Thread: why am I here

If those concepts that arise truly worry you and concern you then it makes sense that your subconscious shows them to you and the intensity of it all may be explained by the level of concern on any given subject.

Lucid dreams are a powerful tool to confront one's inner self including fears, concerns, etc. it seems.

Originally posted by madgco
Ok so I started the DJ over a month ago. *A friend suggested I read Dream Views websit and I started right up.

*My question is.. *I am keeping record and analysing the dreams and now I find myself seeing things I was trying to hide within myself. *Things like sarrow, self pitty, lonliness, anger, ect ect. . *I was trying to keep these emotions covered up or underwraps, now they seem to be overwelming as I analyse more and more. So, why am I here and why do I keep doing this to myself? damn it! *Why?

Your dilemma puts me in mind of what they say about Pain Killer Pharmaceuticals, and that is that they only block the symptoms of one’s ailments. You had been covering up and blocking your sorrows, self-pity, loneliness, insecurities, rage, etc – you have been ‘pain-killing’ them so that you would not notice that they are within you. But your attention to Dreaming has uncovered them.

Well, the wisdom of the moment would suggest you begin to deal with these problems. I have a few ideas you might try. Regarding loneliness – I much prefer Cats over dogs, because I am away often and Cats can do better being alone themselves for a spell, but if you can be home nearly all the time, dogs can be very companionable. Yes, I know of the Social Stigma of being considered a “Cat Lady”, but then we should appreciate the accepted and acknowledged understanding that rests behind that pejorative term, and that is that everybody frankly concedes that Cats are very effective in alleviating the pangs of Loneliness. The public in general may think it some form of cheating, to resort to animal companionship in lieu of Human companionship, but who is keeping score anyway. As the Sailors say, “any port in a storm”, and if you are lonely, then get a Cat. Oh, and as something of a Feline Expert, may I suggest you not get a cat based on its prettiness or how pathetic it is compared to the other cats, no… get the Friendliness, Healthiest and most aggressively affection cat you can find. Get the Cat that comes to you and yowls in your face “take me home” and that purrs like a little engine when you pick it up. No, don’t do some pathetic aloof cat any favors. Remember, you are the one with the problem here, so find a Cat with the strength of character that will pull you out of your doldrums. So many people bring home pathetic cats because they think that the Good Ones will get other homes, and the pathetic ones are the only ones in danger of being put down for not getting homes before they become so old that they no longer sell well as kittens do. Well, the result here is that Good Cats are put down for not finding homes, and the pathetic ones that do go out never become very good cats, and these Cat Owners wonder what the big deal about Cat Ownership is supposed to be, because they brought home a particularly stupid, neurotic, or even hateful cat – more annoying than companionable. So, for your own happiness, show no mercy to any second rate cat, and rescue a Cat that truly not only deserves to live, but would do a good job at as well.

Self-Pity can be confronted by examining your Second and Third Order Self Expectations. 2nd Order Self Expectation are what you want to be, while you may still be lacking the knowledge and skill Inventories to actualize your desires in those regards. Like wanting to be a Doctor, but not having gotten into Medical School yet. Third Order Expectations are the things that you wish you would wish for. That would be like wishing you wanted to be a Doctor, but that you know you don’t really care about sick people and that you are afraid of blood. Now, the reason you have Self-Pity and a low self-esteem is that you have a Huge Pile and 2nd and Third Order Expectations which you are doing nothing about. Falling below your own Expectations for yourself weighs upon you. What you need to so is to translate some of your 2nd Order Expectations into First Order Actualization by working on those skills, knowledge inventories and credentials that will make you what you want to be. Regarding your 3rd Order Expectations – well, either give them up – exorcise them, or turn them to 2nd Order by eschewing whatever you thought was disinclining you from them. For decades I had a 3rd Order desire to be a linguist, but thought myself poor at languages. Finally I decided that poor at language or not, simply buy the books and get started. Learn a new word a day, only make it a foreign word. There, I felt better about myself almost instantly. But sometimes people have unrealistic or even counter-productive 3rd Order Desires – to be Movie Stars or Rock and Roll Idols only they know they can’t act or sing. Well, these will weigh a person down who does not examine them and determine that such people are not any happier than other forms of successful people. Any Successful Person is ‘famous’ among his own immediate colleges. It does not take the World’s Acclaim to make someone feel appreciated as long as one’s immediate Peers and Colleagues are carrying one about on their shoulders. King of the Office is as good a feeling as being King of the World. So through away silly childhood 3rd Order Expectations, while giving an honest look at the 3rd Order Expectations that might actually be sensible.

With Rage and Anger, much of the popular wisdom is that one has to “let it out”, but NO. Anger and Rage or the one kind of emotions that are best contained. Anger is and Rage when contained are like gasoline in the tank, but when let out they explode and burn one’s outside and leave one empty on the inside. You know what I am saying, don’t you. That an expression of intense anger will linger with one for days. You lose sleep over expressions of Anger. You lose appetite after angry confrontations. It is always better to contain anger. But there is the “Going Out and Yell and Scream in the Woods” therapy. As long as the Angry Expression is not concretely connected to a Social Interaction, that is, a War you have started with somebody, then there should be not so many of the thoughts swirling through the mind – what I should have said – why I was right and the other person wrong – all those Post Anger considerations that hang upon us like a dark cloud. So go off by yourself and without thinking of any particular situation to get your mind racing, just express on Unspecific Anger. Release some tension by yelling and screaming. Now, if you find you were in fact not alone, and somebody comes running to your assistance, then simply switch over to singing the refrain to “Tomorrow Tomorrow” and explain that you had simply been rehearsing.

So, anyway, what you have uncovered is a good thing, ultimately speaking, though it has pointed out that you have a great deal of work cut out for yourself. Congratulations. Now get started.

Ok well, I have to say ,maybe I didnt state my emotions perfectly. Sory I do not know how. I still can not even go there. Im all messed up from analysing my dreams. I am not liking what I find out thu dreaming. I dont know how long I will be able to keep this up. Sory I even posted to begin with.

Originally posted by madgco
Ok well, I have to say ,maybe I didnt state my emotions perfectly. *Sory I do not know how. *I still can not even go there. Im all messed up from analysing my dreams. I am not liking what I find out thu dreaming. I dont know how long I will be able to keep this up. Sory I even posted to begin with.

Actually, your Dreams are not the reason behind your impending Nervous Breakdown. They were just signposts along the way. Your increased interest in dreams was your Mind's way of attempting to grasp for some form of rescue or to find some stability in the face of this coming collapse. yes, apparently your dreaming was ineffective, and your decline appears inevitable, but you can hardly blame the Medicine for the Disease -- if the Medicine is ineffective, it only testifies that the Disease was stronger.

Your nervous breakdown was long in the making. I would think that your Dreams had been your one last chance of personal salvation... if you had made all of the right choices then perhaps you could have shored up that element of Character which is now so apparently crumbling.

But, there may still be time. One Last Huge Dream of Spiritual Intervention could yet save you from complete emotional collapse. You might suggest to yourself that you be receptive to a Strength that can only be given to you now from some Higher Source.

Nicely put Leo. Maybe I get it now..... Last night before I went to bet I asked aloud..

" please unconcious mind sort through my concious minds termoil, please bring me a sense of peace and understanding."

As for this nervous breakdown, I truely believe it was the dream analysing that brought it on. I was actualy living happier and healthier than ever before. Taken a new path, a path of enlightenment. Up untill trying to analyse myself. Now it seems I dwell on things. I have stoped living in the moment stoped accepting this moment for what it is whithout wanting it to be somthing else. But NO more!

I will keep on dreaming and recording them. just maybe I should stop thinking about them,try to analyse them. Or not see them as truths but as options I have. Because truth is like a dead end. There is no truth in life, it is always changing, this is my thought on impermanance.

Well thank you again for your take. I do love getting info from all ends.

Peace
Onelove
Mrs.D

Originally posted by madgco
Nicely put Leo. Maybe I get it now..... * Last night before I went to bet I asked aloud..

\" please unconcious mind sort through my concious minds termoil, please bring me a sense of peace and understanding.\"

As for this nervous breakdown, I truely believe it was the dream analysing that brought it on. I was actualy living happier and healthier than ever before. *Taken a new path, a path of enlightenment. *Up untill trying to analyse myself. *Now it seems I dwell on things. *I have stoped living in *the moment stoped accepting this moment for what it is whithout wanting it to be somthing else. *But NO more!

I will keep on dreaming and recording them. * just maybe I should stop thinking about them,try to analyse them. *Or not see them as truths but as options I have. *Because truth is like a dead end. *There is no truth in life, it is always changing, this is my thought on impermanance. *

Well thank you again for your take. I do love getting info from all ends. *

Peace
Onelove
Mrs.D

Have you ever heard of the Psychological/Metaphysical phenomena called "Synchronicity" -- what that means is that apart from the dynamics of Cause and Effect, we have cources of action that operate side by side; and where Cause and Effect is straight-line Linear, synchronicity speaks to holistic developments that evolve in parallel. In this sense, I do not see your interest in dreaming as so much the cause of your troubles.

But, yes, even though I am a great advocate for Dreaming, enough is enough, and, Yes, you could indeed use a rest. It is the same regarding any practice of Spirituality. Often the enthusiasm of energetic Initiates causes them to bite off a great more than they can readily digest and leads to various symptoms of burn-out. While we all appreciate the importance of Breathing In, we still must recognize the equal importance of once in awhile breathing out as well. So take a break from writing your dreams down. and while you should not make it a policy to totally ignore your dreams, you can give yourself the Suggestion to place a Signal in any truly important dream so that you might give it any extra attention, but then tell your Dream Mind that you will simply allow the experience of dreaming, but for the time being, the experience will have to be enough, and for the sake of your sanity you will not intentionally and deliberately revisit your dreams with reflection and analysis. Take a much deserved rest.

Great advice Leo, I will give it a shot. I will continue to keep the journal without analysing it. This may be hard for me, but I will try. Thanx again
Peace
Mrs.D