Using lucidity for real-life situations

**steviewc** · 02-02-2016 08:33 AM

I don't know how to properly word anything that I ever say so lets hope this comes out right.
I don't like getting personal at all on the internet, but for the sake of my question and this thread, I'll put my guards down temporarily (and if there are others that may have this question, but are too anxious, or don't know how to ask: I hope this helps you)
Okay, so I graduated high school a while ago. Struggled with social anxiety most of my life, and my grades and well-being have suffered because of it. Anyway, I've been working hard to not let my anxiety overcome me, but I go to college in the fall, and I'm a dancer but haven't been to dance classes since last June. (this is getting so personal smh). With the realization that I'm going to be going back to school soon I've been getting really anxious about meeting people, trying to make friends, tests, teachers, presentations, asking questions, and asking for help. I've become so good at avoiding social conflict and social situations basically my whole life that the fact that college-time is near is really scary. (I mean, I know I'll be okay, I pray everyday. I'm just suddenly really anxious right now) Also I really love to dance, but I know that if I go back, I'll have to befriend people there. I know that everyone there loves to dance, too, but one of the things about having social anxiety is that making friends or talking about myself, let alone just talking to other people, isn't exactly my forté.
So I have all these situations in my head that I constantly think about, and I was wondering if anyone used LDing for personal situations like these? I think I read somewhere on here about someone using their lucidity to prepare for a presentation? I'm just really curious if there are a lot of people out there that may have used their lucidity to make a situation--that SEEMS like there'd be a lot of anxiety--into a less anxiety-filled situation.
For example, there's this person who I want to be friends with, and I know a lot about them (when you're the quiet one, you're also very observant ((this isn't weird at all lol)) but the thing that keeps me from befriending them is my crippling anxiety to approach them. I'm still getting the hang of LDing but that's besides the point (I'm really close, though!)
I hope that this super-extremely-personal post didn't weird anyone out. Feedback would be appreciated.

tl;dr
Clearly I have issues but I need some feedback on dealing with real-life situations when I'm LDing.

**Hitokage** · 02-02-2016 08:53 PM

Yes, even LaBerge in his book recommended using LD for such problems. It's a great playground where you can try all the situations you are afraid of with no bad consequences.
However don't assume that LD will resolve all your problems, it's just a good exercise to help.
By the way, I've had such feelings too for some time but then I realized that I am the part of this world and I need to communicate with the others in order to fulfill my dreams and also to help the others. It's not just about you but maybe your kind words might help someone else. It's not about going to parties and be super social. Everyone's different and I am a lone wolf myself but remember that sometimes the way you communicate with the others is much more important that all the other stuff you know.

**Redrivertears** · 02-02-2016 10:22 PM

Hey there,

Aside from the positive effects of lucid dreaming directly, you'll find that many of the exercises, especially things like mindfulness and meditation, will aid you in waking life as well. So you might look into the positive effects of those at the same time.

-Redrivertears-

**steviewc** · 02-03-2016 03:16 AM

Thank you for these words!

I still go out to grocery shop and occasionally watch a movie as long as my sister or my cousins are there with me. So I exercise getting out of my comfort zone in my daily life and that's what's important. Maybe when I start to get the hang of LDing, I'll try out a scary situation. But I don't think I'll do it often. I have huge dreams that require me befriending people, and so I know I'm going to get out of this prison in my head one day (I know this for sure). One day you'll see me dancing on TV haha.

My original post probably made me seem like a hermit lol.

Also, who is LaBerge?

**lunagoddess** · 02-03-2016 03:27 AM

I am also socially awkward and uncomfortable. I've never had an opportunity to push my social comfort zone in any of my lucid dreams so far (because I don't have them very often) but I notice that 'lucidity' helps me while I'm awake. If I'm socially uncomfortable in a waking life situation, I focus on being completely present and I basically pretend that I'm lucid dreaming. It reminds me that life is very similar to a dream and it helps me realize that I'm safe and my fears are unfounded. It also helps me stay in the moment and not getting swept away by my anxiety. It hasn't fixed the problem, but it does help me manage it. And technically I'm using it as a dream sign, so theoretically it should help me become lucid when I'm feeling similar strong emotions within an actual dream.

Stephen LaBerge is the well-known author and leader of lucid dream research.

**xxPhoebusxx** · 02-03-2016 06:54 AM

As someone who went through what you're going through. I'd say that this is something that would be best solved in real life. Just my opinion but since your dream takes place in your mind. It's going to be hard to not have your expectations control the behavior of the characters.

What I did was go and talk to random people and ask for the time etc for a bit. Then I just started practicing self-acceptance. You could use your LDs to increase self-awareness and resolve underlying issues.

But don't use it to rehearse.

**Patience108** · 02-03-2016 11:38 AM

Remembering Lucids deffinatelly helps my handling of WL situations- no doubt! Just knowing I have walked through walls and flown high up in the sky as well as handled potentially dangerous situations with openness and love has changed my WL very much for the better

**steviewc** · 02-06-2016 11:54 PM

Originally Posted by lunagoddess

I am also socially awkward and uncomfortable. I've never had an opportunity to push my social comfort zone in any of my lucid dreams so far (because I don't have them very often) but I notice that 'lucidity' helps me while I'm awake. If I'm socially uncomfortable in a waking life situation, I focus on being completely present and I basically pretend that I'm lucid dreaming. It reminds me that life is very similar to a dream and it helps me realize that I'm safe and my fears are unfounded. It also helps me stay in the moment and not getting swept away by my anxiety. It hasn't fixed the problem, but it does help me manage it.

I've been trying to deal with my anxiety, and I think your method is pretty great. Just being present. I also remind myself a lot that the people I interact with are human, too, and they get nervous. And lately I've been having a lot of things on my mind that I wanna talk about, so I try to remember the funny things that happened in my life, so I can tell people stories when I'm getting to know them.

**steviewc** · 02-06-2016 11:54 PM

Originally Posted by lunagoddess

I am also socially awkward and uncomfortable. I've never had an opportunity to push my social comfort zone in any of my lucid dreams so far (because I don't have them very often) but I notice that 'lucidity' helps me while I'm awake. If I'm socially uncomfortable in a waking life situation, I focus on being completely present and I basically pretend that I'm lucid dreaming. It reminds me that life is very similar to a dream and it helps me realize that I'm safe and my fears are unfounded. It also helps me stay in the moment and not getting swept away by my anxiety. It hasn't fixed the problem, but it does help me manage it.

I've been trying to deal with my anxiety, and I think your method is pretty great. Just being present. I also remind myself a lot that the people I interact with are human, too, and they get nervous. And lately I've been having a lot of things on my mind that I wanna talk about, so I try to remember the funny things that happened in my life, so I can tell people stories when I'm getting to know them.

**Queen Zukin** · 02-10-2016 01:22 AM

YES! When I was in middle school, I was in a runaway car accident. I had nightmares every night that I was in this awful car again and we were racing to our deaths. Coincidentally, around that time I was also getting into lucid dreaming. I had had the nightmare so many times that it became a dream sign. So, the next time I had that nightmare again, I became lucid. Upon realizing it was a dream, instead of avoiding it and flying away or teleporting, I just let it run its course. The runaway bus I was in slammed into the ground and all of the passengers went flying into the air. It was actually my first time flying in a lucid dream.

I don't really know how it works, but after that experience I had a lot less nightmares and made drastic leaps to getting over my fear of being in vehicles.