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    1. #1
      Member SpecialInterests's Avatar
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      Real Realism for Realists

      I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are dull and need to be spiced up. They need to be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest:

      - Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

      - Drinking will significantly increase your chances of murdering a loved one.

      - If you drink long enough, at some point, you will vomit up the lining of your stomach

      - Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman.

      - Women: drink enough of this and you will spend the rest of your life raising malnourished children in a rusting trailer with a man who sleeps all day. Except for the rapes.

      I think this is more honest and does a better job at getting the point across. If they're going to bother printing warnings on this type of product they might as well tell the truth. Feel free to add your own!

    2. #2
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      I second the motion.
      I stay away from alcohol, it's a lame and dangerous drug... there are much better and safer ones...

    3. #3
      Obergefreiter
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      I highly doubt the manufacturers would put those labels on their prodcuts. It would just hurt their profit if people stopped drinking their beverages from the labels they put on it.

    4. #4
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      Tyler's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by SpecialInterests View Post
      I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are dull and need to be spiced up. They need to be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest:

      - Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

      - Drinking will significantly increase your chances of murdering a loved one.

      - If you drink long enough, at some point, you will vomit up the lining of your stomach

      - Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman.

      - Women: drink enough of this and you will spend the rest of your life raising malnourished children in a rusting trailer with a man who sleeps all day. Except for the rapes.

      I think this is more honest and does a better job at getting the point across. If they're going to bother printing warnings on this type of product they might as well tell the truth. Feel free to add your own!
      These are great.
      This shit never happens to me

    5. #5
      Member SpecialInterests's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Enzo View Post
      I highly doubt the manufacturers would put those labels on their prodcuts. It would just hurt their profit if people stopped drinking their beverages from the labels they put on it.
      It was meant to be satirical lol. I realize it would be bad for business.

    6. #6
      Obergefreiter
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      Haha ok.

    7. #7
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      Alcohol isn't completely harmful. Red wine can be rather beneficial for your cardiovascular system in moderation.

    8. #8
      never better Bearsy's Avatar
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      Or just drink resvesterol concentrate
      Let's do something that we'll regret when we're older.
      Your heart isn't keeping a beat, it's counting down



    9. #9
      The 'stache TweaK's Avatar
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      I drink pure ethanol on a daily basis.

      Okay, that's not true, sometimes I drink denatured alcohol when my pure ethanol supply is out. Is that bad? I hear some people say it's bad, but I don't think I believe that.

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