Thread: Is Everybody Depressed?

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

I'm not sure where to post this, but I think I'll just settle here.

I'm pretty encouraged and motivated to totally get over my depression once and for all, not only with my meds but with regular exercise and meditation. I notice that even a little bit of light meditation brings later an unexpected, random few seconds of feeling alive again.

The only thing stopping me, however, is this: what then, once I'm totally better? Will I be able to share my joy and happiness with everyone else on the same wavelength? Or in these troubled times we live in, would nobody else understand my joy or get it? Does everybody else feel numb, cynical and unimpressed by everything?

Sure, I can feel happy and excited from my diversions, but to feel like a kid again, when everything feels real and substantial like there's an actual future on the horizon, is that still possible?

Yep, people are pretty cynical and whatnot nowadays, but they're still capable of feeling joy. Just remember, though...the only one in this world that really counts is yourself. If for no other reason, do it for yourself. Probably not the most helpful post out there, but I thought I would toss it out there anyway.

Well it seems like that if people are around happy people, they themselves are happier because of it.
When I lived with my best friend, I was hardly ever depressed. When I got sad, she made me go do something, and get away from it. When she was sad, I did the same for her because I wasn't.
Now that I am will me oh so emotionally challenged boyfriend, I too have found myself down again. Although, I won't lie, I have gotten ALOT better, and I think because I have he has.

People feed off of others hormones and chemicals. If you are happy, inevitably the people around you will soak you up like a sponge. No need to worry about those kinds of things beautiful lady . That's what makes you depressed. Kill the anxiety. Just let the happiness flow !!

-patience

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Sure, I can feel happy and excited from my diversions, but to feel like a kid again, when everything feels real and substantial like there's an actual future on the horizon, is that still possible?

Maybe the diversions are what keep you away from your happiness, not what keeps you away from depression. That kid you were once is the kid you will always be at heart; we're all kids at heart anyway, right?

I'm not going to ramble on about the nature of children because we all know how it is and always have it whether it's forgotten or embraced.

So look at yourself this way: happiness is your nature. NOT the other way around.

As early as the age of six, the media, the news was telling it was the end of the world. Back at the age of six there were all sorts of programs on the tele about doomsday, the second coming, plagues, and moons that were blood red

They got to me you know. They made me feel, what's the point? I'm going to die soon anyways. Even though I was young, I was still old enough to be apathetic.

I found this apathy only increased as time went on. When I was about eight, I learned about pollution. But four years later in middle school I saw absolutely no improvements. The world was still polluting. We've known for years were polluting, but were still polluting. People weren't changing. People were numb. Mindless zombies.

And you know what? Being apathetic sucks. It's boring. Theres nothing to look forward. Theres nothing to become. No inspiration. No passion. No drive. Nothing. Same old same old, get pissed drunk boring ass crap.

I envied the hippies who came before me. Sure they got a bad rap, but you know what? Some of those hippies are still hippies today. AND THEY ARE HAPPY. Not only are they happy, they aren't apathetic. They're pro-active. They look forward. They're humanitarian.

But more importantly, they understood that happiness isn't something they can find in the world. They understood that happiness was a choice. A responsibility. And the truth is, only 'happy' people get off their ass and do something productive for the world

Apathy and depression go hand in hand. It's a feeling of being a victim. Of powerlessness. That this is the way the world is and there is nothing we can do about it. Look at the clinically depressed. What do they say? They say it's not their fault they are clinically depressed, and even, they are always going to be clinically depressed. That's the ultimate victim-hood.

Well, you can do something about your sorry life. You can choose to walk away from apathy, depression and victim-hood. But only you can choose to. That's the catch.

Further more, when you choose to walk away from that sorry life, you'll find you're going to lose some of your old relationships. Because not everyone you love is so willing to change, or wake up the responsibility that it is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO CHANGE. Some people would try to hold you back out of fear of change. They make fun of new agers and hippies and tree huggers. They'll try to make you feel stupid for even caring. Because they want you to believe there is no point in caring.

You can try to change these indivuals. You can try to wake them up, that you can be better, live better, feel better. You can't.

It is a choice that only you can accept, when you accept that no one can do it for you. And also, a choice you can only accept, when you accept that you can.

As Juroara has said, the choice will be yours.
The ever famous words, "I can only show you the door."

What you need to understand and absorb is that you are fully capable of
causing major change in the world. I believe that a primary cause of
depression and apathy stems from this view that the world is not as
interactable as we wish it was, or that there just isn't anything to do
that is meaningful. We are given an image of life through media outlets that
often only displays a very small scope of possibility for what we can become.

Do you want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a mechanic? Everything is neatly
packaged. You have more choices, though. You can walk out your door this
instant, if you wanted to, forget your worldly responsibilities and be gone for
as long as you like. If you already have the resources, you could undertake a
project, anything you like. You could settle into an indigenous society in
another country, take up shamanism, learn to perform archery from
horseback, whatever. You could become a true to life god damned pirate if
you wanted to. That's the point.

Every choice has its risks. But it is not correct to think that life only exists
primarily within four walls. You have a choice to do whatever it is that
interests you, and to pursue what interests you, what you love, will make
you happy.

I think this link should help. It's pretty much about meditation through all day: stopping thoughts (the useless ones). I'm only beginning but it kinda helped me stopping brooding and stay strong at some hard times I wouldn't before.

http://www.kesdjan.com/exercises/st.html

Your mood is largely dependent on where you focus your attention. I am disenchanted by our economy, cynical about our government and sometimes fearful about what motivates humanity at large, but I focus most of my attention on those things that make me happy; learning to play the guitar, turning a bus into a camper to drive across country, the people that I love and who love me, and my own personal desire to make the world a better place. If you focus your attention on those things that depress you, you will be depressed. There are plenty of people out there that will continue to live happy and fulfilling lives no matter what happens and they are pretty easy to find because they radiate happiness and make everyone around them feel at least a little bit better. If you focus on finding these people instead of the depressed people in the world, it will make you happier too.

There is something in the water these days for sure...

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Sure, I can feel happy and excited from my diversions, but to feel like a kid again, when everything feels real and substantial like there's an actual future on the horizon, is that still possible?

I only feel that happy and alive when I don't have a job.

On a more serious note, exercising and meditating on a regular basis will help you a whole lot with your problem. I know exactly what type of blahness you are talking about. It is so encompassing that it has you believing life itself is lame and real pleasure is not even a possibility. However, it is. You just have to get your body to the right state so your brain can feel right.

I always suggest antidepressants and research concerning hypoglycemia when I talk about this.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

I only feel that happy and alive when I don't have a job.

Cheer to that :p

something that helps you take sadness out of you mind, is knowing there's nothing you "really" have to do, some people say you do, that you have to look out of yourself, I say look inside mostly , then you'll choose what to do, to bring something you want into your life.

another way , is freeing yourself from the ilussion of Bad/Good, there's nothing bad or nothing good, things just are how they are , not understanding this makes you go to another point wanting to control something, you say "that" is bad , it's the need to control things that are out of yourself to fit your mindset, letting go will also bring more happiness into your life.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

The only thing stopping me, however, is this: what then, once I'm totally better? Will I be able to share my joy and happiness with everyone else on the same wavelength? Or in these troubled times we live in, would nobody else understand my joy or get it? Does everybody else feel numb, cynical and unimpressed by everything?

First I just want to applaud your decision, because depression IS a choice (obviously never tell this to someone who is depressed lol)...so it's great that you've decided to see the light and make some real changes to your life. Secondly, don't let it "stop you" from overcoming your depression and seeking healthier mindstates...that's a poor excuse and I think you know it. Thirdly, no...everyone is not depressed. But when you are depressed it is easy to see the world this way. Often when people are depressed they spend a long time wallowing in their own misery and self pity, seeking out (consciously or subconsciously) others who share in this mind state and feed off of each other's negative energy creating a swirling vortex of god awful shit that is like a black hole which then becomes extremely difficult to find your way out of. Once you come to the realization that hey, being depressed actually sucks and make the decision to stop being a victim and take back control of your life...you will begin to see the world very differently. Wonderful people will come into your life which will nourish your new mind state or vibrational frequency or wavelength or whatever the heck you want to call it. There are a lot of extremely amazing people in this world who actually love life, but they're difficult to find when you are depressed. Both because you're not looking for them, and also because you're going to attract what you put out there...so when you're depressed really happy people just honestly aren't going to see the world like you do and you may as well be living on separate planets. Also, make the conscious choice to only keep relationships which inspire you in some way or another, and get rid of any unhealthy ones. This will greatly assist you in overcoming that depressive black hole.

Keep harnessing the intention to get better, that glimmer of hopeful optimism is what separates those who find a way out from those who think there's no way out.

There's definitely inspired people out there, perhaps not enough but they are out there. Refer to Aquanina's great post, sums it up entirely. I think the trick is not to concern yourself with those who are consumed with cynicism and apathy. If you find there's somebody that you can relate to and inspire then by all means go for it. But some people just seem completely lost.

When I was having paranoid thoughts, unable to sleep, I prayed and it went away.

Are you religious?

Confiding in religion helps relieve depression and similar things.

(Nonreligious people: No arguments. No. Stop right there. You can think it's placebo all you want, but the point is that it helps, somehow.)

Originally Posted by WakataDreamer

When I was having paranoid thoughts, unable to sleep, I prayed and it went away.

Are you religious?

Confiding in religion helps relieve depression and similar things.

(Nonreligious people: No arguments. No. Stop right there. You can think it's placebo all you want, but the point is that it helps, somehow.)

No, I'm not religious, but I'm not going to argue with you there. Studies have shown that people who are spiritual/religious are generally happier than those who aren't, and I can see why: it's comforting to believe that you're being taken care of, even though it looks like you're on your own in this world. It's comforting to believe that everything that's going on is supposed to happen and for the best ("Oh, despite the fact that we prayed so hard and her being so young, she died because it was her time and God wanted her right now.")

It's comforting and encouraging to believe that when you die, you go to a happy, special place in the clouds much better than here on Earth, instead of just losing consciousness (electricity in your brain) and becoming compost.

From a secular standpoint, the part that's helping is positive thinking. Religion also offers a parental-like security blanket, God being a parent figure that never divorces, dies, loses touch or kicks you out of the house.

However, I can't just start believing those kinds of thoughts when I've been through enough to reason differently (religious, cult-like family experiences, and of course a human history of holy wars etc).

I do like the teachings and beliefs of zen buddhism, though. That's basically a lot of letting go, positive thinking and deep relaxation/meditation.


If anyone cares, let me tell you about my personal experience last night:

I was in Barnes & Noble with my mom and her boyfriend, and I was looking at a book called "The World Without Us" by Alan Weisman. My sister already has a copy of it, so I wasn't thinking about buying it, but I read the back of it out of curiosity. I read one excerpt of a review on the back that said this:

"Fascinating, mordant, deeply intelligent, and beautifully written, The World Without Us depicts the spectacle of humanity's impact on the planet Earth in tragically poignant terms that go far beyond the dry dictates of science. This is a very important book for a species playing games with its own destiny."

Reading this immediately made me depressed and angry. I thought, 'sure, I want to read a book that doesn't just tell scientifically how horrible my future is going to fall apart while I can't do anything about it, but it's also going to inject enough tragic emotion with my fears to make me, once again, want to put a gun in my mouth right now and pull the trigger, before it all goes to shit'.

Anger was the first and most dominant emotion that welled up in me, followed by fear. The anger always becomes so intense that it develops into physical violence (such as smashing my wrists on each other to hurt myself). The common and ever-present thought underlying this anger sounds incredibly selfish, but I'm basically angry at the entire world for doing this to me. Why did this world let me be born in this time and place, fill me up with so much hope, epic excitement, feelings of being special and meant to do something great in this lifetime during my childhood and teen years, and now it's punishing me for no reason with fears of inevitable catastrophe and human guilt? More than a year ago, after my dad made me watch a couple movies about the oil crisis and how we'll all go to shit after the oil is gone, these same thoughts made me so explicitly angry that I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to destroy everything in sight and scream at the top of my lungs, for at least an hour until I repressed it and was overcome with trembling, miserable anxiety for days.

Now, I DON'T want to hear any more arguments about the subject of the environment from any of you. I'm sick of reading or hearing contrarian arguments that muddle up and confuse the truth with ad hominem conservative rhetoric that are not plain and scientifically sound, like this book and everyone who's reviewed it. I want REAL WISDOM on how I can get through this and be as happy as I have any right to be while I'm alive.

After wallowing and soaking in these emotions, I walked over and looked at other books, and found a short, visual biography of Audrey Hepburn. I distracted myself by reading bits and excerpts about her life in story form, and then it came to a part I read about her in her latest years of old age, taking a trip to Ethiopia (as I seem to recall) and becoming stunned into passionate despair by the unimaginable amount of human suffering endured by the people there. She kept constantly trying to get the UN to do more for those poorer countries, but they always did far, far less than what should have been done. She basically became very depressed, developed physical illnesses and eventually died.

After reading that, I sympathized with her and then thought to myself, how could any of us do any better than her? If there's so much suffering in the rest of the world, why do we deserve to feel any happiness? Isn't that blissfully ignorant, irresponsible and lazy, directly contrary to the truth that's out there? If we know that the world's in such a terrible state right now and could very well only get worse from here on out, why ignore that fact and be happy? I keep flip-flopping like I have blinders around my eyes, at one moment bemoaning the truth of the world and the future I'm about to embark on, and then the next wondering why I'm depressed and how I'm ever going to get out of this funk.

For the record, I'm doing much, MUCH better in my continual emotional state that I was doing a couple years ago, to say the least. I feel almost normal at this point, but I'm still skipping over terrifying underlying fears that are still there and being some degree of numb in the process while I distract myself with temporary pleasure and cloying positive thought.

When the three of us stopped picking up books and got some snacks at the cafe area, I had to tell my mom some of what I was feeling at the moment (along with physical exhaustion in my feet, eyes and brain), and she told her boyfriend to tell me his view on the purpose of life, just to shed a bit of perspective on different viewpoints. He told me, plainly, that there is none.

As a fellow atheist, he keeps running into religious people that, when told that he doesn't believe in God, ask, "Well if there is no God, then what's the purpose of life?", and wrapped in that question is a declaration of an assumption that supposedly there HAS to be a purpose in life. There doesn't. By that token, the next assumption is, "How can you be happy in life without a purpose?" That is also wrong.

The logic seems sound to some extent, but I still don't really buy it. Deep down, I can't accept that my life is just an accident in a vacuum with no purpose, but when you think about it, if you're an atheist, that's exactly what it is. Your parents could have never met, and you never would have been born, but since you are here, all you have to do is nothing, just enjoy the ride. All the other creatures on this earth have merely one objective: to survive, and continue the species. But I'm not doing so well with just that objective.

Originally Posted by WakataDreamer

(Nonreligious people: No arguments. No. Stop right there. You can think it's placebo all you want, but the point is that it helps, somehow.)

*Bites tongue. Hard.*

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

No, I'm not religious, but I'm not going to argue with you there. Studies have shown that people who are spiritual/religious are generally happier than those who aren't, and I can see why: it's comforting to believe that you're being taken care of, even though it looks like you're on your own in this world. It's comforting to believe that everything that's going on is supposed to happen and for the best ("Oh, despite the fact that we prayed so hard and her being so young, she died because it was her time and God wanted her right now.")

It's comforting and encouraging to believe that when you die, you go to a happy, special place in the clouds much better than here on Earth, instead of just losing consciousness (electricity in your brain) and becoming compost.

you people need to stop confusing religion and spirituality, they are fundamentally different!!

while religions might teach that life can suck ass but it doesn't matter because there is a heaven in the sky, spirituality DOES NOT teach this, or even promote the idea the it's okay if life sucks because there is some sort of 'reward' for you

spirituality, across the board, is virtually unanimous in that heaven is a 'state of being'. in other words, heaven isn't a 'reward' or a magical place you go to when you die...it's not even a place! unless you mean everywhere, then yes, everywhere and anywhere can be heaven.

spirituality (in general) teaches achieving the state of heaven IN LIFE. . . . or else. . . and the else part is. . if you don't achieve happiness or peace in life, there is a good chance neither will you in death

spirituality paints a sobering picture, that tells us we NEED to achieve happiness and peace in our lives, right NOW. Not tomorrow. Not later. NOW!

now there is a real reason why religious and spiritual folk are generally better off than those who are strictly material - because both believe in the greater picture. and if you focus on this greater picture, it'll help bring you back to what's really important in life.

if you are strictly material, then there is no greater meaning to life, there is no greater picture. and what this creates is an attitude that life is virtually meaningless, so who gives a fuck what we do? the materialistic world view gave us cynicism and apathy! where playing video games is just as equally important, or equally meaningless, to loving a living human.

fortunately for the materialists, science is actually proving your dogma wrong. this is good news! science is proving that everything is connected to everything else. the hippies were right! yay for the new era of holism!

Originally Posted by juroara

now there is a real reason why religious and spiritual folk are generally better off than those who are strictly material - because both believe in the greater picture. and if you focus on this greater picture, it'll help bring you back to what's really important in life.

if you are strictly material, then there is no greater meaning to life, there is no greater picture. and what this creates is an attitude that life is virtually meaningless, so who gives a fuck what we do? the materialistic world view gave us cynicism and apathy! where playing video games is just as equally important, or equally meaningless, to loving a living human.

fortunately for the materialists, science is actually proving your dogma wrong. this is good news! science is proving that everything is connected to everything else. the hippies were right! yay for the new era of holism!

Yes, I knew that. But thanks for making ridiculous assumptions about my beliefs and trying to insult me while making a true fool of yourself in the process.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Yes, I knew that. But thanks for making ridiculous assumptions about my beliefs and trying to insult me while making a true fool of yourself in the process.

This.

Dude, chill. I'm an atheist, and I'm also apparently a "materialist." And no, I'm not apathetic nor depressed. I don't believe in a higher power or any sort of spiritualism, but I don't view life as meaningless. In fact, it should be exactly the opposite; enjoy every moment you have. Life is too short; go out and enjoy yourself.

Originally Posted by juroara

if you are strictly material, then there is no greater meaning to life, there is no greater picture. and what this creates is an attitude that life is virtually meaningless, so who gives a fuck what we do? the materialistic world view gave us cynicism and apathy! where playing video games is just as equally important, or equally meaningless, to loving a living human.

Don't wanna hijack the thread with this shit but REALLY?

Actually, I agree with Juroara on that. It's a statement of fact, really an observation, and I think it's a correct one. When you're religious you always have the option of turning towards something greater than yourself, and you can comfort yourself by thinking that "God forgives everything and I'm going to heaven" or the Buddhist/Hinduism "everyone get's what they deserve" (karma) or any such notion. Also, the "greater picture" means you can blame someone else for what's wrong - and we all know how nice that is. It's a fact that many people seek out religion in their deepest despair.

Before you go to an all-out frontal attack on me: I'm an atheist.

Deery, could you cite where you're getting your information that theists are more happy than atheists? I'd like to review the information myself.

I'm not depressed. I may not be super happy, but I'm not depressed. Currently, I am taking steps to improve my life. I can see nothing but a bright future ahead.

I have depressive/anxious episodes provoked by insecurities. But in-between, I generally thrive.

Originally Posted by Mario92

*Bites tongue. Hard.*

Thank you, I appreciate it ^^

Threads are much better when they don't devolve into religious/other religious/pantheistic/univerSalistic/atheist/etc flamewars

We're all human, and we're all on a discussion board, that's all that matters

Originally Posted by Black_Eagle

Deery, could you cite where you're getting your information that theists are more happy than atheists? I'd like to review the information myself.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO