Thread: My Goal

Ok well good news is that Seroquel did not mess with my dream recall. Now I just need to figure out what mg dose I need to take in order to be unable to wake up. Last night I took 100 mg of seroquel and it barely managed to put me to sleep so tonight I will be trying a 200 mg dose while also attempting to induce a nightmare. The plan is to use my lucidity to create the base for the dream and then to stop being lucid and see where the dream takes me.

Why do you want to be unable to wake up?

Watch a horror movie, play a horror game at night in total darkness and alone in the room. It might give you a chance to dream of something scary at night.

I don't think it works that way. Your conscious understanding of fear may not be what you are actually afraid of. I have found very untraditionally scary things to be more frightening then what is classically seen to be scary. Yet to describe them, would make most people laugh since they do not fall into the classical definition of scary.

While I find the classical definition of scary, to not be that frightening since in a dream, the best hint to give me that I'm dreaming is to threaten my existence in some way, which at that point I will go lucid. So for me, it is often scarier to not be scary, and it must be difficult to find things that I fear anymore.

Once someone is beyond the classical definition of scary, they then descend into a psychological one and that's when things get personal. Had a favorite sled when you were young? You'll see tarnished in some way. Not smashed, not destroyed, just tarnished enough to get an emotional response. If there is anything you ever value, it is scary to see it be devalued.

Originally Posted by Arutad

Why do you want to be unable to wake up?

Watch a horror movie, play a horror game at night in total darkness and alone in the room. It might give you a chance to dream of something scary at night.

"I believe I have come close to this goal before and I am still trying but the problem is that whenever my body starts to really feel the stress I wake up."

Horror movies/games usually tend to bore me. The plan is/has been to enter a dream as lucid, create a base situation to get lost in, and then surrender lucidity and see where things go. The biggest problem is whenever I have already given up control and find myself in a progressively worsening situation after my real physical body starts reacting to the dream or my mind reaches a certain stress level I get ejected and wake up.

Originally Posted by TempletonEsquire

I don't think it works that way. Your conscious understanding of fear may not be what you are actually afraid of. I have found very untraditionally scary things to be more frightening then what is classically seen to be scary. Yet to describe them, would make most people laugh since they do not fall into the classical definition of scary.

While I find the classical definition of scary, to not be that frightening since in a dream, the best hint to give me that I'm dreaming is to threaten my existence in some way, which at that point I will go lucid. So for me, it is often scarier to not be scary, and it must be difficult to find things that I fear anymore.

Once someone is beyond the classical definition of scary, they then descend into a psychological one and that's when things get personal. Had a favorite sled when you were young? You'll see tarnished in some way. Not smashed, not destroyed, just tarnished enough to get an emotional response. If there is anything you ever value, it is scary to see it be devalued.

I already realize that my conscious understanding of fear is not what I am actually afraid of which is why I have no interesting in watching some crazy horror movie to hopefully see the boogieman when I go to sleep. Even though I do not consciously fear death if I were to get into a situation where I know I am about to die I will subconsciously fear my own death as it is happening.

How can I better explain this.. Lets say you go on a trip to the grand canyon in the real world not in a dream. For some reason you trip or a part of the earth suddenly breaks away causing you to slip and fall off into the thing. Picture what your mind and body would go through actually being takin by suprise and falling off of a very large cliff knowing that you are about to be dead. This is kind of similar to the same thing I am wanting to experience cept a good bit more extreme. The main difference is that I would like a more prolonged experience.

Originally Posted by Mylynes

Horror movies/games usually tend to bore me.

Lucky you! But surely there must be something scary in your life, something that really freaks you out. I still suggest that you try scaring yourself in some way, that always worked for me. If you fall asleep in a scared state, it will result in a nightmare.

The plan is/has been to enter a dream as lucid, create a base situation to get lost in, and then surrender lucidity and see where things go. The biggest problem is whenever I have already given up control and find myself in a progressively worsening situation after my real physical body starts reacting to the dream or my mind reaches a certain stress level I get ejected and wake up.

I wish you luck.

I already realize that my conscious understanding of fear is not what I am actually afraid of which is why I have no interesting in watching some crazy horror movie to hopefully see the boogieman when I go to sleep.

Hm maybe you've watched too many horror movies already, and played too many games, if they don't scare you at all. I don't know about movies, but games are normally scary provided that you play at night time, the lights are off and you're alone.

Originally Posted by Arutad

Lucky you! But surely there must be something scary in your life, something that really freaks you out. I still suggest that you try scaring yourself in some way, that always worked for me. If you fall asleep in a scared state, it will result in a nightmare.

I don't know how that could work when I almost always enter my dreams in a lucid state. I also have very good control over my dreams while lucid. Short of having a person I do not know point a gun at me in the real world I dont know what would scare me. Maybe a lot of people with knives and such. While lucid its a completely different story.. all weapons are useless against me because when I'm lucid I'm like the god of my own world. I cant think of anything that could threaten me while lucid. Would be cool if there is a way to have shared lucid dreams and I could pit my mind against another real person. XD I doubt it though..

Originally Posted by Arutad

I wish you luck.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by Arutad

Hm maybe you've watched too many horror movies already, and played too many games, if they don't scare you at all. I don't know about movies, but games are normally scary provided that you play at night time, the lights are off and you're alone.

Yep i have watched a lot a movies and I've played a good number of horror games as well because sometimes there fun. I like watching the new horror movies in theators and seeing all the people that jump or scream when something jumps out and attempts to scare the audience. I'ts pretty funny to me because I havn't had a movie make me jump or anything since I was a little kid maybe. I also usually root for the ghost or monster or whatever the bad guy is. If someone gets killed in a brutal way my response is often just to enjoy the crazy graphics.

So yea games and movies = no fear at all for me. I don't know of anything that would scare me other than really serious shit hapening irl. Which is why the plan is to attempt to reacreate a really bad situation while lucid and then purposely forget that I'm dreaming. It's not that hard for me really.. thats the way I usually have to have my normal dreams.

Anyways time for an update on my progress. I haven't posted any attempts or dreams on the site in a while because i've been having trouble sleeping. I feel tired yet fully awake and not sleepy even though i've been awake since a few hours before I posted my last dream journal entry. That was on 06-25-2009, 05:42 PM so i'm at a little over 48 hours with no sleep. =/ I only took 100 mg of seroquel last night and still wasn't able to get sleepy so tonight i'm definately going to be trying 200 mg.

Well if you can't be scared by games or movies, then I don't know what else to think of. Being scared by life is usually another kind of fear and won't help to make nightmares. In my experience you have to be scared of something supernatural for it to carry into the dream, you can't be scared of something like that in life.

[QUOTE=Mylynes;1117881] I want to believe that I am on the verge of death and then I want to hit the wall and attempt to push through it.

Please tell the prescribing clinician that you are actively seeking a "brush with death" (even if it is in your dreams). I wouldn't be worried about your post except that you stated that you are on Seroquel. I am concerned for you.

[QUOTE=Liz;1120500]

Originally Posted by Mylynes

I want to believe that I am on the verge of death and then I want to hit the wall and attempt to push through it.

Please tell the prescribing clinician that you are actively seeking a "brush with death" (even if it is in your dreams). I wouldn't be worried about your post except that you stated that you are on Seroquel. I am concerned for you.

I don't see why you would be so concerned about me wanting to have a certain dream. I have no desire to actually get killed I just want to know what it feels like. I have my reasons for wanting to do this. Also I was prescribed sleep meds because I sometimes have trouble going to sleep for pretty long periods of time.

I find in order to achieve certain themed lucid states, Passive Control works much better than trying to actively achieve it. I think the "subconscious" works against us in regards to our logical desires, so to have a goal of doing something that is not part of a base need could be an immediate barrier to actually doing it. I suppose that's what people are talking about when they say "you need to let go", which means in order to achieve your goal you need to trick your "subconscious" into thinking you are not trying to achieve it.

Originally Posted by TempletonEsquire

I find in order to achieve certain themed lucid states, Passive Control works much better than trying to actively achieve it. I think the "subconscious" works against us in regards to our logical desires, so to have a goal of doing something that is not part of a base need could be an immediate barrier to actually doing it. I suppose that's what people are talking about when they say "you need to let go", which means in order to achieve your goal you need to trick your "subconscious" into thinking you are not trying to achieve it.

I guess I haven't really made this clear enough. I don't have much trouble with inducing the dream and ridding myself of lucidity. The only problem is that after I start getting to where I wanted to be while lucid my body becomes more active and forces me to wake up as soon as things start to become stressful. So my only real problem with this goal is finding a way to remain in the dream that I create.

So, you know about the side effects of Ambien, such as sleep eating, sleep driving, sleep sex?