First of all you need to stop identifying yourself with your troubles and realize that this is something that EVERYONE goes through.
When you have done that you can start to do what is right.
I have got the right mindset into my brain by both practising lucid dreaming for 5-6 years, but also by challenging myself by trying to pick up girls.
I know that it sounds totally random, but I have realized that the road to frequent success is exactly the same no matter what you do.
So just do whatever you can do with the information and lessons I am going to present to you and take what you like and leave the rest.
First of all I have realized that frequent success is a longterm process, the people who just want the experience for a quick stimulation of their ego, like a lucid experience or a girl's validation, well they are not going to get it, and if they do it will not be of much value to them.
So you have to do things that you know is in favor in longterm and not in short-term. Like for example focus on learning and getting experiences rather than getting result. Because you can always learn, but you can't control the result. As a beginner you can't really control if you will get a lucid dream because you don't have the reference experience and knowledge to trust or even know how to possibly do it, and as a beginner you can't control if a girl will like you, for the same reason. That brings us to the next "rule". Only focus on what is within your control, you can't control if you are going to remember your dreams, if you get a lucid dream, if a girls will answer your call/ sms, if a girl will like you when you approach, but you can always TRY!
And here is the best advice that I got from Tyler from RSD on youtube:
Admit that you suc* shit! And admit to yourself that right now you are the worst lucid dreamer ever!
When you do this you can start to find joy in the small things! Like that you recalled ONE dream -> that it was kind of vivid -> that you were kind of aware.
To saying that you suc* shit might seem like a mean thing, however it is much more mean to yourself to try to live up to some kind of lucid dreaming pro ego. I can tell you how this kind of thinking made me succeed both with lucid dreaming and picking up girls (for the guys out there!).
And this will also work like a summary of all the mindset I have mentioned: Focus on and trust the longterm process, learning is the answer, only do and focus on what is within your control.
Instead of trying to not fail, I just totally accepted that I am a failure and even wanted to fail. I was practising dream recall at the time and I went to bed hoping to fail just so I could learn something so that I could understand what works and what doesn't. So then I woke up the next morning and didn't remember anything and I wrote down that I had done. And then the morning where I did remember lots of dreams I also wrote down what I had done and that gave birth to this theory: http://www.dreamviews.com/dream-sign...reams-try.html
Likewise one night I went to the club and I approached girls and tried to get rejected on purpose, because I wanted to fail and get used to rejection, because it's inevitable, it will happen eventually, I am not looking like Brad Pit.. But to my surprise the girls just liked how ballsy I was, and since I really didn't care about the outcome I wasn't needy or looking for validation. And that's when I from experienced learned that doing and finding joy in what's in your control, like approaching, is better and puts you in the mindset of success compared to focus on what's not in your control like if the girls will like you or not.
Also think about another thing. Let's say you want to learn to play a guitar but you don't have any hands. You are obviously in a worse position than a person that has hands. However it can all be cured with time a persistence I mean what if you try to learn to play with your feet for 10-15 years.
How can you possibly fail? This is an extreme example I just want to prove a point. No matter what kind of obstacles and troubles that are tossed on you, if you just continue to practise you can't fail!
And here is a poem of success I found somewhere:
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Good luck!
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