Thread: Nightmare that feels real

Hi

New to this site but hoping someone can intrepret this dream for me. I'll give you some background first.

I'm 32 and recently my fiance passed away. he had been ill long before I met him and got worse over the last 2 months. He died in November 2007, we had been engaged 6 months and were talking about the wedding hours before he died. I miss him loads every day and I'm struggling to move on because of the dreams I keep having. One dream is of me finding him and how i felt, a slow motion reply if you like of that night which is bad enough. The dream I need help with is as follows;

I don't know why but in my dream i am drawn to a residential estate, no idea where it is or if it's real, i park the car and turn right at a corner and i am standing in front of a small terraced house. Sitting in the front is my fiance and his best mate, chatting and my fiance is playing his pennywhistles, his best friend is playing his guitar and singing......like nothing has happened. i feel confused, thinking he should be dead but here he is alive and why hasn't he told me or called me or come to see me. He notices me and so does his best friend. His best friend hangs around while we talk about what has happened. he says he couldnt risk telling me cos people were after him for money (debts he owed to companies etc), he didnt want to hurt me more than he had already. he said he loved me still but couldnt be with me cos of everything he had left behind. By now I am crying and shouting, doesn't he understand that he's hurt me more this way than by not telling me. I'm shaking and upset, confused, hurt everything you can feel. I leave knowing i'll never see him again and when i speak to friends they all knew but me. Now i feel btrayed on top of everything else. I feel so alone and dont know what to do. then I wake up tears streaming down my face and it takes some minutes before I realise it was a dream.

I still keep in touch with his best friend who is now my best friend, i try to tell him but he doesnt know what to say. I need some help with this before I lose my mind...........what does it mean? Does it mean anything at all?

Thanks

Sam