DCs Say the Darndest Things

**Loaf** · 10-24-2009 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Well now what?

I was round the back of my school. I was nude and was trying to put my clothes on behind one of the rooms so I couldn't be seen. The my English teacher walks past and says something along the lines of: "Ah, getting dressed behind the building so no one can see you. Very cunning."
I later enter the school and there he is again. I pick up a copy of Lord of the Flies and he says: "Ah, Lord of the Flies. Very cunning."

Ha ha, thats quite funny!

**Well now what?** · 10-25-2009 12:56 PM

I have returned with another experience. This is from about five or six years ago, and it's always stuck with me.

I was inside a mighty cathedral with many of my friends. We were all ghosts except for one, who climbed up to a balcony, and fell off, becoming a ghost. I then noticed an altar and made the following expression about it: "Look, an altar. Ancient Egyptian mummies put that there."
My friend replied: "No, it was created by monks."
Immediately after he said that, from somewhere deep inside the cathedral, I heard monks chanting: "Created by monks."
Then we all flew through the wall at high speed into the next room. Here there was an old guy in a chair, and he was looking at another of my friends who seemed very angry.
"Whoever left the door open upside-down is gonna get a thrashing!" he said. Sure enough, he was next to a door that had been left open and it was upside-down in the wall. The door bore a sign that I think read: "Sorry for locking you in here old man," but I'm not 100% sure about that.

This dream is an epic classic amongst me and my friends, and after all these years we still randomly say the "created by monks" bit to each other, and even to other people who we never told about it.

I will return with more quotes soon.

**yuriythebest** · 10-25-2009 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by Well now what?

"Created by monks."
.

lol!! you should trademark it!

**Well now what?** · 10-29-2009 09:28 AM

Ha, cheers for the great picture, Yuriythebest.

Anyway, another recent one I had recently. I don't think it's as impressive as the others I've mentioned, but here goes.

I was at home and had just become lucid. I entered my kitchen asnd say my mother and her mother. I asked them both: "Have you got anything interesting to tell me?"
My mother's mum replied: "My paw hurts," referencing to her hand.
My mother said: "Beware of collective organisations." (Whatever they may be.)

I'll browse through my dream journal to see if I can find any more interesting ones.

**epicdreamer371** · 11-01-2009 03:09 AM

i was at my grandmothers house and there was a doctor
me:" Theres something wrong with my vagina can you see what it is?"
Doc: "yeah sure just hold on "*walks out of the room... then comes back*
I lay down on the bed with only my robe on and nothing underneath i spread my legs open
My dad appears at the door
Dad: "SHE HAS HER F****** LEGS SPREAD OPEN FOR HIM!!!"
me: "GO AWAY!!!!"
he leaves
doc:* pulls out a orange stick thing and inserts it....*" Only a little further ... a little more... a little more...." *pulls it out"
me: " Whats wrong with it?"
Doc: "well i wont know for sure but you have the hornets".
me:"oh okays."
the scene changed and we were in the bathroom talking then we were in the room and he was sleeping and i was putting quilts and blankets on him and he kept tossing and turning and he woke up realized it was me and smiled.

..... now that was an odd dream....

*** Diamond Eyes *** · 11-03-2009 11:35 AM

A couple nights ago, I was in a lucid dream and flew into someones apartment building through the window..There were like 5 Dc's there.. They were kinda confused as to how I got there. One of them said " maybe she came in through the fire escape?" then the other DC replied " We don't have a fire escape, we live on the 20th floor!" haha..thought that was kinda funny.

**yuriythebest** · 11-03-2009 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by * Diamond Eyes *

A couple nights ago, I was in a lucid dream and flew into someones apartment building through the window..There were like 5 Dc's there.. They were kinda confused as to how I got there. One of them said " maybe she came in through the fire escape?" then the other DC replied " We don't have a fire escape, we live on the 20th floor!" haha..thought that was kinda funny.

**Dream scientist** · 11-03-2009 08:45 PM

Tell it, sister.

**Well now what?** · 11-05-2009 09:56 AM

I have another strange experience I uncovered in my dream journal.
First of all, understand that my old English teacher is a Lord of the Rings fan, and is quite knowledgable on the subject. There was a question I wanted to ask him in real life but I missed my chance. I then found myself asking him the question in two different dreams.
My first was like this: I asked him if I could ask him my Lord of the Rings question, and he said that I could only if I did it quietly. My question was this: "What do you think would have happened if the fellowship decided to leave the ring in the hands of Tom Bombadil?" That was my real life question, word for word in this dream. The answer I received was: "I think it would have been better."
I got a much more amusing answer in my second dream. I was in a forest when I found him and asked him the same question again. This time he told me that he would most likely eat it, then poo on the ground and the ring would grow into a tree.

I shall find more and return soon.

**LucidDreamer15** · 11-07-2009 09:22 PM

I have one

My Brother: Hey Skillz Polina's outside
Me: Ok
My Sister: Hey Polina did you play Tennis in the shower
Polina: Tennis is good and showers are great.

Didn't quite make sense but it was pretty funny when I woke up.

**Sutternalt** · 11-09-2009 07:08 PM

So, I was in this great, big, futuristic, dark city and some total stranger DC came up to me and said:

DC: Hey, listen. You want some porta-gens? I got lotsa porta-gens.
Me: No, sorry, I only drink juice in dreams.
DC: Hold on, stop everything [to which the world actually froze]. You're dreaming.
Me: I know.
DC: Don't you wanna do something? Like fly, or be lucid, or do a reality check?
Me: I would, really, but I've got to get to that juice.

At which point I left.

As soon as I remembered that one, I smacked my forehead. Juice‽ Over a lucid dream‽ Really!

**Well now what?** · 11-10-2009 09:35 AM

I have remembered a few that a couple of my friends told me about several years ago.
One of them contained this: My friend said he saw me in his dream, and I myself spotted a sweet shop and shouted: "Look! A sweet shop! Let's go in!" I then reportedly ran forward but when I got to the door I went to sleep on the doorstep, before slowly fading into nothingness. Then someone else we used to know came running down the street shouting; "Mamma mia! I've lost my pizza!"

Another friend of mine said he was getting chased through a forest by a ringwraith from Lord of the Rings in a dream once, but when he was cornered, the shadowy figure dismounted and said: "Pizza!" in a very delivery-boy tone voice, before producing a box containing said pizza.

Very pizzary ones there.

By the way Sutternalt, about your idea tagged to the end of your above post about playing musical instruments, I have done that. But I wasn't lucid so I don't know if it counts. I once in a dream played a perfect recreation of Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells on a pen by hitting it with another pen. Sounded great.

**redisreddish** · 11-13-2009 09:48 PM

"Stop nudging the lemon tree, you're gonna make it sour!"

**lucidreamsavy** · 11-15-2009 02:36 PM

In my dream this morning, I was some other person (I am a lot), and I was going out with some guy on our second date. I was back at "my house", getting out of the car. I decided that it was over between him and I but I said "we're un".

LOL!

**Johnbronze** · 11-15-2009 06:02 PM

"Don't be silly, of course that snarling noise is coming from your mother!"

That almost made me crack a smile until i found out what the noise was actually coming from.

**Well now what?** · 11-16-2009 09:40 AM

I have one more with me now that happened recently.
Something was happening in my bedroom. By the looks of it someone was sleeping in my bed and his two friends were distracting him by repeatedly coming in to tell him inappropriate nonsense. I was actually in the room while it was happening, but I guess I was like a ghost because the people were ignoring me as if I wasn't there.
But anyway, one time the guys came in, one of them said: "Did you know that when you take your hood off you're a billion times more likely to get cancer?"
I interpreted this as the reason why many chavs tend to wear hoodies. They looked a little bit like chavs and I think one of them was wearing a hoodie.

**acatalephobic** · 11-21-2009 05:00 PM

N: [more or less] "Why is everything so difficult for me?"
DC: "Because you live your life like it's 1996."

**DeeryTheDeer** · 11-21-2009 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by Sutternalt

So, I was in this great, big, futuristic, dark city and some total stranger DC came up to me and said:

DC: Hey, listen. You want some porta-gens? I got lotsa porta-gens.
Me: No, sorry, I only drink juice in dreams.
DC: Hold on, stop everything [to which the world actually froze]. You're dreaming.
Me: I know.
DC: Don't you wanna do something? Like fly, or be lucid, or do a reality check?
Me: I would, really, but I've got to get to that juice.

At which point I left.

As soon as I remembered that one, I smacked my forehead. Juice‽ Over a lucid dream‽ Really!

Did you taste the juice? It could have been worth it if it tasted reeeaaalllllyy good.

**Loaf** · 11-22-2009 07:02 PM

“You know what clouds are made of don’t you, son?” he asked. I was fading in lucidity here.
“Uh... they are just gas aren’t they. Water or something?” I said.
“No. Clouds are made of women's breast milk. Where else would it come from?”

- Clouds, page 4, Loafs DJ

**Kraftwerk** · 11-22-2009 07:53 PM

"stop Trying To Fly"

**Rena_Chan** · 11-30-2009 04:04 AM

I was lucid and I decided to ask my mom what she knew about lucid dreaming. She replied, "Isn't that a country in Africa?"

**Caprisun** · 11-30-2009 04:00 PM

(Sitting in the waiting room at an eye doctors office)

Doctor: (Explaining to me how he fixes cataracts with surgery)
Girl from Work: Light is measured in bars. Think of it this way- Sometimes it rains water and sometimes it rains dogs.
Me: (I go on to compliment her for coming up with such a brilliant analogy.)

(Running through a very dark forest at Marine Corps boot camp)

Me: (Running by, minding my own business)
Very Old Female Drill Instructor: IM 45 YEARS OLD!!!! (Shes obviously much older- more like 70)
Me: YES MA'AM!!!! (Said with a smirk on my face)
Very Old Female Drill Instructor: (Gives me very dirty look)

**Loaf** · 11-30-2009 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by redisreddish

"Stop nudging the lemon tree, you're gonna make it sour!"

Awesome
I love this one

**Well now what?** · 12-02-2009 11:55 AM

My friend told me they asked to someone in a dream "What is the meaning of life?" The answer was "Chuck Norris."
One more of my own: Homer Simpson was there and he met this guy called Chuck Milds (curiously enough), and he asked him how to be successful. Chuck Milds listed a few possible ways, and ended with "...Or you could do what I did, and that's to get up, and lay your tits down."
I also heard in a dream ages ago a very strange song. I knew it to be a new song by The Beatles, but there was no music so to speak, just the sound of rain and thunder on a ship out at sea. The lyrics were shouted rather than sung, and I think they went something like this: "YAAAAAAAHHHH! JERRRRAAAHHHH!! WEIGH ANCHORRR! MAST E RIGGING, PIECES OF EIGHT!! SEVEN AAARRRRGGGHHHH SAUSAGES!!!"
It was very scary, I tell you that.

**Lseadragon** · 12-02-2009 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by A dream where I had to fight a bunch of people in a video game, coming from an inanimate voice

You're not allowed to fight Doseone. Instead, you must stand next to him and mutter about his shoes. This will make him very offended.

Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

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