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    1. 05-08-2007 10:20 PM #1
      trogdor1134
      trogdor1134 is offline
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      my baller sonnet

      Aeons it took to have thee in my grasp
      It’s true thine beauty that unfolds is pure
      With power do thou conquer like an asp
      Our love has been called tainted and obscure

      Yet we shall secure your right to defend
      Debate shall they about our right to be married
      My love is chaste impure can’t tend
      Your beauty hidden deep as Impures decried

      Yet love for my Athena soars above
      The highest bird from sea to sea surely
      Beauty immense never appease the drove
      Such beauty can’t be free prematurely

      Follow dear sweet our love has just began
      Through your glory shall we halt acts of man




      (if you want in a day or two i'll post the topic of the sonnet is if you guys can't figure it out)


      pleez critique and question. honest opinion
      and the trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

      Joe Green HAX LIFE
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    2. 05-11-2007 03:39 PM #2
      Folqueraine
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      Well, it does soung good, like those classic sonnets. Now, English's not my mother tongue so I don't get it all, and if there's a message I didn't get it at all!
      Except the bit about marriage... It talks to me because today I wrote my first poem after a several year-long dryspell, and it was about a more or less forbidden union. Funny.
      Sorry, I'm rambling, I hope someone will have more constructive criticism!
      Killing threads since 2002
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    3. 05-16-2007 07:13 PM #3
      trogdor1134
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      this sonnet is in the style of shakespeare yet it is a comment on korea and nuclear weapons. it is in the mind of korea speaking to the WMDs as if it were their love.
      and the trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

      Joe Green HAX LIFE
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