From the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Near Death Experiences, and other sources I have gathered the following.
Initially you have a chance at enlightenment, just follow the light. If you cling, then you enter a dreamworld, where you have to figure out you're dead. From there, you have the opportunity to fulfull all of your unachieved desires, to do anything you want. There are a few pitfalls during this process, one of them is your urges. You can get caught up in realms of pleasure and desire and lose track of what you're doing or why you're here. Another is fear, not everything in your subconscious is pleasant and it could overwhelm you.
After that you meet the spirits that keep the memories of all your past lives and intentions. They're like your spiritual family, and they guide you through the life review where you watch your life, and see all the intended and unintended consequences of your actions and all your fulfilled and unfulfilled opportunities. This can be jarring, as you entered earth with a specific purpose and to see how horribly you failed this purpose can suck. A lot of people don't want to face their failure, so they get snagged at this process and try to recreate the living world. It's true people in Hell don't know where they are. They are clinging to an illusion to avoid the truth, and that's all it is. Sometimes people have to go really, really deep in order to avoid truth.
However after the life review, then you get the options of which path to take, but the best one is to enter the physical dimension again as a human being, so I recommend that if it's available. From there, you can see potential parents and how your entrance will affect their lives and everyone else around you. Usually you see the highest potential good you can do, which sucks because nobody's perfect and it can get you all buttered up just to see how hard you suck after you die. Oh well, forgiving yourself is the key. Just face decisions, be accountable to them.




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