Thread: Does substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend have serious consequences?

I don't know what kind of effects it would have, but you do understand that this "girlfriend" would only be a figment of your imagination and would probably not compensate for non existing interation with an actual person, don't you. I don't think you can replace the experience of interacting with real people with what essentialy is yourself.

I think it COULD compensate for a RL GF. BUT not in every way. For ecample you can't do stuff with her during the day. I mean it's common sense, you don't really have to ask anybody. It's not hard to realise you can't have a baby with a dream GF. Well, not a real life baby anyway. Plus the "too hard" thing is bullshit. That's the whole fun. If you get a dream GF instantly there's no fun.

I don't see any problem, as long as you remember that she doesn't actually exist. (Going around talking about an imaginary person could affect one's [real] social life, but this would only be an issue for those with some kind of mental problem that makes it difficult for them to tell dreams/fantasy from reality.)

In fact, I might get a dream gf (or several ) when I start having lucid dreams.
Believing in love just ended up hurting me, so lucid dream "love" sounds much more appealing.

The point of lucid dreaming - in my opinion - is to have fun, so if having a dream gf is what you want, go for it!

Just don't forget that this GF is actually you, and that she only exists in your own head.

However I don't like the thought of comparing relationships with DC's (yourself) to interaction with other people. I don't doubt that talking to DC's could be an insightful or a pleasant experience, but I think the main things about life is getting as many viewpoints on the whole experence as possible. Therefore, I don't want to say that DC's would compensate for actual relationships with real moral consequense.

But maybe I am just taking this to seriously.

eh no, what's the problem with all of you?!
a fake girlfriend CAN'T replace a real girlfriend! never! we are talking about a human here! we are talking about life! I will accept of course, if you have a real, and a fake(imaginary, dreamy) one, but I'm sure your real girlfriend will not accept it
.

Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so

that's ridiculous and means that you are not a strong person, I don't want to be bad, but come on.
that's completely immature and stupid, womens aren't wolves, they aren't super hard levels in where you must destroy yourself to win a kiss. don't be ridiculous, respect yourself, they are only humans. If you can't trust in yourself, and can't have a relationship with yourself, then is less probably that you can have a relationship with people. if you don't love yourself, you can't love other people, I'm sorry.
learn to live with yourself.

Believing in love just ended up hurting me, so lucid dream "love" sounds much more appealing.

WTF, this is terrible man.
learn to live with that hurting,is part of life, you can't live in a world of roses.
also, what do you mean?? believing in love? love must not be "believed", love must be LIVED, and used it to gain experience.
when you start to "believe" in love, then I'm sorry, I know what men trying to do when this happens, I know what are you referring to, so, I must tell that you are doing things wrong.
learn from your experiences.
no person can't hurt your feelings if you are mature, strong, and you respect yourself.

"there are not bad women, just weak men."

I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF. Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass? With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order. But you can't avoid sleeping! And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you. And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.

Originally Posted by Mariano

I'm sure your real girlfriend will not accept it

Only if you tell her about it. It's dreams, you would be smart not to say anything about it.

Originally Posted by Mariano

eh no, what's the problem with all of you?!
a fake girlfriend CAN'T replace a real girlfriend! never!

Maybe he doesn't want a real/serious relationship

learn to live with that hurting,is part of life, you can't live in a world of roses.

I'm not much into love anyway. I might have been a few years ago, but it was probably just something I subconsciously told myself.

[Unsuccessful] love is one of the leading causes of emotional pain, and pain is undesirable, so because of my lack of interest in love, I choose to avoid it.

learn from your experiences.

I have, and my experiences (the little I have had) told me that love is not for me.

no person can't hurt your feelings if you are mature, strong, and you respect yourself.

It wasn't a girlfriend who hurt my feelings, it was not having one.
I don't go out and meet people, I sit in front of my computer all day, but I was too stupid to realize that this might be why I didn't get a gf.

I don't like social interactions (except when I'm drunk, lol), and that's what I meant when I said that love is not for me.
When I think back, I don't think I actually loved my gf (of course, I didn't realize this back then). I probably just tried to [subconsciously] make myself believe that I was interested in love/relationships because that's what teens are "supposed" to like.


On-topic: For people like me, real-life love is just a pain in the ass, so I'm all for having dream partners instead of real ones.
You have my support, Math ^^

Originally Posted by Acala

I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF. Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass? With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order. But you can't avoid sleeping! And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you. And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.

I just have no interest in a relationship so i don't have an opinion. hahah.

True, love isn't for some people. I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too. I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love. So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF. If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.

Originally Posted by tommo

True, love isn't for some people. I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too. I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love. So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF. If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.

That sounds like its the wrong chick or you're insecure.

Dude, I just don't care about relatinships. I'm almost asexual, but i still want sex. hahaha.

Some people think this is pretty sad, others think its an amazing idea. lol. Me , personnally think its a bit of both.

True, love isn't for some people. I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too. I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love. So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF. If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.

of course love is for some people. but that people must be mentally ill or something, which is quite possible, and right now the world is full of them.
you suck at relationships? that's because you don't have enough experience.
but lets see something, you can be a person who doesn't want to change, you must understand that you probably finish alone. nobody is talking about big changes, just worrying about other people.

Personal opinion, I think the use of a dream girlfriend could help you prepare and learn what to expect from a real life girlfriend.

This is one of the benefits of lucid dreaming that Stephen Laberge reccomends in EWOLD, testing certain situations that you are preparing for.

Having a dream fling with a celebrity or your hot teacher is one thing. But maintaining a continuous fantasy relationship is a whole other story. Sounds like one could get a bit obsessive, having one character on the mind all the time. Sounds almost as dangerous as getting a real girlfriend! Just kidding. But seriously.

Why limit yourself to monogamy in the realm where you potentially have ultimate freedom? You even could have more than one dreamt monogamous relationship, a different 'lifelong partner' each night, with strategic use of time dilation and false memory and history.

In conclusion: Disregard females, acquire currency. Do what thou wilt.

Me, I like romance as a genre of fiction. But as a dream fantasy, I am severely ambivalent. When I have dreams of love, I wake up with a slight sense of embarrassment. I could ramble on about this more. Maybe I will inflict my self-analysis upon some unsuspecting users of the chat room later this evening!

Originally Posted by Rosewhip137

Personal opinion, I think the use of a dream girlfriend could help you prepare and learn what to expect from a real life girlfriend.

This is one of the benefits of lucid dreaming that Stephen Laberge reccomends in EWOLD, testing certain situations that you are preparing for.

Yes. Getting a dream girlfriend for purposes of curing social anxieties, or phobias, is a great idea, and a good means to prepare OP for the real thing.

Unfortunately, OP didn't describe /why/ he wanted a dream girlfriend in the first place.

Originally Posted by Acala

I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF. Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass? With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order. But you can't avoid sleeping! And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you. And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.

*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*
Stuff like that only happens in shitty writing. But, if someone /did/ claim to have nightmares over a dream breakup, they should simply remind themselves that since the dream lover is a part of them, and the dream-ex should understand perfectly the reasons for the break up and cease to torment.

Yes. Getting a dream girlfriend for purposes of curing social anxieties, or phobias, is a great idea, and a good means to prepare OP for the real thing.

oh yeah ! it's extremely useful for that, even if is not a girlfriend, but a girl on a bus, or a girl walking...

Originally Posted by Citrusponge

In conclusion: Disregard females, acquire currency. Do what thou wilt.

Originally Posted by Citrusponge

Me, I like romance as a genre of fiction.

Romance + Fantasy is the perfect combination for me. This is the main reason im like an emo chick to twilight for avatar. It's an amazing fantasy, and it's not just a romance. There's so much baggage involved with it. hahaha.

Originally Posted by tommo

True, love isn't for some people. I'm starting to debate myself over whether it's for me too. I mean I love someone, but it's not worth it to try and be with her coz I suck at relationships, I'd have to change myself way too much to be with the girl I love. So I guess if it's a problem like that, sure go for a dream GF. If it's just that you cbf, then that's a bad excuse and you don't know what love is, dreams won't help you with that one.

Does it mean can't be fussed in this case?

Can't be fucked, but yeah, can't be fussed I spose works too.
Basically you said it's too hard to get a real girlfriend or have a real girlfriend. Which is a lame excuse to get a dream girlfriend. As others have said, a good reason to get a dream girlfriend would be to practice for when you get a real life girlfriend.

Originally Posted by Mathemagician-Taliskuji

I'm male btw.

Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself? : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.

This isn't good at all!

Essentially, it's an admission that you can't get one in real life. You're essentially using lucid dreaming as a sort of drug to artificially create the same feelings as you'd get in real life with a girlfriend.

You know what lucid dreams are good for in this scenario? Fuck buddies. That's it. Find an LD fuck buddy and stick with that.

Ah, you meant getting a dream GF instead of "I got a dream GF and ditched the RL one because of it", then, don't see much of a problem with that, so long as you don't confuse reality with dreams and don't think you can't get a waking GF because of it... yep.

Oh christ, you cannot be serious.

Dreams are not a substitute for reality. Lucid dreams are fun and totally awesome, but they are just that: dreams.
Just because you can run as fast as the speed of sound in a dream doesn't mean you should stop exercising in real life. Just because you can get laid in a dream doesn't mean you should stop trying to be romantically involved with someone in reality. I can't believe that anyone would even consider it.

"hurr durr, but i cant gets a girlfriend Gutts!"

Then maybe it's time to step up and improve yourself. Nobody wants to date a socially retarded recluse; which is what you must be if you really think getting a chick is "too hard." Start working out and talking to more women, the rest will work itself out. You don't need pick up lines or stupid tricks. It's human nature.

Originally Posted by Mathemagician-Taliskuji

I'm male btw.

Does doing this have serious consequences on yourself? : Instead of going for a real life girlfriend because you feel that its too hard to do so, you decide to go for a lucid dream girlfriend instead. You spend your lucid dream time with her. But in real life, you're not with her or a real life girlfriend.

I think www.fastseduction.com would be much better for you than dreamviews. I'm not saying don't go to DV, but I used to be really insecure and wouldn't try because I knew I would fail. It's self-destructive behavior and sure as shit didn't make me happy. I started looking into pick-up artists and learning techniques and things to be more attractive to girls. The words "seduction" and "pick up artist" sound bad, but it's really not about that. It's about becoming the person you want to be, and not the average frustrated chump (AFC) getting nowhere with yourself.

I don't really do that stuff anymore, but I maintained the mentality from it, which is all it's really about. If you're too scared to try, how will you ever really know if a girl would like you or not?