Thread: Lucid Sex

There is a correlation, yeah. But like I said, there's no physiological reason for waking from dream sex.

Originally Posted by Ctharlhie

Here's my theory on why sex leads to waking up. But first we have to note that there is nothing to support the idea that there is anything physiological happening when you have sex in a dream that would lead you to wake up. This fact is supported by studies carried out on sex dreams.

Also consider that sex never wakes you up from your non lucids. I have had plenty of sex LDs without waking.

My theory is based on my maxim that dreams are fundamentally narrative, and that problems of stability and control come from the interruption/disruption of the dream narrative. I will write a whole thread on this theory along with my general observations when I reach my 4 lucidversary.

So in my theory there are two causes, the second being a result of the first:

1. The first cause is that LD sex often comes as a violent injunction of the 'dream plot'. You become lucid. This is already a radical break with the narrative course of the dream as most LDers will typically stop whatever they are doing and deliberately ignore or even forget the prior dream story. Having already interrupted the dream plot the LDer grabs the nearest DC and starts going tong and hammers with no narrative justification. The unconscious struggles to 'buffer' and crashes.

2. This first cause (which in truth is only a general principle of lucid dreaming as such) is used as evidence that lucid dream sex is 'impossible'. As this meme spreads through the community, more and more LDers find that initiating sex leads to immediately waking, due to the schema they have internalised.

Finally, consider this: even though there are no social consequences in dreams, this does not mean that acts are empty of their social signification. If in waking life you grabbed the nearest person and started intercourse, that would be rape.

So my advice is to first establish emotional intimacy. Your dreams don't actually want to cock-block you; if you first make eye-contact, or hold hands, or kiss, or cuddle, a DC they should be happy to 'go all the way'. This I think is why women tend to have more success with sex LDs.

So brush up on your dream foreplay, guys!

From my experience in normal dreams, the longer the chase/foreplay goes on for, the worse the chances of going all the way get... which is why in my lucids so far I haven't wasted any time with that. Maybe I will try though and see what happens. I just hate waking up with that blue balls feeling lmao. Of course it's great spank material for the shower in the morning either way because even though dreams end imagination continues!

Originally Posted by Ctharlhie

There is a correlation, yeah. But like I said, there's no physiological reason for waking from dream sex.

Really? What about increased heart rate, for example? There are lots of changes that go on with arousal that I could imagine participate in a "wake up!" signal being sent?

Originally Posted by FryingMan

Really? What about increased heart rate, for example? There are lots of changes that go on with arousal that I could imagine participate in a "wake up!" signal being sent?

Nope. From what I've read in Patricia Garfield's Creative Dreaming and other sources, increased heart rate is not associated with dream sex.

Well there may be average/typical, then there may be *me*. I remember, particularly early on in my first LDs, reaching for a girl and having the dream instantly vanish and I'm there wide awake in bed with a racing heart. However, that may have been an isolated event.

I used to have dream sex fine but later on I started waking up just before orgasm.

Same thing happened to me with teleportation, I would close my eyes to teleport and did it that way fine for ages, then all of a sudden closing my eyes wakes me up.

I have no idea why.

Originally Posted by Eonnn

I used to have dream sex fine but later on I started waking up just before orgasm.

Same thing happened to me with teleportation, I would close my eyes to teleport and did it that way fine for ages, then all of a sudden closing my eyes wakes me up.

I have no idea why.

It will come back to you, I'm sure. I never wake up before finishing. But then, I'm fast. Wam-bam, thank you ma'am.

Originally Posted by gab

It will come back to you, I'm sure. I never wake up before finishing. But then, I'm fast. Wam-bam, thank you ma'am.

So what is your feeling after finishing in the lucid? Do you wake up horny or satisfied

Good to see this thread revived. Dream sex is my LD profession and if it required a license, i would be highly qualified and certified as a trainer. I have trained myself for years and after learning to DEILD about a year ago, it has reached new heights. I know all the crap about caveman mode, fight / flight, but it's my dream and it's what i choose to do. Hell, I have even created several exotic brothels that i frequently visit. Yea I have had periods where I done other cool stuff ( travel to space, vaproize buildings, fly across the atlaitic ocean), but it does not compare to a good sex DEILD chain that leaves me buzzing for days.

Originally Posted by PercyLucid

We expect a full report from it!

Good luck

Regarding to stabilization during dream sex... I have a flawless (so far) technique and very simple...

Do not EVER look into your partners eyes or body altogether, avoid kissing too and while you are at it, look left and right continuously. You will still have an awesome experience and as weird as it sounds... remember is just a dream... with whomever you are having sex, won't care for that. This is done for you to avoid ending prematurely your REM phase, so you want to keep your eyes moving.

Funny I have always used this technique and it is the only thing that has worked for me. I am not sure it is about eye movement though. I've always done it to keep from getting too wrapped up in what is going on. i think it helps you too because it makes you more detached and (therefore) less excited. I take on an almost bored mindset where I just mindlessly watch things going on in the background. Maybe it is related to eye movement and I never realized it, but obviously getting too excited about something you are doing in a lucid dream will wake you up and I think looking around helps to calm you down.

Originally Posted by AstroFlyer

Good to see this thread revived. Dream sex is my LD profession and if it required a license, i would be highly qualified and certified as a trainer. I have trained myself for years and after learning to DEILD about a year ago, it has reached new heights. I know all the crap about caveman mode, fight / flight, but it's my dream and it's what i choose to do. Hell, I have even created several exotic brothels that i frequently visit. Yea I have had periods where I done other cool stuff ( travel to space, vaproize buildings, fly across the atlaitic ocean), but it does not compare to a good sex DEILD chain that leaves me buzzing for days.

OK, Mr. Trainer, spills the beans! Let's hear it! Are you accepting apprentices? Please?

Originally Posted by kingofhypocrites

Funny I have always used this technique and it is the only thing that has worked for me. I am not sure it is about eye movement though. I've always done it to keep from getting too wrapped up in what is going on. i think it helps you too because it makes you more detached and (therefore) less excited. I take on an almost bored mindset where I just mindlessly watch things going on in the background. Maybe it is related to eye movement and I never realized it, but obviously getting too excited about something you are doing in a lucid dream will wake you up and I think looking around helps to calm you down.

I will try that the next time around. The three experiences I have had have not lasted anywhere near as long as I would've liked. It's like trying to bust too quick... Just take your mind out of it a bit and lessen the excitement lol. I just want finish in a dream and see how I feel.

It would appear that I used my necro powers to revive this thread. Anyways, in recent news -

I have noticed a slight change in lucid sex than the way it was before.
If I have more of an emotional attachment to whatever I am, erhm - banging, then the sensation is MUCH MUCH MUCH stronger.
Also - having a girlfriend really hasn't changed lucid sex for me at all. You would think I would feel guilty but...

Nope.

fun stuff. i cant believe how vivd our minds can put things in our dreams. cool stuff really. our life away from waking life is mysterious.

Originally Posted by SinisterDezz

Alright guys, I got some updates for ya...

I have a girlfriend now. One step closer.

Guys, I got some bad news.

I guess you could say I had a pretty shitty April 1st.

I've had lucid sex. To me it's awesome because I have total control over my partner. It's like they're puppets to my bidding. But I can never orgasm during the dream. I wake up and finish myself off, or let it go.

Can you shapeshift your body in lucid dreams, ss it rather physical-like compared to astral projection?

I would like to shapeshift a 40cm penis or even longer, very possible i suppose...

Lucid masturbation hows that like?

Originally Posted by 3196

Can you shapeshift your body in lucid dreams, ss it rather physical-like compared to astral projection?

I would like to shapeshift a 40cm penis or even longer, very possible i suppose...

Lucid masturbation hows that like?

I can shape shift my partner easier than my dream self, for some reason. But I'm still new to this and the things I've been able to do seem really remarkable. I'm working on shapeshifting my dream self. Lucid masturbation? Haven't tried it. Why would I if I can conjure a partner?

Damn I'm curious to try lucid masturbation now just to see... I don't plan on doing it for long because hey i can do that whenever... but hey you never know maybe you add a little warming gel and shapeshift some extra hands and really go to town with it haha

Not ashamed to say that I have done it... I mean c'mon, lol. I've never had sex before but damn son it still felt good! haha

Originally Posted by robertcox88

I will try that the next time around. The three experiences I have had have not lasted anywhere near as long as I would've liked. It's like trying to bust too quick... Just take your mind out of it a bit and lessen the excitement lol. I just want finish in a dream and see how I feel.

So I just had the opportunity to try this morning the looking around thing while having sex and it really did work! I kept looking around at the dream scene while looking back down at what and - who I was doing lol for visual stimulation... but honestly the feeling was amazing and looking around the dream scene was enjoyable too because I was outside and there was a lot of detail to look at... so yea it really worked out. I was almost able to finish in the dream too. I felt the build up like normal but didn't actually - well let loose. It felt like I did somewhat though because I switched dreams shortly after and I felt sexually satisfied enough to fly around and explore the dream scene (which was a suburban area... so not especially interesting but still cool to fly around)... I still was looking for a female, but not as intently. The next dream I went into I was back to being horny again and found someone quickly, got to going, but this time didn't look around very much and the session ended rather quickly... I might have been woken up by my alarm though which in that case there was nothing I could do anyway.

Good deal. I have read other explanations that say that zooming in your focus on an object for too long can cause the dream to crumble so this may be a factor as well (in addition to calming your excitement). I think it is likely both factors, since it's well established that even getting exciting about being lucid (without doing anything) can wake you up. The other techniques proposed by various authors propose connecting on a romantic level, use of consent, and various (non-sexual foreplay) to increase stability by working "with" your subconscious nature but this seems rather to subjective to say that "everyone" desires romance and connection deep down. This seems more of a religious precept -- not to say I necessarily disagree -- but not sure where this is derived from unless it is some psychology theory. I have never been able to properly test these ideas as of yet (although I am in the process of doing so). They can also backfire since you tend to waste time doing them, but I would imagine if your dream was really stable, the time needed would be negligible since you would hopefully have at least 10-30 minutes of lucidity.

I find also it is easier if you are not "too" lucid. Some people would disagree here. I also don't advocate trying to reduce lucidity, but it is just an observation. I think this may be because you are more engrossed in the dream plot and less likely to disrupt it. I think of it as gently guiding the dream plot although these are based on limit data and my own personal observations. Similar ideas have been proposed by other dreamers as well (such as asking dream characters a question that is based on an assumption... such as we are here for flight training correct?? ). I find if I start to get a little lost in the dream plot, stabilization is not a factor. I don't have to worry about waking up because I stop thinking about the fact that I am dreaming constantly. Again, I say I don't recommend trying to lose lucidity, but rather to hold on to it, but a curious thing I noticed recently. Think about it... when you have no lucidity at all, you easily engage in exciting activities without awakening.

That is a bit of a tangent, so I will summarize by saying that these are the most promising ideas in my opinion:

1) doing a few minutes of pre-stabilization
2) not zooming in focus for too long,
3) staying calm and complacent (bored-mindset I like to call it)
4) gently guiding the dream plot and hence using dream characters for their intended purpose. Why pick a random character when you can guide the dream plot to provide you one?
5) investigating various levels of connection/consent/foreplay (again this ties to dc intended purpose). I have seen a few authors recommend this and some people say it backfires. I think it can backfire because when provided with the option the DC may go against your wishes or you would may awaken due to time wasted (or the plot could shift). Premature awakening can be a lack of stabilization so a combination of techniques and experimentation is likely needed.

Originally Posted by robertcox88

Damn I'm curious to try lucid masturbation now just to see... I don't plan on doing it for long because hey i can do that whenever... but hey you never know maybe you add a little warming gel and shapeshift some extra hands and really go to town with it haha

In my experience, as long as no DCs interrupt me or barge in on my and ruin my mood (which they most often do), dream masturbation feels TEN TIMES better than any kind of real life masturbation. Bar none. It's like what you're supposed to feel in life during an orgasm. One time it was so powerful it woke me up, and my cat was sitting at the foot of my bed looking at me, but I needed to "finish the job", so he looked at me a bit funny as the bed was shaking for a moment. Lucid attempts at any kind of sex or masturbation, though... pathetic failure.

Originally Posted by FryingMan

OK, Mr. Trainer, spills the beans! Let's hear it! Are you accepting apprentices? Please?

OK here it is,

Lucid Sex Guide:
First off a little about me. I suppose I am a natural Lucid Dreamer as I have had LDs ever since I can remember. It was only about three years ago I knew what it was. They were Lucids in the sense that I had a low level of awareness. I would know I could wake myself up if in a bad situation and have even used it as a threat from someone or something that was about to harm me. Also I have been flying ever since childhood but somehow rationed it away and just accepted it as reality. Ok on to the dream sex. Starting in my teenage years I started having very vivid and lengthy dream sex encounters. Although they were non lucid, I did realize that since I was dreaming, there would be no consequences or no risk of being turned down. I never had any problem with waking even after multiple encounters. Well that all changed when I realized what lucid dreaming was. It was like a switch that turned me from a porn star to waking at even approaching a female DC. That was only a few LDs over a 2-3 week period. During this period I slowly worked my way to scoring by only trying light sexual contact ( groping, kissing, hugging, ect..). Although this was nowhere near what I was use to in my non LDs, it was far more exhilarating and overwhelming at times. I marveled at the fact that I could walk up to a DC in public and grab her tits or ass without worrying about getting slapped or locked up. I looked back a my DJ and after about 4 months and 15 nights with LDs of varying success, I had my first extreme all out sex festival with 5-6 DCs .With this my LD frequency increased as well. I got to the point where I passed over low quality DCs for better looking ones. I went through a period of about 2 weeks reframing from SC to explore other things but then the DCs started coming after me!. So I guess I fell back off the wagon ( or back on ). Im saying all this to make the point that I can attribute my success to the fact that I had prior experience with both awareness and sex. This has helped me to develop some techniques along the way which will gladly share. They include things you probably heard before but with maybe a new twist. Here they are in bullet form;

•Stabilize – We all have heard it and know to do it, but avoid it at times. Don’t waste any time after stabilizing, get right to it ( if you think about it, the DC is really our subconscious and who would know better when the dream is about to fade) . I have had the DC to help me stabilize by asking her to let me know when I am starting to fade away. This has worked for me a few times but YMMV.

•Oral is sex to - For a while avoid the things that just flat out wake you without warning. For me it was intercourse ( and still is to a certain extent). I found that with oral ( either way ) I could hold on to the LD longer and even orgasm (COF is my favorite). Also I found that if I start out with oral and make it to the intercourse part, it tended to be more successful. Also with oral you are ready to engage right away, nothing to disrobe from a mouth. I often just walk around with my mess out and walk up to random DCs, they know what to do without having to say a word.

•Don’t render the DC too much – At first I was obsessed with the quality of the DC and focused on what she looked like even down to tan lines and hair/eye color. Most of the time I seemed to get nowhere with this type and would wake often with the first touch. Of my most memorable encounters, I could not remember what they looked like after the dream. Other than skin tone and maybe hair color, try to grey the DC out. Remember the goal is sex, not to make a girlfriend. Looking around also helps. Just mostly use your peripheral vision and avoid eye contact if possible.

•Summoning – If summoning works for you then summon the DC already naked or render a place where sexual activity normally takes place. I go up to buildings ( I have a few I frequent) and expect to find behind the door a brothel, massage parlor, porn shoot, ect….. I have one that the same madam meets me at the door and helps me pick out the DC that I want. However a while back in one of my LDs this place closed down for some dam reason. I had to fight off guards getting into the place. Once inside, it was empty and the people inside said they closed down.

•Greeting – I don’t know if it is me but I find that the random encounters where I get right to it without saying anything, tend not to be as successful. I have developed what I call a “Long Lost Girlfriend Greeting” (LLGG). I just say their name (random made up name) and act as though the DC was my girlfriend that I haven’t seen in a long time. After a quick hug, we go to work.

•Ripe scenes – If you have problems finding DCs, paint or transport to scenes where quality DCs are expected to be. In my LDs, my default scene is usually an office setting (boring). I usually fly through the wall, land and stabilize. Then I fly / transport to the beach, girls shower room, night club, or the brothels as mentioned above.

•DEILD – This method has by far afforded me with the most practice and opportunities to engage in the hobby. Up to about 8 months ago, I have had multiple LDs in a single night but wasn’t aware it was actually a DEILD. I then researched the technique and now quite often have several DEILD chains 2-5 LDs deep in a single night. Imagine walking up to a hot DC or in my typical case walk into a brothel, and get overwhelmed only to find yourself waking up. You remember to stay still and keep your eyes closed, and then boom your right back in the same scene or at least a new one. I remember one where I was feeling up this hot DC on a bus and she didn’t want me to go any further. Pissed off I woke up but had a DEILD and seconds later I was right back with her but outside the bus. She asked what happened to me. I told her I had to go check on something. She thought I left because I couldn’t get nowhere with her. She then opened up and I had my way with her. This is especially helpful if your frequency isn’t high enough to risk what could be a long LD only to wake up in frustration.

•The LD Orgasm – Ok lets say you have made it to this point without waking on a regular basis. Then comes the tricky part. I still got a lot of work to do in this area but have managed to pull it off about 75% of the time. I don’t know if it is me but I find that internal orgasms ( either of the 3 orifices) I wake right before or most of the time during. What I mean by during is that in the LD, I actually have the orgasm but wake a second or 2 later with the option to finish with the mess or shut it off without the mess. Most of the time it is in between the 2 with a controlled release if you will. Now if the O is external ( ie COF or a blast on the tits), I maintain control and even had multiple O’s, but they are not as intense as internal. Additionally, almost always wake up with no mess.

•Reality checks – For a good RC trigger use attractive women you see throughout the day. This has even a dream sign for me to trigger a DILD.

•After action review – When I record LDs in my DJ ( I don’t enter non-LDs), I come up with what went right and what went wrong.

•Iso-Chronic tones – Has little to no effect on sex but more to do with increasing LD frequency.

Hope this helps………………