Thread: Post Your Path !

Born and baptized catholic.

At 7, I explained to my parents (in excruciating detail) why it was stupid in concept and in practiice. Then refused to attend again.

I believe that religion is the biggest con-game ever fostered.

Most [all] christians I know are weak willed, weak minded, general weaklings.

Anything that happens in their lives is attributed to "god's will" which lets them escape any form of personal responsibility.

Something happened to me too, Kim, around the time I was 7, where I thought this was all bullshit. Especially towards the schooling bit. That was my first memory of not doing homework. But by then I was already in second grade and there seemed no way out.

Born sixth child and only boy of a Catholic family, baptized, attended Catholic Sunday school before going to Catholic school from first through eighth grade.

While in Catholic school I had Catholic friends, who also had Catholic families, and Catholic teachers, who also had Catholic families. Aside from going to Catholic church every Sunday with my family, I also went to Catholic church every Catholic Tuesday with my class. Afterwords we talked in class about what was said in church. We were assigned Catholic homework for our Catholic religion class, which we had three Catholic times a week. And, of course, in that class we studied for Catholic tests and quizzes. We were required to memorize Catholic prayers and passages from the Bible. We each had our own Bibles to carry aorund with us. Every day of school started off with a prayer and ended with a prayer. Our teachers would mix it up so we could memorize new ones. Oh yeah, we prayed before going to lunch. All prayers were done as a group. Throughout school we all went through the Catholic sacraments of reconciliation and communion as a group. Once every couple Catholic months we were required to confess our Catholic sins to a priest and then do penance in the form of prayers.

I had Catholic extracurricular activities. I played on a Catholic basketball team against Catholic basketball teams from other Catholic schools. I was a Catholic altar server, which I thought would be interesting, being that close to the altar where supposedly wine turned to blood and all that. Obviously it was nothing special. But I was part of the tradition of making it look special. Long tradition of altar serving in my family. In my room hung a painting by my grandfather of altar serving. Oh yeah, and I would get to cut out of class to serve mass sometimes - THAT was the appeal of it. But, for a long while, until we had a new priest who shook up the schedules, there were many weeks when I went to mass every day of the week.

I was a Catholic cub scout in a Catholic cub scout troop, where I also had Catholic friends. Later I was a Catholic boy scout in a Catholic boy scout troop, with some more Catholic friends. We even went on Catholic campouts with other Christian troops. I once asked a guy from another troop that, if he wasn't Catholic and still Christian, what religion was he? "Lutheran," he said. I had no idea what that meant. And I never did until I studied at a Catholic university...

I went to a public high school and had high expectations for non-Catholic civilization. Finally some freedom I thought. While Catholic school was oppressive spiritually, it was at least somewhat stimulating intellectually. Public school was oppressive both spiritually and intellectually. It was like everyone, including teachers, were either animals or dead. Everyone was either emotionally immature or just plain stupid.

The Fall of my freshman year I found a job as a janitor at the Catholic school I just left - but I still went to that Catholic church every Sunday! It was a good job because I could set my own hours. I could come in at 1:00AM if I wanted to. And I did, because I played sports. And I knew everybody I worked for and everybody I worked with. I had the keys to all the doors. That ring of keys was heavy! It was pretty nice. So I even had a Catholic job for a while.

All the while I was still in Catholic boy scouts and doing Catholic service projects, being a Catholic leader and telling other Catholic boy scounts to shut up and do their Catholic service projects in order to make the Catholic adult leaders happy - so they would stop bothering me. Dammit, I was elected boy leader of whole damn troop for the very reason that I didn't want it.

Oh yeah, and I was in a Catholic CCD program, with retreats and everything, in order to go through the sacrament of confirmation. Which is a total joke. Damn near no one goes through confirmation and really means it. I wanted to drop out but, as with everything I wanted to drop out of, I faced retribution from both my parents. Boy was it bad when I actually did drop out of some things that weren't even Catholic or school related. I quit a job at a liquor store and my dad was furious. Fumingly mad.

Here's something that's unusual:

My parents met at and graduated from a place called Marquette University - a Catholic university, of course. You might have heard of it. Our basketball team qualified for the Final Four a couple years ago but didn't show up...? That's not unusual yet, but here it is: All five of my older sisters went to Marquette University as well. Yes, I said all five. And, get this, all five have gone back to Marquette Univertsity again to do post graduate work! One from the law school, two from the dental school, one to get a masters in Accounting, and one to get a second major in English and her teaching certification (okay that one's not technically post grad, but effectively).

Everyone said, "you don't have to go to Marquette just because everyone else did." Well, mostly everyone said that. My father discouraged me from going anywhere but a Catholic university. And he was the one with the money. There were even members of my extended family who went to Marquette, my great uncle for instance. But I knew that I could go anywhere I wanted. Trouble is - everywhere seemed to suck. Schooling would be school anywhere I went. It would all be dumbing. Perhaps at Marquette there would at least be decent people. There really wasn't. Perhaps in a "liberal education" there would be a more open atmostphere to discuss the big issues? The really important ones? No, not that either. It appears they save that for doctorates.

So here I am ready to graduate in a month from Marquette. Being very ready to, in a matter of weeks, be turned off from religion forever.

One thing I think is important. If I was strong enough to handle all this bullshit, from so many different institutions and people, including those close to me, I can pretty much handle anything.

Hey, as for me. I grew up not knowing anything but school, food, toys, and only had a vague idea about Shintoism. These beliefs weren't absent, but not truly there from my parents, but I had no feelings or inquiries at the time. My parents taught me to be a good person and had a loving upbringing overall. It wasn't a until in my early teens when I actually decided to take this seriously and find answers to my questions. I studied more about Shintoism, but didn't explain to me how the world came to be. I mean no offense to anyone either (love). Nature is absolutely brilliant, but I could not see how that could relate outside of this Earth. So I studied some more beliefs, which really was asking questions to friends who had them and learned a great deal, but nothing substantial. I had atheist friends and some of them had a total different point of view. Some were too pessimistic and others were just as unsure as I was, but positive that no answer could be found in God. My Christian friends had some answers and their portrayal of a loving God did attract me, but raise more questions. I did notice that their attitude was much more focused so I started reading the Bible. With more studying and several encyclopedias and theological dictionaries I found that Suffering is present, but is only temporarily, that there is no Hell for bad people to go to. I am still studying and have found those questions to be decreasing because answers have been found. With more time and discussion we will have found it the highest level. I haven't studied all religions deeply, but remain sure that the Christian faith has proven to be accurate. Either way I respect ALL PEOPLE who have and don't have spiritual beliefs. That is the prime goal for me.

RESPECT, PEACE and LOVE

Genj, you're such a silly, peaceable lil' hottie.

I was baptized Catholic as well; my Mom tried to raise me as such, although I never even believed in the J-man from the start. We kept going to church until she stopped taking me, because she'd heard a rumor about one of our priests. After that, I sort of just hung there in some spiritual purgatory, doing some major soul-searching. That's when I started meditating deeply, and frequently, and THAT'S when I finally started having my infamous visions, Apocalypse and all. Needless to say, the rest is history.

(Sorry this is so long. It ended up being like a self therapy session for me, and I wanted to get it all out. I won't be offended if you don't read the whole thing. The last few paragraphs get to the point.)

I went the first three years of my life with no concept of God at all, but I saw churches all the time because they are on every corner here in the Bible Belt, and I sometimes went to three year old Sunday school, which really amounts to nothing more than a daycare for church going parents (grandparents in my case... My parents were still hippies who slept past noon every Sunday.). When I was three, a movie about religion related stuff was on television, and my mother explained God to me for the first time, that I remember. I went to church with my grandparents a few times around that time, and all I could pick up on was that the preacher was yelling at me as if I had done something bad, but I had no idea what it was or what in the world he was talking about. In fact, I didn't understand that God was the main idea of it. I just heard the preacher yell the name a few times.

When I was four, I went to Bible school for the first time. My grandparents were as religious as it gets, and as soon as they thought I was old enough to be brainwashed, I mean taught, they started trying to recruit me. I thought the concepts I learned about there were extremely interesting, but I was already trying to make sense of the whole thing, and couldn't really do it. My understanding was that God is Jesus' father and that Mary is Jesus' mother. I asked my mother what Jesus' last name is, and she said, "Christ" (which is actually just a title). I thought she said, "Price". So my conclusion was that Jesus' parents are God and Mary Price. The big question I had was, "How do we know that this stuff is true?" Because the Bible School teachers, later Sunday school teachers, and preachers taught with what I now consider to be intimidation and not positive forms of conveying thorough understanding, I was too scared to ask anybody "How do you know?" except my parents, whose response was always, "Nobody knows."

When I was in the first grade, my mother had departed from her hippy phase and was turning into a regular Sunday school attender. She had me going to a Presbyterian church every Sunday, but not against my will. I was never forced into it by my parents. My father was still sleeping past noon every Sunday. It was in that first grade Sunday school class that the most extreme portion of my brainwashing happened, and it has me bitter to this day. I don't fault the teacher, really. I don't think she had a mean bone in her body. I think she was an absolute imbecile who truly believed she was saving me from eternal torture. She had us singing "Come into My Heart, Lord Jesus" at the beginning of every Sunday school class. That is the song I ended up singing in my head before going to sleep every night after saying the Lord's Prayer, which we said at every Sunday school class and had to memorize. She told us about "the devil" at practically every class and how he was out to get us. And the lady that filled in when the regular teacher could not make it was, of ALL people, my first grade teacher, the one I spent all day with every weekday. The person who was teaching me how to spell new words, how to read better, how to use punctuation, how to do math, and all the basic stuff I use to this day, was telling me that the damn devil was out to get me and that the only way to escape burning FOREVER is to kiss ass and kiss ass and kiss more ass of some bizarre thing that none of us could say we had ever seen or heard, even in pictures or on tape.

For the next two years, I went to Sunday school at the same Presbyterian Church, but not as regularly. I was pretty spooked out by the whole thing. The lady who taught me first grade AND my grandparents told me with the most convincing faces they could that this eternal torture stuff was true, so I took it extremely seriously. I had started neurotically praying throughout the day, terrified of slipping up somehow and making an invisible thing with infinite power, along with what I now say is every personality disorder in Cluster B of the DSM, mad because I forgot to make a big enough deal of him. That is some freaky shit to tell a six year old.

However, I still kept trying to get my parents to explain how people know that God exists, still too scared to ask anybody else. They kept telling me that nobody actually does know. I guess my mother was an agnostic at the time, although she went to Sunday school (We always skipped church for some reason. I didn't complain.). She is a full blown Christian now. When I was in the second grade, I asked my grandmother, the Presbyterian missionary who went to church three times a week, Sunday school twice a week, prayer breakfast once a week, and her own bed time prayers every single night, "How do you know God is real?" I might as well have said, "I am going to shoot you with this gun." The response I got from her was about as responsive as what I get from Awaken and Dreamtamer here. She looked totally stunned and said, "The Bible tells us so." So I asked what I thought was a completely logical follow up question-- "How do we know the Bible is right?" She turned around immediately, started walking out of the room, and shook her head very rapidly while saying, "God is real. God is real." When I walked into the kitchen, she looked at me and said, "How do you think we got here?" I said, "Maybe the big explosion in space." She replied with, "Explosion?" Interestingly, I was supposed to be going to Sunday school at her church that very morning. At the breakfast table, she put me down for asking those questions. She told me that I was not going to go to her Sunday school because she didn't want me thinking like that there. I was thoroughly confused. She ended up taking me to Sunday school after I agreed not to ask those questions any more. How educational.

Through the second half of elementary school and through junior high, I was a full blown Christian. I had been taught by many not to question God, and I was threatened with eternal torture over it. So I went years without asking the obvious questions, even to myself. I said those brainwashing prayers in my head every night and often during the day. After seeing The Exorcist and The Amittyville Horror, I was thoroughly scared out of my mind of pissing off God by questioning his existence. I was baptized as an Episcopalian when I was 12. The Christianity continued. But when I was 16, I experienced a mental revolution. I had talked to two agnostics that were close to me, my father and one of my best friends, and an atheist, another best friend. I argued with all of them about the existence of God, but they didn't change my mind. However, the re-examination of the question of God's existence that happened during those conversations got me to questioning God again, and that questioning started getting turned up louder and louder and louder in my head. I started thinking about the evasiveness I had gotten from every damn person I had questioned as a younger kid about God's existence. I thought about the fact that the biggest assholes I knew went to church every Sunday. I thought about the absolute hypocrisy of most Christians and the doubt they showed but tried to hide regarding their beliefs. I evolved into an agnostic over the course of a few weeks, but it took me a few more months before I was ready to admit it. I was coming out of a brainwashing.

During that same time period, still holding onto agnosticism and not yet being an atheist, I debated my father full force on the existence of God. I of course had my serious doubts, but still saw the possibility. My number one argument that I could not get around was how something as phenomenal as life on Earth could exist without an intelligent creator. I did not wholeheartedly believe it, but I didn't understand what the resolution to the issue was. My father knew of one, as it turned out. After about 30 minutes of very heated argument at the dinner table, my father asked me, "So this could not have happened by itself, but this ghost that created it all could?" I said, "Maybe he has always been," to which my father replied, "Maybe the universe has always been." Woes!!!!! What a heavy thought! It had never crossed my mind. What an excellent counter argument! So much of the brainwashing and confusion I had had for so long disappeared in a flash when he said that. Ever since that moment that happened more than half my life ago, I have seen Christianity as something that has no logic backing it. I didn't become an atheist at that moment, but I was about the width of a hair from it. I ended up dabbling in Eastern philosophy for a while, and after seeing just how mind expanding some meditation practices can be, and after doing LSD, and after reading physics books about the oneness of everything, I almost became a Hindu, but never quite made it. I did consider myself a Taoist for a while, but there is no God in philosophical Taoism, just the Tao.

My agnosticism held on by a hair until I was 21, the age that I became an atheist. My uncle, who was like my assistant father, was in the hospital with a rare disease that came out of nowhere a few months before then. He was shriveling up and dying in his hospital bed. Family members were coming in from Texas and Louisiana and crying in the hallways, yelling in frustration, baffled about what could possibly be done. It is the most intense frustration I have ever been in the midst of, and it is the saddest thing I have ever seen. After three months of a nightmare in the hospital, my uncle died. (A strong chill just went through my body as I typed that.) And what the fuck did I here at the funeral? A fucking priest up there talking about "God's plan" and "Jesus said this" and "God all over the place" and "Jesus Jesus Jesus". Then he said the most important sentence to put Christianity in perspective for me that I ever heard, one even harder hitting than, "Maybe the universe has always been." This guy actually was able to say with a totally serious face, "God was truly in that hospital room with [uncle]." Say what?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sitting in two rows worth of crying, devastated people who had no idea how to save him and who were frustrated out of their minds with the fact that we are in the dark ages of understanding the disease he had, but an infinitely powerful being who is omnibenevolent and who could rearrange the laws of reality in any bizarre way he wanted didn't make the horror go away when he could have done it without there being a problem with it? That does not even begin to be logical!!!! The thing is, all of those expressions that went through my head didn't happen at the moment the priest said his thing. I went through a period of mental blocking, thought channeling, and emotional numbness for two weeks. Then I started thinking back on my uncle's death, and the priest's comment of profound absurdity exploded in my head. I have been an atheist ever since.

On a side note, I did go through two periods of total atheism before that. I went through two severe depressions as a teenager, and they were caused by serotonin imbalance (caused by megavitamins the first time and LSD the second time) that was accompanied by undiagnosed hypoglycemia. Those two depressions got so severe that I was overwhelmed with an impulse to commit suicide, although I didn't want to do it. I actually had to fight really hard to stop myself from committing suicide. The thought that made the difference was the thought that there is nothing on the other side of death. Killing myself would end EVERYTHING. It is difficult to describe the powerful image I had in my head regarding "EVERYTHING", but I understood fully that there is no God and that once the brain is dead, its consciousness is dead, forever. That understanding kept me alive. After coming out of the depressions, I went right back to, "What if God exists?" But that ended when I was 21. Now, although a belief in an infinitely powerful being that can give me eternal life is nice, the Hell part of it ruins the attractiveness of Christianity. I don't want anybody at all to be tortured forever, even people like Hitler and Bin Laden, whom I would love to torture myself for maybe 1,000 years, just not forever. That is outrageous. Also, not attributing this crazy reality to "God did it" makes the universe and life on this planet seem a whole lot more interesting.

Originally posted by Universal Mind
Also, not attributing this crazy reality to \"God did it\" makes the universe and life on this planet seem a whole lot more interesting.

Ha! Damn straight.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. Really helps to get to know everyone. This was a good thread idea.

Lets see, it starts with my dad's mother, who has been with the Catholic church for I don't know how many years. She still plays the church organ during mass at the church right across her street.

That was a strong reason why we were raised Catholic. Then we started going to church, and as early as second grade, we took religious education (RE) classes. I think by fourth grade, my two brothers and I did enough complaining that our parents stopped taking us because of the hassle and ensuing fights. We still took the RE classes into at least seventh grade.

After that though, religion was removed from our lives. I've attended public schools, all the way from daycare to the public university from which I'm about to graduate. Every since about third or fourth grade I knew that this religion was wrong and a waste of my time. However, I could not answer "No" to the question "Does God exist?".

It was one of several ideas that just felt right. There were other curious ideas, like reincarnation, I somehow knew better than to question. For example, I used to watch the X-Files, and some of the things I saw really made me wonder what was possible. Last Halloween, on Loveline there was a psychic person there telling different stories. That was so interesting, and then two weeks later, which is just more than a year ago, something so strange happened.

I was laying down to go to sleep, and all of a sudden I saw a flash of light out of the corner of my eye that generally looked like a girl's face, and it was. After that, I couldn't see her, but I could feel her presence. Ever since, I've been able to sense those who have passed on, if I stay still. Slowly, the experiences have become more intense.

That really led to a whole bunch of personal changes such as being really open minded, not afraid of death, et cetera. I was interested and did some research into several topics that the Loveline guest mentioned. Googling "aura" or something related got me to come across a free e-book on the internet that argues in favor of Metaphysics. After all the experiences I have had myself, I have the faith that most others don't that is necessary to believe.

I can't tell you how happy I was to log in today after staying off-line this weekend and
read these responses. It's exactly what I intended to create , a little more of a human element in all this text.
Thank you all for your honesty. Would still like to hear from some devout theists though.

Also, UniversalMinds post is definately worth taking the time to read. Many parallels
there ,in my opinion.
R.C.

Great topic!

I was born into a dangerously Catholic family (think "Carrie," by Stephen King). A lot of things about Catholicism didn’t make sense to me, nor did it feel right in my heart. At an early age I began to research different religious beliefs. I eventually found the expression of what is inside my heart. I am a witch, following a path similar to Wicca.

Similar to. Not exactly.

I respect and love all religions, even the ones I don’t understand, because I feel that it’s not my place to tell someone what’s in their hearts. That is for them to decide.

Originally posted by Genjyo
Either way I respect ALL PEOPLE who have and don't have spiritual beliefs. That is the prime goal for me.

RESPECT, PEACE and LOVE

Exactly.

Originally posted by R.Carter
Also, UniversalMinds post is definately worth taking the time to read. Many parallels
there ,in my opinion.
R.C.

I agree! It seems me and Universal have a lot of common in our upbringing. I'll also apologize in advance if my post gets too lengthy, but I'll do my best to keep it readable. ~

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I'm the eldest of two children, with a younger brother of 3 years. My birth parents were biker/hippies and we moved around a lot, traveling with groups of other bikers and hippies. I remember being exposed to a lot of spiritual and naturalistic type activities during those times, but looked at it as something odd and humorous.

My parents seperated when I was six and we lived with my grandmother (mom's mom), since she was able to help support us. My mother put us into a private christian school, that I attended from kindergarten to the 8th grade.

We had Bible studies every day, Prayer Fellowship every Wednesday and Sunday School/regular church service every Sunday. Each time we discussed the Bible my head would quickly become filled with questions. I was too scared to ask them during class, in fear that I would either be laughed at or scolded for challenging the instructor.

My mother was agnostic, so she couldn’t really satisfy my questions about God and the Bible. I would go to bed each night, praying to God for some answers. I knew (from what I was taught) that my doubts about the Bible might lead my soul to Hell, so I tried fervently to resolve the questions that kept popping up in my head.

My grandmother on my father’s side was a devout Christian and was very knowledgeable on the Bible. She was also an extremely nice women and I enjoyed spending time with her more than any other family member. I felt comfortable asking her my questions and she did a pretty good job at satisfying some of them. However, there was still quite a bit that she couldn’t answer and when those questions came up, she looked as if she had lost a piece of herself. I really couldn’t stand making her feel that way, so I stopped asking her those kind of questions.

When I was in the 8th grade, I finally got the courage to ask our pastor some questions after one of his lessons. At first he answered my questions with a pleasant confidence, but as my inquiries became more challenging he started to become visibly irritated. His previous lesson was on Noah’s Ark, so I asked him a few questions about the story. For example…What did the lion’s eat on the ark? Were there dinosaurs on the Ark? Why didn’t God just disintegrate the people that infuriated him instead of flooding the entire earth? (which seemed like a lot of unnecessary work)

After our little Q&A session, I was sent to the principles office where I received a paddling for my dissent. After that I was quickly turned off by the whole “believe us without question” mentality. As I got older, I presented my questions towards a wide variety of theists. After 20 years of searching, I have yet to find answers.

My father was Roman Catholic, a Knight of Columbus no less. He came from a Moravian (Eastern German / European background) religion in which the services were in Latin! My mother grew up on a homestead in a little Ukrainian settlement in northern Alberta. She was baptised Greek Orthodox, but never really got into the religion much. Growing up, my sisters and I didn’t ever go to church unless we were in Bruderhiem (where my dads family had settled from Germany), but the service was in German or Latin, so I didn’t really understand much.

I grew up believing in science, and any dogma or religious views I came across usually sent shivers down my spine. “How can you just blindly believe”, I thought.

After graduating high school, I began my university studies in science. I was constantly plagued by the feeling that all this study is pointless. I get a degree, find a job, have a family, die.... all for what. One course I was particularly fond of was on relativity (Physics 201 at U of A). It changed the way I view the universe. However, even this new view didn’t lead to the answer of “What am I supposed to do with my life?”.

I had been looking into aspects of eastern religions such as Buddhism and Taoism since reading the book by Cappra called ‘The Tao of Physics’. So many similarities between eastern mysticism and Quantum Mechanics and Relativity (particularly in a concept called “Emptiness”). So I began attending meditation classes where I live in Mahayana Buddhism. We study what causes suffering, aspects of mind such as anger, inner peace, and the nature of things called "Emptiness" which is very similiar to Relativity.

I still have troubles dealing with a lot of the ritual stuff, however, the ritual is full of symbolism for compassion, wisdom, and specific techniques for training the mind. I still get the shivers when doing prayers that I don’t fully understand the symbolic intent, but I make a point of coming to understand them, and then I feel better.

What really did it for me was when I read, “Don’t believe these words I have said just because I am called Buddha, you must experience them for yourself” (I think Nagrajuna may have said that originally). I really respected that. So far this holds true (for me) and I’ve experienced a lot of improvement in my life; such as peace, and I'm beginning to develope a purpose which seems meaningful.

Thanks to those who read my post. This has been a really interesting thread. I'm glad to see that others who were pounded in the head with Christianity as kids found their way to relief from the freaky brainwashing.

Good topic carter


I was brought up presbyterian, though when I say that, all I really knew as far back as I can remember is that I believed all the Jesus stories (that I knew) and we went to church every sunday and easter. And I believed in Santa Claus and the toothfairy too. Then one day I remember I was about 8 years old and I was mad about something and it hit me that it's entirely possible that god doesn't exist. I never talked to my folks about it much. Then I went to college and decided I was agnostic (oh we quit going to church when I was about 10 because it turns out my mom is agnostic...though she was baptized and raised Mormon.)

Then I kinda just quit thinking about it for a while, kinda comfortable I guess with the thought that's it's simply 'unknown'. Though I knew I still believed in a god of some sort.

Then I married this dude who was a recovering Mormon but we ended up both being baptized in a Mormon church (long and shameful story). Then we split up thank goodness, and I began to really toy with the notion that there's NOTHING in the spiritual, magical, mystical, afterlife, or otherwise "make believe" department. So I started calling myself an atheist. But I STILL believed in the possibility there might be SOMETHING else more. Then another DV member here was like, "...uh...no. You're not atheist then...there's a difference between believing and hoping." (majorly paraphrased) And THAT'S when it finally hit me that I needed to let go of all the things I was hoping, to really figure out what I truly believed.

Then it was simple. One of my majors in college was biology, and most of my family are doctors, and I'm a pretty rational, scientific minded person. I knew finally, once and for all, that there is nothing out there that can't be explained by good old science, and all the stuff I used to "believe" were just alot of comforting wishes. Now I'm much happier with the simplicity of what I see is what is. And I've truly never been happier or more content in my life.

"Ohhh the lies we tell ourselves..." -- insanejester
thanks man

Well, no matter which of the 2 churches I have gone to, they were very similar. When I was young, like now, we did learn about the Indians of BC, the prelife, this life, & the afterlife, & how we should love & treat one another. Bullcrap on that one b4, b/c they sure didn't treat me like that! When I was young, I lived a pretty happy childhood, except I would almost always bring a friend w/me, since they pretty much didn't pay much attention to me....I was neglected by my own church (in fact, they didn't even want me to get baptized, but I didn't give in to that, b/c I am stubborn, & never quit!). Things got worse about in the 6th grade, b/c I was pretty small at that age, but I sure made up for it a year later, & I commented on how tall they were (they were like 6 feet, while I was only 4 feet). They started to bully me, getting me grounded all the time, if I was to try to hang out, they would say they were busy, they'd then go over to each other's houses. I went to activities, & they were just rude...but nothing can compare to the 7th grade year, when they actually started verbally attacking me (ex: Calling me retard, laughing at me whenever I would try to socialize[and yes, I did talk about Dreaming back then, but ], etc), but at least by then, my parents supported me instead of them. My good friend had just moved away, so I had no one, not even my religion to turn to, & the only way my parents could convince me to go was to pay me!!. Finally, I was at the last straw around May 2001, & told them if they wouldn't stop picking on me, I would leave & never come back. They just laughed, & said if I did that, they would get me into trouble again, but I didn't care at that point. I wouldn't go anymore even if my parents paid me $100 to go. That is when I locked myself away from civilization for 2 weeks...wouldn't leave the house. Then my sis's friend invited us to go to her Church, Crescent View. Like my old church, they too learned about the Indians of BC Before & Beyond life, etc. The 1st time I came, I was so scared, b/c I thought they'd do the same, or worse. That is where I was wrong, b/c they took me in, invited me to activities (which was never done b4), etc, but I never really learned to trust them fully until around the summer of 2003, when I was relieved of all my anger & frustration, & a bit of my trust was restored, but I was seriously depressed, & seriously afraid of death, which didn't help at all when I started my .....?s soon later in the fall b4 Halloween. Other than my Church, whom I trusted alot, the Temple people, & my family, I pretty much trusted no one else, b/c I thought they were going to hurt me, & there were some that did that, but not too much. I would either hide in the office, or in my Computer Tech class, but I would talk to people from my church. My trust dropped a bit in the 3rd quarter, & my meds were increased, b/c of the demise of my B.friend, but my religion was actually trying to help my grieving, but I still cry over him to this day....
I trust my religion, b/c of their kindness...& always will!

I was baptized when I was about 6...I forget which cult...err, I mean which sect of Christianity though.

All I remember is getting kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions.

Originally posted by bradybaker
All I remember is getting kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions.

OMG! So did I! I also got smacked with a ruler a lot. By that time, I think my mother was convinced that I was not her daughter, but the spawn of Satan. Either way, that's how she looks at me now and has looked at me for a long time.

Originally posted by A Lost Soul

OMG! So did I! I also got smacked with a ruler a lot. By that time, I think my mother was convinced that I was not her daughter, but the spawn of Satan. Either way, that's how she looks at me now and has looked at me for a long time.

I am sorry she calls you that....don't worry about it though...we don't see you that way!! We see you as a nice person...
I ask questions all the time in my CV Sunday class, & they don't mind at all...if that was true, I would have been struck dead & gone to Hades a long time ago.

So, why I've stuck with Christianity. I may not finish this now, so if I don't and I forget, feel free to remind me. And while I don't have answers to everything, I believe there's a reason for that, too.

So, first off, my parents are both Christians and raised me and my 3 siblings to know who God is. They worked hard to instill in us good, moral values, and the strength to stick to them and they did a pretty good job to be honest. As a youth, I was taken to church almost every Sunday (except for holidays, sick days, or days we just needed off), but when I was... oh, I think around 6th or 7th grade, our church acquired a new pastor and I began to enjoy listening to him speak. My dad is a very smart man, so whenever I had a question related to God or Christianity or life in general, he would give me a reasonable answer. Not only do I believe him because he's my dad, but he makes sense.

When I began to grow older, I began to get more involved in the church. I consider myself fortunate because the church I attended didn't require service or ceremony, but rather focused on a relationship with a loving God who wants to bless His children.

(I'm sorry. I'll finish this later. I'm in a study lounge and a group of people are bashing on Christians and don't want to be tempted to start an arguement... hope you don't take this wrong, but I will be back later.)

Relax,I'll stay tuned.

Originally posted by Universal Mind
I had started neurotically praying throughout the day, terrified of slipping up somehow and making an invisible thing with infinite power, along with what I now say is every personality disorder in Cluster B of the DSM, mad because I forgot to make a big enough deal of him.

I went through that also.

Anyway, I was raised as a Christian. I've always had questions about my beliefs, but this past year was the turning point, and I no longer follow that religion. I'm currently Buddhist.