shilling?
Umm why don't you Americans send the calvary in to shoot it?NeAvO's Nightly JourneysAdopted: Hazel AngelGirl ShadowsandTerrorhawker
Courtesy of GoldneyShoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars.
Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
- 08-20-2007 01:34 PM #4Member Achievements:
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
- Gender
- Posts
- 1,531
- Likes
- 2
Are you being sarcastic or ignorant? Originally Posted by NeAvO 
What's a shilling?
- 08-20-2007 01:36 PM #5Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
Haven't you ever seen a dragon movie? Conventional weapons never work. Originally Posted by NeAvO What's a shilling?
Umm why don't you Americans send the calvary in to shoot it?Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 01:38 PM #6Back by Unpopular Demand
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Gender
- Location
- England
- Posts
- 5,090
- Likes
- 6
Heard of it, don't know how much it is though. Originally Posted by Identity X Last edited by NeAvO; 08-20-2007 at 01:40 PM.
NeAvO's Nightly JourneysAdopted: Hazel AngelGirl ShadowsandTerrorhawkerCourtesy of GoldneyShoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars. Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
- 08-20-2007 01:58 PM #7Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
As I said earlier, catapults don't work. Originally Posted by Tornado Joe This is Harry:
He's not British, but he has experience for dealing with oversized pests.
However, for larger pests, I recommend the following piece developed by an undisclosed government secret weapons development team:
(Also available in Prarie Green and English Coast Camoflauge)Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 02:35 PM #8Dr. Danger Achievements:
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- LD Count
- ~35
- Gender
- Location
- LaGrange, GA
- Posts
- 4,537
- Likes
- 54
Want me to take care of it for you, or are you dead set on getting some Brits killed in the process?
- 08-20-2007 02:42 PM #9Eprac Diem
- Join Date
- May 2006
- LD Count
- i/0
- Gender
- Location
- Canada
- Posts
- 1,957
- Likes
- 44
Threaten to set Wendylove loose on it.
- 08-20-2007 02:47 PM #10Senior Pendejo Achievements:
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Rock n Roll Capital
- Posts
- 2,646
- Likes
- 4
It's not a catapult, jackass - it's a trap!! *sigh*...As I said earlier, catapults don't work.
Let the dragon feast, I say 
- 08-20-2007 04:38 PM #11Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
Fine, but you're being the bait. Everyone knows dragons have a taste for Englishmen. They can smell the tea and crumpet crumbs. Originally Posted by Tornado Joe It's not a catapult, jackass - it's a trap!! *sigh*... Let the dragon feast, I say
No, its not that. I just know dragons run rampant in England, and that they have coped with it for aaages. By now there has to be a spell or cursed brimstone of some sort that would work. Originally Posted by Man of Steel Last edited by Half/Dreaming; 08-20-2007 at 04:43 PM.
Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 04:50 PM #12FBI agent Achievements:
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Southend, Essex
- Posts
- 4,335
- Likes
- 5
We feed them Irishmen
tends to keep the dragons at bay(\_ _/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
- 08-20-2007 05:11 PM #13Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
How many shillings do Irishmen cost? We need about a one year supply. Originally Posted by Ynot
Send a messengerboy with the shipping information.Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 05:20 PM #14FBI agent Achievements:
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Southend, Essex
- Posts
- 4,335
- Likes
- 5
Well, a pint of guinness costs 3 shillings 'n 6-pence.
as long as you can outrun the little beggars without spilling any, they'll follow you till the bitter end
The trick is to run (English running, mind you - knees up) from the local Irish pub, carrying 2 pints.
You then load the pints into your catapult, and hurl them at the dragon.
Oh those Irish'll just keep on pounding.
all the way into the dragons den, they will
trouble is, the more thirsty they are, the faster they run. So you may have to flog them first, to slow them down(\_ _/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
- 08-20-2007 05:55 PM #15Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
This still doesn't solve our problem. The dragon's bound to eat all the Irishmen and the Guiness inside, resulting in beer munchies. He'll just come back to the castle or the village below.
We need a permanent solution.Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 06:04 PM #16Wangernum Achievements:
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Gender
- Posts
- 2,368
- Likes
- 4
Just give him a fair maiden.
- 08-20-2007 06:05 PM #17FBI agent Achievements:
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Southend, Essex
- Posts
- 4,335
- Likes
- 5
This is england Originally Posted by Alex D
have you seen the price of importing fair maidens these days....(\_ _/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
- 08-20-2007 06:30 PM #18Senior Pendejo Achievements:
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
- Gender
- Location
- Rock n Roll Capital
- Posts
- 2,646
- Likes
- 4
I think he was volunteering.
How about you offer other feeding ground... Cuba?
- 08-20-2007 06:40 PM #19Saddle Up
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Gender
- Location
- Fiddler's Green
- Posts
- 909
- Likes
- 4
Theres not enough Cubans to quench the dragon's thirst. Canada would work. Plenty of mountains to hide in. Plenty of Canadians with layers of Canadian blubber to shield them from the cold... Originally Posted by Tornado Joe I think he was volunteering.
How about you offer other feeding ground... Cuba?
Plus, Canadians are easy pickings. Their igloos are easily melted with firebreath, so they have few places to hide.Still can't WILD........
- 08-20-2007 08:57 PM #20Eprac Diem
- Join Date
- May 2006
- LD Count
- i/0
- Gender
- Location
- Canada
- Posts
- 1,957
- Likes
- 44
Cause an asteroid to hit the earth. Thus causing it inhabitable by all forms of life. Including dragons.
- 08-20-2007 09:54 PM #21Dr. Danger Achievements:
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- LD Count
- ~35
- Gender
- Location
- LaGrange, GA
- Posts
- 4,537
- Likes
- 54
Or I could just come kick it's scaly ass into next year...
I work cheap, too.
- 08-20-2007 10:23 PM #22with a "gh" Achievements:
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Gender
- Location
- In marital bliss. Yup, I got married on Sept 26th, 2009!
- Posts
- 2,419
- Likes
- 0
May I suggest one of the following products from our new summer catalog? We offer 30 days same as cash!
- 08-20-2007 10:30 PM #23Dr. Danger Achievements:
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- LD Count
- ~35
- Gender
- Location
- LaGrange, GA
- Posts
- 4,537
- Likes
- 54
Originally Posted by Oneironaught
That's a ripoff, their interest is insane. Trust me, I had a womp-rat infestation awhile back that they "helped" me with. The payments'll kill your bank account.
- 08-20-2007 10:34 PM #24with a "gh" Achievements:
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Gender
- Location
- In marital bliss. Yup, I got married on Sept 26th, 2009!
- Posts
- 2,419
- Likes
- 0
You get what you pay for. Do you want rid of the dragons or not? After all, can you honestly tell me you've seen one womp-rat since using our product?
- 08-20-2007 10:40 PM #25Wanderer
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
- Gender
- Location
- On a journey
- Posts
- 2,040
- Likes
- 0
Obviously, no one here has ever dealt with dragons before.
Only a hero can defeat the force of a mighty dragon and that hero is...the Dragonchaser!
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
Bookmarks