Thread: How not to ruin lucid dreams by doing sexual stuff!

Originally Posted by ssj3vicarot

Hello everyone,

I have started getting into lucid dreaming this past year and have had maybe a 12 or so LD. The first one was by far the best one I have had and the latter one's have had various degree's of success and lucidity levels. What my biggest problem is that when I become lucid everything is travelling along well I do my R/C's, stabalize the dream, all that stuff. I'll just try to stay calm and wander around. I'll keep saying to myself don't do anything silly and I'll see a dream character and before I realise what has happened I'll be doing something sexual to the character, get over exited, cursed what I have done and woke up annoyed. I've done mantra's during the day to try and incubate a thought to stop me doing it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop doing this.

Thanks in advance.

The same thing is happening to me with lucid dreams! I don't know if it's a phase or what but I wish I could get some advice on this as well. I have noticed though that even though the temptation is there, I don't seem to be able to follow through with anything. Maybe some stuff happens but there's a block. If it's a lucid it does become an obstacle where I can't expand my experiences. Let me know if you get any results in overcoming this. I will try to write more about it in my DJ and set verbal intentions to overcome it.

Dreams manifest your thoughts in a split second. It's nearly impossible to control all your thoughts and the bittersweet thing about dreams is that it only takes one quick thought to manifest something in your dream and change its course. I've experienced this. Maybe it's happening because you're so hung up on NOT doing it that you inevitably start thinking about it. You said it yourself, "I keel telling myself don't do anything silly" and since you're thinking about all the silly stuff you don't want to do, it happens. That's why they say when you're choosing affirmations to choose ones that only reaffirm the positive and don't even mention the negative. So instead of saying "I don't want to do anything silly" try something more like "I want to remain calm and in control" or whatever it is that really captures what you want.
I would suggest not getting so upset about it so there's not a strong emotional connection to the negative thought. Also perhaps relieving yourself before bed would help to reduce your urges and sexual thoughts during the night?

It's just frustrating way for me anyway to end a L/D. "Relieving myself" doesn't really help as the only way I can L/D so far is DILD. But thanks for the answers!

* Moved to Dream Control

This might not help you, but I am usually able to avoid getting sucked into sexual stuff when I have a higher level of awareness in dreams. I haven't tested it yet but I think I'm going to start increasing my awareness first thing when I become lucid. And how I plan to do that is by quieting my mind like when I meditate. But yea, I definitely know how frustrating it can be to get stuck into the cycle of sex in lucid dreams when there are so many other cool things to do!

For me it's like sexual activity is my default thing to do in a lucid dream if I don't have a clear goal or I'm not aware enough to remember my goal. So I'd suggest having a lucid dream goal or task. Something you would really like to do in the dream, other than sexual stuff.

Also, I try to stay aware and maintain focus and control even when I get caught up in sexual activity during a lucid dream. Instead of viewing it as an obstacle or a failure, I try to look at it as another challenge (a quite pleasant challenge).

Stopping sex dreams is the same as stopping nightmares. They are both primal human instincts. One telling us to reproduce so that our species can live on, and one telling us that we should run away from scary things so that we as an individual can live on. Therefore they can be handled in similar ways.

Either while awake and meditating or in a lucid dream, ask yourself why you are having the sex dream. Is it because you are feeling that something is missing (a partner) or that you might be forever a virgin. Whatever this fear or issue is, you have to come to grips with it. Once you do, the sex dream will become undermined and you should be able to stop it. If the only reason you can come up with for having it is because you want to have sex and that's it, then willpower should be enough to overcome it.

But if it's not, try doing what insideout is saying. Touching a sexual partner in a dream isn't that different from touching the dream world to stabilize. If you can keep your mind aware and not get too excited, staying in the sex dream long enough to overcome it should not be too difficult.

I wouldn't recommend trying to 'alleviate' the problem in WL. This does not solve this problem. In fact, for some people, it makes it worse. But everybody is different, so what works for some may not work for others.

If you truly think your at a dead end, couple these techniques with autosuggestion and visualization. The combined might of all of these should overcome your desires.

Originally Posted by JadeGreen

Stopping sex dreams is the same as stopping nightmares. They are both primal human instincts. One telling us to reproduce so that our species can live on, and one telling us that we should run away from scary things so that we as an individual can live on.

I don't think sex is telling us to reproduce. I'm sorry but that's just a crazy evolutionist notion. Many husbands and wives don't have sex to reproduce. Our sexuality has little to do with babies. It's time you matured a little bit and realized what sexuality actually is about.

Secondly that's not why we have nightmares either, we don't 'run away form scary things' (well cowards might) it isn't about avoiding fear, that's not so much a instinct as it is a trait of cowards? I've never run away from my fears, have you?

When you first start becoming lucid, I can see the motivation to go after sexual stuff. And I highly doubt that ssj3vicarot is out to make a baby in his dream. That wasn't his motivation! lol. There is no easy way to 'stop' sexual desire, anything inappropriate in this area is deeply complex issue, and no other person could make a post here that would automatically fix this, but I guess they could send you on the right track. I would suggest sort of similar to what jade said in questioning why it is you want the sexual experiences, but other to question why you know it's anoyying and wrong, and once you understand why it disturbs you, then you can figure out how to overcome it. And I can understand why that is disturbing, it is. Don't let people tell you that it's 'natural' because it actually is a basic form of imbalance that needs sorting out. Wish you the best of luck in getting through it all. Just throw me a message if you want any more thoughts.

Hi,

I had this problem aswell and sometimes tend to have still
It usually happend when i didn't remember or couldn't figure out what to do in dream.
Issue usually was resolved by planning stuff before my WILD Attempts.

So just night or few hours before attempt/falling asleep plan out your lucid dream and see if it works
You will be so busy with your dream task that you won't even have time to think about perverted stuff
Also don't forget abot Stabilization which is important aswell.

- Goodluck

Originally Posted by insideout

For me it's like sexual activity is my default thing to do in a lucid dream if I don't have a clear goal or I'm not aware enough to remember my goal. So I'd suggest having a lucid dream goal or task. Something you would really like to do in the dream, other than sexual stuff.

Also, I try to stay aware and maintain focus and control even when I get caught up in sexual activity during a lucid dream. Instead of viewing it as an obstacle or a failure, I try to look at it as another challenge (a quite pleasant challenge).

This is very good advice. I am just the same way, it seems when I get in a dream I'm just too much of a horndog to pass the opportunity up. If I try to lucid dream with a goal in mind, it's more or less the first thing I think about when LDing, as opposed to trying to find a girl and railing her immediately. Repeat your goal in a mantra! That way it'll be stuck in your memory when you begin to dream.