Thread: Sausage and deer

I had a very strange lucid dream today. I woke from a dream and keeping very still went straight into another one. I emerged from the blackness into a vast field. The grass was gold and the sky blue. I don't see anything in the distance so I start running as fast as I can.

It's probably about 20mph (even in dreams I'm not very fast), but it still feels good.

Then I see it.

A lioness. It's not very big, and for a moment I wonder if it even lifts. Then I realise its a lion and lions don't need to lift. The lioness immediately sits up when it notices me.

Slightly alarmed I try and conjure the full entirety of my oneironautical powers that I have learnt over my 20 or so lucid dreams. Recently I have been practising fireballs so I try and summon one in my hand. It doesn't work.

I look in my hand and find I have a slightly burnt sausage. Now the lioness is really paying attention. I don't know what she wants because there is a perfectly good deer standing only a few metres from her. It's much fatter than me and even I kind of want to eat it.

The lioness slowly approaches me and I can tell she's not going to fuck off. So I throw my sausage at the deer.

My hope is that the lion will go bother the deer. Unfortunately the opposite happens. The deer looks at the sausage and screams that it is a vegetarian. The lioness gives me an awful look and I get the suspicion that she's boning the deer.

They both chase me and suddenly the deer doesn't look half vegetarian anymore.

I scream for help and luckily someone answers.

The Master Chief from Halo falls from a drop pod and beats the shit out of the lioness. The deer runs away but is put down by a sniper round.

So my question to everyone is who should I have given the sausage to? I am really confused. I thought the deer was the logical option.