Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

I had just watched last Sunday's Simpsons episode about the bees before going to bed:

I was seeing Bart Simpson and he was keeping bees on his body. He was talking to some guy and the guy asked, “Don’t they sting?” Bart said, “No.” The guy said, “Well do you sting them?” Bart said, “No I don’t do that either.” The bees said, “Yeah you do.” Then Bart said, “Only if you guys sting me first.”

A kid named Myles I went to school with. "If you keep that up I'm taking the keys to the postal trucks and you'll have to quit then you'll never graduate." he said this as I was attempting to leave school.

Me to a DC with a gun:

"If you shoot me with that I'll stab your eyes out and fill them with dung so you won't be able to see shit for years!"

the DC didn't shoot

Originally Posted by Torcher

Me to a DC with a gun:

"If you shoot me with that I'll stab your eyes out and fill them with dung so you won't be able to see shit for years!"

the DC didn't shoot

LOL Priceless

My mom told me "If you keep acting like that we're only going to get you a Gateway computer for Christmas!"

"Hurry up and get the french horn or the fire will go out.!!"
it went out...

This wasnt a lucid and it was a few years ago but i remember my sister saying in a dream
"My foot is leaking"

"Ride "The Behemoth INDOOR! It's twice the fun as an adventure!" This actually made perfect sense in the dream's context. And man, was that a kickass dream.

*while scuba-diving in alaska*
Me: Why don't you have any air?
Him: The cold in the water means you don't need air *scoff*, everyone knows that!
*everyone laughs at me*

My sense of humour is strange both inside and outside the dream world.

Inside the dream world:
At a corner near my school, there is a DC running. A guy pulls up to him in a car and asks, "Are you in the Iowa race?"

"Yeah," says the runner.

"'Cuz you're in New York!" replies car guy.

Me and those two start laughing. Looking back, I see no humour in the irony....

Outside the dream world:
I was with the family from "7th Heaven." One of the sons was broadcasting live videos of random rooms, including the parents' bedroom. I walk up to the camera and see myself on TV. I contort my face, in a kind of frown, with my mouth lowered, if that makes sense. I hear someone say:

"Uh. May. Zing." ("Amazing" with a sarcastic tone and pause between each syllable.)

I wake up, think about it, and laugh. I do not know why.

I was Lucid.


I just opened my front door and saw the basic RX gundam (giant robot) walking in the distance.

Me: Wow, thats cool. As long as it doesn't come in this direct-

Giant robot: *Begins walking toward my house*

Me:*blinks twices* ... *runs to the back of the house*


I then woke up. I think if I went TO the robot the dream may have been a cool one, but you can't blame my logic...

This was supposed to be a really funny joke: "The only way to inhibit a dwarf is with a club". I thought it was hilarious in the dream.

I was doing my maths exam and the first question was "gobble".

Originally Posted by MightySparks

This was supposed to be a really funny joke: "The only way to inhibit a dwarf is with a club". I thought it was hilarious in the dream.

I can kinda see how that would make sense and be funny.

I was doing my maths exam and the first question was "gobble".

LMAO.

"The bath of WILD. Twice as fun as hypnosis!"

I was in a non-ld. And I was walking down a hallway into the main entrance snapping my fingers when I heard a tune in my head. Then 8 DC's came out of nowhere slid on the floor throwing Jazz Hands and we all started singing "Sherry Amour" peformed by the Jackson 5 all in unison.

Here's one:

In an LD I had a while back, I was in a huge cabin. Sex was on my mind, so I went up to the first hottie I saw and started hittin in from the back. To her bewilderment, she said "What the HELL are you doing?"

I said, "Don't worry honey, it's just a dream. Nothing matters."

She said, "10 4."

Lol a few good ones from last night, which was actually my best lucid yet, and i did the TOTM

There was this square hole in the wall five feet up it, and you could see a staircase inside of it. I ask a woman from my church, "What is that?" She looks at me like i'm retarded and says "It's a fireplace!"

I was running from a police dog in a non lucid, and i jumped really high in the air, and the dog came with me and we fell into this pond. As i hit the water somebody said "Sucks that that dog only has 30% insurance coverage." and a graph popped up in my vision showing me the dog's insurance coverage and how much they are gonna have to pay if he gets hurt. The dog got shot later on in the dream lol.

Best one:

I was about to take a ride in Santa's sleigh in a lucid to do the TOTM. He didnt take me where i wanted to go, but i asked him "Can you take me to my girlfriend's house?" He said "Why isn't she here?" And i said "She was...dissatisfied."

LOL

Originally Posted by phazerxl

Here's one:

In an LD I had a while back, I was in a huge cabin. Sex was on my mind, so I went up to the first hottie I saw and started hittin in from the back. To her bewilderment, she said "What the HELL are you doing?"

I said, "Don't worry honey, it's just a dream. Nothing matters."

She said, "10 4."

That's really, just, the perfect DC response. I lol.

Surrounded by wraiths and some kind of other monsters, I am in the corner, my fists raised to guard and then some giant monster hands me a beer and says : "We have heated sauna, wanna join us? We have succubi and stuff"
Before I could reply other daemon kind of thing says while handing me a towel : " You don't have to if you don't want to, but in that case we will be very sad"

This has become somewhat epic entry in my dreamjournal..

we have succubi and stuff.. lols..

but, HOLY SIITE, this thread is a BEAST!!!!!

Originally Posted by Unelias

Surrounded by wraiths and some kind of other monsters, I am in the corner, my fists raised to guard and then some giant monster hands me a beer and says : "We have heated sauna, wanna join us? We have succubi and stuff"
Before I could reply other daemon kind of thing says while handing me a towel : " You don't have to if you don't want to, but in that case we will be very sad"

This has become somewhat epic entry in my dreamjournal..

we have succubi and stuff.. lols..

BrilliantxD

it wasnt lucid but last night i got inna fight with this kid i hate in my dream and he said
"yo your an easter egg"
wtf?

Me: "Cappuccino cake salad sandwich, anyone?"

DC: we will need a giant spoon to ride this banana boat!
me:* searching for a giant spoon*
----------------------------------
Me:we must run!
DC:i like bananas!