The TRULY Senseless Thread

[Man of Steel]

Don't fondle the broken monkey, please. He drank too much Richard Simmons and now thinks he is a lamp. I tried to coerce him, but his tail was too short. So now he just stands there in his lampshade-covered hammock, glowing loudly. But all is well, peaches are in the attic. As long as they don't sing along, the moon will continue to wax my shoes. Which is nice, because then I don't have to wrestle the butcher. I heard an odd picture, but it was just my foot. So that's okay.

Sometimes I wonder, what do trees believe? Do they know of Twizzlers? I think they smell them. Once a bum told me he was a wise man. He smelled of cheese and Pop-Tarts, but he said strawberries would take over the world. I started to laugh, but he showed me Elvis inside a bottle. He was green, but didn't wear plaid. I fear oranges. Unpainted sounds haunt my tender sinuses. If wishes were skyscrapers, we'd need more window-washers.

I volleyball hikers. It's fun to bookcase in the radio. When nouns are verbs, only buses will be octopuses. This I waveringly lie upon the Barney Song. Where did my arm go? I'm sure it was here a minute ago.

Stop! Nobody move. The monkey's bulb blew. Let me find a candle...

[Spartiate]

I am not nearly drunk enough to try this, but like the old saying goes, "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese". So could it be that the coaster talked to the speaker? Or is it the parasol? The rock entered the nightstand, she was greeted with loud laundry. Damn this lawn is slimy, it shouldn't be so disobedient... If only I had an Egyptian Pharaoh, maybe then the colour green would bow before me.

This is nonsense! You left the right leg on the wrong side! Gah, the government frowns upon this kind of success. At least it wasn't temporary, or else even the fish wouldn't be tasty. The clock indicates beer, so the whiskey should be thanked. I therefore invite you all to drop your pen, because I am wet. If you look behind you too fast, a ship will be dismantled. In case of an emergency, be patient and call out the pretty flowers (ooo look at the pretty flowers!).

Fine poetry is just like wood, brick and straw. It's the wiring that's important. Have faith on Wednesdays, it is trustworthy. I think of wheat. It is pronounced carpet, not sink. The birds run for the hills because the British are coming. Will the mute be late? Only time will tell...

[Universal Mind]

Wow, what is up with the sudden revelations of great surrealist writers on this site? You can see by my sig line that I am into that stuff. I am a big fan of that type of writing, and you two and Spyrate 5 have all revealed in the last 24 hours that you are great at writing it. There are a lot of people from the French surrealist movement of the 1920's-40's who honestly don't measure up to you. I'm totally serious. A lot of it bugs me because it looks like it had the potential to be good but ended up not that great. But you people have really entertained me with your stuff. Are you into the writings of Desnos, Breton, Apollonaire, etc.?

[SilverZero]

Don't you love when that paint! Seriously, though, it's almost time with me. You think I should note his texture? I hate it all. To make matters empty: My falls are going over. And you can't just excuse to be a title. You must earn your skin.

This riff-raff hangs in the sky, well beneath the covers. It's beautiful, in an orange sort of way to go. She even said so. I know, it's the thought that counts. This was all supposed to be interesting, but it just ran off without saying goodbye. Is that fan flying backwards? Oh, wait, it's my hat. Clever piece of Bigsby, that empress will be. We should all - ah, my cables are ready. And what's the deal with deal the what's and? (Wit's end?)

Tea hen.

[Universal Mind]

There was a thread like this in Senseless Banter a long time ago. This is what I wrote in it:

Hello my good morning salad, asking the goddess of the plankton mermaid, into the void we end our breakfast at birth. How does this close the door for the cook fish, Mr. Minow, sadist of the pond of reel sport at the hands of fungus jollies? No, this was not that was that, this is. Hello? Good morning, salad asking. The goddess of the plankton mermaids into the void we end. These are the colors of these, the colors these of are aurora rare roarer hair hot Hillary air heir. Fair dare, ride in the air of the mayor lair from the breakfasts of the morning field of fish we eat in the fields. The cook wields in the days of these mermaids of cheesy disease, he's in the field to cook under the heat, feeds for the grief of his death at breakfast he is born in the morning of dare to the minow layer. The pond is not there here in the death of the flair heat at the morning void fair fair fur fish burger slur.

You would be making too much sense if you were right. Who cut and pasted? The Who's cut wasted a cunt who was pasty and wasted. And it is IS back and back forth and fourth and fifth of rum and A yo B ho who hoe whoe Green elves is parsely partially partly party part E part Lee par Tee port tea Tai Tae T.

[Sandform]

If there is a formula I don't understand.
I'm confused, when I looked for the pixies all I found were snow globes. The smiles on the doorknob greated me with needles, and the blue inside the pencil tried to eat the hay. When the horses tried to say terror, nazis gave present to hormones. When the snow globe broke so the geni said no wishes and the easter cow gave me paper so I could sing about the arm that fell alongside the monkey at the top of the words. When nothing made no sense, it all was completely not unclear. Something about red on yellow just wasn't green enough for me.

[Merlock]

*sudden outburst of fast-paced dramatic music*

I shall cleanse this thread with a completely sensible and logically constructed sentence! In fact, it shall be two sentences and together, like two blades of justice in this land of darkness, they shall bring peace in place of chaos!

[Man of Steel]

Hehe, thanks, Universal Mind. Seeing spyrate's posts actually inspired me, and reminded me that I'd been meaning to make this topic for weeks. This is my first try at this stuff, actually. Your's was pretty good, yourself.

Avast! The cloak drifts nearer to the large unburdened goat. Will the far-off bun introduce Fanny to Mary? Or will the butter forever churn the farmer's wife? I hope that rain doesn't turn into clouds, for breasts are gloomy. When I rang up Mt. Ranier, it told me of a cheese wheel. But then my smile walked away in the horse's galoshes. This disappointed me, as golf clubs used to float. But alas, violet wishes abound, like crayons in a starry waffle iron. The man with no mouth told me in a yelled whisper that I should duck so my feet wouldn't get wet. If only it were that maroon. When in doubt, speak in colors. Then if you accidentally say black, yellow doesn't matter. Or blue-footed boobies. When a puffin asks you the time, good blueberries are hard to come by. I should know, I shot three. I opened the tree, but swallowed Oprah when a huge pink teapot jumped out at me wielding a trout.

Fortunately, I must now find a refrigerator for my lecture. I tried a microwave, but it was too burgundy, and tasted of alligator. Was that a flying hyena, or my sock? Oh, never mind, it went north. Where did the potato pot get that mannequin? Seaweed is altogether too drunk for my jealousy. Now if you and the desk will excuse me, I need to go read a fish.


(Oh, and no, Universal Mind, I haven't read any of their stuff, but perhaps I should give it a try, this is fun!) Edit: Thanks, people, this thread is proceeding exactly as the lampshade told the mouse it should!

[CoLd BlooDed]

Really, all you gotta do is let your mind wander at the same rate as your fingers. I love it. Anyhow...

The world is truly devout of too many juicy salmon, salmon that flock from the streams of goddess blood. Who's right is it to say that you're a genius in a balloon? A balloon could be filled with many squirrels and the amount of litter would not change. I can only imagine a more deserving graffiti mentality, swimming - no, OOZING - in the fray that becomes my asparagus. The asparagus tells me to bite, and I bite, but I chew when told not to chew. Have I become a cheese grater? Cheese grating the world into madness? Some say I have a particular knack for shredding people into rain drops of imminent torture but the sky has told me otherwise.

If it's any constellation, my life is filled with egg noodles and refried fried fries. Yes, I would definately agree if you compared me to salt. Although I would tell you I am a typical paprika-being, full of life and menstruation colouring. The rags of hypocrisy fill up to make empty bottles of ether, which one can drink and explode. Who was it that said you couldn't be a multi-coloured shade of black? Oh, yeah, the credit card with my name on it.

"A typical tantrum tastes my texting tallboy tales trapped in a testicular tallboy tan," my mother used to say. It's a shame my mother was a piece of printer, speaking metaphorically as well as visually, althought she was usually out of ink. I've always preferred an array of pink over the sound of death echoing amidst my drifting numbers.

[Sandform]

Lol I really don't get this thread at all =(

[•Neko•]

This is a fun thread string.

One day, my tastebuds came back to me from Googleland. They had been attacked by grizards and all sorts of furry chemical. They poked me to see if I was alive, which I wasn't. But anywho...

"Jumping rolex watches!" one tastebud screamed, "Art thou real or art thou replica? If thou be replica, then down with ye to the rage of voluptuous cabbages!"

Of course, I couldn't reply; I was 404.

The tastebuds looked for a vial of hairy salad dressing, and were successful. Soon after, they all drank a bit of it one by one, and each transformed into ampersands. They then trekked through endless fields of ytterbium molecules to find the lair of the evil sentence. They saw him in his immortal form: a sentence.

The sentence said, "How dare thou enter mine lair without mine permission! Thou shalt suffer the fate of long-snouted garlic cloves!!".

The ampersands weren't frightened and replied, "Not today! Ampersands, attacketh!". They all jumped at the evil sentence and jammed themselves into his innards. The sentence could be seen to suffer, as his flow was disrupted.

"And, and and and and..." the evil sentence stuttered as he started to materialise into- Oh wait, it's the phone, brb.

.

.

.

.

.

The evil sentence started to materialise into his mortal form. He then began to dissolve into garlic butter right in front of the ampersands' eyes! But the ampersands had made a big mistake. The earth began to shake, as the balance between garlic and mushrooms had been disturbed. Sentences began to corrupt, grammer becaem worse speling got bad. noone ever could rite gud sentces agen evur dis sentnc iz trully fkd up big tiem, lol.

teh end

[Sandform]

Might as well try apples...

The sun blotted out the Earth as the people of Moon shook in terror at the blankets that tried to eat the wolf. A child picked up a grocery store and threw it at the mud, which became the ground that the adults walk upon today. The fork looked for the plate, but there was no dinner for the caliphate and then the mushrooms began to shower the rain with ground. Somewhere the book found a locket of purple and had a horrible time at the rodeo. The bulls had no horses to ride and the clowns are all laughing with upside down frowns. Somehow the moon got angry when it turned red with the water of hell. The ground became clear and the orange tried to find the triangle to take it to the fair, when the sign that said hello had to say goodbye, why did it leave the grasshopper asked the man, to which the man could only reply, because the color blue, and nothing has changed.

[arby]

I have peanut butter lodged in my anus.

[SilverZero]

I have peanut butter lodged in my anus.

Boy, I hope that's senseless banter.

[Spartiate]

*Ding Ding* The cow sounds the beginning of the second round. The underwear is instantly knocked up from the powerful papercut. The statistician joins the fray but does not last long against such overwhelming numbers. At the end of the morning, every single page was airlifted by way of boat to the closest Australian capital. If it weren't for the landmines, they might not have been so early. Because of the grief they appreciated, the boomerangs ordered charges on every single mining operation. The affair went back and forth for gallons. Needless to say, the sewing industry suffered terribly, hence why the sky is blue.

Sidewalks have come a large way over the last few days, but that does not affect my sexual attraction to beautiful architecture. Today's destruction materials aren't very different from the old ones, they all require a furry seal. It's when the beer tap walks wet that trouble brews. This can be tasted on the vernal equinox.

So how do you like your air? "Icy" says the blind person to the deaf man. Personnaly I think this atmosphere is just a fad... It will blow over faster than a desperate rock. Now usually I don't make exceptions, however.

[♥Mark]

Seven children standing in a row, like some kind of post-modern fence. What does post-modern even mean? Try asking the children. Methinks it has very little to do with fence posts. Post cereal, possibly. Anyhow, I have reviewed my notes and noticed a particularly noteworthy notage (rhymes with "montage". Not the notage itself, just the word notage). Anyhow, a sponge-like consistency can be found in one of every ten samples selected at random. Which makes me[citation needed] wonder just how random these samples really are if we always end up with one in ten that has a sponge-like consistency. Anyhow, the implications are staggering. At least three books will have to be rewritten, or perhaps we can just make notages in the margins every second page or so.

Anyhow, none of that is really true (except the parts that are, but that's a subjective sort of truth (a lie)), I actually just never get a chance to use the phrase "sponge-like consistency".


Anyhow, what is true is that I have invented a new, versatile, streamlined and 199% more aerodynamic unit of measurement (that's true). The beauty of this new, more aeronautic (aeronausiating?(???)) unit is that

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!

Sorry, just had to get that out there.

Anyhow, as I was saying, the beauty of the new unit is that it can measure anything. ~*100% of everything. They are called "Standard Units (abbreviated to lb, to make the abbreviation lb even more confusing) It measures volume (loudness or bigness kinds), distance, intelligence, the number of jellybeans in a jar. But how, you ask? It's quite simple. Here's the formula which looks quomplicated but quan be qualculated on the fly quite quickly:

Anyhow, J = 1lb

Anyhow, where "J" is whatever it is you're measuring. How many beans in this jar? 1 standard unit. How long till we get there? One standard unit. How much do I weigh? Way too much to pull that new dress off <slap>.

Anyhow, as you see, lb's scale to 1 for whatever it is you're measuring. The distance from me to the moon is 1lb. The distance from me to my computer monitor is 1lb. As you can see it's very practical.

*Ignore the squiggly.

Subscribe to Coca^Cola at once!

[Goldney]

Untie?

[Sandform]

Shhh, your hat tries to find the preposition...

[pyroguy305]

What if books of feathers feast on the cds? I frighetn you all because dances run ragged silly susan. As long as you keep typing the children will not take the spoons from the cabbage. Milk me because if you don't the lantern will break and lighthouses will cry jelly beans. Mother wants me for the daily press. If you dress me i can also come to the dance party fest. However, camping in the rain just doesnt make muffins since you can't jump the dandelion.

These just kinda make me cry.

[•Neko•]

What if books of feathers feast on the cds? I frighetn you all because dances run ragged silly susan. As long as you keep typing the children will not take the spoons from the cabbage. Milk me because if you don't the lantern will break and lighthouses will cry jelly beans. Mother wants me for the daily press. If you dress me i can also come to the dance party fest. However, camping in the rain just doesnt make muffins since you can't jump the dandelion.

These just kinda make me cry.

Hahaha, that made me laugh.



Now let's get paperclipping!

[Sandform]

Everytime its always never sometimes when someone has to say something about nothing. If nothing were said then that would be absolute. Speaking in riddles about answers you already said began in the woods with the banana man () But I don't like fruit, I am a fruit, or am I a vegetable? Someone called me hot stuff once, does that mean i'm hot sauce? Way no, of course, i'm speghetti. What about the speghetti man? I need breedstick babies. Hmm, wait where is the candle? I think I left it under the mattress with the boat. Those fish are starting to smell bad.

[Man of Steel]

Wow, good stuff, guys. I'm in the mood, so...


"Oh no!" exclaimed the janitor in mock despair as the pencil dripped orange soda over the hot nurse. "Now I'll have to get the circular saw!" The nurse looked on in what sounded like detached distaste, secretly very aroused at the phallic symbolism of the pencil's eraser. But it was not to be. Suddenly, a large green Wookiee stuck his butt through the door and yelled, "What do you think you're sanding in here?!" in Gaelic. Having no response, the janitor guiltily wiped the sweat from his brow with a desk, and arrogantly curled up in the fetal position on the ceiling. The smoking hot nurse, having no other way to put out her fire now that the pencil had finished its soda, jumped out of the window into the lake, sending a cloud of steam exploding out.

Seeing this with his anus, the Wookiee decided enough was enough: it was time to call Barney, the purple dinosaur. He would know what to do. Sure enough, it wasn't long before Barney arrived at the scene, sparkly pink baton in one paw, Husqvarna chainsaw in the other. With one quick sweep of his huge evilly glowing eyes, Barney assessed the situation with ease. "I have to make a telephone call!" he stated exuberantly. "Come on, kids, let's go make a telephone call, like a big happy family!" With this, he skipped off to the phone, and immediately dialed up Elton John. "Hey there, Friend! I'm getting together a huuuuuge orgy and thought you'd like to join! Seeeee you soon!!!"

Then, with one last look at the green Wookiee, he skipped off to ready the KY Jelly pool. He couldn't wait to enjoy the homosexual orgy he was going to have after he finished slaughtering all the staff of the children's hospital and filming another episode of his television show to aid in his plan to take over the world by indoctrinating the minds of children. With a great big hug from him to us, he leaped atop the still steaming nurse in the lake, revved his chainsaw, and began cutting. As blood spattered everywhere, he chortled in glee and hopped up to find the janitor, and that pesky Wookiee, chainsaw still running, spitting gruesome chunks of nurse across the parking lot.

Meanwhile, in another part of the globe, Kermit the Frog was in a spot of trouble. He was stuck on a desert island in the middle of the Caribbean, and had resorted to eating his own stuffing after nine days of no food. But that's a story for another time...

[Mes Tarrant]

I think CB is a genius (or a small rabbit) in disguise.

This thread shall have me small and weird no more, I must flee before henceforth I become one of thee and start the ramble boat a flowing down the stream of greatness.

Oh this is easier than I thought, said the mightly lord of the land, he who doesn't like them arrangements.

I must stop before I get sucked into the whirlpool of desire, although by the looks of said triangle frog's nest, it appears that I have failed the mystery that is escape from the confounded threads of yo mamas.

[Universal Mind]

Who did the whom the Homer ask a vacuum for youm? It was a bit was a tit. Well, Will, will Will will Will's will? Groovy groom, groom soon to broom the room to assume resume zoom vacuum the boom tomb bloom. Hey hi Hawaii haze hay Hay Hayes. Time to time Tim to turn Tums to Tom on toes to tame Tonto. Bye bye bi Barbara by bike buy by Bible bobble wobble babble battle snazzle sizzle Sobel sober sipper snapper.

[•Neko•]

Who did the whom the Homer ask a vacuum for youm? It was a bit was a tit. Well, Will, will Will will Will's will? Groovy groom, groom soon to broom the room to assume resume zoom vacuum the boom tomb bloom. Hey hi Hawaii haze hay Hay Hayes. Time to time Tim to turn Tums to Tom on toes to tame Tonto. Bye bye bi Barbara by bike buy by Bible bobble wobble babble battle snazzle sizzle Sobel sober sipper snapper.

Best post ever.