Thread: How do I do horoscopes?

I'm sorry to say horriscopes are absolute bullshit. I believe the planets effect us.. I mean the moon effects the tides and we are about 70% water...

But i do not believe that we know how to interperate them. How many times have you read a horiscope and its had nothing to do with you? Admitadly... Star and rising sign personality readings do seem to be alot more acurate, but even then i have never found a reading to be totally me..

I could right now make something up about a certain sign and (especially if a positive thing) most people would be like.. yeah that is so me wow!

But as to how to do it.. there is alot of math and drawing lines envolved. Search on the net, you might find a good way to do it.. they might even tell you on astrology.com but dont hold me to that.

i believe a combination of eenie meenie minie moe, rolling dice, and previous lotto numbers are used. oh, i think a dartboard comes into play at some point as well...you know...to make it more 'scientific.'



i know you were being serious, but i\'m sorry, i just had to.

Just remember that on a scale of one to five stars, one being a terrible day and five being a fabulous one, no one in the world of horoscopes can have less than a three star day. No one wants to read that cosmic forces have predetermined a day of their lives to be filled with puddles sloshed up from curb by passing cars, spilled coffee, and bird doo doo. And besides, everybody really is happy all the time. The stars will it so! Happy, happy; joy, joy! (Okay, since I don't think that horoscopes have any merit, I'll butt out now and leave this question to someone who might actually believe.)

But really, I'm completely serious about the three star thing. Check it out yourself in supermarket tabloids. You'll never see less than a three star day predicted. Well, not in a well-selling tabloid, anyway...

A woman once collected her horoscope from a newspaper every day. Eventually they began to repeat themselves word for word. Oops!

Yeah, I heard about that, some media sources don't make it easy for themselves.

Originally posted by Gezus
I am interested in doing horoscopes... only one problem: I dunno how. Can anyone tell me?

Actually there is a precise way of going about it.... and it isn't all based on myth and chance like others seem to believe.

Many people, when they refer to horoscopes... are talking about your daily three sentences in a newspaper or website... under your primary sign, Leo, Taurus.. what have you. These are, of course, going to be very general and vague common statements that could apply to everyone in some way. First of all, a lot more goes into your horoscope than the face value of your sun sign, and these things have great influence over a persons behavior.... thus, a person with a sun sign of leo, but a moon in gemini, may act very differently than your typical leo. Second of all, the person hired to generate these little fortune cookies for horoscopes is probably not the most qualified astrologer you can come across...

To determine your chart, an astrologer needs your location and time of birth. From there, the sky, exactly as it was at that time and year, is mapped out. This is not something you chose to believe in or not, it is science... what they then do to interpret the chart is the part that has people questioning...

The sky is divided up into houses, 12 in total. Each house represents a different aspect of life and the planet that resides within the particular house, sort of governs the way that apsect with play in the individuals life. While it may be doubted, dividing the sky into these 12 categories is something that goes back to Babylonian times

Probably the most important part of the chart, besides the sun sign.. is the position of the moon. Some say the sun sign is your most apparent characteristics, on the surface.. the moon sign is the things usually only you see... the sun is our vital force, the moon our unconscious one... a book I have compares the sun to Freuds ego, and the moon to his id....

You can buy many books that will offer charts, with which you can develop yourself a fairly elementary version of an individualized horoscope. Astrologers, however, study for a really long time to do in depth specific charts that are more accurate. So if you really are interested in doing charts, it takes some time and energy.


Things like this have received more interest as of late as spirituality seems to make its way into the mainstream... things that have been around for centuries are on bookshelves in the new age section, and it gives a confusing message. While there are a lot of critics, the planets and the sky have been studied and used to predict events for many many many years.....

"The path of the stars was recorded 6,000 years before Christ was born. As early as 2767 B.C., a horoscope was cast in Egypt by Imhotep, the architect of the great step pyramis in Saqqarah. Ancient astrologers charted movements of planets and stars, and made predictions about eclipses, upheavals, famine, and fortune. They developed calendars for marking and measuring the passage of time." ~Joanna Martine Woolfolk

Obviously we know that the sky and its components have been a topic of interest for a very long time, but a lot of people question how these forces have any impact on our lives...... Consider how many cultures worship a sun god.....Astrology was a large part of Hindu, Egyptian, Inca, Chinese, Babylonian, Greek, and Roman cultures.....

Done by a professional, astology can be a very helpful tool....

I don't believe in horoscopes. How can the moon, stars, and planets affect each individual person's fate? What do they care about it? Not to mention the fact that the planets and stars are lightyears away, thereby causing us to see what's going on with them days, months, years, centuries, millenia after it happens. (Anyone who's read "The Redemption of Althalus" knows what I'm talking about ) That's my take on it. Not to mention I believe that everything that exists, so the creator should be given more credit than the creation.

-Amé

Originally posted by Amethyst Star
How can the moon, stars, and planets affect each individual person's fate? What do they care about it? Not to mention the fact that the planets and stars are lightyears away, thereby causing us to see what's going on with them days, months, years, centuries, millenia after it happens.

I don't believe in horoscopes either, but your argument actually does not support your position at all.

Believers say that celestial bodies could affect developing fetuses in predictable ways presumably by the small but existant gravitational forces that they exert on them. You argue that these bodies are lightyears away...and hence are actually in different positions than we see them because it takes year for the light from them to reach our eyes.

However, the "signals" of gravity also travel at the speed of light (for example, it takes light about 8 minutes to reach Earth, it also takes gravity about 8 minutes to "reach" Earth. So if the Sun exploded right now, we wouldn't see it, or feel the gravitational effect of it for about 8 minutes).

Therefore, the observed formation of the stars at any point in time is consistent with the gravitational effect that we feel from those stars at that point in time.

I know this is a little off topic, but it will never cease to amuse me the way there is a sort of divide down the forum. Regular members who never parcipate in philosphical/extended type stuff, and then regular members who do. When the former posts, the latter sort of jumps all over them. Not an patronizing kind of amusement, (I wanted to use that word), but just a general sort of...nevermind.

Anahata left out the bit where you study at some mystical college first, basically learning how to throw darts

I LOVE horoscopes. When you point them at light and look in the little eye-piece, it makes all these cool colours and patterns.

I want one for my next birthday.

i like astrology especially when stars go pffrrrrtt!

ps. its kaleidoscope you silly twit

*pictures Ophelia trying to tell the future using one of them*