Thread: Don't conquer fears, Embrace them

Bad advice. Some people may develop full-fledged phobias by doing this; by focusing on the fear. From a clinical psychological standpoint, which I know doesn't hold water with you New-age types, facing the fear is the best way to flatten it.

I gotta agree with drewmandan.

Facing the fear is much better. It doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of the fear altogether, but at least you won't suffer from the uncontrollable reactions people get when confronted with their fears when it becomes necessary to confront it.

This IS facing your fear in the only way you can face it. Fear is doubt. You can't get rid of it, as anything can always happen and there is always something to be insecure about.

What does it do to conquer your fear? Look at it and say, "Hey! Look at me! I'm dominant to you!" It is the fear that eats at you, not the source of it but the fear itself. You never dominate it, it lives with you. You can only let it have its screams, and let it go.

I am speaking about psychology, I don't see how you could have misinterpreted my post. This is about accepting your vulnerability, living with your doubt, focusing on it and feeling it within you so you can embrace it. This is the only way you can face your fears because fears come from inside you, the sources of them are an illusion.

It's like you read my post and assume it has nothing to do with science or practical thought processes. Why? This is psychology 101 shit, with real practical application because it involves meditative practices rather than just theories.

I ask you, next time you're a afraid from a thought pattern, simply observe how you react. How do you handle it? Do you rationalize it into words that'll make it feel more controllable, or distract yourself by clinging to something else? Watch and tell me if you have a healthy way of handling fear. I'm not asking you give a anything you actually had in the first place, just control.

There is a big difference between a fear and a phobia. Fear serves an actual purpose, a phobia, with its irrationality, doesn't. I don't have a problem with embracing a sensible fear, but phobias should be done away with. I'm pretty sure people have beaten their phobias before and probably still do.

Phobias are connected to repressed memories and other such things that meditating by yourself is not always the easiest way to handle, but with help and support they can be faced and relieved, too. In the end it's still about forgiveness, and you need to look it in the eye to do that.

I'm sorry then, Omnius, because I can't decode what you're trying to say. It sounds like you're suggesting that people self-talk "I'm afraid! OMG I'm afraid" over and over.

Originally Posted by Omnius Deus

Phobias are connected to repressed memories

There went your credibility

Different people respond to fear (rational or irrational) in different ways. If someone's going to jump in and face their fear, it's important to know how they're going to react.

Sometimes, someone's fear is so great that they will cause harm to themselves and/or others in order to avoid it. For some, even simple visualization will cause that person to have a panic attack, a physical reaction which could cause them to associate that fear with physical discomfort, making the situation even worse. In addition, merely thinking about the fear may not have the same effect as truly experiencing the fear. Someone who thinks about how afraid they are of dogs my not experience the panic associated with coming face to face with a dog.

While a visualization/meditation method might be effective for a number of people, it is not for everyone. If a fear is great enough - and that can only be judged on a case-by-case basis - then it should be left to a trained clinitian to determine the best way to start to get over it or at least to live with it.

My point is very simple

Psychology - Understanding the mind on a theoretical level

Meditation - Understanding the mind on a practical level

Fear isn't real. Doubt will always exist, insecurity will always exist. You can't change the world around you to eliminate this fear, because it's an endless pit. Distractions, pep talks and all that only prolong them as you push them deep within yourself.

I am talking about letting your fears go, and the only way to do that is to accept that you have them, and meditate on it. Focus on your fear, on the root, let it exist as is without rationalizing it or hiding from it. Coexist with your fears. The feelings of anxiety transform into bliss.

So to answer your question, yes and no drew. You don't understand that what I'm talking about contains no thought processes what so ever, merely acceptance of your state of being, as is. You have to accept that you're afraid, that things might not work out. Accept it, and let it be.

EDIT: Dub, maybe you should try reading the whole sentence. I was listing one example for the cause of phobias.

And good post amethyst.

I see you there. You won't tempt me to the dark side, Emperor.

I understand what you are saying about observation, as I have been practicing this for a few years now on and off. The value in mind control is staggering and I know it well. Yet I do not understand this concept of "without thought", as even when I am observing my mind, I am thinking; even though it may be very concentrated and steady.

I feel it extremely important for one to passively observe one's own thoughts to get a grasp of how their mind works; but I don't think all fear can be gotten over this way entirely. In the case of anxiety, a person is obsessive about being in pain, therefore creating pain, and while observing this can show you the solution, it is not the solution itself. The solution with this sort of fear is to force the mind away from the thoughts once a resolution on the truth of the matter has been made. This is key, as without an accurate view of the situation, burial of the matter will have the negative effect you described.

I think observation is a learning tool, but not a long term solution. It can however improve your ability to concentrate, and as a result, apply this concentration to stopping an obsessive though pattern or irrational fear. Once this is done, confidence in one's mental ability rises and as such increases the ability to control one's irrational thoughts.

I can speed up and slow down my heart rate among other odd things by just knowing that I can, and this is of course a result of observing how my mind affects my body, but "living in the moment" sort of gets in the way when actually applying these tools; at least in my experience.

My intention with that phrase was to realize your fear was something separate frm your thoughts, while you will think a lot when feeling fear, none of these thoughts can define how you're feeling. Defining it is an attempt to cut it off and protect yourself from it.

Originally Posted by Omnius Deus

My intention with that phrase was to realize your fear was something separate frm your thoughts, while you will think a lot when feeling fear, none of these thoughts can define how you're feeling. Defining it is an attempt to cut it off and protect yourself from it.

It is a curious situation looking at oneSelf from this conscious standpoint, seeing OneSelf as "feeling", yet seeing through the eyes of this person which defines feeling.

The perspective has the innate tendency to keep dragging the conscious off focus. Dragging it back to the person/self, away from the feeling /Self

The world, this self, this body/person, all reflection of Self, all a reflection of Feeling.

the conditioning is what keeps the embracement of undifferentiated Feeling at arms length....