You are the Worst Man in Histoy

**CanceledCzech** · 10-21-2009 05:28 PM

"Modern man a wimp says anthropologist"
By John Mehaffey

LONDON (Reuters) - Many prehistoric Australian aboriginals could have outrun world 100 and 200 meters record holder Usain Bolt in modern conditions.

Some Tutsi men in Rwanda exceeded the current world high jump record of 2.45 meters during initiation ceremonies in which they had to jump at least their own height to progress to manhood.

Any Neanderthal woman could have beaten former bodybuilder and current California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in an arm wrestle.

These and other eye-catching claims are detailed in a book by Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister entitled "Manthropology" and provocatively sub-titled "The Science of the Inadequate Modern Male."

McAllister sets out his stall in the opening sentence of the prologue.

"If you're reading this then you -- or the male you have bought it for -- are the worst man in history.

"No ifs, no buts -- the worst man, period...As a class we are in fact the sorriest cohort of masculine Homo sapiens to ever walk the planet."

Delving into a wide range of source material McAllister finds evidence he believes proves that modern man is inferior to his predecessors in, among other fields, the basic Olympic athletics disciplines of running and jumping.

His conclusions about the speed of Australian aboriginals 20,000 years ago are based on a set of footprints, preserved in a fossilized claypan lake bed, of six men chasing prey.

FLEET-FOOTED ABORIGINALS

An analysis of the footsteps of one of the men, dubbed T8, shows he reached speeds of 37 kph on a soft, muddy lake edge. Bolt, by comparison, reached a top speed of 42 kph during his then world 100 meters record of 9.69 seconds at last year's Beijing Olympics.

In an interview in the English university town of Cambridge where he was temporarily resident, McAllister said that, with modern training, spiked shoes and rubberized tracks, aboriginal hunters might have reached speeds of 45 kph.

"We can assume they are running close to their maximum if they are chasing an animal," he said.

"But if they can do that speed of 37 kph on very soft ground I suspect there is a strong chance they would have outdone Usain Bolt if they had all the advantages that he does.

"We can tell that T8 is accelerating toward the end of his tracks."

McAllister said it was probable that any number of T8's contemporaries could have run as fast.

"We have to remember too how incredibly rare these fossilizations are," he said. "What are the odds that you would get the fastest runner in Australia at that particular time in that particular place in such a way that was going to be preserved?"

Turning to the high jump, McAllister said photographs taken by a German anthropologist showed young men jumping heights of up to 2.52 meters in the early years of last century.

STARK DECLINE

"It was an initiation ritual, everybody had to do it. They had to be able to jump their own height to progress to manhood," he said.

"It was something they did all the time and they lived very active lives from a very early age. They developed very phenomenal abilities in jumping. They were jumping from boyhood onwards to prove themselves."

McAllister said a Neanderthal woman had 10 percent more muscle bulk than modern European man. Trained to capacity she would have reached 90 percent of Schwarzenegger's bulk at his peak in the 1970s.

"But because of the quirk of her physiology, with a much shorter lower arm, she would slam him to the table without a problem," he said.

Manthropology abounds with other examples:

* Roman legions completed more than one-and-a-half marathons a day carrying more than half their body weight in equipment.

* Athens employed 30,000 rowers who could all exceed the achievements of modern oarsmen.

* Australian aboriginals threw a hardwood spear 110 meters or more (the current world javelin record is 98.48).

McAllister said it was difficult to equate the ancient spear with the modern javelin but added: "Given other evidence of Aboriginal man's superb athleticism you'd have to wonder whether they couldn't have taken out every modern javelin event they entered."

Why the decline?

"We are so inactive these days and have been since the industrial revolution really kicked into gear," McAllister replied. "These people were much more robust than we were.

"We don't see that because we convert to what things were like about 30 years ago. There's been such a stark improvement in times, technique has improved out of sight, times and heights have all improved vastly since then but if you go back further it's a different story.

"At the start of the industrial revolution there are statistics about how much harder people worked then.

"The human body is very plastic and it responds to stress. We have lost 40 percent of the shafts of our long bones because we have much less of a muscular load placed upon them these days.

"We are simply not exposed to the same loads or challenges that people were in the ancient past and even in the recent past so our bodies haven't developed. Even the level of training that we do, our elite athletes, doesn't come close to replicating that.

"We wouldn't want to go back to the brutality of those days but there are some things we would do well to profit from."

From this source: http://www.reuters.com/article/newsO...=11604&sp=true

So, there you have it. You are the worst man in history. Any comments?

**grasshoppa** · 10-21-2009 05:46 PM

Wow, I still wonder if it's true...That's just amazing if it is.

**Universal Mind** · 10-21-2009 05:48 PM

I don't know about all of that. It sounds pretty far fetched. If it's true, then by that person's argument, chimpanzees are superior to us. So are dogs.

**Xei** · 10-21-2009 06:51 PM

Did I read in there that the entire book is based on a single set of footprints found in some clay..?

So... looking at, say, the preserved skeletons etc. of these people wouldn't have helped?

**Invader** · 10-21-2009 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by Xei

Did I read in there that the entire book is based on a single set of footprints found in some clay..?

So... looking at, say, the preserved skeletons etc. of these people wouldn't have helped?

Originally Posted by CanceledCzech

"But because of the quirk of her physiology, with a much shorter lower arm, she would slam him to the table without a problem," he said.

So, it's based on more than just footprints.

If all of that is in fact true, I'd be impressed, to say the least.

**tkdyo** · 10-21-2009 07:34 PM

I wouldnt be...because, quite simply, we have evolved to facilitate brain power rather than physical fitness. obviously, it has worked out pretty well for us

**Black_Eagle** · 10-21-2009 07:46 PM

Fuck ancient peoples. We can beat them in Starcraft any day.

**Mes Tarrant** · 10-21-2009 08:32 PM

Oi. I'd hoped we were past measuring the value of a man (or human in general for that matter) based on physical strength.

**Invader** · 10-21-2009 08:40 PM

Is willpower or discipline no longer important when measuring the "worth" of a
human being? We're talking about extraordinary physical ability in the modern
man, here.

**Taosaur** · 10-21-2009 08:46 PM

I could find the best pizza joint within 2000 meters much faster than aboriginal man. I could choose a better wine from any given selection than a neanderthal woman. I could write a better novel than either of them. I'm pretty confident I would prefer my dinner to theirs.

I guess I'll really feel like a jerk next time I need to outrun a leopard or leap up a sheer cliff face, but until that day comes, I think I win.

**Alric** · 10-21-2009 11:10 PM

If a modern man went back in time with a gun and the tools to upkeep his gun and make bullets, he would be worshiped as a god.

**Licity** · 10-21-2009 11:19 PM

Fine, man's ancient ancestors are physically superior to us in every way. A typical Neanderthal can beat me in speed, jumping ability, physical strength, stamina, and overall bodily condition.

But I think I still win with aeronautics and chemistry.

**grasshoppa** · 10-21-2009 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by Taosaur

I could find the best pizza joint within 2000 meters much faster than aboriginal man. I could choose a better wine from any given selection than a neanderthal woman. I could write a better novel than either of them. I'm pretty confident I would prefer my dinner to theirs.

I guess I'll really feel like a jerk next time I need to outrun a leopard or leap up a sheer cliff face, but until that day comes, I think I win.

Someones jealous! You're all jealous! Take your mind and shove it, the ancient man wins!

**Invader** · 10-22-2009 12:14 AM

Originally Posted by Licity

But I think I still win with aeronautics and chemistry.

Neanderthal smash chemistry set.

What do you do?

**Techno** · 10-22-2009 12:28 AM

Modern man work job to get money to buy gun to fill with balls of metal that he shoots through Neanderthal's skull at plus 340 miles per second.

**Alric** · 10-22-2009 12:31 AM

That got me thinking about something. Lets say you strip modern man of all the technological advantages, do you think a person trained in hand to hand combat and modern fighting techniques could beat up a Neanderthal?

**Unelias** · 10-22-2009 12:38 AM

Originally Posted by Alric

That got me thinking about something. Lets say you strip modern man of all the technological advantages, do you think a person trained in hand to hand combat and modern fighting techniques could beat up a Neanderthal?

Why not? All martial artist know that brute strength isn't even nearly enough to beat someone who has also skill.

Just poke his eye and crush his testicles.

**Invader** · 10-22-2009 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by Unelias

Why not? All martial artist know that brute strength isn't even nearly enough to beat someone who has also skill.

I would like to see a martial artist fight a wild grizzly bear.

Or a gorilla, for that matter.

**Unelias** · 10-22-2009 01:32 AM

Well taking into consideration that human do not possess claws or sharp teeth so fighting against a wild animal is a different thing. This is why we invented weapons.

Prehistorical human, however, was not a wild animal, even if he mentally acted like one.

I see no reason why well trained fighter couldn't beat a prehistorical human to death. Yet I don't doubt that the neanderthal could do that too.

**Alric** · 10-22-2009 01:43 AM

Yea, I think a modern fighter would win too. Though I am kind of curious how they would fight. I am sure that they did fight each other at times, though did they know anything about the weak spots on a human? Even a neanderthal may have been able to figure out, how to kick someone in the balls.

A human can take on most animals in the wild though. Most animals are pretty cowardly in most circumstances, and if you stab them in the eye or something they are going to stop attacking. Though even using a stick or a rock improves your odds a lot.

**Unelias** · 10-22-2009 01:56 AM

Yeh well I'd say modern human has a way better chance of winning because nowadays the technical progress in skills is so awesome. Chances are that the cavemen tried to get close in order to brawl so strangling him at the ground would be the best option. If you have ever faced a real good grappler on the mat you know what I mean. An inexperienced fighter has no idea what even happened. Also, the massive power difference can be quite easily nullified by taking proper positions, since the caveman has very unlikely much knowledge of wrestling. You could nail him on the standing fight too, just maim his legs with low kicks and utilize the legwork, which of course you have trained and he hasn't. Then you could always jab fingers to the eye, fist to the jaw or break his neck. Whatever.

About animals, I have been attacked by a wolf and almost once by a lynx. In the wolf case I had my knife with me and with the lynx it luckily run away. I was quite lucky I wasn't jumped on by a lynx, since that is pretty much the worst situation ever with them. I wouldn't want to brawl them empty handed though, that is why I always carry knife when in the wilderness or Lappland.

**Indecent Exposure** · 10-22-2009 02:07 AM

It's all pretty irrelevant, I don't doubt that they were stronger and quicker in general, although I question the Usain Bolt business, but what does it matter? We use advanced tools, teamwork etc. That's why we are modern man and the'yre not, we're better. Extremely poor conclusion from the anthropologist.

**Adam** · 10-22-2009 05:22 AM

Originally Posted by Taosaur

I could find the best pizza joint within 2000 meters much faster than aboriginal man. I could choose a better wine from any given selection than a neanderthal woman. I could write a better novel than either of them. I'm pretty confident I would prefer my dinner to theirs.

I guess I'll really feel like a jerk next time I need to outrun a leopard or leap up a sheer cliff face, but until that day comes, I think I win.

Agreed, kind of!

Modern man is so much more. So they're strong and can run and jump high - whooopty doooo! I cannot remember the last time I needed to jump higher than my actual height, or run at 45kph. I have the skills, strength and brain power to do exactly what I need to do in this lifetime - not in theirs.

Originally Posted by Daniel Danciu

Modern man work job to get money to buy gun to fill with balls of metal that he shoots through Neanderthal's skull at plus 340 miles per second.

Where the fuck did you get your gun from? No gun on earth can fire at 340 miles per second LOL.

**Black_Eagle** · 10-22-2009 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by Adam

Agreed, kind of!

Modern man is so much more. So they're strong and can run and jump high - whooopty doooo! I cannot remember the last time I needed to jump higher than my actual height, or run at 45kph. I have the skills, strength and brain power to do exactly what I need to do in this lifetime - not in theirs.

Actually, you could use your modern intelligence to solve primitive problems. Thus, you could rise to the status of a god.

**Adam** · 10-22-2009 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by Black_Eagle

Actually, you could use your modern intelligence to solve primitive problems. Thus, you could rise to the status of a god.

That sounds like a great plan, except I destroyed my time machine after my last disaster...

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