Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Jim I hope your power is back on today! And that your generator worked last night.

Some people just can't WAIT to get upset or mean about something, they'll jump at the chance to even if their reaction is completely nonsensical.

Man that's 99% of the customers I deal with. They have anger, want to get it out, so they do it to employees because they think we can't or won't stand up for ourselves or we'll get fired. People like that severely need therapy, not us as their own personal emotional punching bags.

Basically how I feel right now: I am me. If you don't like me for me then get out of my life... A lot has happened to me seems like recently. Finally learning how to stand up for myself...

Living with an alcoholic is absolute shit. Being depressed is one thing, but at some point you have to man up and just deal with your problems head on instead of trying to chase them away with the bottle. That sort of weakness of character is fucking disgusting.

Neo, I thought for sure that reading your post before sleep would give me similar dreams but thankfully, it didn't lol. I have tornado dreams more often than I'd like! I'm scared of them though I've never been through a real one. They're just so darned unpredictable!!

Oneiroer, I should stand up for myself more often too but it's just so much easier to go with the flow.

Gavin.

My rant is that I was either short changed or lost about $25. I need to go through my receipts to see where I went wrong.
I'm also ranting because neither Goodwill nor Walmart had any truly decent dresses. But seeing how I don't have as much money to play with, it doesn't really matter. I guess I'll be doing laundry and just wear what I always wear on the trip.

A rave is that I finished the Farmville quest with time to spare and now I can go back to ignoring the game I also bought 2 new pens and a Big Breakfast platter with Hotcakes from McD's for breakfast. I can't remember the last time I had that.
And even though I didn't get any dresses, I found one skirt and a winter vest at Goodwill and a pack of socks plus a vest at Walmart. I love vests and have practically lived in one for over 10 years without finding another. I found two in one day which is awesome. They're not as nice as my usual one, but they'll definitely do.

I've been awake since 1:30AM and now I'm beat and ready to crawl back in bed. Blec.

My rant is that I have damn boring friends! Oh man it's summer and these people prefer to stay indoors instead of going to the beach or drink something. Then they come and say, oh why don't you want to do anything?
Also I'm stressed because all the university paperwork, which I have to deliver tomorrow. I've been looking for flats and the ones I like are too far away or they are too expensive, anyway I've found two of them which seem to be okay, I've to go and see them myself.

Rave is that I'm pretty excited that everything went okay with grades, and yesterday I received an admission message from the university I wanted so I'm pretty happy.

I just had two cavities filled in and I'm not sure if I can floss between those spots anymore. I once pulled out a chunk of an older filling so I stopped flossing there fearing it would pull out the rest. I told my dentist about it and he hit me with a non-answer... I figured I'd ask him again once the procedure was over, but I forgot.

Isn't he supposed to tell me this sort of thing on his own? .-.

Nothing to do, so much energy.... much fapping.

I'm so depressed lately. No desire to do anything, back to having no love in my life, nothing to look forward to.
I'm trying to find something, but it's all impersonal crap, like technology, bitcoins, music etc.
Two friends want to hang out, but I have no desire to, even though I know it'd make me feel better.
Catch-22 of depression.

It's also stupidly cold here, and has been for months. I thought it was almost Summer, then got told Winter only just started....
I'm pretty sure we missed Autumn entirely and just had Winter instead, and now actual Winter again.
Dumb country....

Oh and I also got reminded again to not trust anybody's words, and only judge them on their actions.
People say things so often, and then prove they were lying, with their actions.
Pisses me off, especially when I'm just starting to think of them as good friends.

I slept in today and had to cancel my appointment with the psychologist... Probably wasn't a good idea. >_>

Originally Posted by Zoth

Great surprise: I didn't get in.

Not only that, I was placed 9th in the list of 10 people. Despite being the person with the highest grade in the exam (note: an exam in which people with Master Degrees failed), the only one presenting a portfolio of academic work, the only one who had subjects completed in that faculty, not only I didn't get in...I was placed practically last.

They asked nothing about my portfolio during the interview, which I assumed was fine since they had it with them (probably gonna check it later). But no: apparently top exam grade and being the only person who actually showed academia work with a portefolio of 400 pages....get's you last place. I don't even know how I could have done better, especially since I showed evaluation forms and research with should at least give me equivalency to half the degree, not to mention the other subjects I completed while studying there some years ago.

No comments, I did the right thing on criticizing their application process in my essay, it's a freaking joke.

How is that even possible?!
I blame bribery (?)

Rant: I can't eat or drink from sunrise till sundown. I'm freaking hungry!!
I'm not a Muslim but my family is (I turned to atheisism but haven't told them yet), and they expect me to do this ritual too, and I have too!
On the bright side, it does have some health benefits (I guess? That's what they say)

Originally Posted by LouaiB

How is that even possible?!
I blame bribery (?)

Rant: I can't eat or drink from sunrise till sundown. I'm freaking hungry!!
I'm not a Muslim but my family is (I turned to atheisism but haven't told them yet), and they expect me to do this ritual too, and I have too!
On the bright side, it does have some health benefits (I guess? That's what they say)

Fasting is a great way to learn self-restraint and develop a sense of humility. If you're not religious, ignore the religious connection. There's still plenty of benefits to be gained from the ritual.

Or take performing ablutions and praying fives a day for example. Even if you aren't going to pray, use that time to pause and reflect on your behavior during the last few hours, and think of ways to improve.

I lost more like $50. How the heck does a person lose $50.?

I'm going to try to get both of my advances from hubby tonight... buy more clearos, cat food, kids tobacco and whatever else I can think of. We're actually not coming home until Monday. Ugh.
I slept forever yesterday and still managed to sleep through the night. Oh yes, I also need to buy more Cranberry pills. I've been staying pretty dehydrated thanks to all this sleep and I can definitely feel it in my kidneys.
I've also been staying pretty light headed (with one of my ears ringing and then going deaf as it does when I'm having a vasal vagal reaction. I need to check my blood pressure, but I have a feeling all of this is just travel anxiety
I have 3 loads to wash and dry. One's hanging up now. It looks like it's going to rain but intellicast says it's supposed to pass us. I REALLY hope the rain stays away until my clothes dry!!!

I'm just going to pack a book bag. It's larger than most and even has an outside pocket I can place the things that need to go into a bag for inspection (e-juice, deodorant etc). They better not give me a hard time about my Slim Jims. I NEED my friggin slim jims as much as I do my e-cigs. It's just about all I flipping eat for crying out loud. If I go without food for 3-5 hours I start feeling punched in the gut. (A single slim jim mini takes care of that feeling. It doesn't have to be a large amount of food, just *something*).

RAWR!!! We get back on Monday and then turn right around and leave again early Thursday/late Wednesday. I really hope hubby has second thoughts and we don't take the second trip. Wayyyy too much friggin hassle.

for everyone. Hope you rescheduled, Gavin, especially with you feeling manic.
Make plans with your friends, Tommo. Like you said, once you do it, you will feel better. Just gotta give yourself one swift kick in the rear to take that first step

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Fasting is a great way to learn self-restraint and develop a sense of humility. If you're not religious, ignore the religious connection. There's still plenty of benefits to be gained from the ritual.

Or take performing ablutions and praying fives a day for example. Even if you aren't going to pray, use that time to pause and reflect on your behavior during the last few hours, and think of ways to improve.

These are the things that keep me motivated too! I especially like the idea of training my will power.
I tend to meditate too, for LDing, but also serves as a time to reflect upon my actions, desires and stuff similar to these

Rant: Look at how beautiful this girl is!! Why can't I have her?!



Next LD, I promise!

So I have a female friend who recently fulfilled a longtime dream of hers to travel to Israel.

Their tour guide was so busy being overtly racist and rude that he got the bus lost, ending up at an armed checkpoint in Syria where everyone was forced to exit the bus and be searched at gunpoint. But sure, aside from that, the trip might've went okay except...

My friend was spat on by devotees while visiting the Wailing Wall. More than once. Enough said.

She said she was glad she did it for herself, but would never go again or recommend the trip to anyone.

Originally Posted by acatalephobic

So I have a female friend who recently fulfilled a longtime dream of hers to travel to Israel.

Their tour guide was so busy being overtly racist and rude that he got the bus lost, ending up at an armed checkpoint in Syria where everyone was forced to exit the bus and be searched at gunpoint. But sure, aside from that, the trip might've went okay except...

My friend was spat on by devotees while visiting the Wailing Wall. More than once. Enough said.

She said she was glad she did it for herself, but would never go again or recommend the trip to anyone.

lol




























I mean, oh that's tragic. :[

What's up DV?

Steve (my boyfriend) just drove off after being here for 2 months (back home as we live in different countries). I suppose I'm writing here because I'm not used to being alone and it's nice to talk to someone. Obviously it's been a shitty day. One solemn last walk, came home and procrastinated until he finally managed to leave. I dreaded this day for so long that when it came I went numb, and was able to keep that up until about 5 minutes before he actually left. There are probably a number of these rants on this thread because it's a familiar situation. I've never been with someone physically without dreading the day one of us would have to leave. It's hard to believe that for most people that's a normal relationship.

I'm relieved it's over. Leaving is so difficult in that situation that we sort of just want it to be done with, and it is (finally). While we were walking earlier some guy with mental problems started calling to us, "are you happy? are you happy!?..." A woman who seemed to be his caretaker looked distressed and tried to get him to follow her. Normally when I run into someone like that I'll go along with it. It seems that people like that enjoy making others feel uncomfortable, so when I pretend to go along with it and smile they tend to leave me alone. But this time, the irony of it, that we were trying to fight off misery while this asshole bullies us by asking if we're happy... I got pissed. He yelled "I'm happy" and I yelled "good for you!"

Spoiler for mom rant:

My mom is getting on my nerves more and more. I've been thinking about it and talking to Steve about it a lot lately and there's so much to cover that is fucked up about the way she acts that going into detail would take pages. But something she did a few minutes ago bothered me a lot. Steve was leaving, standing at the doorway. I was holding in tears. He's leaving - it's a sad situation, obviously (or so I thought). But as they're saying their goodbyes, my mom stares as me and says in an almost uplifting voice "you look depressed. Are you depressed?" I just stared at her, unable to believe she was even asking that. Of course I'm upset. I've been living with my boyfriend and we've been doing pretty much everything together for 2 months, and now he's suddenly leaving. Not only will I miss him, but the abrupt change of lifestyle will be a shock to my system. Of course I'm upset. How could I not be? Plus, she knows that I don't like discussing my feelings with them and that when I'm in distress I want to be alone (or should know, maybe she's so bad at picking up cues she doesn't know). Not once has she asked me how I'm feeling and it's ended well. Yet when I'm in obvious emotional turmoil she still doesn't understand that I'd like to be left alone? So not only am I upset because he's about to walk out the door, but now you've told me that I look like I'm depressed, so now I'm self-conscious of my facial expression on top of that. Thanks. It almost feels like my mom tries to make everyone uncomfortable, perhaps on a subconscious level. It's just that... that's the kind of situation that you should just keep quiet in. You don't ask someone who's going through something upsetting "are you depressed?" It just sounds condescending. I don't know what to think about her - whether she's just being passive aggressive, doesn't understand when it's okay to ask certain questions or just doesn't understand getting attached to someone romantically so she honestly couldn't comprehend why I was upset.

Another thing happened a couple days ago, as an example. Steve and I went hiking in this forest area. We had the idea to 'smoke when we first got there, to help provoke a nice relaxing awesome forest walk. Unfortunately some huge summer camp group of kids was there, and it was a sunny day so the place was overwhelmed with teenagers too. We both get pretty nervous around people in general, especially kids and teenagers. But we couldn't turn a corner without some kid running around, or some shirtless fit group of teenagers standing around looking cool and judging us (or so it felt like). We went to a restaurant after that and were both extremely exhausted by the time we got home. When you're an introvert and not used to going out in public at all, being surrounded by people all day is exhausting. We wanted to go right up to my room when we got home, but we had this layered cake we had to make icing for. While doing that, my mom walked into the kitchen. She stared at me for a bit, making me extremely uncomfortable. I looked away from her for a few seconds, then back to her to find her still just glaring at me. As someone who gets really self-conscious even when no one is staring at me, this was quite irritating.

Then she started talking. "Why don't you even look at me? Why don't you say hi to me?", etc. Normally I'll say hi to her or whatever (even though the fact that she finds it so important that I say hi makes it extremely unnatural and uncomfortable to do so), but today I wasn't in the mood for any interaction. She kept staring at me and asked me if something's wrong. I said "we've been at [forest place] all day and I'm kind of exhausted." She immediately gets upset. "You're exhausted!? [Forest place] is like.. fun! I'm exhausted. I had to work all day! Going to [forest place] is no excuse ([disgusted voice])." Then she goes on to yell at me, asking me why I never talk to her, etc. She even brought Steve into it. She asked him "Does she say hi to you and smile when she sees you?" I didn't say a thing, just remained silent, since I honestly didn't know what else to do. She just seemed insane. I tried to explain myself, to tell her the reason that I might seem upset right now (because I'm exhausted) and she basically responded by telling me I don't have a right to be exhausted. Basically telling me I'm lying about the way I feel because she can't imagine feeling that way. Does that attitude make me want to tell her anything personal? Not really. Maybe if she actually seemed to care and listen openly without judgement I'd consider telling her some things about my thoughts and feelings. But instead she acts like she has a right to know how I feel at all times, and yells at me if I don't tell her. She doesn't respect my desire to keep things to myself. Which is really weird, because she claims to be an introvert, so you'd think she'd understand that, as well as being 'peopled out'. If she understood being peopled out, not only would she understand that I might get exhausted by being out all day, but she wouldn't have instantly started yelling at me after her 'long day at work' in the first place. I could go into more but I didn't even plan to talk this much about her so I'll stop now.

I suppose I'll play Minecraft now for a bit. Thanks DV. I've wasted a good hour on here already.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

lol
I mean, oh that's tragic. :[

Not tragic, just disheartening and frustrating...made even more so by the fact that pretty much all of it could have been avoided. Plus its always a bit sad in a way to have this wonderful idea of something, only to have it crushed by reality.

Better to see the truth though. Silver linings, I guess.

Also

Originally Posted by Dianeva

mom rant

Mom's can be tough. In some cases they are in a grey area, being both a parental authority figure that desires obedience, and humble human capable of making mistakes. They are a little of both so they get confused sometimes.

Just like everyone else, they need periodic reality checks
But since they birthed us generally they expect that we will always see things their way (ridiculous). They need to be reminded that as parents they did not create a mini-clone of themselves. They created a person with a mind of it's own.

Being able to talk out your feelings with them is important because speaking your mind helps you feel better and ideally helps them understand you better. Standing up for how you feel is the only way a parent (or anyone really) will learn to see and respect you for the person you are.

And if it helps, in my personal experience, having my own space was essential. My mom and I are similar and both a bit stubborn, so we got to each other way more when we were constantly around each other 24/7. Having my own space immediately helped our relationship, and I think we both are able to appreciate our time together more as a result.

Being really hot and really hungry is a bad combination. The hungry part is fixable, but most food is hot food and It's too hot for hot food! And the hot part is sucky because it's stupid summer and I hate summer very, very much! I want winter!!! Nice, lovely winter and cold and rain!! *sigh* Such difficulty.

I have a gambling problem...and I think I am starting to control the craving to gamble by being content with being broke... however odd that may seem... (I work though so its not like I am totally broke because of gambling...)

Originally Posted by oneiroer

I have a gambling problem...and I think I am starting to control the craving to gamble by being content with being broke... however odd that may seem... (I work though so its not like I am totally broke because of gambling...)

Get that under control as soon as possible, broseph - gambling problems have a tendency to quickly spiral out of control. =/

Originally Posted by Lumenia

Being really hot and really hungry is a bad combination. The hungry part is fixable, but most food is hot food and It's too hot for hot food! And the hot part is sucky because it's stupid summer and I hate summer very, very much! I want winter!!! Nice, lovely winter and cold and rain!! *sigh* Such difficulty.

Same here, I can only eat ice cream or something really cold because it is way too hot here. We don't even have an AC (I'm at my grandparents' house) and fans don't do much :/

I will try GavinGill.
As a side note I don't like facebook too much anymore. I'll definitely be on here more often.

Here in San Carlos, relaxing it up while hubby runs around with his son. It's been a nice trip thus far. No-stop flights are THE way to go!!! The room is nice too. It's a residency place with a fridge and microwave. And the window opens. I REALLY like that but it's the first place ever, other than Hawaii that I've been able to open one.
Ate dinner last night with my step-son and hubby. It was an expensive place and we had the sampler meal. It was VERY yummy. I'm not a wine drinker though, so I tried Rose Lemonade which was surprisingly very good. And then I had a Mandarin Orange Jigger which was okay. Both were sort of between flavored sparkling water and soda.

3 cats have died since I've been here though. I've been expecting 2 of the kittens to die. Sable and Fiesty. But Fluffybutt died too and I don't understand how. She was 8 months old or so and completely healthy when I left (or so it seemed). The kids think they might have gotten into the floor cleaner. The rest of them are okay so far, as is the dog and my bird. I'm sad about Fluffy. She was a real sweety. She was also a fluffy black cat (as was Sable). Must be something genetic because none of our dark cats ever make it. (Unless she really did drink the mop water, but I don't see why she would do that).

everyone.

My life has been made a torment for 3 straight days now by a fly. I can even remember countless times waking or near-waking to keep brushing it away from my ears/eyes/face. Sleep has been very shallow and broken frequently. I think it even showed up in my dreams in various ways, but I don't recall them very well. If what they say about the lifespan of a fly is true he's probably just about at his expiration date, but today I was finally able to outsmart the little sucker!! He finds me wherever I am, so I stood by the front door until I started hearing the buzzing, then I opened it and stood halfway outside. He landed on the door, so all I had to do was step the rest of the way out and close it, and he flew off!! Free at last!!

At one point I thought about this - if it's annoying for a person to constantly have to flick them off, how annoying must be the life of a fly? Compelled to land on nearby animals, but never being able to land for more than a second before being brushed off (or before a murder attempt). Hope you're enjoying the great outdoors little dude!!

Got some social exposure today, it was fun.

Didn't realize I had been isolating myself.